Making Amends

The past few days have been great. Visitors were kept at a minimum, Sawyer stayed true to his word and kept the “non-essentials” in check. Noah was having fewer episodes of dizziness and stayed awake for longer periods of time. Light still bothered him some, as well as loud noises, but we were all able to talk at a normal volume, including him. Last night, he even sat in bed and lightly strummed his guitar. He’s been quiet and contemplative, but he never wants me to leave his side, either—almost like he’s afraid I’m going to disappear into thin air. This morning, however, I awoke to an empty bed, which is exactly why I’m freaking out right now. I’ve checked the garage, his office, our room, the front and back of the house, and I can’t find him anywhere. It’s raining outside, so I know he’s not at the beach.

“Jesus, Princess, what’s got your panties in a wad?” Sawyer asks as he walks out of the pantry with a pack of Pop-Tarts.

“Noah! Have you seen him? I can’t find him anywhere!”

He places his food on the counter and looks up at me. “What do you mean can’t find him?”

I throw my hands up in frustration. “Exactly that. I woke up and he was gone. No note, nothing. There’s no trace of him in this house. His wallet and keys are gone off the dresser. Where would he go, Sawyer?” Tears are building, and I’m trying to blink them back but it’s no use. I’m scared.

Sawyer is scanning through his messages, typing furiously on his phone. Belle and Darren shuffle out of their room sleepily to see what the commotion is all about.

“What’s wrong, Mel?” Belle asks softly as she wipes my tears away.

“Noah’s missing,” Sawyer snaps back angrily. “Wyatt and Noah aren’t answering their texts.” He puts his phone to his ear and makes a call. “Bethie … do you know where Wyatt is? Because him and Noah aren’t answering their phones or their texts and Noah is missing. Yeah … okay, thanks. I’ll let you know if they call me, too.” He slams his phone onto the counter, his frantic eyes meeting mine. “She hasn’t heard from either of them, but she’s going to try to reach them.”

“Why would he disappear?” Squeezing Belle’s hand, she winces. “Sorry, Belle.”

With a smile, she replies, “It’s okay, babe. Just remember this when I’m in labor and I need your hand.” My hand drops to her belly and I rub it softly. She’s got the tiniest little pooch, probably not even noticeable to anyone else except maybe Darren. Knowing the little peanut in there is growing safely away from her Auntie Mel’s freak out calms me down a bit.

“When was the last time you saw him? Did he say anything strange?” All eyes are on me as I think about Sawyer’s questions.

“We fell asleep in each other’s arms last night, and he didn’t say anything out of the ordinary. In fact, he was even playing his guitar last night.”

With a frustrated groan, Sawyer picks up his phone again. “Mac, I need you to track Wyatt and Noah’s phones. Target their GPS and let me know where they are ASAP. I’m sorry to interrupt your leave, but we really need your help with this … Yeah … Thanks, man.”

Belle rubs my arm softly. “I’m sure everything is fine, Mel. He probably just wanted to get some air and he and Wyatt took a drive.”

“But why wouldn’t he leave a note? Or text me? Or answer my calls?”

“I don’t know, babe, but I’m sure he has a reason. Trust him. He’s never given you a reason not to.”

Belle’s reply sets me off. “You think this is about trust? I’m worried about him, Belle! Until yesterday, he almost fell over every time he stood up and now he’s just out for a joyride? I don’t buy it. Something’s not right here.”

“I’m with Princess. This isn’t sitting right with me, either. Noah’s more responsible than this. But Wyatt is a different fucking story. He’d take any of Noah’s secrets to the grave if Noah asked him to.” Sawyer is cut off by his ringing phone, which he promptly answers. “What did you find?” He’s quiet for a minute and then his expression becomes furious. “Unfuckingbelievable. Yeah, I got it … No, it’s not necessary. If he doesn’t come back in an hour or two, I’ll have you check it out. Thanks.”

Sawyer grips the counter and blows out a breath before speaking. “They’re at a shopping center, both phones pinged to the same location. Only Noah would fucking get up and go Christmas shopping this early in the morning without saying a word.” Sawyer grabs his Pop-Tarts and his coffee and storms off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

“You okay, Mel?” Darren asks as he wraps his arm around Belle.

“Yeah … sure. I’m sorry I snapped at you, Belle. I didn’t mean it.”

