I walked up to Noah, leaning against the car with his arms crossed. I put our dinner in the back seat and got in. Once I started the car, Noah got in. “What the fuck, Dad?”

“Don’t use that language with me.” I glanced his way. “Buckle up.”

I put the car in drive and eased out onto the road. I didn’t want to tell him everything I’d done, but he needed to know she was not a threat to his family. I didn’t want him to run into her again and be rude.

“Your father wasn’t a great guy in his younger days.”

He groaned and looked out the window. “I hate it when you talk in third person.”

I laughed. “Okay, fine. I was an asshole. I was mean and a fucking cunt if you want the truth.” I looked at him but had to keep my focus on the road. “I was cruel to that woman. I did unspeakable things you wouldn’t ever imagine me doing, but it all worked out in the end.”

“So, she’s an ex.” He seemed to relax and turn toward me. “Does Mom know about her?”

“They’ve met.” I glanced at him again. “Look, son, you’re going to do things you regret in life. We all have them. What you need to do is realize the lesson it teaches you and move on.

“I was stuck in a place where I dwelled on all the bad shit I did. I thought I had nothing good to offer the world. I thought the world had nothing to offer me. Laney helped me to see that wasn’t true. She taught me the possibilities in life were there for the taking. I just had to look.”

I pulled into the hotel parking lot and turned to him. “I love your mother more than my own life, but before Laney, I never could’ve loved her. I couldn’t love anyone.”

“So, Laney was your first love?”

“You could say that, but it wasn’t that kind of a relationship.”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed as he got out. “You make no sense.”

I smiled. Good. I didn’t want it to make sense. I got out and grabbed the pizzas in the back before heading up to the room. Noah had run ahead and disappeared into the stairwell when I walked into the lobby. I grabbed the elevator like the old man I was becoming and gave him a few moments with his new information.

It wasn’t a lot, but I hadn’t told him about any of my past other than I had some issues with addiction. I didn’t want him or any of my kids to travel down that same road, so I was honest about how hard it was. Thankfully, they seemed to listen.

Maggie was waiting in the hall just outside the door when I stepped off the elevator. I smiled at her and shook my head. She still took my breath away no matter how many times I saw her.

I pushed the door open with my hip and held the pizza boxes out for Noah to take them. I was sure the kids were hungry. I was hungry, too, but for a very different thing. I grabbed Maggie’s face and kissed her.

“I was going to tell you.”

“Oh, yeah?” She smiled and put her arms around me. “I like being back home where you don’t have an ex to pop out from time to time.” She kissed me again. “What happened?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I walked in and saw Noah with this woman’s hand in his while, who I thought, was her date sat across from her. I was proud my boy was going after what he wanted no matter what, but then I walked up and it was Laney.”

“Did you talk?”

I nodded. “Yeah, just for a moment. She looked good. She looked really good. I think she’s as happy as we are.”

“I’m glad for her. I’m glad her family is doing well.” Maggie caressed my face and ran her thumbs over my cheeks. “We knew she was doing well, though, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, yeah. We knew they stayed together and got married after what happened, but I don’t know.” I put my hands on her hips. “She’s just as happy as we are. That matters.”

Our fourteen-year-old daughter, Mia, opened the door. “Are you guys standing out there all day? I wanna hear about the ex Dad ran into.” She looked at me. “Noah said you were an asshole.”

Maggie pulled me down for a quick kiss before whispering, “You can be my asshole any day.”

“Wow, Mom, that’s so romantic.” Mia walked back into the room while Maggie and I laughed.

I followed Maggie in and watched her as she crawled onto the bed next to Mia. They always shared a pepperoni pizza while Noah and I shared a supreme. He was on the other bed with one leg hanging over and his foot on the floor. He wasn’t staying. He had a dorm to get back to, but he was getting his free meal while we were there.

I looked at my family with more pride than I ever had before. The road through hell was rough to get to them, but it was worth it in the end. Laney may not have been my first true love, but she did teach me who that should’ve been.

Me.

Without love for myself, I could never have learned how to love others. I still struggle with it some days, but all I need to do is look to my family. They make me a better man and remind me what I have to lose if I ever lose me again.