“I still think you should cash the check,” Lauren said as she placed a stamp on the final envelope.
Instead of responding, Charlotte took another sip of her wine. She was on glass three. Or five. Hard to tell.
It was Friday night, and she and Lauren had spent the past two hours binging on Chinese food and addressing wedding invitations to people neither of them knew. Earlier that evening Dean had dropped off a legal envelope that held the final list of addresses. He’d been friendly but hadn’t come inside, claiming he had some work to get back to, and Charlotte had forced herself to keep it short and not be weird.
Once she’d gotten inside and opened the envelope, she’d found a check made out to her in the amount of two thousand dollars. In the memo he’d written: thanks for being amazing.
Fuck being amazing.
“I plan on cashing the check. Don’t worry. He owes me big for all the help I’m giving him.”
Lauren just raised an eyebrow and then slid all the finished envelopes into a bag. “How about I drop these off at the post office in the morning.”
“Thanks,” Charlotte said. “And I’m sorry I’m being a bitch.”
“You’re not being a bitch at all. I completely understand your feelings on the matter.”
Charlotte stared at her. “But…”
“There’s no but. I swear.”
“Please, I’ve been your friend for way too long. I know a but when I hear one.”
Lauren leveled her with a hard state. “Okay, fine. I think you’re giving in too easily.”
“What? Lauren, the man made it very clear that he’s not interested.”
“No, he didn’t. He made it very clear he’s afraid.”
Charlotte rolled her eyes. “Right. A forty-one-year-old man, afraid of me.”
“Bingo. A forty-one-year-old man who has the hots for a beautiful young woman with her entire life ahead of her.”
“Pshh.” Charlotte couldn’t believe this. Of course they’d discussed their age difference, but it wasn’t like he was fifty or sixty. “Dean is not a normal older man. He’s hot.”
“Do you think hot people are impervious to fear? You two have spent three years flirting. Finally, you kiss. Then he freaks out.”
“Exactly. What part of that are you not understanding? It was a mistake.”
Lauren shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t buy that. I work with him, too, you know. Dean is a very thoughtful guy. One of the biggest gentlemen I know. If he was completely uninterested, he wouldn’t have let himself get in this position. He’s torn and fighting it. I think he genuinely thinks he’s too old for you. He thinks he is doing you a favor.”
Charlotte shrugged. Was it possible that he was interested and just afraid? She’d been with a man before who couldn’t own his true emotions. Did she want to go down that path again? “He probably is doing me a favor.”
“Fine!” Lauren threw her hands up and rose from the table. “If you believe that, then I don’t want to hear about it again. Snap out of it.”
“Lauren, I’m sorry.”
Her best friend sighed. “You have no reason to be sorry. I just don’t like to see you sad. I’m trying to urge you to push a little harder if you think he’s worth it. If not, let it go. Take his money to the bank and buy yourself something awesome.”
“Do you really think he’s just afraid?”
Lauren sighed. “I think there’s a good possibility. But don’t hold it against me if I’m wrong.”
“I could never hold it against you. You’re always there for me.”
“And don’t you forget it.” Lauren heaved the heavy bag of invites up onto her shoulder. “See you next Saturday then?”
With a groan, Charlotte let her head fall back. “God, yes. Here I thought I’d be in a better emotional state when I was forced to see John again. But once again Charlotte Linley is messed up over a guy.”
“This guy is nothing like John. And you’ll be fine. Take that money and go get a facial or a wax. Something that makes you feel sexy.”
Charlotte stood up to see her friend to the door. Lauren had a point. It had been a while since she’d had a hair appointment. “Yeah maybe I will.
