Chapter Three
“Are you okay?” Stacey asked. The concern in her voice warmed him from head to toe. He’d nearly passed out from the rush of his orgasm. Best he’d ever had. His limbs still tingled and his head swam in a pool of euphoria.
Several minutes had passed, the two of them tangled in each other, trying to regain their breath, their composure.
Ren pulled back to look at her. Waves of emotion floated across her features: Relief mixed with worry, and what was that? Guilt? His chest twisted into a knot at the idea she would regret one millisecond of what just happened.
Sex was always great, but this, this was incredible. So intense. So amazing.
“I don’t know.” He stretched his lips into a lazy smile. “I’ve never had sex like that.”
“Like what?” She attempted to straighten, but he was still semi-hard inside of her.
He didn’t want to pull out and lose the feel of her arms, her pussy wrapped around him, linking them emotionally as well as physically. He hadn’t imagined their connection. He’d seen hints in her expressions and her voice, but this feeling was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. He wanted the joy, the moment to last forever.
“So together. So real.” He chuckled with satisfaction and admiration. He’d always secretly believed he was missing the commitment gene. A connection to a woman was foreign to him.
Not that he thought he’d be alone. Companions were easy to find.
His heart thrummed against his chest and every inch of him tingled with excitement and anticipation. He made love to a woman for the first time. Finally. And it was fan-fucking-tastic! This was what all the fuss was about. He’d never be the same.
He slid free of her, sighing at the loss of warmth. Her sharp intake of breath signaled her own displeasure at losing their union. That gave him some comfort knowing she felt something, too. But the glimmer of regret clouding her beautiful blue eyes gnawed at his gut.
He needed to remind her what they’d just done. Of what they could be.
Leaning into her, he slanted his mouth over hers, then kissed her deeply, dipping his tongue into her sweet recess. She tasted spicy, like cinnamon gum. He’d buy out the Big Red packs and the cinnamon Altoids at the grocery store tomorrow just to keep her flavor on his tongue.
“I want to do this again,” he said against her mouth, holding her face in his hands, and caressing the curve of her jaw with his thumb. His lips lingered over hers. “I want to do this often.”
The corners of her mouth turned down. “Oh, Ren.” A crack of guilt in her voice, a sadness in her sigh.
“Don’t say it, Stacey.” He shook his head. “I came here with every intention of this happening. You didn’t seduce me. You didn’t coerce me to do anything. So, please don’t tell me you feel guilty or you regret it. I couldn’t take it. This is the best day of my life.”
Her eyes widened at his declaration, as if she’d expected him to throw on his clothes as he walked out the door and yelled, “thank you” before it slammed shut. He understood her thought process. She knew him well. He hadn’t ever had a steady girlfriend. Not one who he’d dated more than a couple times. She knew that.
But this wasn’t a fling. Not for him. Even though she didn’t know it yet, he wasn’t just getting his rocks off with an older woman. He wanted more. Wanted her. All of her.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. She dropped her gaze to the floor. Wisps of hair covered her face like a veil, shielding her from his scrutiny.
“Don’t say anything.”
“You know this can’t happen again.” She flipped her hair back, exposing wide eyes. A warm smile stretched her lips, but her words felt like a dagger to his carotid. “I admit this was incredible. Amazing. You’re amazing. Any girl who ends up with you is the luckiest girl alive.”
The idea of being with another woman soured his stomach. Finally, he was ready to commit to a woman. To her.
“What if I want that girl to be you?” He stood between her legs and lifted her chin. All sorts of emotions swam in the depths of her blue eyes. He tried to cling to those that would help him get her on the same page. “I want you.”
“Oh, baby, that’s sweet. Really. But you don’t want me. Trust me.” She set her hands on his chest and pressed, trying to create space between them.
He gripped her hips and held on, refusing to be pushed away. If he let her off the counter now, she’d throw him out and declare this the biggest mistake of her life. He couldn’t let that happen. She’d need time to digest his proposition, but first he had to understand the source of her resistance, otherwise it would be like wrestling a ghost.
“Why wouldn’t I want you?” He narrowed his eyes, silently daring her to name all the reasons she’d formulated in her pretty head so he could shoot every last one of them down.
“First of all, your parents will never approve of this. I’m pretty sure I don’t approve of this.” She waved a finger between them. He grabbed her finger and kissed the tip. Her eyes softened, but she yanked her hand from his grasp.
Clearly his touch affected her. He clung to that.
“We don’t need my parents’ approval. For Christ’s sake, I’m an adult. You’re an adult. We make our own decisions. We decide if we want to take this further. To have a relationship.”
