Chapter 2
Piper
Jules walked toward my table and slid herself onto the cream-colored bench across from me. I treated Jules to lunch quite often. Not just because she was my best friend, but also because she painted customized art pieces for my interior decorating business.
This time, we met at Tokyo Joe’s. I’d already ordered the lunchtime special. Today, it happened to be a little bit of everything. The waiter brought our food out, and we opened each of the steamer baskets to delve into the contents that were inside. The delicious taste of the marinated prawn burst through the soft, doughy texture of the steamed dumplings.
“How are the paintings coming along?” I asked.
I bit into my honey-glazed pork. Jules signaled I had honey sauce running down my chin, and we both laughed.
“They’re all nearly finished,” she said. “And then I have my exhibit which I am really stoked about. But I’m also a bit nervous about it, if you know what I mean.”
She placed another prawn dumpling into her mouth, and her face changed to bliss. There was just something about good food that eased the soul.
“I get it. It was the same for me on my first interior design gig. I was nervous as hell they wouldn’t like what I’d done.” She wiped at her mouth and let out a contented sigh. “I love this stuff.”
“Me too.” I smiled and picked up my fork, going in for more. Food had healing powers. No matter how shitty I felt, a good dinner or lunch would help to get me back on my feet, or in the bed for a long nap. Either was good enough.
We chatted some more about business and shopping and growing up in general. We’d both become quite successful in our own separate ways. Jules had become a much sought-after artist who was in the process of putting together her first major exhibition. My design business had really taken off in the last few years. I now had the opportunity to choose my own clients rather than knocking on doors and asking for business.
A baby cried at the table next to ours, and my head turned in that direction. A loving mother bobbed the child up and down on her knee to calm her down.
“Must be teething,” I said.
“You do realize, if you decide to have a kid, you’ll have to go through all this,” Jules said with a giggle. “And our precious lunchtimes will never be the same again.”
“Say what?” I asked, shocked at the idea. “I was just watching them over there.”
“Kids. I was talking about kids. Piper, if you have one, that’s what you will be dealing with.” She laughed and shook her head. Our conversations on kids never went well.
I decided to change the subject. “When did you have your hair done? It’s new, and those red tips are really funky. But mixed with brown, I’m not so sure.”
Jules got lost in her mirror. “Who is the artist here, you or me?” she asked, examining her hair.
“Well, you are, but some of your work is a bit strange, so you never know,” I said laughing.
“Any more talk like that and you’ll be doing your own damned paintings!” She stuck her tongue out playfully.
“You know I love you, really, but when you were talking about kids, I missed your meaning. The food was distracting me. And the baby!” The desire for a little one in my life was becoming almost overbearing. It was something I couldn’t deny wanting with everything inside of me.
“Yeah, I know,” she said. “And I know what you were just looking. But you’ve been doing that every time there are kids around.”
“Well, I’m in an excellent place right now. The business is well established and I don’t really have to worry much about a lot of things in life. I feel I’m at that stage where I want to take the next step.”
“Why not follow the regular route and have a relationship? You know… date, get married, and have kids like a normal woman would do?”
Jules was watching something else. I could tell she was distracted.
“What are you looking at?” I asked quizzically.
“Sorry, you look at kids, and I look around the inside of buildings for ideas for my paintings. Does it bother you, Mom?” Jules giggled.
I ignored her sly comment. “I have to admit, this interior is a beautiful blend of gold and red. Very Chinese, but slightly more modern and dignified.”
I took a photo with my phone. I knew I’d just tried to avoid the subject, but Jules knew me too well to let me off the hook that easily.
She leaned closer to me over the table and stared at me with her dark brown eyes. “Feel free to answer the original question Piper,” Jules said.
“Having a meaningful relationship is not really an option for me. I’ve dated too many dickheads who have cheated on me. Actually, all of them have, apart from one. And I’d rather forget him.”
“Oh God, you’re gonna do it again. You’re gonna share that story with me about Evan. Heartbreak hotel, here we come.” She gave me a warning look. I knew I didn’t need to go there again, but fuck if I couldn’t help myself.
“I know I’ve mentioned him a lot, but—” I started, but she cut me off. Evan was a topic I returned to a little too often.
“A lot?” Jules asked, interrupting me. “God, it was over ten years ago, and you still talk about him as if it happened yesterday. Do you never get tired of talking about him?”
I smiled at Jules. “You and I both know the answer to that one.”
“Of course, you don’t get tired of talking about him. So, come on then, tell me all about it again. I’m sure once more won’t hurt.”
My mind drifted back to Evan and how it had been before we broke up. I’d fallen in love with him, and I knew he’d fallen for me. If it hadn’t been for him leaving to go to college, we would probably still be together. We had broken up though, and I wasn’t so sure why it actually happened. I mean, he never wanted to talk about the reason, and then he left, gone from my life completely.
