Molly

His confession guts me, and I realize this is just as big a milestone for him as it is for me. And while I’ve been self-absorbed with my own issues, I haven’t considered his. We’re both wading into new territory. We’re both going out on a limb and trusting someone else not to hurt us.

I reach out and put my hands on his face, brushing my thumbs along his cheeks just above his beard. He lowers his eyelids and relaxes into my touch.

“Jamie?”

“Yes?”

“Come here.”

I guide his face toward mine with a gentle pull, and he follows. What starts out as a simple kiss quickly turns into something a little bit out of control. It’s like someone flipped a switch. Now that we’ve given each other the green light, there’s nothing standing in the way.

Jamie looms closer, sliding his fingers into the hair at the base of my skull, tugging firmly, not enough to hurt, but definitely enough to get my attention. He pulls off my hair tie, and my hair falls to my shoulders. I draw in a nervous breath, and he takes advantage of my open mouth to slip his tongue inside.

He lifts his mouth just enough to speak, his voice low and rough. “I won’t ask for anything more than you’re comfortable with. We don’t have to have sex if you’re not ready. We can just sleep together. But either way, I want you to stay the night with me. Please.”

How can I say no? He’s saying all the right things, the things I need for him to say. He’s not pushing me. He’s not asking for more than I’m ready for. And I know I can trust him to keep his word.

“All right,” I say, my voice barely more than a whisper. My heart’s beating triple time, thundering against my ribs. I feel like I’m stepping blindly off a great precipice. I can only hope that he’ll be there to catch me.

I lie back, and Jamie hovers over me, kissing and licking his way into my mouth. His hands are holding my face, angling our mouths for the perfect fit. My arms slip around his torso and I stroke his back, feeling the taut lines of his muscles.

We kiss until we’re breathless. He finally lifts his mouth to trail kisses down my neck to the sensitive pulse point at the base of my throat. I shiver, and he chuckles quietly. But when he keeps moving lower, I tense.

He pauses and pulls back. “What’s wrong?”

I just wish he’d bypass my chest altogether.

When I don’t answer, he lies down beside me on his side, his head propped on his hand. “Hey, talk to me.”

“I just – I’d prefer it if you didn’t touch my chest.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Molly, your chest is part of your body, and right now, I want to explore every inch of it.” He lays his free hand in the center of my chest, his fingers splayed. “I want to be able to touch you, all of you. I don’t want areas that are off limits.”

And then, to prove his point, he traces the path of one scar with the tip of his index finger. Then he skims past my sternum and traces the scar on the other side.

Gently, he explores the dips and valleys on my chest, and I shudder from the onslaught of unfamiliar sensations. No one has touched my chest except for me, and the sensations are overwhelming.

“Jamie – ”

“Can you feel me touching you?”

I shiver. “Yes.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No. It just feels… weird. Some parts are still numb. Others are overly sensitized.”

I close my eyes when I feel the sting of tears forming and my throat tightening up. His touch is so gentle, so reverent as he explores every inch of my chest. Todd was repulsed by the way I look.

I cry out when he gently kisses the center of one of the depressions. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he says. “I wish I’d been there to help you through it.”

My throat closes painfully, and I squeeze my burning eyes shut. I don’t even realize I’m crying until he croons, “Shh… don’t cry.” He brushes the tears from my cheek. “Everything’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I’m sorry.” My voice cracks. “I didn’t mean to spoil tonight.”

“You didn’t spoil anything.”

“It’s just…” I stop and take a deep, shaky breath. “I was so sure no one would ever want me again.”

He grips my chin and turns my face toward his. “I guess you were wrong.” And then he kisses me, his lips steadying mine, our kiss flavored by the salt of my tears.

Jamie shifts lower on the bed, kissing his way down my abdomen, past my quivering belly. He buries his nose in the cloud of curls between my legs, and his hot breath there is shocking.

I reach down and nudge him back. “Jamie – ”

He lifts his face. “What?”

“What are you doing?”

The expression on his face nearly reduces me to tears of laughter. “Really? You have to ask?”

I laugh. “I know what you’re doing, silly. Just not why.”

He slides between my legs and uses his broad shoulders to nudge my thighs apart.

“Jamie….”

“Relax.”

“That’s easy for you to say. I can’t just rela – ”

When his hot tongue flicks my clitoris, I screech and buck my hips off the mattress. I’m already sensitive and primed from the orgasm he gave me in the shower. He uses his hands to pull me back down, and then he traps my thighs open with his arms.

He lifts his head to me, and I know he’s not actually looking at me, but still I feel the weight of his expression. “Lie still.”

“You just love pushing my boundaries, don’t you?”

He laughs. “Maybe just a little bit. But you push mine, too.” He raises his eyebrows, and I get the point.

His glasses. Yeah, I guess I do push his boundaries too. So, I lie back down and close my eyes, resigning myself to this physical torture.