He swept a few stray pieces of her hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered on her neck, and goosebumps rose along her soft skin. She shivered and her nipples tightened.
His cock twitched to life. Another wave of hunger washed over him. He bit off the moan that climbed up his throat. He could initiate another round—he’d love to—but he needed to focus if he wanted to convince her he wanted more than sex.
“I care what your parents think. I’m friends with them.”
“My parents love you. They may initially be surprised, but they’ll accept us.” He emphasized the word, needing her to understand the seriousness of what he sought. This wasn’t an afternoon fling or a one-night stand. He wasn’t fooling around for a few days or weeks to live out a fantasy.
He wanted sunsets, cozy dinners, snuggling up on the couch watching movies. He wanted to hold her while she fell asleep and wake to her every morning.
“I’m eight years your senior.” She pushed on his chest again, but he didn’t budge. She huffed out in frustration.
“Yes. I know our age difference.” A bit of cockiness laced his tone. “Go on. What else?”
“You can’t possibly be serious?”
“I’m not just serious. I’m dead fucking serious.”
“Ren, in ten years, hell, in five years, maybe even less, you won’t find me attractive.” She ran her fingers through her hair, which fell over her bare shoulders in wild waves, making her look like a siren perched on a rock beckoning a sailor. He wasn’t sure what she saw when she looked in the mirror, but he couldn’t imagine ever finding her anything but beautiful. “I don’t have it in me to be tossed for a twenty-something. That would happen with you because you are a twenty-something.”
There! She said it. Maybe their age difference bothered her, but it was more than that. She feared being left for a younger woman again. Now he understood the playing field they were on and where he stood. She’d just given him a gift and didn’t even know it.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He cupped her cheek, and her skin was so smooth against his calloused hands. “I understand the reasons you feel the way you do, believe me, I do. I’d love to kick Randy’s ass for making you feel this way, for putting those concerns, insecurities, and doubts in your head. For breaking your heart. But I’m not Randy. And I promise I’d never do that to you.”
“What about the girl you were telling me about earlier from school? You deserve somebody closer to your age. Someone who is in the same stage of life as you.”
“I never said she was from school. You made that assumption. You asked if any girls had caught my eye and I said there was a girl.” He paused. “You.” His gaze begged her to believe him. “I’ve had a thing for you for a long time and after making love to you today, it’s hard for me to imagine ever being with anyone else.”
“Ren Haynes!” she snapped. “You’re twenty-three-years-old! You can have any woman you want. Pick one your own age. One that you can have a future with. And we didn’t make love. We fucked.” Her tone was harsh, cold.
His gut twisted and a twinge stabbed his heart. He knew there’d been risks involved in seducing her and trying to prove he wanted more than sex. With his reputation, never being serious about a girl, he had an uphill battle convincing her. But he would climb Mount Everest in his swimming trunks and bare feet if she’d give him a chance.
She pushed on his chest again. This time, he stepped back, still shocked by her words. She jumped down from the counter as soon as he gave her space, and grabbed the towel off the floor, wrapping the cloth tightly around herself, trying to shield her nakedness. Her eyes were wild and her hands trembled as she clung to the towel, her agitation palpable.
He pulled the condom off, tied it and shuffled over to the trash can. After tossing the rubber, he bent over, swiped up his boxer briefs and cargo shorts, and stepped into them. He buttoned his shorts, all the while watching her gather her bathing suit off the tiled floor.
He wanted to walk over and wrap her in his arms. Tell her everything would be fine. They’d be more than fine if she just gave them a chance. But the heat in her eyes hinted he should think twice about that move.
****
“Put your shirt on!” Stacey squatted and picked his shirt up from the floor. She threw the cloth, and it hit his chest then fell to his feet.
She vibrated with emotions: Lust, guilt, regret, revitalization.
He stood before her in nothing but shorts that hung low. His fists squared on his hips. His hair laid ruffled, lips swollen. His pecs glistened, his abs rippled with each breath. He looked delicious and thoroughly fucked. Damn him!
She wanted to shake the shit out of him and at the same time, climb his body and beg him to make her feel like he did just moments ago.
What had she done? Had sex with her neighbors’ son. For the love of God, she was going to hell! Plummeting to hell like a rollercoaster plunging over its first hill.
And now he wanted a relationship with her. Never occurred to her that he would be interested in anything more than sex. He’d never been interested in more than sex from any of the girls he’d brought around. Why her?
“Does my being shirtless bother you?” Clearly he wanted to get a rise out of her. Juvenile, but it worked.
