Chapter Nineteen

 

The plane ride home was quiet and uneventful. Sal made sure we were out of Chicago that afternoon, which got us back in Harbor Point right before dinner. The car dropped the six of us off and we all went to our respective houses.

Again, I could’ve guessed how Sal and Gio were going to work off the tension created by seeing our parents. It wasn’t a bad idea. Getting lost in the person you loved… yeah, there were definitely worse ways to spend the rest of the night.

Cash and I landed on my couch side by side with a groan, then sat quietly.

I couldn’t believe my luck where he was concerned. I wasn’t an easy person to be in love with. At least, I didn’t think so. He’d heard a lot about me over the last few days, but he was still there. Everything my mother had ever told me was wrong.

“I love it here,” I said with a sigh.

“I kind of love it here too,” Cash said back, staring down at me. “Actually, I used to only like it here, but now I love it.”

I gave him a little grin.

“So what do we do now?” I asked because I honestly didn’t know. I thought I was free before, but now I knew I was.

It was a relief.

It was exciting.

It was terrifying.

My parents were now in the past and Cash knew everything, saw every single ugly part of me, but loved me anyway.

Our last night in the hotel, he’d said he’d kiss away every bad thing that had ever happened to me.

I’d told him that was a big commitment. It could take forever.

He’d said he already knew that but was willing to spend the rest of his days making sure I was safe and knew that I was loved.

I wasn’t sure how I was so lucky to come across that man randomly around Harbor Point.

“Well,” he said. “My mom did text and say they’re having dinner together tonight if we want to join them. She wasn’t sure if we were back or not. We don’t have to, but a little Dante can sometimes put things in perspective.”

Yeah. Perspective. That was what we’d call Dante.

“I like the sound of that,” I said softly.

I didn’t think it was Dante that he wanted to give me perspective. More than likely, Cash being Cash, he thought spending time with his family, who were great, would help take my mind off the fact that I had a shitty one.

We quickly changed, then left for the farm. Cash said something about stopping at his house on the way home to grab some more clothes and I loved that it wasn’t even a question as to where he was going to be sleeping that night.

When we got to his parents’, he waited for me to come around the car so he could slip his arm around my shoulders as we slowly went into the house.

“You’re back,” his mother said, maybe a little more excited than she probably should have been.

I mean, it was us.

“We’re back,” Cash replied. “I’ll go grab a couple of extra plates.” He kissed the side of my head before releasing me to take a seat directly across from his mother. His dad was to my left while everyone else was down to the right.

“How was Chicago?” Mr. Waterford, Len, asked me. I still needed to get used to calling him by his first name.

“Uh…” I didn’t want to talk about it.

“It was fine,” Cash said as he came through the arch from the kitchen. “Navy Pier at night is awesome.” The tone of Cash’s voice told every single one of them that we wouldn’t be talking about Chicago anymore.

He set a plate in front of me, then one in front of himself, and handed me a set of silverware. We put food on our plates, chicken—I’d come to know that Mrs. Waterford made the best chicken ever.

“So you were able to make Cash behave in Chicago?” Dante asked, putting a huge chunk of white meat in his mouth.

“Pretty much.” I shrugged, even though I knew that wouldn’t be the end of it.

It was Dante after all.

“No ropes… or chains… super flexible prostitutes… ?” He let his voice trail off.

Cash stiffened beside me and I heard a fork hit a plate, which made me glance up at Lisa. She held her head in her hands. Dante was definitely the kid who gave her gray hair. Cash was about to lay into him, so I placed my hand on his thigh to catch his attention.

I gave him a small shake of the head. I had this.

“Now, Dante,” I started with a sweeter-than-sweet tone. “Your comments don’t bother me anymore.”

“They don’t?” He smirked over at me.

I shook my head.

“No,” I said. “I realize you’re a kid trying to find your way.” The “kid” part brought a scowl. “And I’m absolutely sure that one day when you finally convince a girl to touch your wittle wee wee, you’ll stop being so concerned with other people’s sex life.”

Everything happened at once.

Dante’s mouth dropped open at the same time Dakota choked on the drink he’d taken. Cash laughed loudly while Aiden and Brennan tried to keep their own chuckles under control, which they weren’t successful doing. Dalton still remained quiet.

My focus remained on Dante.

He took a deep breath like he was about to say something, so I raised my eyebrows.

He stammered on the first word, so I narrowed my eyes on him.

He huffed out a breath, so I cocked my head.

