FOUR

 

 

Well, that had certainly been interesting.

Being trapped in an elevator should be scary, Ken supposed, though he hadn’t actually found it that bad. At the very least, it should be tedious, but it hadn’t been that, either. Not with Justin there.

How had Justin escaped his notice until now? How had he never seen anything but a moderately cool guy? Oh, he had known that Justin was talented. The songs that he’d written for the band, especially the ones for Darien, and then Lance and Jamie, had been beautiful, but Ken had never really seen Justin.

Well, he had seen him in that elevator, and what he had seen had actually sort of shaken him. In ten minutes, Ken had felt more different emotions than he was used to feeling in a whole day. There had been curiosity, and then anger, bright and hot but at least familiar. And then, following on the heels of that anger, there had been desire, the almost overwhelming urge to grab Justin and kiss him and demand that he take those cruel words back.

Which was more than a little bit confusing. But then, it had been so long since Ken had really felt anything, and probably, in some deep, dark corner of his psyche where he didn’t like to look too much, he was getting desperate. What would it be like, he couldn’t help but wonder, to be the object of Justin’s intense gaze? To feel those arms lock around him?

Not that he was ever going to know. Anger was safer, and Ken decided he would focus on that. It wasn’t really that difficult, anyway. Justin thought he knew so much about Ken’s love life, just like Ken’s mother. Justin thought he was an idiot for wanting to go after Aaron, but why did it have to be as hopeless as all that?

It didn’t. There was no reason for Ken to give up before he’d even tried, right? Right. So he walked away from the elevator, now several hours later than he was supposed to be, and down the hallway toward Lester’s office.

Justin was behind him, he supposed. Not that he cared. It was just that the man was a bit of an enigma to him. So quiet, but then suddenly so blunt, to the point of rudeness. Well, Ken, at least, knew when something was none of his business, and he pushed Justin out of his mind as he tapped quickly on the door before pushing it open.

The way the desk was set up, it partially faced out the window, toward the water, on a bit of an angle. Lester’s back wasn’t quite to them, but the way he was sitting, his profile was to the door, and the screen of his computer was partially facing Ken when he walked in.

Ken barely looked, but when Justin joined him, and he couldn’t even help but sneak a little look over at the infuriating man, he saw a deeply thoughtful look on Justin’s face. Lester, apparently surprised by their arrival, quickly slammed the lid of his laptop shut and then turned around in his office chair to face them.

“Nice of you to show up. Finally,” Lester’s tone was snarky, and Ken winced because he knew that he did deserve it. He was really very late.

“Where are the rest of the guys?” Ken asked, though, of course, he mostly meant that he wanted to know where Aaron was. Not that he would say that, not to this man, who had been pissed off enough when Lance and Jamie had hooked up very publicly. Lester had wanted to control what the public saw of their relationships, to orchestrate it, but he had pretty much given up on that, as far as Ken could tell. The Lost Boys hadn’t been interested in putting up with that for long.

Which was almost too bad, otherwise, he could have potentially asked for Lester to put him into a relationship with Aaron. But this probably wasn’t the time to ask, not when Lester was so mad, and chances were good Aaron would flat out refuse anyway.

“Downstairs practicing. Because they showed up several hours ago, when they were supposed to,” Lester informed them. Ken could almost swear he saw venom dripping from Lester’s lips, but again, it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it.

“Okay, man, why did you call us here?” Justin interrupted, and Ken smirked a little bit. Justin was much closer to Lester’s age and seemed to see him more as an equal than Ken would dare to.

“I got some bad news,” Lester informed them, still glaring at both of them. Maybe he would move on from how late they were and get to the point, but he clearly still wasn’t happy about it. “The Lost Boys are well on their way to being bankrupt.”

Ken blinked, his brow furrowing as he tried to figure that one out. Even with a few seconds of thought, though, it still didn’t make any sense at all.

