Kai

 

Isla didn’t look scared as she plummeted to the rocks twenty feet below, only shocked and confused. My scream of pain was still echoing through the forest.

Then air was ripping past my face and rocks pressing under my claws as I launched myself past Isla, before twisting, shifting and catching her hard against my chest.

I stumbled and fell, panting and shaking. Is she alive? Is she hurt?

“I-Isla?” I asked, looking down and not wanting to let her go, but also trying to see if she was alive. Her eyes were closed and then she slowly opened them. Relief swamped me and I clutched her against me, rocking a little. I’d never been so scared in my entire life.

Well, except for the time she almost drowned.

Sitting her up to face me, I grabbed her shoulders as anger poured through me. “What the hell were you doing? You need to pay better attention! Dammit, Isla!” I roared.

“How am I not dead or seriously injured?” Isla murmured, staring at me.

“A question I have had to ask two times too many!” I snapped, shaking back my hair.

“Kai!” She brushed off my hands and raked her eyes across me. “How…?” Her head tilted up and she swallowed. “How did you do that? How are you not hurt? Are you hurt?”

I glanced up as well, wincing at the distance. “You-you didn’t see?” I asked, stalling.

Isla slowly and shakily got to her feet, pushing her hair out of her face and staring up at the twenty feet of rock. “What – are you part-kangaroo? What the hell, Kai?” I got to my feet also, cautiously watching her as she turned to stare me down. “Well?” She demanded.

“Adrenaline?” I suggested lamely and her nostrils flared. “Hey – I saved your life.” Anger was fading into panic as I looked at her. “Maybe you don’t get to find out.”

Isla went white with rage and stomped a foot. “Do not lie to me. Not after that.”

I’d never see Isla so angry or shaken. She looked ready to bolt or slap me across the face. Possibly both. But what hurt more was the way she was eyeing me like she didn’t recognize me. Unable to bear it, I looked down, gripping my hair and trying to figure out what to do. The rain began to lash down harder and filled the air with a strong tang of ozone.

“Kai, tell me or I’m flinging myself off that precipice again,” Isla said. Her voice was much closer and kinder. Gentle hands lifted my face. “Kai. Please. What, are you a superhero?”

I met her gaze and muttered, “Not exactly.”

“Please, tell me. I won’t run or be afraid. I promise,” Isla said.

“I can’t tell you,” I said, my chest heaving.

“Why not?” Isla asked, her eyes flashing.

“I-I’ll show you. You wouldn’t believe me otherwise,” I said. “Give me a little space and step back a bit, please.” I paused. “And enjoy the show.”

Isla nodded and walked backward a few paces. I half-expected her to hug herself, but her hands were loose at her sides and her head was tilted to the side.

Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I gave into the energy that I tried to ignore on a daily basis. The cool pulse of something deep and earthy humming along my bones and inveigling me to run and leap across the mountains. The sense of power and falling away of time.

And I shifted.

I heard Isla gasp and I opened my eyes to see her sink to her knees, hands over her mouth. Her eyes were huge in her face and she stared at me, shaking her head. Flinching back, I went to shift again, when she spoke and moved towards me.

“Kai?” she asked and I slowly walked towards her. Isla lifted a shaking hand. Again, I flinched, but her fingers were gentle as she touched my face. Amazement lit up her face as she smiled at me. “Woah. This is not what I was…” Reaching down, she picked up one of my paws and looked at it. “No wonder why you can run so fast.” I shifted back, gripping her hand with my own and she squeaked. “How?”

“Now you know,” I said, my heart slamming in my chest. “Cat always lands on its feet.”

Isla moved closer, her fingers tracing across my face and pulling at my skin. “You’re a magical leopard-man or something, aren’t you? I knew you were too good-looking to be real.”

To my surprise, I laughed. “No, not a leopard-man. I’m a jaguar… shifter.”

The word felt like a lie, but I didn’t know what else to call myself.

“A shifter,” Isla echoed. “Incredible. So, you’re part jaguar?”

“Not exactly,” I said, a little unnerved at Isla’s reaction. “You’re taking this oddly well.”

“You don’t understand,” Isla said, smiling up at me. “When I was a child, my grandmother told me about this magical race of people who lived in this faraway kingdom and they could become animals at will. Talk to them too. Oh my gosh, can you actually talk to the cats?”

Her enthusiasm floored me. “Uh, yes,” I said flatly.

“Kai!” she squealed, throwing her arms around my neck. “This is the coolest shit ever. I can’t believe it’s real. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I feel like I'm in a fairytale or a movie. And you are like a superhero, you jerk!"

I held her away from me and squinted. “Okay, did I fall off the cliff and hit my head?”

“You thought I’d be scared,” Isla said knowingly. “But, I’m not.” She sounded a little surprised. “At all. Does that make me weird? It’s almost like, I don’t know, something in me recognized what you were when you shifted, even if I couldn’t name it.” She paused. “Shifters.”

It began to rain harder and I realized both of us were completely soaked now. “Come on, let’s head home,” I said. “And can you do me a favor?”

“Of course!” Isla chirped.

“Hold off on questions and stuff,” I said. “This is a kind of weird topic for me. I usually try to pretend this part of my life doesn’t exist. Or ignore it.”

“But why?” Isla asked. “It’s so cool. Damn, I’d be running around all the time as a jaguar.”

I let out a weak laugh and got up, pulling her with me. This time, as we climbed up, I hovered behind Isla, alert to every footfall and every twitch. When we finally got up and over, heading back through the woods, I was able to breathe again.

The walk back would have been quiet between us even if I hadn’t asked Isla to hold off – the rain was falling in a deluge through the trees around us.

