Chapter 7 - Lesley
I couldn’t hold back the rush of tears any longer. It came spilling out of me in the comfort of the darkness. I thought I could cry in peace. I leaned myself against a thick tree trunk, sunk my face into my arm and sobbed.
Alfie hated me. I could see it in his eyes, in his tone of voice . . . Even tonight when I tucked him into bed and read him his story, he was only tolerating me. How was I supposed to do the job that had been assigned to me? How was I supposed to be a good nanny and companion to Alfie if he despised me? I wished I could help him. I sympathized with the kid. Being deserted by your mother at such an early age can’t be easy . . . But he wasn’t even willing to give me a chance.
And then there was Connor. I thought I could keep hating him, but it was impossible. He was sexy in a way that no man could ever be. Despite how rude he was and how coldly he treated me, I was still attracted to him.
Since the moment I saw him in Paddy’s Pub, all I’d thought about was being close to him. I couldn’t stop staring, I couldn’t stop imagining what it would feel like to have his rough fingers all over my body. That was the reason why I was in Texas, why I’d taken up this mysterious job . . . I wanted to be close to him.
I was admitting it to myself for the first time as I stood there crying in the dark. Before that, I’d just been kidding myself . . . Telling myself that I took this job just because I needed work. Because I wanted to get away from the Hamptons and my family and make a decent livelihood. But the truth was that Connor Marshall’s chiseled torso had as much to do with it as anything else. But he didn’t look at me the same way. He looked at me like I was a piece of meat . . . like I was any other woman he could just take and discard.
I sniffled and tried to brush the tears away from my cheeks, but I felt lost and alone.
“Lesley . . . ” Connor’s voice startled me, and I whipped around to find him standing behind me. My eyes had adjusted to the dark, and I could see him clearly in the moonlight now. His face was firmly set, his blue eyes were sparkling.
“Oh, I’m sorry . . . I didn’t know you were here,” I struggled with my words and tried to control my tears. I knew they were still streaking my cheeks.
“No, I’m the one who should be apologizing,” he said and my lips parted in shock. Those were not the words I’d expected him to say. I thought he was going to laugh at me or be angry with me for being such a weakling and breaking into tears.
Instead, I watched him in a shaky kind of silence, as he reached for my face with one hand. He was stroking my cheek with the back of his fingers. I stared at him. He was wiping my tears away.
“I’m sorry for my behavior, Lesley. I know I’ve been rude to you. This is all strange and new to you . . . and Alfie is a handful. I should be kinder to you, just like you are to us,” he said as his fingers travelled from my cheek to my lips.
He was close to me, close enough for me to reach out and touch him. I wanted to so badly. I could feel my whole body shaking from the desperate urge to just touch him. Connor’s fingers traced the shape of my lips and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Then I watched as he leaned towards me. His breath fell on my face, moving some of my stray locks away from my eyes. I could almost taste him. I could breathe in his scent.
When our lips finally grazed, I felt electric shocks running up and down my spine. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. That Connor was actually going to kiss me. I gasped when his lips pressed into mine.
His hands weaved into my hair, both his hands . . . He was ruffling my hair as he kissed me. His body’s force pressed me into the tree trunk behind us and I closed my eyes. This had to be a dream! This couldn’t be real!
Connor’s lips and mine fused and slipped over one another’s. My fingers trembled as I reached for his shoulders and held on to him lightly. He angled my face to the left and then the right to kiss me better. It was slow and soft and seemed to last forever.
He was the one who pulled away first, leaving me breathless and panting. I could feel the wetness between my thighs, the knots in my belly tightening. I wanted more. One innocent kiss with him wasn’t enough. This was something straight out of my fantasies.
“Sleep well tonight, Lesley,” he said and stroked my cheek again with the back of his fingers, before turning around and walking away.
I watched him in the dark, walking back towards the house with his hands stuck deep into the pockets of his jeans.
I’d forgotten about my tears. I’d forgotten about everything that was making me sad just a few minutes ago. Now, all I could think about was how this was all real. Connor Marshall had really kissed me! The change in him made me weak in the knees. He was so cold till now – until he was not . . . He was perfect. He made me feel better. He had made me feel safe.
I waited till he had gone into the house before I followed.
The house was dark and quiet when I stepped in. Everyone was asleep and Connor seemed to have gone to his room. As I took the stairs up to my bedroom, I realized that I was smiling. I didn’t think I could have anything to smile about these days.