NICOLE

It was our first fight, and it was a doozy.  I could tell that I wouldn’t make anything better by trying to talk to Vidar, so I just walked back to the house, got my purse and walked quickly to my Toyota and drove off.  I knew that Brooke would take care of Chloe, and Vidar would decide what he wanted to say to DeeDee.

I still felt terrible after being tasered.  My muscles ached, and I knew I didn’t have my complete mental capacity.

I drove around for an hour, debating on where to go.  I would have gone to Nilsson Tower, but I didn’t want Vidar to find me just yet.

He wasn’t the only one who needed to process things.

I checked myself into a nice hotel – not Nilsson – and went to sleep.

When I woke a few hours later, I discovered that I’d drooled on the pillowcase and I looked terrible with wild hair and circles under my eyes.

I checked my phone and there were no messages.  No calls or texts from Vidar.  And it was after seven p.m.

That was a bad sign.

What was I supposed to do now?

I didn’t really think he meant that ‘I never want to see you again’ line, but what if he did?

He’d warned me multiple times that communication was not one of his strengths, but I had never anticipated that something bizarre like DeeDee trying to kidnap Chloe would tear us apart.

Again, I wished there was someone I could talk to, but even if I did have a female friend I could dump on, I wouldn’t want to complain about Vidar – that didn’t seem loyal.

Over the years, I’d had many friends who told me about their boyfriends’ or husband’s faults, including affairs or addictions, and our friendships had always suffered later when they eventually forgave their men and took them back.

Was I supposed to be happy for a woman who took back a cheating scumbag or a manipulative alcoholic?

Not that Vidar’s angry outburst was the equivalent of either.  He was a good man in a difficult situation.  But I didn’t want to parade his weaknesses before the world.

And heaven knew I wasn’t perfect either.  I couldn’t believe I hadn’t recognized DeeDee.  I’d seen various small pictures of her online, but apparently, they hadn’t been clear enough for me to recognize her at the gym in a swimming cap.

I kneeled beside the hotel bed and prayed out loud.  Dear God, I need thee.  I need wisdom.  I thank thee for my husband Vidar.  He is angry, and I don’t know how to make things right.  Please comfort his mind.  Help him to see that I love him.

I stopped short.  Where did that come from?

Did I love Vidar?

As I thought about him, imagining him standing before me, my heart was filled with warmth.  At that moment I knew – yes, I did love him.  And this was a strong, mature love, not the foolish infatuation I’d felt for Peter years ago.

I genuinely loved Vidar and wanted nothing but good for him.

Wow.  I was blessed with a second, no third, chance at love.

No wonder his words hurt me so much.

I continued with my prayer.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to text or call, in case that makes it worse.  Should I wait for him to contact me?

I paused and waited, listening quietly for some hint of inspiration.

I thought of a line from our marriage vows.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Okay, I could see the wisdom in that.  Vidar and I were husband and wife.  I should not run away.  I should give us a chance to make things right.

Thank you, Lord.

After I prayed, I took a shower and then ate a nice meal at the hotel restaurant.  I was not in a hurry, and I wanted to be calm when I returned home.

I drove back to the house on Swiss Avenue and parked in front.  Not many lights were on.  When I came inside I straightened my shoulders and called out, “Vidar, are you home?”

No answer.

I walked through the house and found Mrs. Perez finishing cleaning in the kitchen.  “Is Vidar at home?”

She looked nervous.  “No, ma’am.”

“Did he say when he’d be home?”

“No, ma’am.  He also took Chloe with him.”

That made sense because Brooke would have gone home by now.  “Thank you,” I said.

“Do you want anything to eat, ma’am?” she asked.

“No, thank you.”

I went upstairs to the master bedroom alone.

* * *

AFTER TWO DAYS OF NO word from Vidar, I decided that someone had to talk, or we might be separated for years.  I texted him the following:

Am I still in the doghouse?  We need to talk.

A few minutes later, after I’d nearly chewed off all my fingernails, I received the following:

Are you at home?

I answered:

Yes

His response:

On my way.

I was relieved to finally speak with him, even if it was only by text, but oh, how I wished that he had put a smiley face on at least one of those lines.

I changed my clothes twice and paced back and forth in the master bedroom, waiting for him.  I had no idea what ‘on my way’ meant timewise, because I had no idea where he had been.  After half an hour, I looked out the front windows and saw Vidar’s driver approach the house.

I steeled my courage and walked downstairs to meet him, praying silently for help.

Vidar walked into the house and handed Chloe to Elizabeth.  I’d told her to come every day, even if Chloe wasn’t home because I did not know when she would be home.

When Vidar saw me, his face grew pale.  “Hi.”

“Let’s talk privately upstairs,” I said and we both walked back upstairs to our bedroom and he shut the door.  Elizabeth and Mrs. Perez must know that something was going on, but I didn’t want them to hear all the details.

He said, “Can you forgive me?” just as I said, “I’m so sorry about DeeDee.”

“No,” Vidar said.  “Let me talk first.  You have nothing to be sorry for.  I overreacted.  And then I yelled at you and sent you away.”

I said, “I came back and then you were the one that was gone.”

He nodded.  “I know.  I handled the situation all wrong.  I couldn’t believe that you were working with DeeDee.  For an instant, I thought you believed all those things she’s said about me.  That I was an incompetent parent.  That somehow you married me just for the money.  That you would let her take Chloe.”

It was worse than I thought.  “You really thought all that?”

He said, “I know.  It doesn’t make sense, and once I could calm down and think logically, I knew I had misjudged you.  Then I was afraid you wouldn’t want me back after I’d been such an idiot.  I wrote half a dozen letters, begging you to forgive me, but I didn’t know where to send them.”

“Really?”

“I’m better on paper than I am in real life.”

“I disagree.”  I held my arms open and he walked into them.

“Oh Nicole,” he said as he held me close.  “I love you, and I never want to lose you.”

He loved me?  Really?  “I never want to lose you, either,” I said tearfully.

We kissed, and I knew I was finally where I belonged.  I ran my fingers through his thick hair, pushing it back from his face.  I looked deep into his eyes and said, “But I never want to go through that again.  If we’re angry, we need to talk, not run away.”

“Agreed,” Vidar said kissed me again.

“We need to be a couple that never lets the sun go down on their wrath.”

Another kiss.  “You’re right.”

After a few more kisses, we were sitting on the bed and I pushed my hand against his chest.  He pulled back to look down at me.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly.  “As much I want to keep kissing you, I need to know what happened with DeeDee.  Did she withdraw her petition?”

“Yes.  I sent a detective to the gym and he found several eye-witnesses who saw her take Chloe and taser you.  We have their sworn statements.  We could press criminal charges and she knows it.”

“So Chloe’s safe.”

“Yes.”

I let my breath out slowly.  “Excellent.”

“You’re what’s excellent,” he said, punctuating each word with a kiss.  “and I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I appreciate you.”

I liked this amorous Vidar very much.  “Do you still have the letters you wrote?”

“Why?”  Another kiss.

“I want to read them.”

“I destroyed them all.”

“Oh no.”

“Don’t worry,” he said as he continued to kiss me.  “I will write you a hundred more.”