* * *
Dean had spent the past five years of his life enjoying a pretty steady routine. He ate cold cereal for breakfast, went to the gym four days a week, spent most of his day at the Stag, and then fell into bed exhausted every night and slept through till morning. Once in a great while there’d be a date or hookup thrown in the mix, and usually when a new Call of Duty game released he’d devote a weekend to sitting on the couch and trying to beat it, but basically he was a creature of habit. Conventional and adaptive. Despite the hardships he’d been dealt in his life, he felt like he managed to have a positive outlook, and for the most part his mood remained even-keeled. He considered himself the voice of reason and experience in his partnership with TJ and Jake, and was nearly certain they’d agree with that sentiment. Overall, these days not much got him worked up or interrupted his life.
Until he’d kissed Charlotte.
The past week and a half, he hadn’t had a full night’s rest, was moody as hell, and he’d been so distracted he’d put in a vodka mash and then forgotten to turn on the agitator, meaning the entire thing waterlogged and ended up all over the distilling room floor.
The fact that he had to see her today had him all kinds of messed up. He’d seen her a couple of times since the kiss, and each time had been uncomfortable. All week he’d been trying to convince himself that he hadn’t hurt her feelings the day she’d come to show him the invitations. That she hadn’t been about to cry. But the truth was, the look on her face before she’d left had nearly broken him. Still, he knew putting the brakes on this thing between them was the right thing to do.
“Are you sure everything’s okay with you?” Jake asked as he used a mop to push a pile of oatmeal-consistency cooked grain into a bucket on the floor.
“Yeah, why?” He didn’t meet his friend’s eyes.
“Just … I don’t know. You seem off your game this week.”
“I think I’m just stressed about planning this wedding.” That seemed a reasonable explanation. Hadn’t Charlotte called him a bridezilla?
“Makes sense, I guess.” Jake said. “But isn’t Charlotte helping you?”
Dean picked up his own full bucket and sighed. “Yeah, she is.”
Without elaborating he hauled the vessel over to the giant plastic tub they were filling and dumped it over the side. What a waste of grain, time, and money. He shook his head and headed back to the mess. They’d almost gotten it all picked up. Normally he’d start fresh with a new mash, but today he had to meet Charlotte at the floral shop across the town square. He’d give anything to avoid it. At the same time, he could hardly wait to see her.
“I figured you’d like working with Charlotte.”
Dean looked up at Jake to see him grinning. Here the past three years he thought he’d done a good job at masking his feelings for her, but lately it had become clear that he’d been wrong.
“Working with her is just fine.”
“Just fine, huh? TJ told me about your photo shoot.”
Dean groaned. “TJ has a big mouth. But yeah. I did it.”
After filling his bucket with hot water, Dean began to pour it over the floor. The majority of the mess was picked up so the rest could be squeegeed into the drain on the floor.
“You have to get naked?” Jake asked with a chuckle.
Immediately Dean’s eyes flew up to his. “No, I didn’t get naked. Of course not.”
“Just asking, simmer down. I bet it was kind of hot, though, right? Having her take pictures of you like that.”
Dean sighed. “I don’t know if I’d use the word hot.” Which was a complete lie. That day had ended up being one of the hottest of his life, all because of her and that kiss.
Jake nodded and gave a look that implied he wasn’t quite convinced. “Well, I think it would be hot. And it would be kind of cool to be on a book cover. Haven’t been able to use that line before. I mean, how could the ladies not think that was awesome?”
What the heck was he getting at? Dean’s jaw tightened as he filled another bucket with water. “I don’t intend to tell the ladies.”
“Then you’re missing a prime opportunity. Women go crazy for that stuff. You’ll be some kind of Fabio. Honestly, I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Jake chuckled. “When do we get to see these pictures?”
He had no idea so he just shrugged.
“Maybe I should ask Charlotte if I can be next. I think I could pull it off.”
Dean stilled. He was facing away from his friend, but he knew Jake was watching him, so he forced his body back into action and grabbed the squeegee off the wall. He needed to move past what had happened. Stop letting that kiss affect his life and, even more important, his interactions with Charlotte. He hated that she’d had to be the one to make the first move after what they’d done. Even then he’d acted like an idiot. Another good reason to stop letting his attraction to her mess with his good sense. A real relationship with a woman like her was impossible, which meant just fooling around with her was not an option. He definitely didn’t want to jeopardize what they had.