Then it was over. We walked out into a patch of bright sunlight and the overpowering scent of fresh, wet earth. Steam rose from our clothes as we walked along, the weight chafing at me and I peeled off my shirt, wadding it into a ball to shove into my bag. Behind me, Isla followed suit, revealing her bra top and a slight bruise on her side.

I froze. “What’s that?”

My hand shot out and turned her towards me as she asked, “What’s what – hey!”

Not only was there a bruise on her, but as I looked closer, five faint lines. I felt sickened as I stared at it. I’d thought I’d shifted before I caught her, but it had all happened so fast.

Isla was lifting her arms and twisting her hips to see what I was looking at. “Oh. Wow. Life-ending injuries right here,” she said, her tone bordering on acerbic.

“I’m sorry,” I gritted out.

“Kai. You saved me from shattering every bone in my body and probably death. Don’t be sorry. This little bruise?” She swatted at me and I looked at her. “It’s my fault.”

“It’s not–”

“You were right. I wasn’t paying attention. I was being careless. Please, please stop looking at me like that. I’m okay.” Isla paused. “Thanks to you. And I swear, I’m not trying to make this a habit.”

I had to smile at that. “You don’t have a bit of a thing for being caught in my manly arms?”

“Well,” Isla said, biting her lip. “I wouldn’t say that.”

A while later, after arriving back and showering, we were sitting on the deck and eating a late lunch and early dinner. I kept catching Isla staring at me and then giving me hilariously guilty looks when I did so. Finally, I leaned back and sighed.

Glancing to the deep woods behind us, letting my eyes trace the greenery, I began to speak. I told Isla everything. How it the world she’d just been introduced to was a secret one and that shifting was the mere tip of it. How it was considered a mystic and ancient art, with strict rules and innate understandings between shifters. Keeping our mutual secrets. Not using it to take advantage of others. Honoring the natural world and the animals in it.

“Is there like a government?” Isla asked, her chin on her hands and her feet tucked up.

I hesitated. “Loosely, I guess. More of a system of upholding the old laws and keeping each other safe. But yes, wayward shifters are brought to justice by them. But, we’re not inhuman, there are shifters in jail and then there are those who work for the mainland government, of course. Most shifters lead a normal life, though a great majority work in some kind of environmental, ecological or animal-related field.”

“Wow,” Isla said. At that moment, Lulu appeared out of nowhere and hopped up onto her lap. Isla rubbed her ears and gave me an eager, excited look.

You told her? Lulu asked, looking gratified and began to purr.

“She found out,” I muttered.

“Who found out?” Isla piped up.

“You did. About me.” I paused as Lulu gave me a smug look. “Lu’s being odious about it.”

Isla was quiet as she continued to pat Lulu. “May I ask you something?” I nodded, my hands tightening over my knees and eyes sliding away. “You said you don’t like to talk about this part of your life, right? Will you tell me why – someday?”

“Someday?” I echoed, looking up.

“Kai,” Isla said, reaching out a hand to me. “In all of the excitement, I wasn’t being very considerate of your feelings. You wouldn’t keep this a secret if… Well, you know.”

I nodded. “Okay. And will you do me a favor? Don’t tell Piper you know. Let me.”

Isla smiled. “Okay.” Then she sucked in a breath and stared at me. “Is Piper one too?”

I laughed at her expression. “Yes. And Balt. That’s why I was so freaked out when you said he was like a lion. I was like ‘how did she figure that out?’”

“Balt shifts into a lion?” Isla exclaimed. “Like with a mane?”

“With a huge mane,” I said with a laugh. “A huge mane for a huge lion.”

I went on to explain a few more things about shifters and the world around them, as more cats appeared. Isla was staring at me and shaking her head.

“Damn, this is trippy. Maybe my grandmother heard about shifters or something – how else could she have told me those stories? Everything you’re saying, it’s bringing back old memories.”

“Maybe. Or maybe she knew someone who was, or…” I trailed off as a thought hit me. Maybe she was one herself. And even though Isla wasn’t one, the grandmother had found a way to keep her heritage alive.

“Maybe,” Isla murmured, looking lost in thought. “So, you can only be born a shifter, right?” I looked at her. “You can’t become one or anything?”

“No,” I said harshly and Isla flinched back. Damn, she had an uncanny way of stumbling into the truth. "No," I said in a quieter voice. "Absolutely not."

“Wishful thinking,” Isla joked and my stomach twisted.

“Careful what you wish for,” I muttered and stood up. “Okay, I’m overheating. Need to go surfing. You wanna come?”

She looked surprised. “Aren’t you tired? Oh no, you probably have crazy stamina.” Isla gave me one of her sweetest smiles. “No thanks. I’m gonna stay here. Hang with the cats.”

Leaning across the table, I kissed her. I tried to think of a joke but couldn’t as I pulled away. I wanted to make her laugh and set her mind at ease.

Or maybe set my mind at ease.

“Go ahead, Kai. I’m fine.” Her eyes were soft and understanding.

Nodding, I all but ran down to the ocean, craving the endless, heaving cycle of waves and surf, the stinging salt and the warm wind. It would wash everything away.

Isla knew. She accepted it and she accepted me.

So why did I feel still this weight dragging on my chest?

Because she doesn’t know you’re a fraud. Came a snide voice. An abomination to the name of shifting. And a liability to your family and the Shifters of Anubis.

Sinking under the waves, I held my breath for a long time and let the silence press on me. Part of me wished I’d already told her the entire truth, but another part of me wished I’d never have to. Well, maybe I don’t have to…