When his tongue returns to my clit, I gasp, sucking in a deep breath. The sensation is too much! I’m not used to this. Todd never went down on me, and only one boy I dated briefly in college did. It makes me nervous. And the pleasure is so intense, it’s hard to relax.

 I feel his finger at my opening, testing the wetness there. He dips his finger inside, then out again. With each foray, his finger slips deeper inside me, stroking me methodically, making me squirm. My attention switches from his tongue on my clit to his finger deep inside me. He has no trouble finding the sweet spot, and he works that spot, rubbing me over and over, until suddenly something’s happening all over again. I feel an impending wave deep inside me, swelling like a tsunami that’s growing in intensity.

I can’t contain the whimpers and high-pitched keening sounds coming out of me. Afraid that someone in the house will overhear me, I grab the pillow beside me and press it to my face to muffle the sounds. When the wave detonates like a bomb deep inside me, I cry out into the pillow, shuddering from the impact.

I can feel Jamie crawling up the bed, and a moment later the pillow is pried out of my hands. Then he lies next to me and rolls me into his arms. I’m breathing like I just ran a marathon.

Jamie kisses my forehead. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure.”

He laughs.

“I just wasn’t… prepared for that,” I say, breathless. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”

“What could be like that?” he says.

I’m thirty-five years old, and I really don’t want to confess that I’ve never had an orgasm during sex before. Oh, sure, I’ve given myself plenty of orgasms in the privacy of my own bed, but no one’s ever given me one before. And two of them in a span of ten minutes? Never.

“You’ve never come before?” he says, sounding shocked.

“Not with a partner, no. And never twice.”

He grabs the sheet from the foot of the bed and wipes his beard, then he crawls over me, caging me in. I gaze up into his face, amazed at how beautiful he is. He takes my breath away. When lowers his head to kiss me, I taste myself on his lips, and while I feel like I should be embarrassed, I find it secretly thrilling… like I’ve marked him somehow as my own. Jamie McIntyre is wearing my scent on his skin. He smells like me. Dear God.

Suddenly, all I can think about is having him inside me. I reach for his erection, wrapping my fingers around his heated thickness. “I want you. Inside me.”

His brow furrows. “Are you sure? We don’t have to – ”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Jamie reaches for the nightstand table and locates the strip of condoms. He sits back on his heels and tears open a packet, then rolls it onto his erection. I can’t help watching, fascinated by the size of him. Fully erect, he’s much bigger than I imagined. I’m not sure how that’s going to fit inside me.

When he comes over me, he reaches between my legs and nudges them apart, then settles between them, nestling his hips between my thighs. I can feel his fingers between my legs as he guides himself to my opening.

My legs are trembling when he says, “Just relax.”

As he nudges the head of his penis inside me, I can feel my body opening to him. I’m already so soft and wet there – now I know why he went down on me. It was to make sure I was really soft and wet, ready to take him.

I gasp as he slowly presses inward, the big head of his cock pressing inexorably deeper, one centimeter at a time. He rocks forward a bit, then pulls back and then sinks further, repeating this gentle rocking motion until he’s finally seated all the way. His movements are controlled and measured, but even so, his body’s trembling same as mine.

If he hasn’t been with someone since his accident, it’s been at least several years for him. His body must be on sensory overload same as mine.

I suck in a shaky breath when he’s in. It doesn’t hurt, exactly, but I can tell my body’s being stretched to its limits.

He dips his head and finds my mouth, giving me a gentle kiss. “Okay?”

“Yes,” I breathe.

He begins moving, so slowly at first, pulling all the way out and then sinking back in. He’s holding himself up so that he doesn’t crush me, his arm muscles taut and bulging, and I can feel the tremors in them shaking the mattress.

I slip my hands up his arms, stroking him gently, my fingers following the contours of his muscles and bones. There’s so much strength in these arms, so much power, and yet so much gentleness too. When he groans, I feel the vibration in my bones.

Jamie’s a walking contradiction. He can be so gentle, and yet I know what he’s capable of. I saw him just this evening in hand-to-hand combat, and it was brutal. I’ve read so many stories about SEALs and their physical capabilities and stamina, and it’s nothing short of awe inspiring. To have all that strength and intensity focused on me is humbling.

After shifting his weight to his elbows, he reaches for my hands and links our fingers together, clasping our hands tightly and pressing them into the pillow on either side of my head. He’s got me completely caged in, and I’ve never in my life felt so safe, so sheltered. Right now, I feel like nothing and no one can touch us. Not Todd, not my own insecurities, nothing. Even Jamie’s blindness no longer seems very significant, as he’s proven over and over how capable he is in spite of his lack of sight.

Jamie’s seals his lips to mine, drinking in my cries and my gasps as I respond to each thrust of his body. As my body makes way for him, I begin to relax and enjoy the feel of him surging inside me. With each thrust, his length strokes me inside, stirring up all kinds of delicious sensations. My body is still tingling from my orgasm, and I can tell he’s close to his. His breathing gets heavier with each thrust, and he squeezes my hands harder. I look up at him, and the grimace on his face steals my breath. His jaw is tightly clenched as are his eyelids, and he’s gritting his teeth. I get the impression he’s trying to hang on as long as he can. If it’s been a while for him, too, then I’m sure he’s desperate to release.