He had nothing. I’d finally shut him up without the physical violence of his brothers.

“Oh, yeah,” Haley said with a laugh. “She’s a keeper.”

No one could contain their laughter a minute longer. Only Dante sat there with a long face focused on his dinner plate. I mean, what could the kid do? I was pretty sure he wasn’t a virgin, but was he actually going to list his exploits in front of his parents?

I didn’t think so. And I’d been right.

Shit. His parents.

I turned with wide eyes to stammer out an apology, only to find Len with his hand clamped over his mouth trying not to let the rest of us see his smile while Lisa was eating again.

At least until she held a fist out for me to bump.

Cash leaned in, whispering against my ear. “I’ve never been this turned on in my life.”

I snorted. “How embarrassing for you.”

He pulled back, confused, so I glanced around the table to indicate that we were sitting there amongst his entire family. When he finally got it, he laughed again.

After dinner, everyone helped clean up. No one had to be asked; it was expected and I loved that no one complained.

Mr. and Mrs. Waterford excused themselves right away, saying that they were going to watch some television before they went to bed. As farmers, they went to bed super early, but even that seemed early for them. Dante and Dalton pretended like they were gagging and about to throw up and it made me think that their parents weren’t actually going to watch TV.

Aiden, Brennan, Dakota, Cash, the twins, and I went out onto the front porch. I didn’t know if that had been intentional or not, but it did seem to be coordinated. I guessed “watch TV” was a well-known code for something else.

As soon as we got out there, Dalton and Dante started out toward Dante’s car.

“Aww… you leaving so soon?” Brennan called out, which got him the middle finger over Dante’s back.

The brothers all laughed. Dante had been unusually quiet the rest of dinner, so I felt like he was leaving at least partly because of me.

He deserved it.

Brennan and Dakota sat next to each other on the porch, leaning against the railing, facing us. Aiden dropped onto the bench, which would leave room for Haley once she was done in the restroom and Cash sat in the only chair before pulling me onto his lap. The place I was very happy to be.

“No Double Ds?” Haley asked as she shut the door behind her, then made her way over next to Aiden. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she snuggled in beside him.

“Gemma scared him off and Dalton went too,” Cash said, running a hand over my shoulder, then down my arm.

“That’s why I said she’s a keeper.” The smile on Haley’s face couldn’t have been bigger.

“I agree,” Cash replied before kissing my cheek.

“But what the hell was he talking about, Cash?” Haley asked. “Ropes, chains, super flexible prostitutes… ”

The three men around us put their focus on me. Aiden and Brennan had been there when I’d told Cash he couldn’t tie me up. My face heated and I knew it wouldn’t be long before it was completely on fire.

The question was, what did I tell them?

Everything? Absolutely not.

Nothing? I didn’t think that would fly either and I wasn’t sure I wanted it to.

“Do I have to kill you, Cash?” Haley looked to me. I could see her out of the corner of my eye as I stared at the ground. “Do I have to kill him for something, Gemma?”

Cash said, “I didn’t do anything,” at the same time I said, “You don’t have to kill him.”

I loved that Haley felt enough for me that she would threaten to murder Cash if he’d hurt me in some way.

The hand on my hip gave a little squeeze. I could tell them. I could tell those sitting there what I’d been through and I was sure they wouldn’t judge me. But was that something I wanted out there? It’d be possible that his parents would find out.

The thing about secrets is that they’re only secret if you don’t tell anyone. Cash would never say a word, so the world could be oblivious. But at the same time, I kind of wanted this family to be mine. Could they be if I didn’t share myself with them?

I wasn’t sure.

I took a deep breath. I was going to tell them something. Not everything that had happened, but it was a part of me, a huge part of what had shaped me into who I was, so I wanted to crack the door open a smidge. I could always slam it back shut afterward and never speak of it again.

“Dante heard me tell Cash that he couldn’t tie me up.” I took a deep breath and looked her right in the eye. “Actually, everyone here heard me tell Cash he couldn’t tie me up except you and Dakota. You weren’t in the room.”

Haley narrowed her eyes on Cash, but he could only smile at the threat on her face. “You wanted to tie her up, dumbass?”

“No,” he said back through a clenched jaw.

I put my hand on his hand that was resting on my thigh to calm him down. I didn’t want a high level of anger to be his response every single time something like this came up. I understood it, but I didn’t want it from him or me anymore.

“Not him. Someone else did and I hated it and my therapist said I needed to tell Cash that he couldn’t do something I hated. And I’m an idiot because apparently I burst into rooms and blurt out ridiculous things before I make sure every single one of his brothers isn’t standing there to hear it.”

