NICOLE

When I finally woke, Vidar was gone, and I couldn’t remember our sharing a bed at all.  I amused myself by thinking that it had been a pretty boring honeymoon night, but I had no complaints.

I made my way to the master bath and found a yellow sticky note on the mirror:

GOOD MORNING, MRS. NILSSON

I smiled.  I really appreciated the ALL CAPS notes from Vidar.  They always made my day better.  I brushed my teeth, pulled my hair back, got dressed and came to the kitchen to see Chloe sitting in a high chair with Vidar feeding her.  He’d come a long way since that exploding diaper day.  He looked completely competent as he calmly fed her rice cereal and some green pureed vegetable.  Chloe was in a good mood and smiled at me – a sweet smile with four tiny baby teeth.

I sat at the table with him while I ate my yogurt.

“Is that all you’re having?” he asked.

“That’s it.” I said cheerfully.  I knew that on the days Mrs. Perez didn’t cook, she left meals in the refrigerator for Vidar to warm up.  Now that I was here, there would be meals for me, too.

It was amazing to me how much my life had changed.

Vidar said, “What are you thinking about?”

“Now that the wedding is over, I’m wrapping my mind around the fact that I can do whatever I want.  I don’t have any real obligations.”

By saying “I do” I had instantly become a multi-millionaire.  I had gladly signed the pre-nuptial agreement that kept all the Nilsson companies and trusts within Vidar’s control, but no matter what happened now, I would never have to worry about money again.

He said, “That’s one of the most difficult aspects of being wealthy.”

“Boredom?”

“Finding a purpose.”

I said, “At least you’ve got Nilsson Technologies.”

“And you have school, right?”

I nodded.  “It will start back up in the Fall, and if I wanted, I could go full-time, but I don’t think I want to go full time, not yet.  I’d like to spend time with you and Chloe and figure out this next stage of my life.”

Vidar scraped the last bite of green goo out of the baby food jar with a tiny spoon, so he could feed it to Chloe.  He said, “If you have a philanthropic bent, you could talk with Selinda and see how she handles it.”

That was another amazing thing about marrying Vidar.  I had a new family now with cousins.  My old family – Gran’s brothers and distant cousins had never paid much attention to me.  I said, “Do you ever want to promote a cause, like helping people with Autism?”

I must have said the wrong thing, for he suddenly frowned and seemed to shut down.  After a moment, he said tightly, “I give some money to various organizations anonymously.  I don’t want to become the poster child for Autism.  I’d rather forget it, actually.”

“Sorry to bring it up.”

“No,” he said quickly.  “It’s my reality, but I wish I didn’t have to second guess myself all the time.  I don’t naturally pick up all the social cues.  I’m always wondering if I look weird or sound weird.”

“You don’t look weird,” I said.

He looked at me directly and raised one eyebrow inquiringly.

Very Spock-ish.

“Okay,” I admitted.  “Sometimes you’re a little weird, but aren’t we all?”

At this, he smiled and relaxed.  He reached over and kissed me briefly.  “Have I ever told you how much I like you?”

“Not today,” I said primly, which earned me another kiss.

I smiled.  Vidar and I were friends, but I could see that marriage was still a tricky business.

* * *

VIDAR

OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, Nicole and I settled into a good routine.  We often left each other notes on the bathroom mirror if no one else was home or in our sock drawers when staff was around.  We slept in the same king-sized bed which was a mixed blessing.  I had promised that I would not pressure her to have sex until she was ready, and so far, we had shared no more than kisses.  I enjoyed having her near me, but occasionally the situation was awkward.  Nicole was very circumspect when she was awake, but when she was asleep, she liked to snuggle.  More than once, I woke to find myself entangled with her.  I tried to treat the situation with humor, but even that could be challenging.

Out of respect for her, I now slept in shorts and a t-shirt rather than just in my boxers.  Nicole tended to wear silky long-sleeved pajamas.  No doubt she thought they were modest, but they had a habit of slipping off her shoulders or riding up to bare her midriff while she was sleeping.

