I stood in my bathroom staring into the mirror. Getting home was all I’d wished for the past three months, but looking at my blood-soaked sports bra in the mirror had me wishing I could be back at Brody’s. We could’ve come up with a different plan. We should’ve come up with a different plan.

I wasn’t sure how I had any more tears to shed, but they came. They streamed down my face and mixed with the blood on my chest that had soaked through my shirt. I should’ve been in the shower getting clean, but I’d never wash Brody’s blood off me no matter how much I scrubbed. I would always know it was there.

I sank to the floor and curled up as I cried more. I’d never felt so alone or lost. Not even that first day at Brody’s could compare to what I was feeling. I’d lost everything. My father who was supposed to protect me tried to throw me under the bus as he was being handcuffed. My own father. He blamed me for the “charade,” as he called it, and said he was lured there under false pretenses.

I could hear Bryce pacing outside the bathroom door in our bedroom. I longed to be back in his arms, but were they the arms I belonged to or had so much happened that he didn’t want me, either? He seemed distant when we met at the hospital. He did the caring boyfriend routine, but his arms weren’t as warm as they once were.

Maybe the biggest loss was myself. I’d changed so much since I’d been away. Could I go back to the girl Bryce loved? Did I want to?

I startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Come on, Laney. I’ll help you.” Bryce helped me to my feet and held me while I cried. “Let’s get you into the shower and then into bed.”

I was just a shell as he stripped me and washed me in the shower. At least the shower mixed with my tears, and he stopped looking at me as if I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had. I’d felt like I lost everything else. I needed to feel loved again. I needed to feel safe.

When Bryce got us out of the shower and dried off our bodies, I kissed him. He hesitated, but then kissed me back for a moment.

He smiled as he pulled away. “Come on. Let’s get dressed and get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” I kissed him again. “I can sleep later.”

He pulled away and held me at arm’s length. “We don’t have to jump into bed the first night you’re back. You need time to process what’s happened to you.”

I shook my head. “No. No, I need to feel loved. Right now, I feel like I have nothing left in this world.”

He put his arms down and looked at me. “You have me. I’ve never left you.”

I cupped his face and pressed my body to his. “And I’ve never left you.” I showed him my fingertips. “I put it back together after he crushed it. I knew we could make it through anything.”

He held my fingers and looked at them closer. “What happened? You have little cuts.”

“The can. He crushed the can when I pissed him off, but I put it back together. I didn’t care about the sharp edges or how long it was taking. I’d go as slow as I needed to because I knew we couldn’t be crushed.” I held his face and put my forehead to his. “I didn’t leave you. Please. Please, love me again.”

I kissed him, and he didn’t back up. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. “I love you, Laney.”

“Show me.” I walked him backward out of the bathroom and to the bed. “Please, show me.”

He laid me down and propped himself on his elbows above me. “I’ve missed you so much.” He kissed me, and I felt the love he’d been holding back since we left the hospital. I wanted to cry for different reasons but held it together and reached down to stroke him. I was ready. I needed to get him up to speed.

“Laney, are you sure you want to do this tonight?”

“Yes, I need you to love me. Make me forget everything that happened for a little while. I need to forget.”

I would never forget, but I needed to try. I needed to focus on something other than what happened that night or the previous three months. I needed Bryce.

He kissed me and laid his body onto mine. I missed him. I wrapped my arms around him and ran my fingers down his back, gripping his sides when he entered me. He kissed my neck and kept his hips moving, but it was too slow for me. I needed to be consumed by him, and he was treating me as if I would break down again at any moment.

I whispered, “Faster.”

“Give me a minute.”

I pushed his shoulders a little and made him look at me. “Why?”

He smiled and kissed me. “Because this is the first time I’ve even been hard since you’ve been gone, and this new body of yours has me too excited.” He bit my neck. “I’m going to go off faster than either of us will be happy with.”

I smiled and cupped his face. “Just love me. I don’t care how long it lasts.”

“I do love you. So much it hurts.”

He kissed me and sped up just like I’d asked him to. I ran my hands down his back and grabbed his ass. My body wasn’t the only one that had changed. He lost weight where he didn’t have any to lose. I wondered if he’d work out with me when I picked it back up again.

I arched my back as he sucked on my nipple. I ran my hands up his back, over his shoulders, and through his hair. He moved to my other breast, and I held him to me. I couldn’t get enough of him, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to last as long as he wanted.

