Shani
My ex was a little appalled I didn’t have a business plan, but since I’d bootstrapped the business, I claimed it wasn’t necessary. He disagreed, and since he’d agreed to help me out without collecting a paycheck, I had to let him do this his way.
“Okay, what do you need to know?” I asked, watching him boot up his laptop.
He was sitting behind my desk, where he’d been going through my files to determine how profitable the business was. It was crazy that I’d turned everything over to him, including confidential files and passwords, without thinking twice. I wouldn’t have done that with anyone else. I guess I still trusted this guy even more than I realized.
“I’m going to use our old business plan from the club as a template,” he explained, barely glancing up. “Obviously yours will differ a lot, but it’ll give us something to start with.”
He was wearing faded jeans, black boots, and a long-sleeved black T-shirt pushed back to reveal powerful forearms. Judging by his physique, he still spent a lot of time in the gym.
He grinned when he caught me staring at him. “I know I’m nice to look at, but can we stay focused on business here?”
“You’re such an ass,” I grumbled, embarrassed at being caught ogling him.
He connected my printer to his computer and printed a few pages. I tried not to check out his ass when he got up to cross the room, but after last night, I was feeling all hot and bothered. If what I’d read was true and you could conceive the day before or after ovulation, maybe I should suggest we go a few more rounds today. As an insurance policy. Not because I was dying to get into his pants again.
He sat down beside me, pulling his chair a little closer to mine. “I’ll need a list of your expenses, including payroll.”
“Sure.” I tried not to breathe because he was wearing that spicy cologne I loved. The same one I’d bought him for his birthday one year.
“And we’ll need to talk about your long-range goals. The five-year plan.” He looked up at me, his eyes drifting to my lips. “You plan to, uh, add any more employees?”
“Maybe.” Oh God, my voice sounded breathy. He must have known how much I wanted him.
“A lot will depend on your…” He muttered a curse as he grabbed the back of my head, crushing my mouth under his.
No one else was in the office, but my door wasn’t locked and my girls often popped in after an assignment to check in with me. They knew I worked seven days a week, so the fact it was a weekend meant nothing. I pressed my palm into his chest and jumped up. He watched me turn the lock before I slowly unbuttoned my denim shirt.
“What’re you doing?” he asked, his smirk giving him away. “I thought we were supposed to be working?”
He knew how hard it was for me to keep my hands off him, the conceited SOB.
“I was just thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea for us to try again,” I said, tossing my shirt over the back of the chair. I reached for the waistband of my black leggings and peeled them off, along with my tall black boots and socks. I was left with only a steel-gray bra with matching panties. I could tell he liked what he was saw by the way his eyes devoured me. “You know, in case it didn’t take last night. The day after ovulation can be a good time to get pregnant too.”
He chuckled as he moved to sit on the edge of my desk. “Never thought hearing that would turn me on, but it does.”
“Only because you know it means you’re gonna get some.” I moved between his legs, lifting his T-shirt over his head.
“Yeah, that might have something to do with it. Gotta admit, this baby-making thing is fun.”
“Oh yeah?” I reached for his belt buckle. “I’m glad to hear you say that, since if it doesn’t take this month, we might have to do it again next month and the month after that.”
He framed my face with his hands, bringing me in for a long hot kiss. “Guess it helps that I’m attracted to you then, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said, opening his jeans. “It would really suck to take on a project like this with someone who didn’t do it for you.”
“You’ve always done it for me.” His tone was serious as his lips moved along my jaw. “Since the first time I saw you.”
“You’re not the only one.” I was practically panting as I tugged off his jeans and boxers. “That night, after I left your club the first time, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” I leaned in, wrapping my arms around his neck as my hot breath teased his ear. “I got off that night thinking about you.”
He dropped his head back as my tongue skated over his neck, and I nibbled as I went.
“And you’re just telling me this now?” His gaze was hungry as I dropped to my knees in front of him.
I didn’t know why I was confiding in him now when I’d been too guarded to before. Maybe there was something about trying to get pregnant that made a woman feel more vulnerable, like her partner held her heart in his hands.
I closed my lips around his shaft, humming as I took him deep. Curses fell from his lips as his hands fisted in my hair. I’d always been the kind of girl to give as good as I got, and this was no exception. I wasn’t shy about taking what I wanted, and I wanted him. In my mouth. Inside me. His tongue dueling with mine while I rode him. I wanted it all.
“Jesus, Shan.” His breath was coming hard and fast and I could tell he was barely hanging on.
I stood, trading places with him so my ass was planted firmly on the edge of the desk instead of his. “As much as I’d love to finish you off that way, that wouldn’t help us achieve our objective, now would it?”
His smirk was dirty as he grabbed my hips, positioning me right where he wanted me. “Right. I almost forgot our end goal. Not like we’re doing this for fun, right?”