She looks up at me and shrugs “It’s okay. I could have worded it better. I know Noah isn’t like Eli, and I don’t think he ever will be. Maybe he wanted to get you a gift and thought he’d be back sooner.”

“Maybe. I’m going to go take a shower. You guys should go back to sleep. I’m sorry for waking you up like that.”

After letting my frustrated tears pour out into the shower, I throw on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. I’m so emotional since the accident and I can’t shake it. I’m hoping it’s just the pain medication setting my moods off track and it’s not some sort of traumatic after-effect of what happened. Maybe I should make an appointment with the therapist just to be sure. If it doesn’t go away after I stop taking the medication, I will.

The house is quiet once again, and I hesitate before knocking on Sawyer’s door. The sounds of his guitar greet my ears and it’s the sweetest music. He’s singing along to the music, but I can’t hear the words, which is a shame; Sawyer is one of the most talented singers I’ve ever heard, even if he spent the last nine years avoiding showing off how beautiful his voice can be. This acoustic album really highlights his voice. It would keep him in the business for decades to come if he would allow himself to follow a different path. Noah could be right there with him, too. Where Noah has a raspier effect like Bob Dylan, Sawyer has a smooth flow like Eric Clapton. Together they’re a powerhouse but apart they could be legends in their own right.

Finally, I stop eavesdropping and knock on his door. “Come in,” he answers immediately, smiling when he sees me. His smile, when it’s genuine and not sinful it’s a sight for sore eyes. “Hey, Princess, what can I do for you?”

Holding up the small bag of medical supplies, I ask for his help. “I was hoping you could help out a damsel in distress?”

Laughing, he lays his guitar down on his bed and stands up, motioning for me to sit down. “Of course. I was raised to never leave a damsel in distress. Any news from Noah yet?” he asks as he spreads the antibiotic ointment over my wound. It’s slowly getting better but still stings. I think the pain is mostly from the muscle bruising now.

“Nope, nothing. And it really pisses me off. I’ve been with him night and day since before Thanksgiving and he just disappears as if everything is back to being okay? I’m actually thinking about getting a hotel until we go back on tour.”

As Sawyer wraps the bandage around my arm, he remains quiet. After he tapes it down, he takes a seat next to me on the bed. “Look, Princess, I know you’re pissed and you’ve got every right to be. I don’t know what crawled up Noah’s ass today, but I do know he loves you more than anything and if you leave he’ll be devastated. Give him a chance to explain before you do something drastic, okay?”

He’s so sweet when he’s sticking up for his brother; it makes me feel like a complete bitch. “I’ll try. What were you playing before? It sounded great.”

Sawyer rolls his eyes at me. “You would think that since I was playing something that isn’t mine. It was “So” by Ed Sheeran.”

“I love him, he’s so talented. Will you play it for me?”

Sawyer is suddenly blushing, and I want to tease him about it, but for some reason I have the feeling this is a big deal for him. “I don’t typically do solo performances for people, especially on demand.”

“Oh, come on. You sing in front of me on the bus every day while you guys are practicing.”

“Yeah, but that’s group rehearsal. Regardless of what you may think, I’m not comfortable going solo. The guys are kind of my buffers in a way.”

Wow … that’s different.

“So what about for your girlfriends? You don’t sing for them, either?”

With a slight shake of his head, Sawyer leans back on his elbows while I scoot back up against his headboard so I can see his face. “I’ve never had any.”

“Any what?” He can’t mean girlfriends.

“Girlfriends.” He’s blushing again, and there are so many questions I want to ask him.

“Never, Sawyer? Why?” My heart aches for him. Why is he so closed off?

“This is just two friends talking, right? Not author and subject?”

“Of course. Even when I write the book you guys are all going to have a final say. I’d never put something in it you didn’t want the world to know. I know what that’s like, Sawyer, it happened to my parents all the time. Anything you tell me, that any of you tell me, is safe with me. I promise.”

He squeezes my ankle, almost as if reassuring himself.

“It’s not that big of a deal. In high school, I wasn’t worried about having a serious girlfriend. I was into my music. There were always going to be girls, but music felt like a limited opportunity for some reason. And where there are boys in a band there are girls offering up their virtue, so I wasn’t lacking in opportunities for sex.”