On reflex, I tighten my muscles on him as he surges inside. He moans in response, and then his entire body tenses. He throws his head back, arching his taut neck muscles, and cries out in agonizing pleasure.

As his thrusts slow with each residual pulse of heat from his cock, I pull my hands free and gently stroke his back, comforting him as his body is wracked with tremors. He tucks his face in the crook on my neck, his breath hot and heavy, and then kisses my shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he says, his voice low and rough.

He pulls out gently, then rolls to his side to face me. His short hair is tousled and damp from the shower. I reach up to brush it out of his eyes.

“I’m wonderful,” I say, watching his expression as he body comes down from the high. “Are you okay?”

He laughs. “At least I didn’t embarrass myself this first time. I think I lasted at least five minutes.”

He leans down to find my mouth and kisses me gently. “I didn’t hurt you?”

“No.” At least not more than should have been expected. “I’m fine. In fact, I’m better than fine.”

Jamie takes care of the condom and heads to the bathroom to dispose of it. Then he returns to bed and crawls in beside me, pulling the sheet and the comforter up to cover us.

“I need a minute,” I tell him, extricating myself from the bedding. I head into the bathroom to pee and clean up. I find several packages of new toothbrushes into the cabinet, so I brush my teeth. My hair is already beyond help, and my lips are red and swollen. There are love bites on my neck and shoulder. I look well loved, and that makes me smile. I never expected to find myself in this place again.

I have nothing to wear to bed, and Jamie’s naked, so I guess it doesn’t matter. I head back to bed and climb in beside him.

“Come here,” he says, pulling me into his arms.

He lies on his back and draws me close, so that I’m resting my head in the crook of his shoulder. His arm is around me and he strokes my back lightly, his fingers sliding up and down my spine. His other hand comes around me to join the first, sliding down to palm my butt cheek.

I shiver.

“You’re going to stay all night, right?” he says.

I yawn. “Yes. I’ll stay.”

“Good.” He tightens his hold on me. “I want to wake up with you in the morning and do this again.”

We lie there together, quiet and peaceful. My body is still quaking from my orgasm and from the feel of his body surging into mine. I imagine he’s feeling something very similar.

After a while, I ask him the question that’s been in my mind for a long while now. “Why me?”

“Hmm?” He sounds half asleep.

“I’m just wondering why you’re interested in me. Usually, a guy meets a woman, he likes how she looks, and he becomes interested in her. But you can’t see me. Oh, sure, you have a general description of what I look like, but it’s got to be vague in your head. I don’t even have breasts to attract you.”

He chuckles and strokes my butt cheek. “Told you, I’m an ass man. You have a fine ass.”

“I have a big ass, you mean.” I laugh. “I’m serious. Why me?”

He’s quiet for a long while, and I start to wonder if he just doesn’t have an answer or if, more likely, he’s dozed off. Then he sighs.

“I’ve asked myself that a million times, and I’m not sure how to answer it, but I’ll try.” He pauses again, this time brushing my hair back from my hot face, tucking the strands behind my ear.

“I like what you do to my senses,” he says. “I experience the world differently now than I did before. Before, it was a pretty smile that caught my attention. Now, it’s different. My other senses have taken over – sound, smell, feel.” He runs the tip of one finger down the side of my face, following the curve of my cheekbone to my jawline, then down my throat. “I like who you are. I like how I feel when I’m with you. You’re a good person, kind, intelligent, courageous, creative, talented. But it’s also how you make me feel when I’m with you.”

“And how is that?”

“You make me feel good.” He brushes his lips against my temple, dropping a light kiss. “When I’m with you, it’s like you’re a magnet, drawing me in. When I’m away from you, I wonder when I’ll see you again. When I’m with you, I don’t want to leave. When I met you, it was like my body reawakened from a long sleep. It was like something inside of you called to something inside of me.”

He sighs heavily and tightens his hold on me. “Does that sound crazy?”

“No.”

“Good. Because the something inside of me doesn’t want to let go of the something inside of you.”

I shiver when I feel his lips in my hair at the back of my neck. He’s so tactile, and my body acts like it can’t get enough of the touching. I lay my hand over his and stroke my fingertip along the path of a thick vein.

I’m starving for the affection he’s giving me, but I don’t want to mislead him. As much as I care about him, I never want to risk him getting hurt. And knowing how well Todd can work the system, I’m afraid he’ll be out on bail any time. In fact, he might already be out. He’s going to be furious with me for calling the police on him, and if Todd finds out Jamie was involved in that decision, he’ll retaliate.

“I met Shane’s attorney this afternoon. Do you think he would check on Todd’s status for me?”

“Troy’s staying overnight. We can ask him to look into it first thing in the morning.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about Todd, okay? I’ll take care of him.”