TWENTY-ONE

 

 

It was always a bit nerve-wracking for Justin, turning one of his songs loose on the world. But it was time. If he poked at this song any more than he already had, it was going to be a huge mess. Besides, Ken had wanted it done before his sister’s wedding, and that was still half a week away.

Lester had been there before, but he’d stormed off, a distinctly grumpy look on his face which seemed to Justin to mean good things for him. For whatever reason, it had become very clear that Lester wanted him gone, and if Lester was grumpy, that meant that he probably hadn’t figured out a way to get rid of Justin just yet.

The run-through had gone very well. Justin had written so many songs for this group, and he really thought he was getting a hang for their style, for each of their individual voices as well as for the way they blended.

Justin smiled as the group broke away from each other, Aaron to stand alone, as always, Lance and Jamie to cuddle together and whisper softly, as sickeningly cute as ever, and Ken, well, he made Justin’s heart ache as he approached Justin and even brushed their lips together in a brief, but unhidden, kiss.

“Hey. That sounded good,” Justin admitted, and Ken grinned at him, one hand resting sweetly on the slight curve of Justin’s hip. There was something so deeply intimate about the moment, or Justin would never have been able to say what he did next.

“I was thinking,” he plunged in, probably too abruptly, too out of nowhere, but if he didn’t say this, it was going to drive him crazy. “About the wedding. I could go with you if you want. Your mom doesn’t scare me.”

Damn it. His tone had come out far too flippant, and he had to hope that somehow Ken could read what he had wanted to say, which was that he wanted to go. He wanted to show Ken’s family that this thing was really, really serious, that they were together.

Instead, it had come off sounding too casual, and Ken’s eyes narrowed just a little at him before he shook his head.

“No way, babe. I’m not going to ask you for that.” And then, before Justin could correct himself and tell Ken that he very much wanted to go and that he would be happy to, Ken kept on speaking. “I’m just going to go alone. But I did want to ask you about something.”

Justin let an eyebrow raise in silent question, not trusting himself to speak. That was the second time he’d tried to let Ken know that he wanted to go, and the second time that he’d completely fucked it up. He was definitely on a roll, and if he said something, he was sure his disappointment would show in his voice.

“So how would I get tickets to Jade’s performance? You still want us to get her hair and makeup done, right?”

There was so much casual, easy assumption in those words. The same assumption which had, undoubtedly, led Ken to invite Jamie and Lance to Justin’s house without checking with Justin. And yet, Ken had decided to go to the wedding alone, without really even bothering to tell Justin about it.

“Oh, uh.” Justin fought to keep his own voice casual, but he thought that it shook just a little bit. Well, hopefully Ken didn’t notice that. “Actually, I’m going to get a makeup artist to do it. You guys don’t need to bother coming.”

There was a long, long moment of silence, but when Ken’s face changed, his cheeks flushed, and real, sincere anger came into his eyes, it was all very sudden.

“What the fuck? You think that I don’t want to come?” Ken’s voice was loud, too loud. Justin was acutely aware that Jamie, Lance, and even Aaron, were looking over at them, but Ken either didn’t know or, more likely, he didn’t care. “You’re just gonna push me out of that, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Justin might not have as much of a temper as Ken did, but he did have one, and when it was roused it burned hot. “Who pushed who away? You don’t even want me to come to your sister’s wedding with you.”

It sounded so trite, so immature, and it probably was. This was what he got, he figured, for getting involved with someone at least ten years younger than him.

“I didn’t think you wanted to go!” Ken’s voice was rising more and more by the word, and Justin winced. The last thing they needed was an audience for this fight, more than the one that they already had, that was.

“Well, maybe I would want you to go,” Ken growled, “If you seemed like you wanted to be with me at all! But you can’t trust anyone, Justin. You just push everyone away, so how the hell am I supposed to know if you want to come to my sister’s wedding or not?”

That seemed so supremely unfair to Justin that he forgot any momentary notions of trying to calm Ken down. Instead, he faced him down, pulling himself up to his full height and still a little bit infuriated that he was still so much shorter than the other man.

“Maybe I would want to come to your sister’s wedding if you could take anything seriously,” Justin’s voice was a low, soft hiss, but it was every bit as furious as Ken’s was. “But you’re such a fucking flake. I should never have gotten involved with a kid like you.”

The words echoed between them, and Justin froze in place the moment they left his lips. It was only then that he noticed that the door was open and that Ken and the rest of the Lost Boys were staring behind him.

“Okay, that’s it. Justin, we don’t need you anymore.” There was this sense of smug satisfaction to Lester’s voice as Justin slowly turned to face him, and the red which tinged his vision was suddenly not so much replaced with panic, but mixed with it. It was a sickening combination. “You’re done. More trouble than you’re worth. We won’t be working with you again. Now get the hell out, you’re not welcome on this property anymore.”

There was this tone to Lester’s voice, one that Justin, even through his rage and fear, found odd. A sense of arrogant pleasure, selfish and as slick as oil, laced through Lester’s words.

“Good. I’m done with you guys, anyway,” Justin managed and then pushed past Lester, shoving him out of the way enough that he could get to the doorway. He had to get out of there. Despite his words, he could barely breathe, and that only got a little bit better when he got out into the hallway.

Just like that, everything that he had been scared of had come true. He had lost his main source of income, and he would have to find another one, which could take time. His finances would go back to being somewhat uncertain, and there would be no time for relaxation anymore, he knew how this went.

On top of that, he had lost something that he had grown to depend on far too much. Ken. Of course, he always should have known that he would lose Ken, because what would someone as young, as beautiful, as talented, as completely out of Justin’s league as Ken was want to do with him?

There was no way for him to deny that it was tears that burned his eyes as he ran through the building, ignoring the elevator to taking the stairs so rapidly that he almost pitched himself right down them.

Tears, for everything that he had lost, and he wasn’t even sure that he could say it was anything but his own stupid fault. He’d let himself have hope, and really, he always should have known better.