I laugh at his words because no matter the age, groupies are all the same. He cracks a smile, probably relieved I’m laughing and not lecturing him.

“Then we got signed and there was no time and to be honest … no motivation to find just one girl to settle with. I mean, I saw Wyatt and Anna and how solid their relationship was. I wasn’t going to find something like that on the road. Something like what my parents have, or Diane and Rob.”

“Is that what you want? Something solid like that?”

Trailing his fingers down my foot, he sits up and props himself next to me. “Someday, sure. I thought maybe I could have that with Marilyn, I really did have feelings for her. After all that went down, I guess you could say I lost my faith I’d find a good woman out there at all while I was involved with this industry. She was our friend and she still did that to us … imagine what a groupie would do.”

This is one of the best conversations we’ve ever had; I’m loving the way he’s opening himself up to me. “Sawyer, you have to know all women aren’t like that. I understand your fears, I swear I do. I’ve seen those girls, and women, my entire life. But there are good women out there and you’ll find yours, I promise.”

“I know. I’ve realized that more and more lately. Seeing Darren with Belle, and you with Noah, it gives me hope. I’m still young and I’ll never have any regrets some people have about not doing all the fun things they wanted to in their teenage years and beyond. I’m not even thirty and if I died tomorrow I’d have few, if any, regrets. I’m not in a place where I want a wife and kids anyway.”

My gaze locks onto his, as he tugs that damn lip ring into his mouth. I swear that’s my biggest weakness with him. “What do you want, Sawyer?”

He releases his lip but not his lock on my eyes. For a moment, I’m certain he’s going to confess his deepest desires, but he averts his gaze at the last second instead. “To finish the tour and readjust to life. Once I figure out who I am outside of BAD, maybe I’ll have a better idea about what or who I want in my future.”

“I get that. Finding normal after living years of an unconventional life isn’t easy. It took me a long time to adjust after everything with my parents. You’ll get there, Sawyer, and I’ll help you however I can.” He looks leery, and it annoys me. “What? You don’t believe me?”

 

“Nah, I believe you, Princess, but this,” he says, pointing between the two of us, “is new to me. I’ve got acquaintances in this business but I haven’t made any new friends since junior high. You’re the first in a long time, and I guess I need to get used to that.”

With a sigh, I lean my head on his shoulder. “You and me both. My list of friends consists of Belle, Eli, and you guys. I like it that way, though.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t care about the quantity of people in my life, only the quality of them, and you guys are top notch. Plus, it’s nice to be surrounded by people who understand what you’ve gone through. I wasn’t the famous one, but I get it, Sawyer. The fans, the traveling, the constant need for security … it’s the price you pay for your craft. As much as you love your fans, it would be nice if you could just go to the movies alone one day, right?”

He leans his head against mine and we stay like that for a few minutes. When he finally answers, it’s with a hint of sadness. “You’re exactly right. Shopping, dinner, movies, none of that is something I can just do anymore. Our fans enable us to have this lifestyle but the price we pay for it is high. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, and if everyone wasn’t ready to settle down I’d keep going. But it gets to me sometimes.”

“Any thoughts for what you might do after?”

We both lean back against the headboard. Even though we’re friends, sometimes I’m afraid we’re a little too close for comfort, too.

“Nope … well, yeah … lots of ideas. I’m going to enjoy some down time. Maybe write some music. I could go into songwriting for others, or maybe producing. I’m definitely taking Saylor and Emme to Disneyland often. I can’t fucking wait for that, actually. One of the perks of being home will be spending time with my family.”

Family—there’s that word again. Something everyone around me has except for me.

“You miss yours, don’t you?” I feel like his green eyes can see right into my soul. It must be a Weston brother superpower.

“I do, but my family was never conventional. I learned a long time ago family is who you decide it is, not who God assigns you to. Belle, Eli, Veronica, you guys, that’s my family. My parents and I … we didn’t have what your family does. There was no hugging like crazy, phone calls all the time, inside jokes, we were more of a … I’ll-see-you-when-I-see-you crew.”

“That’s sad,” he replies softly.

“Not necessarily. To you, maybe, because you have this huge, boisterous, family. I see the difference now, but back then I didn’t know any different, so I loved them for what they were.”

He grabs my hand and squeezes it gently. “You’re in for it now, Princess. There’s no low key with our family. Get ready to be part of loud and boisterous.”

