Chapter 33

Grant

Everything was going to be perfect. It had to be. After tonight, there were going to be no more second chances, or third, or fourth chances. I had taken those and ruined them already. Really, no one in the history of dating had had more chances than me. But that was the past.

That day’s session with Kendra was beyond belief. Words wouldn’t even do it justice. When we began to make love, I had every intention of treating her like a queen and making it all about her, and her alone. But the way she took charge and made it about the two of us, it just proved what I had known for so long. That the two of us were perfect for one another.

That was why tonight had to be perfect.

It was going to start at one of my favorite restaurants. It was a French restaurant located off Broadway. It was one of the finer dining experiences one could enjoy in the city of New York. I went there a fair bit too, so I knew the service to be impeccable, the food unimpeachable, and the atmosphere romantic. It was the perfect place to take Kendra. And because I went there so often, I was able to call up and book a private booth. I even arranged for their violinist to play us a song during the night.

From there, we were going to head straight back to my apartment. I was going to organize a handsome cab ride through the city or something of that nature, but decided against it. There was just no need. The two of us were way past that point. This date wasn’t about trying to impress one another, but about being as open as possible. That was all that mattered.

And besides, I wanted her back here as soon as possible. Every time the two of us have had sex, it descended into an animalistic ritual. Although that was always mind blowing, I wanted something different this time. This time, I wanted to make love, like really make love. It’s going to be slow, passionate, and mind-blowing in its own way.

It was when I was halfway out the door that my cell phone rang. Checking the ID, I saw that it was Jack. “Hey, what’s up?” I asked, not breaking stride as I made my way toward the elevator at the end of the hallway.

“The Ivy, thirty minutes. I’ve got these two Australian girls with me that love American men. Australian, Grant. Do you know what that means? You know why they call it down under don’t—”

I hung up the phone and stepped into the elevator. I appreciated that Jack thought of me, but there was no way I was going to some club tonight to try and chase some random girl, Australian or not. There was no need. Kendra was all I needed, and I was slowly coming to realize that fact.

--

Kendra looked even more beautiful tonight than ever, even though I had only seen her a few hours earlier. Her long blonde hair was left to flow over her shoulders, while her green eyes popped magnificently against the color of the blue gown that she wore. It was long and flowing and actually worked to hide her curves, rather than accentuate them. I was certain that this was a ploy to keep my mind on track, and it only served to make her even more alluring.

The restaurant was as perfect as I had hoped. The moment that we entered, we were led by the hostess to our private booth, located at the back of the dining area. And there, waiting for us already, was a bottle of champagne, chilled and ready. And as we sat down, the waiter informed us that we didn’t need to look at the menus as the chef was going to make us something special, off menu. I had organized that too, of course.

“Wow, you’ve really gone all out,” Kendra noted as the waiter glided away.

“What, do you think that I organized this?” I asked, pretending to look shocked and appalled. “Definitely not. What I think happened was the chef saw you walk through the door and was compelled to whip you up something special. That can be the only explanation.”

“Corny,” she said, smiling to herself. “But appreciated nonetheless.”

“That’s because I appreciate you,” I said, leaning across the table and taking her hands in mine. “I really do, and starting tonight, I want to let you know that—”

“Oh my god,” Kendra cut in, suddenly.

She was looking over my shoulder and across the floor of the restaurant. I swung around, trying to see what had caught her attention so irrevocably. When I saw what it was, or who it was for that matter, my heart sunk. Striding across the restaurant toward us, evidently having spotted Kendra, too, was none other than Chip Hobbs.

Chip was, of course, the football player that Kendra left me for in high school. Although I had never met him officially, I had stalked him online many times and was able to recognize him instantly. He was tall. Well over six foot with a classic football player’s body. The guy had big everything. That included big shoulders, big arms, a big head, and a very big and loud voice.

“You have got to be kidding me!” he boomed as he reached our table. His voice sent shockwaves across the restaurant, causing those in the vicinity to turn and stare. It was far too loud for the type of establishment that we were at, but I sensed that he didn’t care. Based on his more than casual outfit of jeans and a polo shirt, I was pretty certain that he didn’t come to these kinds of places too often.

“Hey, Chip,” Kendra said, the moment he was within range. As she did, I half expected her to look away embarrassed, or act like she was mad at herself for having sought his attention. But no, she looked genuinely happy to be seeing him. She looked damn near ecstatic. I was nowhere near as excited by his presence.

