Chapter Eleven

 

Quickly after Cash reassured me, I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to, but I’d had an emotionally exhausting day and needed a little nap.

Light tapping on the door brought me out of the comfortable slumber I’d fallen into. Then the bedroom door opened and I had to force my eyes open a tiny slit to see who was coming in.

“Hey, we made dinner if you guys are hungry,” Haley whispered into the room. She’d only slid her head through the opening. “Gemma looked wiped out when you guys showed up, so I thought she might need to eat.”

“Yeah,” Cash whispered back, then glanced down at me. He saw that my eyes were open a little. “We’ll be out in a minute.”

Haley softly shut the door behind her.

“You hungry?” he asked quietly, even though he knew I’d heard her.

I gave my body a nice long stretch and shit, did it feel good. It was like I hadn’t moved in hours, which I supposed was probably true. I hadn’t stretched like that in years because I don’t think I’d slept that well in years.

“I could eat,” I said with a smile.

Haley and Aiden had made burgers and fries. This should have terrified me.

Grease and fat and deliciously unhealthy everything, though they did include a vegetable. I decided that this was the first step to becoming myself. I was going to eat the burger, with cheese, and the fries. If I liked them, I would eat until I was full. And I would not force myself to run extra because of the added calories.

A slight shiver of excitement ran up my spine.

Right after we sat and began filling our plates, Cash rose from the table abruptly, leaving the three of us confused. He came back and motioned for me to stand. I’d taken a big bite of a pickle and I set the rest on my plate as I moved. Next, he pulled a sweatshirt over my head and down my body. The thing was gray and massive. It totally engulfed me, falling to my mid-thigh.

“You shivered. You’re still cold.” His hands cupped my face, then he leaned down, kissing me several times quickly. “Mmm. Pickles.”

I had to laugh. Now I tasted like pickles. That was funny.

I ate so much, I was pretty sure my soaking-wet jean shorts were not going to fit when I had to put them back on. Oh, man, that was going to be painful. They were cold and they were wet. And they were still in the tub in the bathroom, where I’d rung them out after my shower.

Everything was in there. My shorts, shirt, bra and panties. Doh. Anyone who went in there would see them in the pile. How embarrassing.

“Looks like the rain’s almost completely stopped,” Aiden said, looking at Cash.

“I’m going to head out and get Gemma’s tire changed,” Cash said back.

“You could take it to the garage and have Phil patch it.”

Cash was already shaking his head.

“It’s completely blown on the side wall. She’ll need a new tire. He won’t get to that until tomorrow, I’m guessing.” Cash looked over to me. “Can you do without your car until tomorrow afternoon?”

“Oh, sure. My job is next door to my house, remember? I think I can walk that far.”

Cash snorted.

Aiden stood, taking his plate to the kitchen. The boys all looked so similar. Dark hair, chocolate eyes… Of course, the twins were identical, so there was no question how much they were similar. Aiden and Cash even carried themselves alike, which might have been the case for them all. I couldn’t remember.

“Let’s go get her car,” Aiden said, grabbing his baseball hat off the hook near the door.

“You don’t have to go,” I said because I felt bad. He’d obviously been spending time with his girlfriend and my flat tire shouldn’t have ended that.

“It’s not a problem, Gemma. Plus, I don’t totally trust Cash with the truck.” Aiden tossed his brother a playful smirk.

“Fuck you.” Cash laughed back.

After a quick kiss to my forehead, Cash followed his brother out the door.

There I sat with Haley and I had no idea what to talk about. We’d chatted a little at his parents’ house, but that was it. She hopped up, taking her plate and glass with her, so I did the same.

“That’s how they are,” she said out of nowhere. I had no idea what she was talking about. She smiled. “Helpful. Aiden went with Cash because it’s what they do. They’re family and that’s how they act.”

I scraped plates into the trash while she put the glasses in the dishwasher.

“I thought my family was crazy close, but it doesn’t compare to theirs,” she continued. “And it’s not even in an overbearing way. It’s super weird.”

I continued with the job I’d given myself and took in everything she had to say.

“Like with Brennan,” she said. “He came out in high school and Cash and Aiden tried to find guys for him whenever we’d go out. It was ridiculous how bad they were at searching out other gay guys, but they didn’t care. Brennan was their brother. They were going to find the perfect person.”

“You knew them in high school?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Aiden and I were in the same class and we hung with the same group, but nothing ever happened between us.”

“When did you get together then?”

“Just over a year ago. He finally told me how he felt and honestly, I should’ve done it myself a long time ago. I was so stupid thinking I had to wait for him.”

We continued working on the dishes, but I noticed her looking at me then away several times. The way a person did when something was weighing on their minds. I waited. If it was important, she’d ask eventually.

“So you own a corporation?” She gave me a sideways half smile and I couldn’t help but smile in return.

“One-third of it anyway.”

“What’s that like?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel any different, but that’s probably because my cousin shoulders the majority of the responsibility. I’m trying to learn, though. But I still have a year of school left anyway.”