“Am I interrupting something?” Noah and Wyatt are standing in the doorway, their eyes locked on our hands. Sawyer drops mine like a hot potato, but I have nothing to be ashamed of.

“Nope, you’re not interrupting a thing. I was just keeping Princess company since she’s been freaking out the last few hours and threatening to go to a hotel. Maybe next time you should let the people who care about you know when you’re going to fucking disappear so we don’t all worry someone kidnapped you.”

Sawyer’s letting his anger shine; I follow suit. “Or, you know, so we don’t think you dropped dead somewhere after getting dizzy and cracking your head open. God, Noah, how inconsiderate could you possibly be? I’ve been calling and texting you for hours!”

Noah is shooting daggers at Sawyer; it’s a bit disconcerting. “Mel, can I talk to you alone please?” I look back and forth between the two of them, but Sawyer only shrugs and picks up his guitar again. “Please, Mel, we need to talk.”

I turn around and give Sawyer a hug. “Thanks for the pep talk and for changing my bandage.”

“Anytime, Princess.”

When I reach the door, Wyatt steps aside as Noah places his hand on my lower back and leads me into his room. I know what he’s doing. He’s staking his claim on me in front of Sawyer and I’ve had about enough of him being jealous of his brother. I take the chair far across the room so he can’t sit next to me. “Well? Talk, Noah, I’m here.”

“Were you really going to leave?”

He disappears all day and that’s what he wants to ask me? “Still might, so you better make this good.”

With a frustrated sigh, he leans against the floor-to-ceiling window in front of me, blocking my view. The handle to the bedroom door jiggles followed by pounding on the door. “Noah! Open this door now!” Sawyer is screaming outside while Noah holds his head in his hands for a second before the pounding begins again. “I’m not kidding, Noah, open the fucking door!”

Noah walks calmly to the door and talks through it. “Sawyer, I know why you’re mad. I need to talk to Mel first and then I’ll come talk to you.”

“I can’t believe you did this! What in the world were you thinking?” Sawyer is seething; I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so angry. “Fine, but come find me as soon as you’re finished.”

“I will,” Noah answers softly through the door. When he comes back to me, he drops to his knees in front of me looking absolutely defeated. “Don’t leave me, Mel. I need you.”

“Do you? Really, Noah, I’m curious because this morning I woke up to an empty bed, no note, no text, no call, no nothing. I was terrified. I searched this entire house from top to bottom, inside and out. I woke people up because I was losing my ever-loving mind. I’ve been by your side every day since Thanksgiving as I’ve lived out this nightmare with you. You don’t let me out of your sight, but then suddenly you wake up today and decide you don’t need me anymore and poof … you disappear?” I snap my fingers for an added flourish.

“What I had to do couldn’t wait, and I made sure I didn’t go alone. But I also knew everyone would be pissed at me. I figured asking for forgiveness was better than arguing beforehand.”

Fucking hell … doesn’t he know me at all? “Noah, there isn’t much I expect in a relationship, but honesty is important. I hate secrets, and I understand they sometimes should exist to protect people from things that would hurt them. But how would you know what you had to do would bother me? Where did you go, Noah?”

He drops his head into my lap momentarily and then looks up at me with puppy dog eyes. “I went to see Sara’s family.”

“Oh, Noah … why?” I ask, running my hands through his hair.

“There were things I had to know. Like, if she was always sick, and if they knew about her obsession with us. I just had so many questions and I knew if I told you, you would want to come, but …”

“But what, Noah? Talk to me. I’m not angry I just want to understand.”

He squeezes my thighs and continues, “She was their daughter and no matter how misguided, she had feelings for me. I didn’t want to disrespect whatever it was they knew to be true by bringing the woman I love into their home.”

“Come on, let’s go sit on the bed.” I pull his hands and he stands up, following me to the bed. “What happened?”

“Wyatt stayed in the car. I took him so if I felt bad I wouldn’t be alone and he could help me.” Good, at least he was thinking somewhat. “Her mom was a mess and she apologized over and over again about what happened. They knew she was sick. She’d had mental issues since she was a kid. She was on and off meds like crazy but since she was never consistent, nothing ever really worked.”

“Nobody monitored her?” I thought there were safeguards in place for people with mental illnesses.