“I don’t get it. Our sales are high, our songs are some of the most played on radios and everywhere,” Ken protested. “We sell out every venue you put us in. How could we be losing money?”

Justin didn’t say anything. He had lapsed into a thick silence, one that Ken didn’t even know how to start to penetrate. So Ken looked at Lester again, arching an eyebrow.

“Because we’re spending more than we’re making,” Lester told them bluntly. “Advertising, that’s a big one, and we can’t get rid of that. Wardrobes, lighting, it all adds up.” Lester shrugged and then turned malevolent eyes on Justin, who was, for some reason, looking at the closed screen of Lester’s laptop. “Plus this son of a bitch isn’t exactly cheap.”

The comment was sharp, as pointed as a knife, and Ken glanced over at Justin, who just looked at Lester with a calm face. But that calm seemed to be a little strained when Ken looked closer. It looked like Justin was only just holding on to it, and with how Lester was acting, that wasn’t much of a surprise.

“You have something you’d like to say to me?” Justin asked, with more bravery, more courage, than Ken suspected he could find himself. At least unless he was in the grip of his temper, and then, he wouldn’t be nearly as restrained as Justin was. It was sort of admirable, really.

“Yeah. You charge too much, you’re late all the time, and half the time I can’t reach you when I need to,” Lester returned, apparently not particularly impressed by Justin’s nerve. “I think it’s probably best if we go our separate ways. We can find another songwriter, one who will charge a lot less.”

Ken couldn’t be sure of exactly what he was feeling. All he really knew was that this wasn’t fair. Something inside of him protested that injustice, no matter how weird things had gotten between himself and Justin recently.

“His songs kick ass,” Ken defended, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared Lester down. “Come on, you know he’s worth every penny that we spend on him. No second rate songwriter can take his place.”

Until he’d spoken, Ken hadn’t really known how protective he was of the other man. By the look Justin was giving him, he hadn’t expected anything of the sort, but Ken found himself completely in the dark about whether he approved or not.

“The band has a big enough name. We don’t need him anymore,” Lester said, and there was something strange in his eyes. Something that Ken didn’t understand. It seemed almost like the guy had some sort of personal stake in this, but then, why would he?

Lester was slimy, and really, it was enough of a reason for him to ditch Justin, just because he wanted to make some more money. After all, in Lester’s mind, surely Justin had already served his purpose?

“He hasn’t done his other two songs,” Ken said, flailing around, grasping desperately onto anything that he thought might bear his weight like a drowning man. “My song, and Aaron’s. They’ll make a ton of money, his other two did.”

Why wouldn’t Justin say anything? When Ken stole a little look at the older man, he saw that he looked strangely pale, and Ken could almost swear that he was shaking. He looked terrified, but why? He was a huge deal, and even Ken knew that Justin could go anywhere and have another job in ten seconds.

“… Maybe,” Lester allowed, and Ken surreptitiously nudged Justin, trying to will him to say something. But he remained silent, and Ken growled softly. What was Justin’s deal? Did he care about keeping this job or not? Ken was getting some mixed signals on that.

“Fine.” Lester turned to Justin, his eyes slightly narrowed as he looked appraisingly at him. The dude almost had dollar signs in his eyes, and it would almost be funny if the situation wasn’t so desperate. “You write me a hit song, and we’ll talk. Until then, you can consider yourself on probation.”

Still, Justin didn’t say anything. His lips, so full and generous usually, were set in a tight, hard line, and he gave Lester an incredibly intense look that Ken flat out didn’t understand, and then abruptly turned and left the room.

With a confused look back at Lester, who had this strange, tense, strained look on his own face, Ken followed Justin out. Now would be a good time for him to go join his friends, to get to the practice that he should be doing even now, but he couldn’t quite make himself when he saw how Justin was leaning against a wall, head down.

There was something about him that Ken found himself unable to look away from, now that his attention had been brought to it. Some sort of suffering, or so it seemed to him. But what did he know? No one had ever accused him of being the most observant person in the world.

