Chapter Twenty-Four
“WALK WITH ME.” Parker reached for Grayson’s hand, and they walked to the end of the bluff with Christmas by their side. They’d returned to pack Parker’s things for her flight home and were due to leave for the airport in twenty minutes.
It had been four days since they’d met Sarah. Four days since he’d made the phone call that set his secret plan into action. Four days since guilt had begun eating him alive. He’d tried to bring up the DNA test every day since he’d made the arrangements, and again last night after their friends had thrown Parker a goodbye party on Cahoon Hollow Beach. They’d had a bonfire. Sawyer had played his guitar. They’d laughed and danced, and Parker had hugged the girls so many times, he’d half expected her not to leave.
He’d tried to bring up the test again yesterday evening, but it was their last night together for a few weeks, and he couldn’t do it. If the results were negative, she’d never have to know, and telling her would only make her worry. But if they were positive, she’d have the family she’d always wished for. He was doing the right thing, or at least he thought he was, but the guilt of keeping a secret from Parker was killing him.
“This is where you first kissed me.” Parker turned to face him. Her smile reached her eyes, radiating in the reflection of the sun. She was dressed to the nines, in a classy skirt and top with sky-high heels. Beyond gorgeous, she was back to the Parker Collins the world knew and loved. But he saw more than what everyone else saw, and he’d fallen in love with all of her—the Parker Collins that was just as much a down-to-earth woman as she was a famous actress. The way she could morph into her public persona in the blink of an eye or cuddle beside him on a sandy beach in a pair of shorts, with her hair in a ponytail and no makeup. He loved hearing her on the phone with directors and actors and her agent and Luce, moving between personalities with the grace and expertise she’d used to build her fabulous career.
The sound of the bay floated up from below, and behind her, Christmas bounded across the grass after a bird. They were his life now. In just a few weeks they’d become the most important parts of his life. How could they be leaving?
He drew her against him. “Sweetheart, was the kiss in the elevator that forgettable?”
She shook her head. “But I meant really kissed me, like I was yours.”
She had him there. In the elevator, he was still hoping. Now he knew.
“Christmas will miss you,” she said softly.
“You won’t?” He fought against the claws of guilt trying to pull him away.
She held up her finger and thumb less than an inch apart, laughing as his mouth descended on hers, and he kissed that laugh right out of her, reveling in her warmth, her taste, her eagerness. When they parted, she had the look of love in her eyes he saw in his dreams. And it was that look that brought guilt so crushing he could barely breathe.
“I already miss you,” she said.
Tell her. Just tell her. “Hm?”
“I already miss you. Are you okay? You look a little green.”
“Yes. No.” He couldn’t let her leave until he came clean, no matter how good his intentions were and regardless of the results not being in yet. He was beginning to think he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.
“No?” Her brows knitted.
He extracted his hands from hers and scrubbed a hand down his face, wishing he’d never made the call—and in the next breath, knowing that if the results were positive, he’d definitely done the right thing.
“Grayson, you’re worrying me.”
Conflicted didn’t begin to describe the way he felt, and now the worry on Parker’s face made him feel like he’d swallowed a pound of lead.
“I’m sorry, baby.” He reached for her hand, and she trustingly took it, which made this even harder. “I have to tell you something, and I should have told you days ago, but I couldn’t. I know you didn’t want to pursue the idea of Miriam being related to you.”
“Grayson?” She shook her head.
He tightened his hold on it. “I know you didn’t want to pursue it because you were scared of having false hope and you want Sarah’s daughter to be alive. But, baby, sweetheart, all you’ve ever wanted was to have a family, and no matter how remote the chance, I couldn’t let it go.”
She tore her hand from his and crossed her arms. Her eyes narrowed with fear and anger and hurt that cut like a knife. “What did you do?”
He held her gaze, owning the pain and accepting her anger, and gave her the truth. “When we got back from Jersey I gave Caden your blue hairbrush, and he sent it in for a DNA test.”
