Blindsided
When we are hit with unexpected news it can feel like we’ve been blindsided. It can literally take our breath away. However, we are resilient. When we allow a moment for the words to settle, we are more than capable of resolving any problem.
BREEZE
Present Day
HOURS PASSED AS I shared the most intimate details of my life with Mr. Stewart, a total stranger. As a lawyer, I’m sure he heard stories worse than mine, but that assumption didn’t make it easier. The vivid memories were still difficult to talk about. He said he needed to hear everything to help me, and keep Shame from confessing to Eddie Dixon’s murder.
So far, he had remained quiet, scribbling notes and nodding thoughtfully. When I paused for a much-needed break from my emotions, he set the pen and pad of paper on the table.
“This is going to be difficult to hear,” he said, and I could tell he chose his next words carefully. “But the fact Mr. Dixon raped you may actually hurt your case. The jury might see this as a revenge killing.”
“Eddie didn’t rape me,” I argued.
“Regardless. He orchestrated the kidnapping, which led to you being raped. I assume you never went to the authorities about him.”
I knew what he implied and hated how it made me feel. I had not felt ashamed in a long time. “No.”
“Because the Bastards were going to handle things?”
“You don’t understand.”
“I’m not judging you, Miss Clery. But I need more, because right now, the jury will see this as a gang retaliating against another gang. Nothing more.”
“Eddie Dixon has connections. I didn’t go to the police because they wouldn’t have believed me. When they found me, I was so drugged up I couldn’t remember my own name. My word didn’t have much credibility.” Anger forced tears in my eyes as I took a breath. Even in death that animal still managed to violate me. “And yes, I wanted the Bastards to handle things.”
“A jury will believe they did.”
“Eddie came to my home!” I screamed.
“And we might be able to use that, but for it to work, you’re going to have to lie.”
“Fine. I’ll do anything to protect Shame.”
“You’re too late.” I never heard her come in, but I turned to see Viv. The tears staining her cheeks meant only one thing.
“No. No!” I screamed.
“I’m sorry. Shame confessed.”
I kept shaking my head. The motion made my stomach hurt and I felt like vomiting. “He can’t do that.”
“He did.”
“You have to help him,” I pleaded, tears now running steady my cheeks.
“I’ll go speak with Wes and see what’s going on.”
“I have to see him. Please.”
“They’re never gonna let that happen. He wanted me to give you this.”
I sniffled and unfolded the piece of paper she handed me.
Dimples,
I saw the test in your bathroom. I couldn’t let you go to prison.
Marry Collin and raise your baby.
Be happy. I want that for you.
I love you.
Sometimes the unexpected doesn’t just blindside us, it knocks us flat on our ass and holds us down. In the blink of an eye our life has changed. Then we have a choice; get up and fight back or give up.
SHAME
By now Breeze had read my letter. I knew she would be hurt, devastated even, but sharing Breeze and mines story wasn’t going to change anything. It was a waste of time. Not to mention, dredging up the ugly cruel life I exposed her to made me feel sick. I should have let her go years ago, and this was the only way I knew to right my wrong.
She was pregnant by the guy I always wanted for her, a guy who would do right by her and her child. I was not taking away her good life. I would die in prison before I would take her future.
The detective returned to the room with Mr. Taylor. He set a typed version of my confession in front of me. My eyes remained on the first page as Mr. Taylor approached the table. I flinched at his hand on my shoulder.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked for the fifth time.
“Yes,” I replied with unwavering confidence. It was the only way to protect the only woman I ever loved.
“Shame, wait—” Viv shouted, charging into the room.
I glanced up to the eager cop. “Can we have a minute, detective?”
“Sure,” he said, although his stern expression told me he was growing impatient. He moved to the other side of the room.
“I’m not changin’ my mind,” I told Viv, my eyebrows high as I shook my head.
“Read this,” she said, handing me a small piece of paper.
I spotted the words Shame and won’t in Breeze’s handwriting. It was my note with a response from Breeze scribbled on the back. I didn’t want to unfold it to read every word. I was already wavering on my decision, because I was ever the narcissist who felt the rules didn’t apply to me. If I read her note, I feared the consequences. The risk was high. I had always been above the law, but what if this time the justice system followed the letter of the law and Breeze ended up in prison? The note teased me like a schoolyard bully waiting for me to react, until I finally caved.
“Fuck it,” I snapped and unfold the paper.
Shame
I won’t marry Collin.
The baby’s yours.
Don’t do this.
Don’t leave us.
Breeze
My heart filled with joy and my spirit sprang to life with a renewed sense of purpose. All I could focus on was protecting what was mine. I actually felt sorry for the detective. He had been so relieved when I confessed. I met his gaze across the room, a smile tugging at my lips. “Sorry, but I won’t be signing this. My girl needs me.”
Being blindsided by the unexpected is life. A wake up call is good for the soul. Sometimes we need a good kick in the ass to remind us what we are fighting for. No matter how damaged we think we are, there are always people in our lives who need us to recover. There is no time for living with Shame.