“Hey is for horses,” he boomed, letting off an equally thunderous laugh. As he did, he slid into the booth by Kendra’s side, throwing his arm over her and giving her a big kiss on the cheek. Again, she didn’t pull away or try and stop him, but accepted his affection willingly.

“Chip, this is Grant,” she said, finally introducing me. I held my hand out for him to shake, which he did with his huge hands, nearly crushing my own. “What are you doing here?”

“Just a work meeting. I’m in construction, and the company I work for wanted to spend a little extra. Didn’t know snails and frog legs cost so much,right?” And again, he erupted with boorish laughter.

Surely, that should have been the last straw. Surely, such a silly, juvenile joke would have turned Kendra’s smile to a frown? But no, she laughed with equal enthusiasm, even slapping him on the arm as she did. And as I watched the sickening display, my stomach turned.

I had never hated anyone in my life more than I hated Chip in that moment. Forget about his actual personality. He was loud, obnoxious, and the complete opposite of the type of person I would ever talk to in the real world. He was the kind of guy that used to bully me in high school, then act like it was all some joke and that I was the one that needed to ease up. He was, as far as I was concerned, public enemy number one.

And if it was just that, then maybe I wouldn’t have been so irritated. But the history that he and Kendra shared was what really had my insides burning. He was the sole harbinger of the most tragic moment in my young life. I had spent hours, days even, thinking about what I would do if I ever came face to face with him. The ways in which I would hurt him.

And even after all that, I wouldn’t have felt the way I did if it wasn’t for the way that Kendra was acting around him. She was fawning in the most obvious fashion. She was laughing at his shitty jokes, batting her eyes, and staring at him like he was the quarter back and she was the cheerleader. After all we had been through and after what I thought was a hurdle that we crossed, now this great hunk of meat was barging in.

“Well, I’ve got to go,” Chip suddenly said, standing up. I hadn’t even realized that the two had been talking, so lost in my own thoughts. But it was definitely a relief to see him go, even if he did kiss Kendra on the cheek again. “See ya, Grant,” he offered, winking at me. And then he was gone, making the floor shake as he strode back to his own table.

There was a very pronounced moment of silence between the two of us after Chip left. There was me, staring at Kendra, waiting for her to say something, anything really. And then there was Kendra, staring in the direction where Chip disappeared. She wore a glazed look over her face, like she was just snapping back from some sort of dream.

“Well, that was unexpected,” she finally said, ever so casually as if she hadn’t just been flirting in front of me.

“That’s one way of looking at it,” I replied, careful to hide my temper. I really didn’t want to snap. I really didn’t want to ruin the night. All I wanted was to pretend that nothing had never happened. I just didn’t know if I could.

“You know in college he was everything,” she said, sipping her drink as she still watched the space where he was.

“I’ll bet,” I replied through gritted teeth.

“Seriously. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him.”

“Yep,” I said, feeling the rage bubbling over. Was she dense or was she purposefully testing me? Did she want to see me snap? Did she enjoy it?

“But that was then and this is now. God damn he’s changed. I can’t believe I was ever with him, to be honest.” And then the mood changed. Her face suddenly scrunched up in disgust, her tone became one of self-loathing, and she looked away from where he was, as if her eyes had suddenly caught fire.

“Really?” I asked, feeling my own mood turn around.

“Of course. The man is a pig. Where you not listening to what he was saying?” Her face still scrunched at the very thought.

“No, I was... I was in my own head,” I said, without admitting just how far in my head I’d actually been.

“Be glad that you were. Seriously. I can’t believe I was ever with him. The stupid things girls do?”

“The stupid things grown men do,” I said, unable to suppress a smile as I reached across the table and took her hand again. “Let’s just agree that we’ve both made some pretty horrendous mistakes. How about that?”

“Deal! Now, what were you going to say before the oaf interrupted?” she asked.

What I was going to say was a platitude. I was going to tell her what I knew she wanted to hear. It was going to be nonsense about how beautiful she was and how lucky I was and all of that. About how I wanted forgiveness, how we were starting again. But after seeing Chip and after feeling what I had just felt... while also seeing her reaction to the man that I had spent so many years hating, I knew that those words were not going to be enough.

What I needed to do was speak the truth, finally. No more games. And so I did.

“I wanted to tell you,” I began, making sure to keep her hand in mine as I stared into her perfect green eyes. “That I love you.”