“Shut! Up!” she said through gritted teeth.
“Why are you so angry?” His soft voice played with her heart strings. He honestly didn’t see anything wrong with what they’d done.
“We just had sex,” she blurted, exasperated at his lack of understanding.
“Stop beating yourself up. This is on me.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.
“You bet your ass it is. What the hell were you thinking?”
Okay. So, he’d caught her in a weak moment. A woman could only hold out so long. He was incredibly attractive. He didn’t force her. God knows she’d begged him to fuck her. But that was it. One round. They could both move on. Though the idea of him with another woman had a lump forming in her throat and tears percolating at the corners of her eyes. That was why she was angry. She shouldn’t have any feelings about him.
“I’m not going to pressure you.” He strode across the tiled floor to where she stood.
She stepped back until the hard granite pressed against the small of her back. Having him so close, his salty, beach scent mixed with traces of their sex fogged her brain. He gripped the countertop on either side of her, caging her there. She clenched her jaw, biting the insides of her cheeks to keep from leaning forward and running her tongue over his taut pectorals and instigating another steamy round.
I’ve completely lost my mind.
“I know this may come as a shock to you, but I’ve wanted this for quite some time. This isn’t some crush, Stace. It’s not about living out a fantasy, though I will admit today surpassed all the fantasies I’ve ever had. I took this job in Tampa because I wanted to be here close to you. I want to be with you.”
She stiffened. Her shoulders sat close to her ears diminishing the length of her neck from the amount of tension that had taken over. He sounded serious about this relationship thing.
He leaned his forehead against hers.
She opened her mouth, prepared to reiterate all the reasons his proposal was ridiculous and out of the question, but he pressed a finger to her lips.
“I never thought I’d have a chance, but Randy is no longer in the picture. I know what I want. You. I’m willing to give you the time to realize you want the same thing. But don’t think for a single second that I’m not coming after you with everything I have. I have every intention of making you mine.
He slammed his mouth on hers, kissing her hard, and locking her breath deep in her lungs. She struggled to wrap her mind around his words because his kiss melted her into gooey putty.
He broke their connection. “I’ll see you later.” He kissed her forehead, then spun around, bent over to grab his t-shirt off the floor, and pulled the cloth over his head. He grabbed a chocolate chip cookie from the tray on the island countertop, bit into it, and moaned. “So good.”
She stood dumbfounded as he strode in the direction of the front door.
What the hell just happened?
“I had the best afternoon, Stacey.” He glanced over his shoulder, a little chocolate smudged at the corner of his mouth. His blue eyes twinkled with energy. The curve of his lips had her knees trembling. He disappeared out of the kitchen and the closing click of the front door allowed her to release the breath she’d been holding.
“Great job, Stace,” she said to herself, still gripping onto the countertop to stay upright. “Now what the hell are you going to do?”
Shannon would kick her ass if she ever found out Stacey had slept with Ren.
It had been incredible! She definitely wanted more. The sex, that is. Perhaps that was the answer to her lapse in judgment—more sex. Not with Ren, of course. Although today had been the best of her life, they couldn’t happen again.
End. Of. Story.
Or was it? He didn’t seem to think so.
This was complicated. Ren wasn’t just someone. She’d watched him grow from a lanky teenager to a man over the course of ten years.
What a mess!
With her bikini in hand, she marched down the hall to her bedroom, feeling deliciously sore in places that hadn’t been sore for a while, and in desperate need of a shower. Ren’s scent still lingered all over her, arousing her. She was unable to think. A clear head would do her good.
She turned the shower on. When the water warmed, she dropped the towel she’d been clinging to like a life line and slipped under the stream. The water pelted her, washing away the anxiety and shame.
Stacey missed having a man in her life. She’d admit to that. Missed the companionship and the sex. But that was no reason to seek that connection from Ren.
This was a onetime event, even if he thought otherwise.
She’d never been a person to sleep around. Not that she saw anything wrong with having some practice. She’d never judged promiscuity. Just never been one to experiment with multiple people. Maybe sex with Ren was what she needed to kickstart her love life, or in the very least, her dating life. No one had to know Ren set her in motion.
After washing, she edged out of the shower and dried off, slipping on a pair of white shorts and a blue and white flowered tank top. She pulled her hair into a damp ponytail and applied some mascara because well, a girl never left the house without it.
She needed to get out for a bit. She called her sister, Jennifer, in Sarasota, for an impromptu visit and packed a bag with enough clothes to get her through at least two days.