“You…?” She stumbled backward, shaking her head. “I don’t understand. Why would you do that?”
He stepped forward, but she held up a hand, warding him off, and he reluctantly stopped. “I couldn’t let it go.”
“I told you to let it go. It wasn’t your decision to make.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, piercing his heart even deeper. “Did you…? Does she know? Sarah? Oh, poor Sarah.”
“No. Parker—”
“No, Grayson!” she shouted. Christmas sprinted over and stood between them, his big head moving back and forth, as if he didn’t know where his loyalty should lie. “I trusted you. I trusted you wholly and completely and you—”
He closed the distance between them. “I messed up big time, Parker, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t even going to tell you if the results were negative. You wouldn’t have had to worry at all.”
“Like that’s any better? Lying to me forever?” She spun around and stormed toward the house.
He kept pace beside her. “It’s not better, but I’m telling you now. I couldn’t live with the guilt.”
“Apparently you lived with it pretty well for the last few days.”
“No, it was killing me. But if the results are positive, then you have a family, Parker. You have a grandmother.”
She stopped cold and turned a lethal gaze on him. “I trusted you,” she seethed. “I told you I didn’t want this.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I should have gotten your permission.” In his head, he had done it for all the right reasons. Couldn’t she see that? “I hoped to find a family connection. Maybe I went about it the wrong way.”
“Maybe?” She scoffed and grabbed her phone from the patio table. “You should have told me sooner? I can’t deal with this right now. I need space. Time. You’re…” She shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Unbelievable?” Anger and confusion whirled inside him. This couldn’t be happening. He had to stop this fight, to make her understand, but he could tell she was way past understanding. He’d done this to them—to her. Something inside him snapped, and he was powerless to stop the words from coming out.
“Come on, Parker! I get that I messed up. I love you too much to cause you the anguish of false hope—and I love you too much to let go of the remote possibility of finding your family. It was wrong. I broke your trust. But I stand behind it, because I love you. I want to give you everything, but I couldn’t with you standing in my way. I had to go around you. Can’t you see that?”
She lifted her chin and drew her shoulders back, gaining composure in the righting of her spine and the unfurling of her fingers. “You won’t have to go around me anymore.” She punched a few numbers on her phone and lifted it to her ear.
“Parker…? What are you saying? I’m taking you to the airport.”
“No, you’re not. Goodbye, Grayson.”
THE CAR SERVICE showed up late and Parker missed her flight out of Boston. She was too upset to sit around an airport for hours and did what she’d sworn she would never do, and she didn’t care who saw her. A few phone calls later, she and Christmas were on a private jet, flying across the country toward the land of beautiful people and scenic beaches. To her secluded home in Malibu, her life, and back-to-back meetings beginning tomorrow morning. She had the airliner to herself, having told the stewards not to bother her, which was perfect, because she didn’t know how much longer she could keep up the act of diva actress.
Not very long, it turned out. As Boston faded away in the distance, tears tumbled down her cheeks. Christmas put his front paws on her legs and licked her tears away.
Perfect.
Flipping perfect.
She was right back where she’d started a month ago.
Only worse.
Now she knew what it felt like to be in love, and whether she liked it or not, she was truly, deeply in love with Grayson. He’d taught her that it was okay to be herself and to honor her sadness and grief without feeling bad about it. He’d respected her worries about her reputation, and he’d done his best to protect her. I’ll be your bodyguard. He’d brought her into his circle of friends and family, and he’d supported her in every single thing she’d gone through. Even Abe. And Sarah.
And he loved her dog as much as she did.
Christmas whimpered and rested his chin on her legs, looking up at her like he was missing Grayson, too.
“Stop it. We can’t miss him. We can’t trust him. He hurt us.”
Christmas lifted his head, and she knew he was waiting for more tears, but she refused to let them fall.
Unfortunately, Grayson had taught her how to move on, too.
This is my real life now.