“She lived at home. Her parents tried their best, but Sara was an adult … there wasn’t much they could do. I guess she never told them we broke up, so when she saw us together, and the news broke we were an item, they called her out on it. It must have set her off somehow.”

“Jesus, that’s so sad.”

Noah pulls me into his embrace and hugs tightly. Before he releases me, he kisses me tenderly. “I know you’re angry with me, Mel, and I’m truly sorry. I didn’t know if they were sane people, either. I wanted you safe, too.”

“So were they? Sane, I mean?”

With a nod, he answers, “Yeah, they’re just two heartbroken people. Sara was their only child. They understand why she was killed and they don’t have any ill will. They’re old, way older than my parents, and her dad is in a wheelchair. It didn’t seem like they have much, but what they do have is well-loved and taken care of. Or so it seemed.”

He yawns. I can only imagine how tired he is; this is the most he’s been up and about in almost a week.

“Were you there a long time?”

“Long enough. About two hours, I guess. Look, I told Wyatt if Sawyer pressed the issue he didn’t have to lie for me. I’m sure what I’m about to tell you is why Sawyer is losing his shit. I asked when Sara’s service was and they told me they weren’t having one. They wouldn’t tell me why, but I kept pressing them on it. Her mom broke into tears and admitted they couldn’t afford it. Sara was the only one who worked in the house. I’m sure they get disability or Social Security or something but still …”

“How much did you give them?” This beautiful man has a heart like nothing I’ve ever seen before. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me that. It’s not really any of my business.”

“Not enough to bring back their daughter.” The effects of that night are going to stay with him for a long time. Maybe this will help him heal in his own way. “I gave them a hundred thousand dollars. I figured it’s more than enough to bury her and help ease the loss of income.”

“Noah, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I could never be mad at you for doing that, and I understand why you wanted to go without me. I just wish you would have texted me or left me a note. I was terrified.”

My sniffling brings his eyes back to mine, and he trails his thumb across my bottom lip. It feels like it’s been such a long time since we’ve been intimate.

“Her dad was so stoic. After I wrote them the check, he asked why I would do that. He seemed so skeptical of me. I suppose I can’t blame him.”

“What did you tell him?”

“A mixture of the truth and a lie but one they deserved to hear. I told them I loved Sara very much at one point in time and I was incredibly sad she’s gone. Then I explained had she come to me for help I would have tried to get it for her. So the least I could do is help them since she no longer can.” He hangs his head in sadness “I wish I had loved her, Mel. I wish I wouldn’t have had to lie to them about that, but Sara wasn’t really loveable … she was too busy looking out for herself. After seeing how bad off her parents are, though, I can even understand that, too.”

“You did a good thing today, Noah. I’m proud of you.”

“Really?” He’s shocked; I’m sad he thought I’d be anything but.

“Of course. Even if you didn’t love her, you cared about her once and that counts for something. I know this has been hard on you. It’s okay to grieve the loss of the girl you once cared for.”

Noah lays back and pulls me with him, his mouth meeting mine in a slow, tantalizing kiss. His love pours through with every stroke of his tongue, and I let the emotion fill me from head to toe. After he pulls away, he leans his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry, Mel, can you forgive me?”

My heart is still racing from our kiss when I give him my answer. “Under one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Don’t keep me in the dark again. I’m not just any girl, and I don’t freak out easily. I don’t need to keep you on a leash … I only need to know you’re safe. What would you have done if I’d disappeared without a trace?”

A dark look crosses his face and he shakes it off. “You don’t want to know. I promise from now on I’ll tell you before I leave the house.”

“Good. You should probably know that Sawyer had your phones traced. He’s pretty pissed you were at the mall.”

Noah swallows hard. “Yeah, about that … I wanted to get you a present, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for so it was kind of a bust.”

I trace a path down his cheek with my fingers before moving my hands back to play with his hair. “You should have come home and rested. I don’t need anything, Noah. Everything I could want is right here in this bed.” He moves his hand to my hip and pulls me close to him. My lady bits are screaming for attention but my mind is in control right now. “How much pain are you in today?”

The sheepish look on his face tells me all I need to know. “I know you felt like you had to do these things but all you have to do it take it easy. Your follow-up isn’t even until tomorrow, you shouldn’t be overdoing it.” I roll over and take a bottle of water from the nightstand and hand him a couple acetaminophen tablets.