Seizing her purse, laptop, and car keys, she walked out the front door to her black BMW 325i sitting in the driveway. Her baby. Her last book deal allowed her to purchase her dream car with cash and without Randy’s help. Ha! He’d always thought her writing career had been a hobby. She’d made more money than he did over the last two years from the sale of her books alone. Randy had been bothered by that fact.
The thick, muggy Florida air smacked her in the face, making her skin moist immediately. So much for the shower. Summer was right around the corner.
“Hey, Stacey.” Shannon Haynes waved to her across the yard. Ren’s mother stood in her front lawn, wearing jean shorts and a blue tank top with her dirty blonde hair in a messy knot, watering her bed of wild flowers. Her one arm in a dark blue sling, the other grasped the hose nozzle. She released the trigger, lay the hose on the ground, and walked in Stacey’s direction, purpose in her stride.
Panic bubbled in Stacey’s chest. Ren wouldn’t have said anything to his mother.
“Hi, Shannon.” Stacey waved back, avoiding eye contact. She hit the remote key to unlock her car door and reached for the back handle, her hand trembling just a bit. She needed to get out of here before Shannon read her guilt and started peppering her with a bunch of questions. Clearly, she had to know Ren had been at her house.
“How’re you doing?” Shannon crossed the property line and stood next to Stacey at the car. She rested her hand on Stacey’s shoulder in a supportive manner.
“I’m doing all right,” Stacey said with a small smile.
“Good,” Shannon said. “We haven’t seen you in a couple weeks. Between the surgery”—she shrugged her injured shoulder—“and moving Ren back here, we’ve been scarce.”
The mere mention of his name had Stacey’s cheeks burning. She could still feel his hands on her bare skin, his lips on hers, and his cock inside her. “I’m sure you’re glad he’s home.” Stacey popped the back door and set her overnight bag and laptop on the floor behind the driver’s seat, hoping Shannon grasped the idea that she wanted to head out sooner rather than later.
“Absolutely. Even though he’s an adult, it’s always good to have him home. He said he was at your place this afternoon helping around the house. He enjoys your company. Always has. He came home all smiles.”
Stacey’s gut clenched, flipped and flopped. Helping out around the house? He went home smiles because he fucked her brains out, not because he simply enjoyed her company. Though, he clearly did. The idea they were hiding this from Shannon, that they had to lie about what happened, made her feel even worse. Stacey didn’t like to lie.
“He’s great.” Stacey barely choked out the words. Shannon appeared oblivious to her discomfort, continuing to smile. Thank God for small blessings.
“Did he tell you anything about this girl who has him all roused up? He had an opportunity for a job in Miami with a much larger engineering firm, but he took this one in Tampa. When his dad asked him about it, he implied there was a girl here he was interested in. We presume it’s a girl he met in school who lives in the area, but he has yet to mention her name or anything. I thought maybe since he’s always felt so comfortable talking to you, he might have mentioned her.” Shannon’s eyes were questioning.
Stacey struggled to control the surprise in her expression. Her eyes wanted to pop and her mouth wanted to form a large ‘O,’ but that would surely raise Shannon’s suspicion. Hearing Shannon confirm what Ren had said had her heart tightening. He hadn’t been giving her a line about other opportunities or about coming back here for her just to woo his way into her panties again. He was making life-altering decisions with her in mind. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
“He mentioned he had his eye on a girl,” Stacey said, turning her back to Shannon and closing the car door. She felt uneasy as she tried to process all this information. Shannon had always been good to her, especially after the divorce, bringing her dinner and a good bottle of wine, telling her what a jerk Randy was. Breaking that trust didn’t feel good at all.
“It’d be nice if he brought a girl home,” Shannon said with a chuckle. “He’s going to be twenty-four in another few months and though we aren’t rushing him to get married or anything, we’d like to see him get serious about a girl. Aside from a few short-term relationships in high school, we’ve never been introduced to a ‘girlfriend.’ In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s never claimed to have one.”
“He’s young, Shannon. Give him some time. People aren’t getting as serious or getting married as young as we did. He’s just starting a new job. Don’t worry about Ren. He’s got a good head on his shoulders.” Stacey opened the driver’s side door. “I need to get going.”
“Where you headed?”
Stacey slid into the car. “I’m headed to my sister’s. Have a little girl-time.” Stacey started the car, and Shannon stepped back.
“Nice. You must love having her so close.”
“I do,” Stacey replied. “I love that we can do these spur-of-the-moment visits. See you soon.”
Shannon closed the car door and waved as Stacey backed out of the driveway. Stacey waved quickly before she sped down their private road on her way to the interstate to drive south and hopefully find some clarity.