Chapter Eight
Frustration didn’t even begin to describe how Ren felt. Shirtless, he stormed out of Stacey’s house wanting to punch something harder than her wall. He wasn’t a violent person, had only been in a couple fights in his life and those had been instigated on the football field. But his mother refused to let him be an adult. Treated him like a child incapable of making decisions. She’d actually scolded him in front of the woman he wanted to win over. Embarrassing and completely unnecessary.
And the woman he loved with all his being had refused to let him love her. Stacey had shut him out after giving him a glimpse of what they could be.
Fuuuccckkk!
How did things get so screwed up?
Pushing through the front door, he expected his mother to rush him with angry words. To itemize all the ways he was screwing up the life she’d planned for him. He’d never seen her so pissed.
Instead, silence embraced him. He could slink to his room and avoid the whole confrontation, give her the silent treatment until she conceded she’d been in the wrong, but that wouldn’t help his chances of getting back with Stacey, or repair his rapport with his mom. Despite her behavior, he still wanted to salvage their relationship.
The way she attacked Stacey upset him, especially after everything Stacey had been through already. His gut curled into a knot of guilt at having been so selfish, dragging Stacey into this situation and not discussing things with his mother.
Would his mom have been mad if he’d talked to her first? Yes. He knew that. But his avoidance of the topic was childish. His father had warned him. If he wanted to convince Stacey a relationship between them was possible, he needed to man-up. Show her he was mature enough to handle a relationship and all the consequences—both good and not so good—that came with one.
A strange calmness washed over him, stripping away the anger and frustration from moments ago. He’d been going about things all wrong. He wasn’t going to persuade Stacey to give them a shot with just words or sex, no matter how incredible the sex might be. He needed to prove his feelings through his actions. First action: Dealing with his mother.
“Mom,” he called, climbing the staircase to the bedrooms on the second floor. A door creaked open and Ren’s father stepped into the hallway. He looked a little worn, hair disheveled, lines etched in his forehead, eyes weary. When his mother was upset, his dad took the brunt of it.
“I think I’ve calmed her down. Are you sure you want to have this conversation now?”
“I need to talk to her.” Ren nodded. “I screwed up by putting it off. I should have had this conversation yesterday when the opportunity presented itself, but I chickened out. It’s my fault she found out this way. I don’t want her angry at Stacey. This is on me.” He ducked into his bedroom across the hallway and grabbed a gray t-shirt.
“Enter at your own risk,” his father warned. “I finally got her to stop cussing and crying.” He patted Ren on the shoulder before scooting by and heading downstairs.
“Mom?” Ren knocked softly.
Turning the handle, he pushed the door open a crack and peeked in. His mother huddled in her cushioned chaise near the bay window. The sun poured in from the open blinds, warming the room and highlighting the rich greens and silver of his parents’ décor.
“Can we talk?” Ren inched inside, leaving the door cracked just in case he needed to yell for assistance. Not that his mother would ever get physical with him. She’d never laid a hand on him, his father either. But he had never been good at dealing with her when she melted down in tears or lectured him to no end. That was Dad’s territory.
“Talk about what?” Shannon didn’t turn in his direction. She stared out the window at the inter-coastal canal behind their house. Though he loved his mother, her guilt trip routine could wear on him.
“My relationship with Stacey.” He sat on the edge of the king-sized bed. His blood pumped fast, making him jittery. Though he knew the conversation necessary, it didn’t make it any less nerve-racking. She had a vision for his life and found it difficult to swallow if he had different plans.
“Oh, okay,” she bit out, but still didn’t turn. “So, you do want to discuss how you’re throwing your life away and at such an early stage.”
Not being able to see her face made him nervous. Usually his puppy dog eyes could break her anger, if even just a little bit. He couldn’t read her facial expressions with her back to him, but she had a tone colder than the front row at a hockey game.
“Mom, I’m in love with her.”
“Ha! Lust and love are not the same thing, Son.” Shannon turned her head slightly to look at him. “Trust me, I get it. Stacey is beautiful. And she is young, if you are comparing her to me. So, I get the fantasy. But you are smarter than that to mistake a sexual attraction for love.”
“You know me better than that. I know the difference. Yes, I’m physically attracted to her, but it goes beyond that. Way beyond. For the first time ever, I have feelings for a woman. You and Dad used to tease me about not dating girls and missing my opportunity to fall in love. Well, it’s happened.” Ren swept his hands through his short hair and took a deep breath. Despite the circumstances, saying his feelings out loud felt good, especially to his mom. Made them more real, more tangible.
“You’re twenty-three. Your longest relationship was prom weekend your senior year. What do you know about love?” Shannon swung her legs over the side of the chaise lounge and stared at him. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.
He hated hurting her even if she was wrong and went off the deep-end earlier. He fidgeted.
“How old were you when you married Dad?”