“Very cool.”

“You’re a nurse, right?” I asked as I folded the cloth I’d used to wipe down the counters.

She nodded.

“Do you love it?”

“I do.” She sighed. “I mean, sometimes I want to punch a patient in the throat, but I don’t do it. I work in the city and people are freaks.” If she only knew. “We should meet for lunch there sometime. There’s this little boutique that has fabulous clothes I think are right up your alley.”

She was extending an offer of friendship. Such a lame way to think about it, but guys weren’t the only place I was awkward. I hadn’t gotten super close to anyone, so it was pretty much across the board. Bianca and Bailey were easy because I had no choice there. They were going to be in my life. I was lucky that they didn’t suck.

“Sounds great.”

The guys were back soon after that. Haley and I spent those last moments on the couch talking and laughing. That girl was funny. But some of the things she saw at work turned my stomach. Nursing wasn’t for me.

Cash took me home right after. I offered to change my clothes first, but Haley scoffed at the idea of me putting wet clothes back on. She said I could return hers whenever.

When we got to my house, we sat out on my porch, sheltered from the drizzle that still fell from the sky. The earlier downpour had left puddles everywhere, but this light rain was the kind I loved.

It was cleansing.

“Sorry I hurried us out of there,” Cash said while drawing small circles on my hand. “I wasn’t supposed to be home tonight and Aiden had plans.”

“Yikes. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

He laughed loudly. “No worries. I’m sure he’s on his way to making them happen as we speak. I’ll just stay out later than we originally planned.”

“What kind of plans did he have?”

Cash cocked his head toward me, narrowed his eyes, and smiled slowly.

“Oh. Shit. Duh.” I slapped a hand on my forehead.

His chuckle dropped lower. It was sexy. Made me want to run my tongue up the length of his neck.

“Don’t worry about it. Usually we don’t care about who’s where, but once in a while he likes to have a night alone with his girl. Maybe that way he can be loud. I don’t know.”

“And you don’t?”

He glanced up at me and held my attention tightly.

“Ever want a night alone with your girl?” I punctuated the last words by nudging his leg with my knee.

“I do.” His eyes warmed me. He didn’t even have to touch me. “I didn’t used to care much, but I do now.”

Sirens went off in my head.

He was talking about me. This idea should have scared the hell out of me, but I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. I had so many questions that I didn’t know how to ask. Eventually, I’d find a way, but for now I’d focus elsewhere.

“Stay here tonight,” I said.

I didn’t think his eyebrows could have shot any higher than they did with the surprise on his face right there. I gave a little giggle in return.

“I’m just saying. If you want him to have the whole house tonight, then stay here. You don’t have to sleep in the room with me. I do have two other bedrooms, though I haven’t put beds in there yet and there’s also the couch.”

“Are you done?”

I nodded.

“I’d love to stay with you.”

I leaned into him. He wrapped his arm around me to pull me snugly against his chest. It felt good. Safe even. Sitting there passing the time as the rain pattered against the roof, sidewalk, anywhere it could touch. We were out there about forty-five minutes when I yawned. It’d been such a weird day that I was exhausted.

Pulling him by the hand, I got us both inside.

He locked the door without me asking and followed me up the stairs, holding my fingers tightly like he didn’t want to let me slip away.

I wasn’t going anywhere.

Inside my bedroom, I pulled a tank top and shorts out of the top drawer, sneaking some clean panties in there too since I’d taken my wet ones off at Cash’s house. But then I realized I didn’t have anything to offer him. Duh. I was a girl. I didn’t have guy clothes hanging around.

“I don’t have anything for you to change into for bed.”

“I sleep in my boxers anyway.” He pulled his shirt over his head and I lost the ability to speak.

I’d seen him in that state many times, but each and every one of them left me in awe. His hard chest that I now knew came from hard manual labor called out to my fingertips. I fought that urge.

Instead, I slipped into the en suite of my room to change. I’d get Haley’s clothes washed and back to her soon so they went into the hamper in the corner.

Cash’s sweatshirt came back out with me. I didn’t actually want to return it to him at all so I sat it on my dresser, hoping he’d forget all about it.

When I got back into the room, he was already under the covers with his hands folded behind his head, like he was waiting for me.

I supposed he was.

And right then I was incredibly happy that I had brushed my teeth. If nothing else, there was going to be some serious kissing going on. Without hesitation, I crawled in next to him. He immediately brought an arm down to pull me into him.

We laid there quietly for a long time.

I’d taken him by surprise once before so I decided to do it again. I pushed myself up so that I could reach his lips with mine.

He kissed me back for a few moments, then pushed me with his body until I was on my back and he was hovering over me, basically claiming my lips as his own. His tongue felt like silk against mine.

I moved so he could get even deeper. I knew I’d be tasting him for days.

It had never been like that in my life.

Finally, Cash pulled back. I didn’t want him to and I tried to grab the back of his head to keep him right there where I needed him, but he wouldn’t let me.