That felt better than it probably should have. Or than I thought it ever would.

Their silence, though… That didn’t feel so good.

I swallowed hard, waiting for one of them to say something. Anything would do. But preferably something that let me know my admission wasn’t going to make things awkward between us.

“So get your mind out of the gutter, harpy,” Cash finally said.

The silence must have been wearing on him too.

Still, they didn’t speak.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Listen, I know that was a lot of information, but basically, I have shitty parents. The shittiest. I wasn’t raised in a normal way and I’m getting past all of that, so I see a therapist. It isn’t a big deal.”

“How shitty?” Aiden asked, but he wasn’t looking at me; his eyes were on Cash.

Cash’s gaze was hard and definite, almost steely. Cash had already told me that he’d said some general things to Aiden. Nothing specific. But obviously, he’d said enough to make Aiden suspicious.

“The worst,” Cash said with a hard clip to his tone.

Aiden’s jaw clenched. I swore a silent conversation passed between the two of them.

My gaze jumped to my boyfriend. “You didn’t tell—”

“Of course not.” His eyebrows slammed down above his eyes, like he was offended I’d even ask, so I went back to addressing Aiden.

“If you want to know what happened, I’ll tell you. Eventually. But it’s hard and it’ll take time,” I said, locking eyes with Aiden.

He nodded.

“But I feel like based on the look on your face, that I should tell you that my dad didn’t touch me. It wasn’t like that. It’s fucked up, but even they had lines they wouldn’t cross. He didn’t touch me at all, as in I don’t even recall him ever giving me a hug or a simple pat on the back.”

“Gemma,” Haley said, coming to my defense again. “You don’t owe this group of idiots anything.”

She made me smile. Haley had my back.

“Idiots?” Brennan glanced over to her.

I’d gotten extremely good at reading body language out of necessity. It was a requirement with what my parents had me doing and to me it looked like he was about to launch.

Haley cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

That did it. Brennan hopped to his feet at the same time she did, but Haley was quicker. She cleared the railing on the porch, hit the ground on her feet, and took off with Brennan, then Aiden running after her.

“Sorry, baby. It’s an unwritten rule that we have each other’s backs.” Cash kissed my cheek again and then jumped to his feet, causing me to do the same when he was gone.

I heard Haley yelp twice before I started to laugh.

“What is wrong with them?” I asked Dakota, who was now on his feet and leaning against the column at the edge of the porch.

“They’re the best family I’ve ever met, Gemma. You and me… We’re lucky they let us be a part of it.”

“Yeah,” I agreed immediately. “Your family… ”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t sound like they were as bad as yours. Actually, my mom isn’t bad at all. My dad’s a fucking asshole that I haven’t seen in a long time. I prefer it that way.”

This time it was a blood-curdling scream I heard from the other side of the barn. I laughed and so did Dakota.

“Their mom told they’ve rough housed like this since they were kids. Poor Haley had no girls on her side. It was always the Waterfords versus her.”

“So you’re saying we should go help her?”

“Probably. This is the first time it might be a fair fight.”

“What happens if they catch her?”

“Depends. My guess is they’ll dump her in the water trough. They seem to like that.”

I gasped. “What? Let’s go then.”

Dakota and I both took off slowly. This was going to have to be a stealth mission and I was glad I’d put on tennis shoes before we’d come over. It wasn’t completely dark yet, so we had enough light to be able to see them, but that meant they’d see us too. He went one way around the barn and I went the other, quietly following the noises.

I slid in behind a large tree, where I could see Brennan and Aiden cornering my friend but they wouldn’t be able to see me. As I was about to make my move, strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me off the ground, like they had during the football game.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Cash asked against my ear.

“To help my friend.”

His head shook against my shoulder. “Nope. Aiden will take care of her. I think our time would be better served elsewhere.”

“Like?”

“Your bedroom,” he said against my ear. “Guys,” he called out. “We’re leaving.”

“Truce, truce,” Haley’s breathless plea came out loud and clear. The guys gave in so she could run over to where Cash still held me off the ground. “Unhand her, you Neanderthal.”

He let me slide back to the ground.

“Listen, if you ever need to talk, call me,” she said. “We can abandon these jerks and have some girl time.”

I wanted to answer, but couldn’t. My eyes were stuck on Aiden and Brennan sneaking up behind her with a large tub of water. Then I tried to call out to her but the words wouldn’t come, so instead, I jumped toward her and wrapped my arms around her.