But although that all sounded noble and good, one problem remained. He wanted her so damn bad. Fighting that was not easy. He had to try harder.
“Yeah, maybe you should ask her. I get the feeling she’s looking for guys.” Dean hated the words coming out of his mouth. Just that thought pissed him off, but he clamped his teeth down and pushed through the feelings of jealousy that rose up in his gut.
“Why do I feel like this is a trap?” Jake asked.
Dean turned around. “It’s not. Ask her. She’s a professional.”
“Listen, you know I have absolutely no designs on Charlotte. She’s so into you.”
With a sigh, Dean clamped his eyes shut. “I don’t know about that. But she and I are better off just being friends.”
“Why?” Jake sounded genuinely perplexed.
Dean leaned his squeegee against the wall. “Because I’m a divorced, middle-aged man for a start.”
“Good grief, dude. I’m pretty sure you’ve got a few years left in you.”
Dean knew Jake was teasing, but his buddies didn’t know all the reasons he wasn’t meant for a young woman like Charlotte. And it was none of their business.
“Anyway, let’s drop this,” Dean said.
“Fine. Consider it dropped, but I want to go on record as saying that you’re fucking nuts not to give things a try with her. Charlotte’s not the type to get crazy on you if it doesn’t work.”
Dean leveled Jake with a stare.
“Okay, okay. Now it’s dropped. Promise,” Jake said. “But she works with me on Saturday, you know?”
Dean turned around. “You have a funny way of dropping a conversation, you know that? And I thought Trevor Rich was shooting.” He wasn’t a fan of the guy. Big ego and wasn’t all that friendly, as if being the photographer made him important. Wasn’t even willing to share images with vendors, whereas Charlotte not only shared them for free with everyone, she’d even had several canvases printed for the Stag.
“Yeah he was. Apparently he canceled on his couple and they asked Charlotte to do it.”
“Huh. Well then, I guess you’ll be able to ask her about doing a shoot then.” Dean glanced at his watch. “You think you can finish this up? I actually have to meet her at the florist across the street in five minutes.”
“Sure.” Jake pulled out a hose so he could give everything a final rinse. “You gonna start another mash today?”
Dean shook his head. “Not now. I’m actually gonna head home after this appointment.”
Jake looked surprised but nodded. “Good for you, man. You need a break.”
His friend was right. He needed to try to unwind. His nerves felt fried, and the lack of sleep was catching up with him. Sounded like a good night to just get a pizza and try to zone out for a while. Take his mind off things.
Wouldn’t be easy to do since he had to spend the next couple of hours in Charlotte’s presence.
* * *
It was impossible not to be happy in a flower shop, Charlotte thought as she meandered through Harrington’s Floral Design, which sat on the opposite side of the square from the Stag. Mark Harrington was an up-and-coming florist in the area, and considering that beautiful photos of his earliest weddings hung on the walls of his shop all courtesy of Charlotte, she was hoping to exploit his goodwill for return favors.
She didn’t doubt that he expected it from her the minute she’d called and made the appointment, but he’d seemed really excited about the job. He’d also not been shy about how much he liked setting up at the Stag so he could check out the “luscious owners.” His words, but she’d agreed wholeheartedly.
The bell sounded and she turned. Speaking of luscious owners …
“Hey,” she said as Dean walked in.
His eyebrows popped up when he saw her. “Hi.” He spoke quietly, which was cute. He looked completely out of place surrounded by giant floral bouquets and home décor. “Your hair…”
Charlotte touched a piece of hair at her shoulder. Yesterday she’d gotten it cut and highlighted. It was quite a change. Much lighter than before. “Yeah, I was in the mood for something different.”
“It’s…” His eyes wandered over her face. “I really like it.”
“Thanks.”
He quickly looked away, eyes darting around the shop. “There’s a lot to take in.”
“Isn’t it gorgeous? I love coming in here.” Charlotte inhaled. The scent was heavenly.