“I think we need to hit the steps with you,” he said, his voice deep and gravelly.

“What?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but it sounded pretty damn weird.

“The steps.” As if that cleared anything up. “Ok.” He blew air out slowly. “What I mean is usually when you’re a teenager you don’t hop directly to sex, right?”

I nodded.

“You hit the steps. Or the bases. Whatever. I think we need to do that with you since you probably didn’t have that before. So you can actually decide what you like and what you don’t. What do you think?”

I smiled widely. “I think that sounds great. So will you kiss me now?” I actually fluttered my eyebrows, which made him smile.

“I think we’ve mastered that,” he said. Holy crap, what did that mean? “Don’t freak out. Tell me to stop and I’ll stop. I promise. I won’t hurt you, Gemma.” He kissed me softly. “I love you.”

I should have said it back. It was the perfect opportunity, but my stomach turned at the thought of admitting that little nugget and having this end. I was already so damaged that I wasn’t sure I’d survive if I screwed this up. I knew I didn’t want there to be a time when he wasn’t in my life. I wanted what he was suggesting more than anything else and I wanted it with him.

Afterward, he studied me a few minutes, I assumed to make sure I wasn’t freaking out. And even though I was a jumping bean on the inside, I think I hid it pretty well.

I must’ve because he leaned in and kissed me again.

It was different right from the start and that made me nervous. It felt good, the best kiss I’d ever had actually.

His hands gripped my hips. We’d been there before. However, after letting me get used to his touch, he let his hands slide up my stomach, like they had once before, only this time they didn’t stop.

At least not until they rested at the line where my breasts met my ribcage.

I sucked in a breath. It’d been so long since anyone had touched me like that and it’d been since never that I’d wanted someone to touch me like that.

His hands stilled, once again letting me get used to the warmth of his skin against mine and maybe waiting to see if I was going to tell him to stop.

I wasn’t.

Even when the pleasant rippling low in my abdomen mixed with that feeling of anxiety.

I deserved this.

Cash for sure deserved this. He’d been so patient and understanding. Not a lot of guys would be that way, knowing some of the things I’d done. Shit, I might eventually have to tell him everything. I pushed that horrible thought away so he wouldn’t misunderstand my overthinking for freaking out.

When he pushed a little higher and let his thumbs run across each of my breasts I almost shot out of the bed. He chuckled into my mouth before abandoning the work he’d been doing there. All at once he pushed my tank top up and his lips trailed down.

Cash took one nipple into his mouth, sucking with what I was convinced was the perfect amount of pressure. Then repeated it on the other side. My fingers curled into his hair, not pulling him closer and not pushing him away. I wanted to touch him.

He squeezed and kneaded me before kissing his way down my stomach.

I let my eyes close and went with whatever he decided. That doesn’t mean I didn’t tense when Cash started to push my shorts and panties down my hips, then legs.

I did. But I forced myself to relax so he could get them all the way off.

I was basically naked in front of Cash and was more than fine with it.

He hovered above me, nudging his way between my legs. His boxers were still on, but his own excitement was very evident when he slid back up my body.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He dropped lower, letting his weight balance on one arm beside my head. “Just like this. You and me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful. I’m almost afraid you’re not real.” He brushed a thumb down my lips, taking the lower one with it before it popped back in place.

I wanted to have some sort of snappy comeback. Something sexy and flirty, something that would make him laugh. But I had nothing. Actually, I was pretty sure words weren’t forming in my head.

“Trust me?” he asked quietly.

I nodded, to which he smiled, then kissed his way back down my body.

His lips touched me gently on that magic spot between my legs. My body flooded with warmth. When he used his shoulders to push my legs open farther, every nerve came alive and I realized I was holding my breath.

To get some oxygen and stay coherent, I emptied my lungs. Then I loosened my legs so Cash could do what he set out to do. I was as nervous as a virgin on prom night. I’d done almost everything, but not once with someone who mattered.

This scared the shit out of me. Not just his head between my legs and the delicious feeling he was creating, but the anxiety of how damn much I wanted him.

Cash’s tongue touched me softly, running along my skin like he already knew the topography. My fingers curled into the sheet as he worked his magic.

I wanted to see exactly what he was doing, but I couldn’t get myself to. Maybe next time. Instead, I let myself get lost in the moment.

His touching and licking sent me to a place I’d never been.

Never thought I’d get to go.

But there I was being sent without any expectation of what he’d get in return.

Pressure built not far from where Cash hummed between my legs. My thighs began shaking. I knew what was happening, but it never had before.

Then my world exploded.

It literally exploded.

My muscles tensed and pulsated, which resulted in something prickling my sensitive skin. I moaned. No idea how loudly that came out, but I couldn’t care even a little bit. Cash placed a hand on my stomach to hold me in place until I came back down and my head stopped spinning.

Then his touching got lighter and he kissed the inside of my thigh.

I focused on breathing and memorizing exactly how I felt right then.

Cash was pure magic.