Till now, he was the one guy who had treated me right. He never cheated and had never so much as looked at another girl in that way.
I might have been young and naive at the time, but I had fallen madly in love with Evan. And this was what Jules could not understand.
Evan, where are you now? I miss you.
I spoke to Jules again. “At the time, I’d fallen for Evan. And not just a crush or anything like that. I’d fallen head over heels for him.”
“Holy cow, Piper, you were just a kid then. Seriously, how could you fall in love with someone at that age?” She screwed up her face tightly.
My face screwed up more. She just didn’t get it.
“I’ll tell you what Piper, I’m not sure if it was actually love you were in. I think you were in love with the thought of being in love, you understand?”
“I know what you mean, but you have it all wrong,” I said, changing my tone. “It was nothing like that. I can assure you.”
Everyone had it wrong. No one could understand. And when I tried to explain the way it was, it seemed hopeless. I may have only been a sophomore at the time, but I knew my heart. I knew for certain that it wasn’t just the idea of being in love that I’d been attracted to. It had been a little over ten years since then, and I had not been able to forget Evan. That was the truth, and that’s how strongly I’d resonated with him.
“I’m sure, but you need to stop using Evan as your yardstick to measure all your relationships by. I’m confident that you could meet someone who is nice and caring. Someone that not only meets your criteria but surpasses them.”
“Well, all that’s behind me, so I’ll never know. And it doesn’t really matter that much, anyway. I’ve decided to do it all by my lonesome and just raise a kid by myself.”
My words were unreasonable to a highly confused Jules. She wanted to understand me but couldn’t.
“Have you spoken to your mother about your decision?” Jules asked directly.
“To be perfectly honest, I haven’t even mentioned it to her. Jules, at the end of the day, if it was okay for her to raise a child on her own, I’m sure I can, too.” I shrugged. I was nervous as hell about the idea of it, but I knew what I wanted. A million other women raised kids. Why was I so damn different? Right. I wasn’t.
“So, just because you don’t know who your father is and you were raised an only child, you think this is the way to go for you?” Jules asked.
“Something along those lines, yes,” I said.
My stomach was full from our meal. I just wanted to relax, but she was going to pull me through a psychological midfield over my decision to raise a family without a father figure. It’s not like I had men beating down the door. I was out of options.
“Well, if you weren’t such a good friend, I would say you were damned crazy,” Jules said. “Actually, I think you are. But, whatever you choose, I will still support you.”
Thank goodness. I was relieved that she’d finally admitted defeat in the conversation.
“That’s what buddies are for,” I said. “We watch each other’s back in times like this.”
Jules shook her head in disbelief. “I take it you have a plan, then? What is it? Um, let me guess… adoption?”
“I’ve settled on having it myself because I want to experience having a child,” I explained as peace flooded over me. Most people wouldn’t understand the decision, or my reasoning, but it wasn’t their life. I’d do what the hell I pleased at the end of the day. I had been for the entirety of my life, and it was working just fine so far.
“You mean like artificial insemination and all that stuff?” Jules asked.
It was hilarious to watch her face contort in a grimace.
“I’m not sure what other options there are for that sort of thing. I’ve looked at adoption, but like I said, I want the whole experience. Otherwise, I would be wondering all my life what it would be like.” I thought I’d explained it well.
“Well, I’ve heard tales of all this artificial stuff, and you have to be careful. Christ, who knows what sort of kid you could end up with? Don’t forget some of these clinics pay for sperm, and you get all sorts of people going to donate. From high school dropouts to guys who are hard up for cash.”
Her nose wrinkled in disgust, and I laughed.
“There are some where you can see the father’s details. But many are like you say, they just accept anyone who can come in a small jar!” I laughed.
Jules started laughing, and tears were rolling down our cheeks. I imagined a line of men with small jars, their cocks in their hands trying to catch their cum.
“It could be worse though,” Jules said, wiping tears from her face.
“How is that?” I asked. I burst into another fit of giggles.
“You could end up with a kid like that one crying over there,” she said sarcastically.
Our laughter subsided, and we started to chat more seriously about the subject. Jules was right in what she said, I did have to take it seriously. I could end up with any guy’s sperm inside of me. The mentality of the child in question was not the only thing to consider. Any family illnesses and ailments also had to be thought about. The risk of a sick child was just too much to worry about.
I’d made up my mind, and now it was time for me to seriously look at my options. And there was no way Evan was going to make an appearance after all this time. So, I had to do what was best for me. Having a child on my own would make me complete. And a man in my life could drag me down and get in the way. This way, I could share my love with a child who would appreciate being brought into the world. And they’d be raised by someone who actually loved them for the miracle that they truly were.
If I could find a donor who was half the man Evan was, I would be happy with the result. Then the child would have the best of both sides. A successful mother, and a father who possessed all of the natural good looks you could wish to see in a good man.
END OF SAMPLE
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