After he takes the pills, he sits up and gets off the bed. “I promise I’ll take it easy after this until I see the doctor, but right now I need to talk to Sawyer. Alone.”

“Alright, I’ll be here. But he was really worried about you earlier, too. Try and remember how much he cares about you before you yell back at him.”

“I’ll do my best,” he replies, giving me one final kiss before he goes to talk to Sawyer. I’m so tired I decide to rest my eyes for a little bit while I wait for him to come back.

I wake up a few hours later with Noah asleep next to me. It’s early afternoon and I’m starving so I decide to go make us something to eat and surprise Noah with lunch in bed. When I make it into the kitchen, Sawyer is sitting at the table, alone, with a nearly empty bottle of scotch.

“I’m going to make some food. Do you want something to eat?” I ask, hoping he’ll take me up on it and sober up.

“Are you really not mad at him?” His words are slurred but his tone is filled with hurt.

“For which part?”

“Going over there, giving them money, not telling us he was doing something so epically stupid.” He refills his glass and downs it like water.

After opening the cabinet and pulling out a pan, I look around for what I need to make grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. “I’m glad he took Wyatt with him. I’m not happy he didn’t tell me first, but I understand it more now.” As the butter melts in the pan, I layer up the sandwiches on a plate next to the stove.

“What about the money?”

After popping the first sandwich in the melted butter, I turn around and cross my arms. “What about it? It’s his money, Sawyer, not mine.”

He eyes me up, assessing me, and I wonder what is going on in that head of his. I flip the sandwich then turn back around, waiting for him to say something. When I plate the first sandwich and put the second in the pan, he finally speaks. “It will be. Hell, it might as well be. You know he’s going to marry you.”

After grabbing a few paper towels from the roll, I walk the sandwich over to him. “Eat this, please, and I’ll keep talking to you.”

He looks down at it like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. Even though it’s hot, he devours the first half in three bites. Moaning in appreciation, he looks back to me as I flip the second sandwich.

“Look, Sawyer, I love your brother, but I’m not his keeper. The last thing on my mind is his money and what he does with it. I’ve got more than enough of my own to worry about his. But I do think what he chooses to do with it at times is admirable. A family lost their only child to mental illness, and their child also happens to be someone Noah used to care for. I don’t see anything wrong with him helping them out and easing his conscience.”

As I make the last sandwich, Sawyer puts his plate in the sink. “That was good, thank you. But you didn’t answer me … What are you going to do when he marries you?”

With a laugh, I turn around, my laughter coming to a halt when I see him looking at me like a wounded puppy. “You actually didn’t ask me anything about getting married. You pointed out he was going to marry me. I don’t know the answer to that, Sawyer. If … Someday, when … Noah and I choose to get married, that will be his choice. Personally, I love the random things he does to make other’s lives better because he’s fortunate enough to do so. If he’s financially stable enough to help others, more power to him.”

Sawyer rubs his head and blinks his eyes. I think he’s about to pass out for the rest of the day. “Do you think I should do that? Be more philanthropic?”

“Sawyer,” I say as I turn off the burner and plate the last sandwich. “You should do whatever makes you happy. Most days I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. The bulk of my parent’s money is sitting in an account accruing interest. The rest gets donated. That makes me feel better about the rest since I have no clue what to do with it.”

Placing my hand over his heart, I continue, “You have to do whatever makes your heart happy. Nothing else is worth it. You also have to stop comparing yourself to your brother. The two of you are completely different people, both equally amazing, both with huge hearts and an incredible love for family. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’ve got your whole life to do good things.”

His eyes are glassy and he flashes me one of those genuine smiles again, where his dimple shows and his childhood innocence shines through. “Thanks, Princess, I needed that. Tell Noah I’m sorry for fighting with him. I was just …”

“Worried,” I answer for him, but he shakes his head.

“Not only worried … I was being protective of you. I’m your friend and I don’t like to see you in pain, but he’s my brother and I should know better because Noah would rather die than hurt you. I’m going to go sleep this off. Thanks for the sandwich and the chat, Princess.”