“Right.” I could barely keep my eyes open, especially when he breached my opening, taking me hard and deep without warning.
His palms rested against my knees as he pushed my legs back, his gaze penetrating me along with his body. I braced my hands behind me on the desk, taking his powerful thrusts. This kind of sex with West I could handle. It was the slow and gentle that nearly did me in and made me think all kinds of crazy shit… like how cool it would be to have him there for midnight feedings or to dry my tears when I swore I was going to die from exhaustion. Not that I was a crier. He’d never seen me cry. And he never would.
“So fucking sexy,” he said, watching my tits bounce as his hand disappeared between my thighs.
I let my head fall back, my weight resting on my forearms as I concentrated all of my attention on the madness building between my legs. It was dizzying, the pleasure he brought me. It swirled in my core, spreading out to my limbs in the form of tingles that morphed into heat. My cry was raw and primal, coming from somewhere deep inside me as I let myself go while he did the same.
I felt him pulsing inside me, the fire licking my insides as I imagined him filling me, giving me the best gift a man could give a woman desperate for a baby.
Our expressions were both somber when he finally drew me close, resting my forehead against his shoulder while his hand closed around the back of my neck.
“Thank you for doing this for me,” I whispered before tasting his salty skin. “Not just the baby thing. All of it. After the way I ended things, you sure as hell don’t owe me anything.”
Yet he was here, trying to make my life better and give me everything I’d always wanted. And I didn’t know what to do with that truth. I wasn’t used to people doing things for me. I’d survived by being independent and strong, yet I was asking him for something huge. It was scary and kind of liberating at the same time. It made me feel less alone.
“You’re not the only one who gets something out of this, beautiful. I do too.” He pulled back, looking at me. “I hope she has your eyes.”
If I was a crier, that might have been the hot burn of tears I felt sting my eyes, but since I wasn’t, it must have been allergies.
“How do you know it’ll be a girl?” My voice was low, as though we were sharing a precious secret.
“I hope it will.”
“Really?” My hands coasted over his abs, because really, there was no way to stand this close to the man and not feel him up. “I thought most guys hoped for sons.”
“I’d like that too,” he said, disarming me with a sexy grin. “Maybe one of each?”
I laughed, slapping his rock-hard chest. “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you? What makes you so sure we’ll still like each other after the first one?”
“Is that what you’re afraid of?” he asked, his voice painfully soft. “That we’ll end up hating each other like your parents did? Is that why you were afraid to move in with me when I asked?”
He knew too much. I could see it in his eyes, so there was no point lying. “I guess.”
“It’s not like that for everyone, you know. My parents were in love ‘til the day my mother died.”
“Lucky you,” I muttered, feeling even more exposed since we were having this intimate conversation while buck naked. “Most people can’t say that.”
“Would you honestly rather live the rest of your life alone than take a chance that maybe you could be one of the lucky ones?”
“Yes.” My answer was automatic. I didn’t even have to think about it. But the aftereffects burned worse than whisky. I didn’t want to be a cynical bitch. Circumstances beyond my control had made me who I was.
“Why?” There was pain in his blue eyes.
I knew he hurt for me, but I didn’t want his sympathy. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to feel sorry for me. I wanted his respect and admiration, not his pity. Never his pity.
I fastened my bra and reached past him for my shirt. I slipped my arms through it, refusing to look at him as I muttered, “Some people get their happy endings and some people don’t, West. It’s cool. I know which camp I fall into. I’m no Cinder-fucking-rella, okay?”
I was getting pissed, and I didn’t want to be angry. Anger meant something unwanted was bubbling up inside me, like pain or disappointment or fear. I couldn’t have that.
“What are you so afraid of?” He placed my hand on his chest. “You know me. You know I’d never hurt you.”
“Not intentionally.” Feeling I had to walk away from him, like I had no other choice, hurt like a son of a bitch. I didn’t think I could go through that again. “But sometimes we hurt people without meaning to.”
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, seeming genuinely concerned. He was frowning, waiting for me to explain, but I couldn’t let myself go there. “Tell me.”
“I’ve never felt like that before,” I admitted. I bent to reach for my panties, tossing him his shirt in the process. We seriously had to put on some clothes if he expected me to string two words together. “It was hard, being like that with you.”
He followed my lead and started dressing. “Like what?”
“Vulnerable.”
His laugh was more of bark of derision. “You vulnerable? Be serious, baby.”
“I am being serious.”
He may not have seen that side of me, because I wouldn’t let him, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t close to the surface. Hell, it became impossible for me to bury those feelings toward the end of our relationship. That was why I finally broke up with him. Living in a constant state of fear, believing I could lose him any day, had been slowly killing me.
“You saw more of me than anyone ever has, West.”
“You mean that?” he asked, curling his hand around my cheek, refusing to let me look away.
“Yes.”
He stole my breath as he kissed my forehead. “In that case, thank you.”