“Damn it! Are we talking about marriage now?” Her voice was clipped. “Things were different back then.”
“How old, Mom?” He gripped his legs right above his knees and squeezed. It hurt, but helped him remain calm. At this point, he wasn’t talking about marriage. Christ, he couldn’t even get Stacey to give him a date yet, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about making a life with her, one that included changing her name. “You say ‘back then’ like you got married in the nineteen fifties.”
“Well, it was hardly the nineteen fifties.” She scoffed. “But it was over twenty-five years ago. And your dad and I had known each other since we were thirteen.”
“I’ve known Stacey since I was thirteen.”
“It’s just different. You were thirteen and she was an adult.”
“Yes, and now we’re both adults.”
She huffed out an exaggerated breath and waved her hands in frustration.
“What is your worry? Is it the age difference? What your friends will think? What is it that makes you so angry that I love her?”
“She’s in her thirties. Already been married and divorced. You should be dating a girl your age, doing things twenty-three-year-old’s do.”
“And what do twenty-three-year-old’s do? Matt Reynolds is married and expecting his first child. Tyler is working at his dad’s car shop, lifeguarding at the beach, and dating a new girl every night. Aaron Meitz is headed to medical school in the fall. Everyone is doing something different.” Pointing out some of his close buddies’ lives should put things in perspective for her. He did exactly what he should—figuring out and living his life.
“She should have known better than to move forward with whatever it is that occurred between the two of you. She’s a grown woman with experience.”
“And I’m what? Just a kid, right?” Ren blew out a harsh breath and shook his head. “If I’m not worried about her age, then why are you? I’m the one who has to deal with those differences. Not you.”
“You may not think it matters now, but when you’re in your thirties, she’ll be in her forties. She’s always going to be eight years older than you. Maybe right now it seems ideal, but down the road the age difference will be a big deal.”
“The age difference probably makes the biggest deal right now. Down the road, I’m only going to love her more, and not because of the way she looks, but because she’ll be my wife and the mother to my children, and I won’t give a shit about how old she is.”
“Jesus Christ. You’re serious about this.” She turned to face the window again. “I thought this was just some sort of fantasy. I was sitting here thinking I’ll let it run its course. Maybe a few weeks. A couple months at the most. But you’re talking about marriage and kids.” Her voice cracked.
“Which is why I want to talk about it. I don’t want you to think it’s a fantasy or short-lived or that Stacey has pursued me in some sort of desperation ploy to get over Randy. She’s done everything to discourage my advances.”
His mother puffed out a disbelieving breath and turned again to face him. “Everything except say no.”
Perhaps he could employ another tactic. Sympathize with her.
“Mom, I can only imagine the shock of finding out that your son is having sex with your neighbor, but I don’t want this to be the focus. Sex is a small part of what is going on.”
“So you’ve said. You don’t think a relationship with someone your own age would be easier? A girl who doesn’t have the baggage of an ex-husband or having been cheated on?”
“Yes. It would be easier, but I’m not looking for easy. I’m following my heart, just like you always told me to.” He stood and walked the short distance to the chaise, then squatted on the edge. “I’d like to have your blessing. It would be easier if Stacey knew you weren’t going to hate her or stir up drama. And it would be easier for me. I want to bring her around you and Dad. I don’t want to feel like I’m being forced to hide how I feel about her. I won’t do that. I’m not embarrassed about the way I feel and I certainly don’t want Stacey to be.”
“I need time to sit with this, Ren. I’m not quite ready to acquiesce to this scenario. I’m sorry.”
“I’ll take that as a positive.” He stood again, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. She inhaled as he turned and walked out of the room.
Not the warm apology he desired or the acceptance he’d hoped for, but better than an hour ago when she slapped Stacey and attempted to order him home like a five-year-old. She needed time. Just like Stacey, he’d give it to his mom as well. He hopped down the stairs and into the kitchen where he found his dad sipping coffee and flipping through the news on his iPad.
“Well, the house didn’t fall down around me so I guess that’s progress.” His father eyed Ren. A small smile teased his lips.
“She was angry. Wouldn’t even look at me, but she listened. At least, I think so.” Ren poured a cup of coffee and sat at the table. “Any advice on how best to deal with these two women?”
“Sure.” Dad chuckled. “Run.”
Ren belted out a full belly laugh. “Great advice from the man who’s still here.”
“I’m trying to save you.” Dad winked. “Let your mom stew for a bit. She’ll come to terms with it eventually.”
“And Stacey?” Ren sipped his coffee, hoping the caffeine would give him the energy he’d need after the crazy morning.
“Give her what she needs. Not what you think she needs, Son. What she’s asked for.” Jay picked up his iPad and started reading again. “Can you believe the housing market is rising at record rates again? I hope we aren’t entering another bubble.”
Ren smiled. All was right in this moment. He had a plan.