When Sawyer walks away, I lean up against the counter and catch my breath. How can I feel so much for a man I’m not in a relationship with? Sawyer is a wonderful friend, but there’s so much of something between us lying beneath the surface. It’s not only attraction … it’s deeper than that. I wonder if it’s like a twin connection thing. I should do some research on twins and their spouses and see if I can find anything that alludes to what I’m feeling. It’s the only explanation I can come up with.

After looking through their cabinets, I finally find the tray I’m looking for in the pantry. I also find some Oreos and put them on the tray with the sandwiches and a soda for Noah and some iced tea for me. Noah is rubbing the sleep from his eyes when I walk in. Eyeing the food, he smiles.

“Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you’re being domestic?”

“Uh … no, I can’t say you have,” I answer with a laugh.

“Put the tray on the floor, Amelia.” Noah’s words are commanding, his eyes smoldering. I do as he says and he pulls me to him, placing my hand on his cock. “So fucking sexy,” he murmurs as he pulls me on top of him. His lips are pressed against my neck as he licks and sucks his way to the spot right below my ear that sets my body ablaze.

“Noah …” I want this, but he hasn’t been cleared yet. “We can’t do this yet, babe. You need to follow up with your doctor.”

He moves his hands to my hips and slams me against his raging hard-on. “What if I promise to lie back and let you do all the work? I’ll be a good boy, Mel, I promise.” Before I answer him, he’s sliding his hand down the front of my yoga pants and inside my underwear.

Latching on to his earlobe with my teeth, his fingers slide through my wetness and circle my clit. My whimpers escalate to cries as he increases the pressure. “You’re so fucking wet for me, babe.”

I know this is a bad idea, but I also know he’s feeling much better. Moving my hands to the hem of his shirt, I pull it off and slide off his knees and onto the floor to undo his belt. He beats me to the button and zipper of his jeans, freeing his cock, the head glistening with moisture.

Sucking him in slowly, I allow my tongue to circle the head while licking his essence off seductively. Following his pulsing veins down to the base of his cock and back up again, I tease the tip with my tongue before releasing him.

“Lie back,” I instruct, turning to the dresser to get a condom.

Walking back to the bed, I begin stripping as he watches with a hooded gaze. He managed to remove the rest of his clothes while I was getting the condom and is now stroking himself. My pussy clenches as I stand at the foot of the bed watching him. We don’t need to even have sex; watching him would totally get me off.

“Are you going to watch? Or are you going to come while you ride?” He snickers at the indecision on my face. “Come on, Mel, ride me like you own me.”

Within seconds, I’m ripping the condom open and sliding it on his erection. I’m on top now, straddling him, but before I guide him inside me, I ask him a very important question. “Do I?”

“Do you what?” he asks breathlessly.

“Do I own you, Noah?”

As he moves his hands to my hips, he pulls me down onto his length and groans in pleasure. “You’re the only person who ever has.”

Leaning forward, I take his lips in mine. Noah moves one hand to the small of my back and the other remains on my hip. He guides our movements but I’m still in control. With every thrust he hits my G-spot while I cry out into his mouth, never breaking our kiss. Soon, I’m screaming as I clench around him. Noah doesn’t miss a beat, his cock pulsing inside me as he finds his own release.

As I collapse against him, my head lands on his chest. Noah runs his fingers through my hair as I listen to the rapid beat of his heart begin to eventually slow back to normal. The last thing I want to do is move, but I know he needs to get the condom off before it falls off inside of me.

After I roll over, Noah throws away the condom and brings back a towel to clean me up. It’s quiet between us when he finally asks, “What are you thinking?”

With a smile, I trace my finger across his bottom lip, not wanting to hold anything back from him any longer. “That was incredible, Noah. It’s never … I mean, it’s always, but …” Shit, I don’t even know how to tell him, but he knows; Noah always seems to know everything.

“The best sex ever? Yeah, it was.”

“It was more.”

He looks down at me and kisses me tenderly. “It’s because I’m the one.” His answer isn’t smug, just matter of fact, but it’s also spot on. “You’re not holding anything back anymore, Mel. You finally let me in and it shows. If I’d had any doubts you loved me … which I don’t, by the way,” he corrects quickly, “they’d be gone now. We’re absolutely fucking amazing together.”

“We really are, aren’t we?”

His response is a long, lingering kiss. Noah Weston manages to steal my heart again, one beat at a time.