The water was cold as it drenched the both of us.

“Shit, that’s cold,” Haley said after squealing. “I can’t believe you stepped into that.”

I shrugged a drenched shoulder. “We’re on the same side, aren’t we?”

Once they were done and their loud laughter was keeping them busy, she asked, “You did that so I wouldn’t be wet alone?” I nodded. “I think you might be my favorite friend,” she said.

I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up and burst out of my mouth as I started to shiver. The night had chilled enough that, with the cold-water shower we’d both gotten, goose bumps covered our skin and we were on the verge of chattering teeth.

“I’d say I hate these guys, but I can’t,” she said. “I just can’t.”

Dakota appeared with a large towel in his hands, which he wrapped around my shoulders.

“You should’ve stayed with me,” he said.

I smiled back and shook my head while he was still tucking the cotton around my body.

“That’s about enough there, big guy,” Cash said, finishing the job Dakota had started. I watched Brennan do the same with Haley.

“Dude, being gay means I get nothing out of touching your girl,” Dakota said back.

“Yeah, well, just in case,” Cash said with a chuckle. “All right. Now we’re really going.”

“Hey,” Haley called out as he dragged me to the car. “We need to plot revenge against these idiots.”

“On it,” I called back as I threw her a thumbs-up as Cash pushed me into the passenger seat.

As soon as he got the engine roaring, Cash flipped the heat on to warm me. I melted back into the seat and watched him drive. Watched the muscles in his arm tense and release as he turned and gripped the steering wheel. There might be something wrong with me, but it was seriously turning me on.

“Are we stopping at your place to get clothes?” I asked.

“Nah. I can grab some tomorrow,” he answered as he pulled up to my house. “I think we need a nice hot shower.”

Nodding, I asked, “We?”

Every pleasurable spot in my body was screaming for him to say yes.

Cash gave me that great, soft smile of his, then shook his head slowly. “We.” Then he pulled the handle and pushed the door open.

Yes.

“Hey, Cash,” I said, grabbing his arm at the same time to stop him from getting out of the truck. The motor was off and it was sitting in my driveway. “I wanted to say something to you before we get inside and you distract me.”

“I do like to distract you.”

I swallowed hard and he turned toward me with nothing but concern on his face.

“What’s up, Gemma?”

I closed my eyes and let myself count to five before getting out what I needed to say. He needed to hear it and I needed to say it. If I had my way, Cash would be mine forever and he’d said the same thing about me.

Me.

The girl who’d been used and tossed aside. The girl who’d been taught from an early age that her only worth was in how she could use sex to get her parents exactly what they’d wanted. The girl who’d thought love was for fairy tales and people who weren’t her.

Me.

“I want to say thank you.” That did nothing to remove the confusion. “For letting me be part of your family. For not acting like I was completely ruined beyond worth.” I took another shaky breath because I could feel the burning behind my eyes.

I was going to cry and ruin it all.

But he needed to know not just how much he meant to me, but how much all of it did. Because while me and my issues were a package deal for him, he was a package deal as well. Only a good one. One that came with a loving family that would do anything to protect you.

“Basically, for loving me,” I continued. “Thank you.”

Cash brought a hand up to the side of my face. Instinctually, I leaned into him because the feel of his skin against mine was something I never wanted to take for granted.

“Gemma.” His thumb brushed my cheek. “You say that like I had a choice. When I saw you in the reflection of the door at the bookstore, I knew I had to meet you.” He leaned in and kissed me softly. “When you gave me that attitude in the store, I knew then that I could completely fall for you if you gave me the chance.”

He kissed me again. So gently, yet part of my body came alive that shouldn’t have been alive out in the driveway.

“I thank the universe every damn day that you gave me that chance,” he said. “When you needed time, I understood and was going to give you whatever you needed, but I walked around feeling like I was on the verge of vomiting every minute of every day that I didn’t see you.”

Another kiss. This one a little more than the last. He lingered for a good while.

“So you don’t have to thank me,” he said quietly. “I have to thank you for letting me in, for letting me love you.”

I couldn’t hold the tears back a second longer, but they were good tears. He was giving me something I’d never expected to have. Something I hadn’t even thought to hope for. He was my dream. The one I didn’t know I’d had until I’d met him.

“Now let’s get inside and put that shower to work.”

Cash pulled me out of the car through the driver’s side, impatient to get me inside.

I was equally as impatient to get him naked.