“Hey, what’s up?” Ken asked, bouncing awkwardly on the heels of his feet, his eyes fixed on Justin. There was that shock when Justin raised his gaze, and his eyes locked with Ken, but Ken didn’t look away. Then again, he never quite seemed to be able to do so.

“I don’t know. That was weird.” Justin’s voice was a bit shaky and quiet, and Ken had to lean in, closer to him, to even hear him. Even so, he shook his head, confused by the comment.

“What was weird? We all knew Lester was a dick before now, that’s not exactly news,” Ken pointed out, but Justin shook his head.

“I don’t know. Didn’t you think it was weird how he slammed his computer shut when we walked in?”

Ken frowned, thinking back. Now that he considered it, yes, that had happened, though he’d brushed it off at the time as not important. Which it really probably wasn’t, he mused and then spoke those musings.

“Nah. He was probably just looking at porn or something. No big deal,” Ken decided, and the faintest trace of a smile rewarded him as it drifted across Justin’s handsome face.

“Ew,” Justin commented, and Ken laughed and nodded in agreement. The mental image, if one thought about it too much, was actually fairly nauseating. But the way that he and Justin kept looking at each other, that was just a little bit too good, really.

Slowly, Ken found himself moving forward until he was maybe just a hair closer to Justin than he probably really should be, at least if he were being smart about it. But since when had he been known for being smart?

Justin watched him, head tilted slightly to the side, and Ken couldn’t help but wonder what lurked behind those mysterious eyes. He didn’t really mean to shift even closer, but he found himself doing it, anyway, drawn to Justin in a way he couldn’t quite explain.

“I gotta go,” Justin abruptly said, breaking the spell, which was probably just as well. Ken, caught thoroughly off guard, stepped back, then watched as Justin walked away. What was going on with him, anyway? These weird feelings that he was having?

Why did he keep wanting to grab Justin and kiss him senseless?

“See you later,” Ken called after him, and Justin raised his hand without looking back and disappeared around a corner. Ken smirked when he noticed where Justin was going. He had avoided the elevator completely, heading for the stairs, instead, which Ken couldn’t exactly blame him for. Ken wasn’t exactly excited about the idea of going into an elevator right now, either.

Squaring his shoulders, Ken watched until Justin was gone and then shook his head to try to clear it. Something weird was going on with him. Call it spring fever. It was as good a term as any.

Well, he knew who he really wanted, and that was Aaron. Aaron just made way more sense than Justin did, at least for Ken. He had to admit though, if only very very quietly and only to himself, that whoever did manage to hook up with Justin would be pretty lucky.

Slowly, much more slowly than was usual for him, Ken headed to the stairs, pushing open the door that Justin had disappeared through just a short time ago. He headed down the stairs, his feet knowing where to take him, thankfully, because his brain was hundreds of miles away.

Even seeing Aaron couldn’t bring him back to himself. It wasn’t that his bandmate was any less beautiful, because he wasn’t, and he was even out of breath and shimmering with sweat, which ought to have been quite distracting.

But his mind kept drifting off, and even when his friends were chattering at each other, Ken barely paid attention. The only time he perked up was when he heard Lance and Jamie talking about how strange it was that Lester wanted to get rid of their songwriter, and how it didn’t make any sense.

Ken wasn’t sure that he could say anything without saying it far too emphatically, so he kept his mouth, for once, firmly shut. Lance looked at him curiously, but no one else even seemed to notice, which Ken figured was for the best.

He just had to get this weird thing out of his system. That was all, and it should be no big deal. He hadn’t been thinking about Justin this much yesterday, and he wouldn’t be tomorrow, probably. It was just one of those weird things. A crush, momentary at most, not anything to get all stressed out about.

Of course, it was today right now, and he was thinking about Justin, and he had never been all that good at restraining his impulses. As soon as there was a moment where Ken could duck away, he found himself with his phone in hand, tapping out a text message that he probably really shouldn’t have been sending at all.