NICOLE

Vidar didn’t wait for me to respond.  He just turned abruptly and left my apartment, slamming the door behind him.  By the time I opened the door, he was almost to the elevator and I knew from his closed expression that he didn’t want to talk to me, so I stepped back into my apartment and sank down onto the couch.

Gran sometimes said she felt as if she had been run through the wringer and hung out to dry, and until this moment, I did not know what she meant.  But now I did.

So much had happened in a short time – the dinner, the proposal, the kiss, and now, his outburst about being Autistic.  It was almost too much to process.

My first reaction was anger at Vidar’s parents.  How dare they send that sweet boy to a boarding school?

His dad didn’t care, obviously.  He was too busy messing around with DeeDee.  I didn’t like her either since she was trying to take Chloe away from him.  Saying he wasn’t capable of caring for Chloe!

And his mother!  Granted, she had her issues and she was grieving over the loss of her dead son, but Vidar’s comment about his brother being the Perfect Son, made me think they had seen him as the defective one.

It made me furious.

I wanted to tell him that I didn’t care about any stupid label.  He was a brilliant, wonderful, kind man.  And if he’d overcome difficulties to get where he was today, more power to him.  People should admire him instead of putting him down.

But I also knew the pain of rejection.  My mother hadn’t taken care of me, and kids at school used to tease me for wearing worn and out of style clothes.

As I thought back over our dinner conversation, I was appalled by my smart aleck comment to Vidar about money solving all his problems with a snap of his fingers.  What did I know about the sorrows he’d experienced?

Nothing, apparently.

So, what should I do?

Vidar wanted to marry me, but what did I want?

I didn’t want him to lose custody of Chloe, but could I marry him, eventually sleep with him, possibly have his children?

After my engagement to Mr. Lindsey blew up, I had abandoned my dream of having children.

But now, everything was possible.

And that kiss.

Wow.

Never in my life had a man looked at me so tenderly as if I was the most wonderful woman in the world.  I nearly swooned.  And when he said, “Well?” my first thought was ‘where have you been all my life?’

To think that I might have that man – and those chiseled abs – in my bed for the rest of my life?

I rubbed my face with my hands as if I could rub some sense into my head.

Vidar didn’t think my family would be a problem, but I knew my mother would be a problem.  As soon as she thought I had money, she would come with her hand out.

And I didn’t look the part of a billionaire’s wife.  I was very ordinary, and I was afraid that after the custody battle was over, Vidar would regret choosing me.  I was nothing like the willowy Yvonne had he had crushed on when he was younger.

But I guess if I was married to him, at least I could afford to have someone apply my make-up and design a wardrobe.

I laughed at myself.  It seemed so improbable, and yet it was true.

Vidar Nilsson wanted to marry me.

I wished that there was someone I could talk to, someone who could give me advice.  I couldn’t talk to Brooke.  I would call Amanda, but I didn’t think Vidar would want me to tell anyone what we were thinking about doing.

That left God as the only one who could help me, and I hadn’t prayed in a long time.  Gran had raised me right, but over the years, I had fallen away from some of her teachings.

I sighed.  If I ever needed wisdom, I needed it now.

I got down on my knees, closed my eyes and bowed my head.

Dear God.  I am sorry it has been so long, but I am here now . . .