The following morning Dean headed into work early, still thinking about the pictures on his phone that Charlotte had texted him the previous night.
After they’d talked on the phone for almost an hour, he’d lain in bed looking at the two of them tangled together, the sun setting behind them, as he kissed her for the first time. How many couples had their first kiss immortalized in such a beautiful and sexy photo?
And … yeah, he guessed they were now truly a couple. Or at the very least they were dating, although he’d yet to ask her on an official date. Something he realized he needed to remedy. And if they were really going to give this a shot, he knew he needed to be completely open and honest with her.
That was the part he was having trouble coming to terms with. He liked Charlotte. Almost more than was healthy, and if he knew anything about himself, it was that he couldn’t give a warm, sweet, young woman like that what she needed. How would she take that news? He was jaded, bitter, and afraid of giving his all to a woman, mainly because his all would never be enough.
His insecurities ran deep, and the last relationship—his marriage—had only exploited them. There was a time in the beginning that he’d been able to share his inner fears with his wife. How his mother’s abandonment had scarred him, or how he’d been resentful of her leaving his father for a younger man. Amy had been so empathetic and loving at first. They’d been on the same page, wanting to settle down, have a family. But after the third miscarriage, the relationship was strained. Eventually he’d gotten checked by a doctor and given the official news, which had only served to fuel her resentment and anger. It gave her a solid reason to blame him. She’d started going away frequently for “girl weekends,” which only made Dean jealous since most of her travel companions were single.
“I don’t have any children to tie me down, do I? Might as well take advantage of it,” she’d say, lashing out at him on so many levels. He recalled the time when one of her clients was some hotshot punk that she “just needed to have a work dinner with.” Dean had not hidden the fact that he was jealous, and over and over, Amy had assured him that he was being silly.
He might say the joke was on her, because sure enough, he’d proven that his concerns weren’t silly. But no matter who was right or wrong, the joke was definitely on him. Dean flipped on the light to the distilling room and considered what he needed to get started. But his thoughts kept dragging down his mood.
By the time he’d caught Amy cheating, it was almost a relief, because they’d grown to not even like each other. Passion had left the relationship long before that, though. They’d been raising a teenager and sex had become a mechanical affair of temperature taking and calendar watching, which had resulted in nothing but a roller coaster of excitement and then tragedy. Amy’s grieving of their lost babies left him feeling alone and helpless. She wasn’t the only one who blamed him.
Dean was looking over his logbook and filling out the day’s clipboard when a raspy voice came from the doorway.
“Morning.”
Dean turned to find a puffy-eyed TJ sipping on a steaming cup of coffee. “Damn, dude. What happened to you?” Dean asked.
His friend chuckled. “I had a date last night.”
Dean’s eyes went wide. “Nice. Is this obvious hangover because it went well or … not.”
“Oh, it went well. Two times well.”
“Wow. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Normally it was Jake who came in with a sex hangover.
TJ took another sip of his coffee and lowered his mug. “Honestly, I didn’t either. It had been a while.”
“Congratulations. Who is this girl?”
“What girl?” Jake asked them both as he stepped in the distilling room and pivoted around TJ. He took in his friend’s slumped posture, giant mug of caffeine, and squinty eyes. “Rough night, man?”
“Something like that.”
“TJ scored last night.” Dean couldn’t help himself. He was happy the guy had finally given up on Jen, because he’d have bet money that ship would never sail.
“My man,” Jake said, slapping TJ on the back. A bit of coffee sloshed over the rim of his mug, but TJ jerked it away from his body just in time so that it didn’t get his pants wet. “It’s about damn time. I was starting to worry about you.”
“Not sure why the two of you are so worried about my sex life.”
“We worry about your lack of a sex life. A critical difference,” Jake said. “I don’t ever want to see a friend suffer.”
TJ shook his head as Jake laughed. The entire conversation reminded Dean that he had something to discuss with the two of them before his apprentice showed up in … damn, about twenty minutes.
“Hey, guys, listen, something I need to mention,” Dean said. Both turned his way, waiting. “So, you both know I have this new guy coming in to discuss a possible apprenticeship.”
“John, yeah. He seems cool.” TJ took another sip of his coffee, the other hand in his pocket.
“He is cool, but here’s the thing I haven’t mentioned. He is Charlotte Linley’s ex.”
Jake’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously? Does she know?”
“Don’t you … like her?” TJ asked, and Dean could tell his friend wasn’t trying to make him uncomfortable, just stating a fact.
Jake nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I know you do. So this has to be a bad idea.”
Dean sighed and then decided there was no better way than through. “About that. Charlotte and I … well, we’ve kind of been seeing each other.”
“It’s about damn time,” Jake said with a grin.
“When did this happen?” TJ asked. “I mean I’m happy for you. I like Charlotte a lot.”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, it’s kind of recent, and, well … her ex working here is a little awkward. But he knows about us.”
“Jesus, man,” TJ said. “This sounds like trouble.”
“I realize that, and had I known at first, I would have avoided this. But I think they’re both cool with it.”
“You sure about Charlotte?” Jake asked. “Obviously, our loyalty lies with her.”
“I told her the same thing,” Dean said, but he appreciated Jake voicing the same opinion. “And she says she’s good. It will be a little awkward, but she wanted him to have the job.”
“I hope he works out. You need help,” TJ reminded them all. “I was relieved as hell when I heard you’d talked to someone.”
“I hope it works out, too. He’ll be here in about ten minutes.”
“So, new distiller is the ex of your new girlfriend. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Me too.” Dean just shook his head and headed to the distilling room to get ready for the day. He was grateful that he’d partnered with two guys who were so easy to work with. They all gave one another shit, but they first had one another’s backs. It would be interesting to see how John fit in, or if he even did.
A few minutes later, the man himself stepped into the distilling room.
“Morning,” John said.
“Hey, glad you’re here. I was just getting started.”
“Great. Um, before that, I wanted to say something.” John shoved his hands into his pockets, obviously trying to not fidget. “I just want you to know that I would totally understand if you’d like to change your mind about this. I mean, I appreciate you standing by your word, but—”
Dean put up a hand. “Listen, thanks for the offer, but we’re good.” John relaxed, his shoulders slumping. Dean continued, telling him what he’d told his co-workers a few moments before. “I let Charlotte make that call, and she wanted you to have the chance to see how this goes.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. She’s.…” He stared at the ground a moment, and then looked back up to Dean. “She’s really something. You’re lucky you have her. I mean it. Don’t make the same mistake I did and let her get away.”
Dean inhaled deep, nodding slowly. So, maybe this whole thing might be even more awkward than he’d thought.