“I hear a man in my shop,” a singsongy voice said from the back room, and then Mark pushed through a white curtain. “And I’m not disappointed.”
Charlotte chuckled quietly as Mark eyed Dean from head to toe.
“Dean, this is Mark,” she said.
“Hi, Mark.” Dean reached out his hand but the man bypassed it, going straight in for a hug—which clearly took Dean by surprise. His eyes widened and darted to Charlotte, who couldn’t wipe the grin from her face.
“So happy to meet another one of you Stag men. We’re all friends here,” Mark said as he pushed Dean away and then embraced Charlotte. She was used to Mark’s hugs. He was a larger-than-life guy—in personality and in stature, with a thick dark beard and colorful tattoos going down each arm. He was as sweet as could be, although he had an intense side as she’d often seen as he set up for weddings. She assumed it was just his perfectionism getting the better of him, which she could understand.
Mark turned back to Dean. “So, your sister is getting married. Fantastic.”
“She is. I’m sorry to say we’re on somewhat of a budget. Time- and money-wise.”
Mark laughed and then held a conspiratorial hand to the side of his mouth. “That’s what they all say, in the beginning,” he murmured.
“We truly are, this time, Mark,” Charlotte threw in. “But there was no way I could go to anyone but you. Alex deserves the best, even if we have to use budget blooms.”
She hoped to appeal to his ego, and it appeared to work like a charm. “Of course she does. And you’re so sweet. Love your new hair by the way.” He touched Charlotte’s arm quickly and then headed over to his counter and pulled out his notebook.
“Let’s talk details,” he said, sliding a pair of tortoiseshell glasses onto his face.
They proceeded to give him the fast-approaching date—which had his eyebrows rising—and the location, which he’d assumed correctly would be the Stag.
“Attendants?” he asked.
“None,” Dean said.
“Hmm. Unusual but easy. Very easy.” Mark made a note in his notebook. “Colors?”
“She likes green.”
“I also love green.” After a few more notes, Mark looked up. “Okay. Usually there is a contrast color.”
“I guess whatever looks good with green?” Dean asked.
Mark turned to Charlotte.
“The invitation I kept neutral. Golds and ivories.”
“Okaaay, so what if we really made the greenery pop by using a neutral color palette. Whites, ivories, maybe just a hint of a peach.”
“I love that idea,” Charlotte interjected. She glanced at Dean, who just nodded his approval. Had he been staring at her?
“Buffet or plated?” Mark continued.
“Buffet,” Charlotte said.
The questions continued and finally Mark led them to the walk-in cooler along the back of the shop. It was bursting with color. Roses, lilies, carnations, and even tropical flowers like birds-of-paradise lined the walls. It smelled so wonderful.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Charlotte said, looking up at Dean.
“It is. Looks expensive, too,” he whispered.
Charlotte squeezed his arm playfully, and then quickly pulled away. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but God how she loved the feel of corded muscle under his skin.
“Now, now, don’t get caught up on the price.” Mark turned to face them. “I’ll make sure everything is gorgeous and we’ll stay in your budget. Charlotte’s done many things for me over the past two years while I got this place off the ground.”
Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Mark. We really appreciate it.”
The next fifteen minutes flew by as they discussed different flowers, centerpiece ideas, and thoughts on the setup for the reception. Mark and Charlotte agreed that two main arrangements could do double duty: They’d use them during the ceremony and then move them to flank the buffet table.
Standing in the cooler for so long was making her cold and when her thoughts strayed that direction, the hair on her shoulders began to rise in response. She gave a little shiver as Mark went on about the different varieties of white roses he had available.
Warm hands settled on her upper arms and rubbed up and down. Charlotte sucked in a breath and didn’t miss the subtle look and smile Mark sent her when he saw Dean touching her with such ease and familiarity. He didn’t break his speech or give anything away, just kept on with his explanation.