It was a wonder I could sleep at all.

One morning I woke to find Nicole wrapped around me with her head on my chest and her hand behind my neck.  I tried to slide myself out of her embrace, but my movements woke her, and she looked at me with her bright blue eyes.

“Oh, sorry,” she said sleepily as she realized the position we were in.  She scurried over to her side of the bed again.  “Was I bothering you?”

“Not at all,” I said huskily, wishing that she would bother me more often.  But I was determined to keep my word.  I would be a gentleman even if it killed me.

“In my dream, I was kissing you,” she said with a little frown between her brows.  “Was I kissing you for real just now, or was that only a dream?”

Nicole probably didn’t want to know what we were doing in some of my dreams.  I said, “No, you weren’t kissing me.  I would have remembered that.”

She sighed.  “Good.”

“You don’t want to kiss me?” I teased.

“No, I like kissing you,” she said.  “But I want to be awake when I’m doing it.  And I don’t want to give you mixed messages.”

As much as I wanted to change our situation, I appreciated her honesty.  “Don’t worry.  I’m getting your message loud and clear.”

She smiled.  “And what message is that?”

I reached over and touched her lips with my fingertips.  “Kisses only?”

She nodded, her eyes wide.  “For now.”

I groaned and rolled out of bed.  “Then I guess it’s time for another cold shower.”

She said, “I’m sorry.  Do you want me to sleep in the other room?”

“No,” I said.  I leaned over the bed to kiss her lips briefly.  “Because when you do change your mind, I want to be right beside you.”

She smiled.  “Have I ever told you how much I like you?”

“Not today,” I teased and would have gotten another kiss, but she held up her hand to stop me.  “Careful,” she said. “Or we’ll both need cold showers.”

“The shower is big enough for two,” I said, and she responded by throwing a pillow at me.

I considered that progress.

During the daytime, I spent most of my time strategizing with the lawyers for the custody battle and organizing moving Nilsson Technologies to Dallas.  I didn’t want to settle the company downtown at Nilsson Tower, but I didn’t know if I wanted to move it to Coppell where Nilsson Worldwide was located, or if I wanted to try Plano.  I loved my Uncle Theo and my cousin Philip who was his right-hand man, but I didn’t know if I wanted them as immediate neighbors.  Basically, I wanted a location with less traffic and sufficient infrastructure that wasn’t too far from the DFW airport.

While I was doing this, Nicole decorated our new house.  After reviewing her choices, we decided to go with a house on Swiss Avenue, a few houses down from Rick Boudreaux.  It was six thousand square feet, a four-bedroom, brick home built in 1924 and recently renovated.  It was a good deal at three million, so I bought it and she would decide new colors, furnishings, etc.  Until it was finished, we would all live in Nilsson Tower.  And later, if we wanted another house closer to my ultimate office, we’d buy one there, too.

Chloe was growing rapidly.  She’d learned to crawl, and we had to be extra watchful because she wanted to put everything in her mouth.  She now ate many kinds of pureed food – mostly fruit and vegetables – and scrambled eggs.

She also babbled, and Nicole thought she was saying “dada” and I thought that was creative listening.  I did notice that Chloe liked to put things together, like stacking cups and putting shapes into a puzzle ball.

There were times when I watched her that my heart would ache knowing that Gareth and Yvonne were missing her developmental milestones, but I consoled myself with the hope that perhaps they could watch her from heaven.

If there was a heaven.

I had been loosely raised to believe in God and a hereafter, but I was also a man of science.  There was no real evidence of God, unless one accepted the arguments of intelligent design.

Nicole had more faith than I did, and she wanted to raise Chloe in the church, which was fine with me.  At night, I often saw Nicole kneeling beside our bed, praying silently.

When I asked her what she prayed for, she said, “Primarily safety.  I pray that God watches over you and Chloe and protects you.”

I thought that was sweet.  “I suppose I can start praying for you, too.”

She smiled.  “Would you really do that?”

“Sure.”

At the time, I had no idea that my prayers would so quickly be put to the test.