Chapter 34

Kendra

He loves me? I never thought he would say that. There was no way I could have seen such a huge confession coming. What’s more, if I knew that it was coming, if I had been expecting it, then I probably would have freaked out. In fact, I knew that I would have. I would have made an excuse to go to the bathroom, maybe slipped through the window? I mean, who knew what I was capable of?

But the fact that he dropped it so suddenly and casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, caught me off guard. The words hit me but were allowed to sink in. They were allowed to settle over me and between us, giving us both a chance to see how such an emotion would fit. And the truth was, that it fit pretty damn well.

It just felt right. There was no awkwardness or oddness to the statement. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or strange. It didn’t make me want to run for the hills and never look back, or to go and leap into Chip’s arms in an act of self-destruction. No. None of that. It felt good and because of that, I knew that from then on, the two of us would be okay.

“Hey, do you mind if we go back to my place instead?” I asked as we made our way from the restaurant. The rest of that night had gone perfectly. The food was amazing, and Grant had even organized for a violinist to play for us during dessert.

“Your place? You don’t want to go to mine?”

“I would, but I’ve got work tomorrow, and all my clothes are at my place. It doesn’t make sense to stay at yours and then have to rush to mine tomorrow morning. Don’t worry, I don’t think we’ll be doing much outside of the bedroom anyway.”

For a moment there, I thought he was going to argue. It definitely looked as if he had something on his mind. But if he did, he decided against it as he offered me a curt nod. I smiled, giving his hand another squeeze. In response to this, he brought it up to his lips, kissing the back of my hand. “I do love you,” he said again, only this time more seriously.

“I know you do.”

--

The only alcohol I had at my place was half a bottle of vodka that I was able to pair with a bottle of warm tonic water. But, as it was still early, I poured each of us a drink.

“Ah, fancy,” Grant joked as he took the mug of vodka tonic from me.

“I try to be,” I said, sipping from my own ceramic mug.

“It’s funny,” he said as he walked around the apartment. “I can’t believe I’m back up here, in such cordial circumstances.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, truth be told, I thought that the two of us.” He shook his head. “I just didn’t think that we would ever be able to work it out. So many times, we got close only for something to happen. For something to mess it up.”

“I know what you mean,” I said, putting down my mug. As I did, I walked up behind Grant, wrapping my arms around him. I loved the way he smelled and the way he felt. Everything about him. I just wanted to hold him forever. And better yet, I was sure he wanted the same.

“You do?” he asked, turning around in my arms so that the two of us were face to face. He gave me a peck on my nose, and I wriggled it for him.

“Of course. All wanted was a second chance to prove that I could be trusted. I was starting to get worried that I wasn’t going to get it.”

“Well you got it, and you passed with flying colors.” His hands ran underneath me, lifting me into the air. As that happened, I wrapped my legs around his waist, kissing him deeply.

“Hey, Grant,” I said, as I pulled myself from his lips.

“Yes?” he asked, as he kissed my neck and chest.

“I love you, too.”

He didn’t say anything. Instead, he smiled with glee as he carried me over to my bed, laying me down on it. From there, the two of us became locked in each other’s arms as we kissed and fawned over one another. It was an odd sensation, but I was craving the feel of him inside me, or the feel of his cock in my mouth. I was enjoying just kissing and holding him as much as I ever had having sex with him. And I could tell that he was, too.

Maybe that was how you knew that you were in love? I had certainly never been before, and therefore, had no stick by which to measure it. So that’s what it must have been? Love.

“Hey,” Grant suddenly said, pulling his lips from mine. I was on my back, and he had one arm under me and the other on my thigh. “I need to tell you something. In the interest of second chances, and getting everything out in the open and all of that.”

“Sure thing,” I said, leaning up and kissing his neck. He was infectious, and I couldn’t keep myself from him.

“Now that you have me, I want you to know that what’s is mine is yours. You never have to worry about anything ever again.”

“Okay...” I responded, not sure where he was going with this. He looked a little nervous, truth be told.

“And because of that, you know that you don’t have to work at Luscious anymore—wait let me finish,” he hurried, seeing me about to interrupt. “It’s just that I feel like you’re too good for that store. It’s beneath you. And now that you have me, there’s really no need for you to work there ever again.”

“You want me to quit?” I asked, sitting up now. I had stopped kissing him, and he me. Right in that moment, I couldn’t have imagined anything I felt less like doing.

“Yes, I do.” His voice was serious, and the look he gave me told me that it wasn’t an option. Not to him anyway.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I protested. “It was only a few months ago that you came to me, pretty much begging me to take the job. And now you think it’s beneath me? What’s changed? Why are you—”

“Everything has changed,” he interrupted. As he did, he got to his feet, towering over me. Gone was the flirtatious, romantic mood that he was in before. He was getting angry. “We’re with each other now, and I don’t want you in a store where men spend the whole day staring at you, trying to fuck you.”

“I thought you said that you were done getting jealous,” I said, getting to my feet, the anger also washing over me. “I thought I proved to you that you didn’t need to be anymore?”

“Even if that is the case, I shouldn’t have to worry about you in my own store. You deserve better than that.”

“Don’t act like this is about me. It’s about you. It’s always been about you.” I was yelling, and I didn’t even care. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe how selfish he was being. It was insane. After all that we had been through that night.

“Fine, it is about me! Happy?” he admitted. “I don’t like seeing you there, and because it’s my store, I don’t want you working there anymore. Understand? Is that simple enough for you?”

“Wait. Are you firing me?” I had stopped yelling, and my voice descended into a low whisper, as if saying the words any louder would only make them come true. I didn’t want to believe that he would do such a thing, but I knew what he was like.

“Take it how you will,” he said firmly.

“I want you to leave.”

“Kendra don’t—”

“Get out!” I screamed, suddenly erupting. I had never been so angry. Not when he had tricked me into being his gummy model, and not even when he all but used me for sex before spitting me out the other side. This was something else. This was the man I thought I loved, all but confirming that my love would never be returned. At least, not in the way that I had hoped. That hurt more than anything else ever could.

“I’m going,” he said, staying calm. “But I want you to know that I still meant everything else I said tonight. Every word of it. Don’t let this one thing get in the way of what I know will be great, okay?” He took a few steps toward me, as if trying to decide if he should kiss me or not, but then he decided against it. That was probably for the best because I was staring daggers at him.

Instead, he turned and made his way to the front door, walking through it and closing it behind him. And he was gone.

I believed him when he said that he meant every word of what he said. Of that, I had no doubt. But to me, it made no difference. To me, his love was poison at that point. He didn’t love me for me, but because of the way it made him feel. He didn’t give a shit about me, not really, anyway. If he did, he would have known that my job was more than a paycheck. I loved my work, and for him to all but threaten me was disgusting.

I went to bed without shedding a single tear that night. Without crying, without curling into a ball and weeping. I wasn’t going to waste any more tears on Grant Marcus. I loved him. That much was true. I told him that, and I was more than willing to prove that for the rest of my life.

But that was then. A lot can happen in a few minutes, and as I closed my eyes that night preparing to go to sleep, I wasn’t so sure if I loved him anymore.