I pushed on his shoulder again, and he took the hint and rolled over, bringing me with him. I needed to ride him. I needed to go faster. I looked to the nightstand and wanted to reach for it, but the vibrator we used wasn’t in there. It was still at Brody’s.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. I couldn’t think about Brody. I couldn’t cry again. I reached down and rubbed my clit. I needed to forget everything and focus on the moment. It was easier said than done.

I moved my hand and my hips faster. “Please,” I whispered. “Please.”

Bryce sat up and kissed me as he laid me back down. He got on his knees and gripped my hips, pulling me onto his lap. He was no longer slow or gentle.

“Yes.” I rubbed my clit faster. “Don’t stop.”

He went faster and batted my hand out of the way. “Let me.”

“Just don’t stop.”

I reached up and grabbed the comforter above my head and arched my back when his thumb went in the familiar pattern that always set me off. He always knew how to play me.

“Oh, yes. Right there. Please.”

“You’re close. I can feel it, baby.”

So could I. I would get to the edge, and then something would pop into my mind, pulling me back from the orgasm I desperately needed.

“Baby, look at me.”

I opened my eyes and looked into his.

“Don’t close your eyes again. Stay here. Stay with me.”

I nodded and he went faster. “Oh.”

“Don’t close your eyes.”

I opened them again and stayed with Bryce. My legs shook and I clenched my walls around him, causing his eyes to close, but he opened them back up and looked at me again.

“That’s it, love. Just like that.”

I smiled and squeezed him again. He moved faster, causing me to arch my back again. “Oh, don’t stop. Fuck, please, don’t stop.”

When it hit, my entire body shook and took him with me. I smiled when he collapsed on top of me and groaned. I kissed him and wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let him go again. “I love you, Bryce.”

* * *

I woke up before Bryce and was grateful for the time alone. It was a strange feeling to be back in my home and free to come and go as I pleased. I wouldn’t say I missed it, but I felt uneasy about not having a schedule to adhere to anymore, so I stuck to the only thing I’d known those past few months. I worked out.

Bryce came down an hour later almost panicked. “There you are.” He tried to control his breathing. I’d been working out for an hour, but he was breathing far harder than I was.

“Is everything okay?” I stood and walked over to him as I shook out my arms.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. I’ve woken up to that nightmare every day for the past three months. I didn’t think I’d wake up to it today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I gave him a quick kiss before heading back to finish my workout. “I wanted to let you sleep. I’ll fix breakfast in a minute.”

He sat on the sofa and watched me. “Is that how you spent your time?”

“Yes, for the most part. I was given puzzles to do, as well.”

“How did you learn how to do that?”

It was difficult to talk about what I’d gone through, but I knew it would need to be discussed eventually. I had just hoped for a few weeks to get used to the idea of being home before I had to deal with it.

“Come sit on my feet, and I’ll tell you.” I couldn’t stand to see him sitting on the sofa where that woman had straddled his lap.

“Okay, but I’ve already seen you in this position naked. Just last night, if I’m not mistaken, and I wasn’t sitting on your feet.”

I smiled and kissed him again before I got on the floor. I did miss his bad jokes. “For the first couple of weeks, I guess—”

“You guess?”

“I didn’t have a clock for a while. I spent every minute in bed, so days kind of blended together. I had no idea how long I’d been there. I wasn’t allowed to mope anymore. I had to stay awake and active.”

I started my sit-ups and spoke in between each one. He watched as I touched each elbow to the opposite knee before going back down to do it all over again.

“I started out slow, at first.” I sat up and touched my elbows to my knees again. “And the stronger I got, the more complex the exercises got.” I finished the reps without another word. I wasn’t sure he was paying attention to me anyway. He was focused on my elbows.

“And this is something you’re going to continue to do?”

“I’d like to do it with you.”

“Well, we can talk about it.”

I laughed and stood, pulling him up with me. “It really isn’t that hard when you get into it.”

He held my hands, stepped back, and pulled my arms apart. “Look at you. I’ve always loved your body, but you’re so toned.” He let go of one hand and placed his hand on his belly. “I feel out of shape.”

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my cheek against his chest. “I love you whether you work out with me or not. You’re perfect to me.”

I looked at the sofa, and the image with the woman he was sitting with popped into my mind. I closed my eyes and held him tighter.