‘Do you ever feel like you took a wrong turn somewhere and you’re not sure you can get back on the right road?’ Tash asks as she dishes out the fish and chips.

‘No, never,’ Alex says, his face serious.

‘Really?’ I say, picking a chip off my plate. ‘God.’

‘Sorry,’ Alex says. ‘That’s a lie. I feel like that almost all the time.’

Tash snorts and Alex smiles. ‘Not so much lately, if I’m honest. Things are mostly pretty good. But I’ve felt like that for a lot of my life.’

‘And so… what do you do about it?’ Tash says.

‘Have you ever used GPS in a car?’ Alex asks us.

I shake my head. ‘I can’t drive.’

‘I’ve used it on my phone,’ Tash says.

‘Ah right. So they give you directions, right? But if you go wrong, they just work out a different route. And while they do it, the little electronic voice tells you it’s doing it. It says something like “recalibrating” or “finding alternative route”.’

‘Huh,’ I say.

‘So I need to recalibrate,’ Tash says.

‘Yup,’ Alex says. ‘Or find an alternative route.’

‘That is actually really helpful,’ Tash tells him.

‘Yeah?’ he says, his face breaking into a grin. ‘I was just thinking maybe it was bollocks.’

I laugh. ‘No. Definitely not bollocks.’

I look from Alex to Tash and back again. They like each other. And that’s a good thing. And I’m not worried about it. I once asked Max if he fancied Tash (I like to torture myself, I guess) and he said she was out of his league. Which made me feel great. But with Alex, I get that he likes her, but I don’t feel like he’s seeing me as second division, or whatever. That feels like something for me to recalibrate.

I’m not sure there’s anything more delicious than fish and chips, particularly when you’re hungry. I make a chip butty with so much butter that it melts and runs down my arms.

‘Iz. I can see your hands,’ Tash says, after a minute.

I hold my hands up and rub them together, smearing butter over them both. My hands appear in front of me, sort of blurry and vague, like an undeveloped photo.

‘What’s that?’ Alex asks.

‘Butter.’

He opens and closes his mouth, one of his hands reaching out towards mine.

‘Don’t even think about it,’ Tash says. ‘I’ve got a broken heart and I’m not sitting here stuffing my face with chips while you develop some sort of butter kink.’

‘Oh my god!’ I snort. ‘That’s not—’

But then I see Alex’s face and he looks like he wants to eat me. I stare at his mouth and I want to wish Tash away and let Alex lick the butter off my fingers.

‘Shit,’ I say quietly.

‘Seriously,’ Tash says. ‘Knock it the fuck off. I’m really happy for you both, but not today, Satan.’

Alex laughs and picks up his tea, draining it to the bottom of the mug. ‘More wine?’ he asks, faux-brightly.

I laugh. ‘Please.’

‘Call me if you need me,’ Alex says when we’ve finished the fish and chips and the wine and he needs to get home and sleep before work tomorrow.

‘I’m getting a strong feeling of déjà vu here,’ I say.

Alex grins. ‘That’s all we need.’

‘Thanks for today,’ Tash says, tipping her head back on the sofa to look at him upside down.

‘No worries,’ he says. ‘You take care of yourself.’

I follow him through the kitchen to the door and he stops and reaches out to me again. I love it. I love the way his hands on me make me feel. I just want to lean against him and let him hold me. I would totally let him shove his hand down my jeans at a bus stop.

‘Thank you,’ I say again.

‘You don’t have to keep thanking me. It was no big deal.’ His fingers walk up my spine.

‘It was,’ I say. ‘It was to me and it was to Tash.’

He tips his head and I press my forehead against his.

‘Well,’ he says. ‘Then you’re welcome.’

‘I don’t want to kiss,’ I say, my mouth almost touching his. ‘I mean, I do. But not now. Here. With Tash over there. I want it to be…’ I shake my head. ‘Can we do it another time?’

‘Fuck,’ he says and I feel his breath against my lips. ‘I really need to get home and, you know, sort myself out.’

I laugh. ‘Oh my god.’

‘And,’ he says quietly, his mouth next to my ear. ‘We’re totally investigating that butter thing at some point.’