Charlotte expected Dean to pull away after rubbing her arms, but he held on, his hands settling just above her elbows, the feel of his skin nearly burning her. His thumbs gently traced back and forth on the backs of her arms, which made her shiver again. That made him stop, and she silently cursed her body’s involuntary responses.
She now knew what it felt like to kiss him. Today she saw how her body would react with just the lightest, innocent touch. It was almost too much to imagine what it would be like if he touched her entire naked body with real heat and passion.
Managing not to shiver a third time, Charlotte was relieved when they exited the cooler. The smaller space had forced her to stand way too close to Dean.
They’d decided that Alex’s bouquet would be a mix of delicate white roses, green and peach hydrangeas, succulents, and eucalyptus leaves. Nate’s boutonniere would be a tiny succulent backed by a single eucalyptus leaf. The overall look would be natural and elegant. Charlotte was beyond pleased with how things were coming together. She had finally begun to picture the wedding in her mind, and it surprised her how excited she felt about it.
“Well, I think we have a plan, my dears.” Mark glanced down at his notes. “Let me just run a few quick figures and I’ll let you know where we stand on these ideas.”
“Perfect. Thank you,” Charlotte and Dean said at the same time. When Mark walked to the rear of the shop and around to the back of the counter, it left the two of them somewhat alone. Within seconds music came on from the speakers in the ceiling, a local jazz radio station. Charlotte glanced over her shoulder to Mark, who gave her a quick wink and then refocused on his notepad and calculator.
She smiled. Did he assume after the cooler that they wished for a moment of privacy? Dean had wandered up to the front end of the shop and was eyeing a dining table made up for a dinner party complete with massive centerpiece and place settings. Hardly something a man like him would find so engaging. Was he back to avoiding her?
Deciding that wouldn’t do, Charlotte walked over to him. “This is beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Hmm. A little much. Who’d want to eat at a table this full of … stuff?” he whispered.
She laughed quietly. “It’s for inspiration.”
He sauntered to another display, this one patriotic, gearing up for Independence Day, which would arrive before they knew it. Dean picked up a packet of designer paper napkins that looked like American flags and then dropped it back down a little too firmly. “I hate that Alex re-enlisted.”
Whoa. That was out of left field and Charlotte wasn’t sure what to say. She could see that Dean felt very protective and paternal about his little sister. But Alexis was a grown woman. “Italy seems like a very safe place to be stationed.”
“It is, I think. Especially compared with the Middle East, where she’s been.”
“Where do they plan to live once they’re out?”
“I honestly don’t know. I hope around here.”
Charlotte smiled. “Just think. A couple of years from now, you could be a grandpa.” She said it to tease him, but the way he looked at her showed that he hadn’t appreciated it.
“Is that how you see me?”
“Oh my God, no! Not at all.” Charlotte regretted the joke completely, considering their previous conversations and the things Lauren had suggested. What had she been thinking? “I’m sorry. I just … in some ways you just seem more of a fatherly figure to Alex, and she is old enough for children. I … anyway. No. The last thing I imagine you as is grandfatherly. Remember, I saw you shirtless.”
She gave him a flirty smile, hoping it would ease things over, but his eyes narrowed. “Speaking of that. I think, uh, Jake is interested in being a model for you.”
Her eyes went wide. “Seriously? That would be amazing.”
His gaze shot to her and he shoved his hands in his pockets. “You think?”
“Well … yeah. I can totally see him as a book cover.”
Dean gave somewhat of a grunt and looked back at the table. “Yeah, well, just don’t make out with him, too.”
Charlotte’s head jerked back in shock. “Wow. Is that how you see me?” She threw his words back at him.
He shook his head and walked away toward the windows at the front of the store.
“Okay, ladies and gentleman. Here we go.” Mark came walking through the store toward them, and Charlotte forced herself to smile. In reality she was stewing at Dean’s comment. Why hadn’t they been able to find some sort of common ground since that stupid kiss?
Dean accepted the invoice from Mark, so Charlotte peeked over his shoulder to read it. She gasped. The proposed total was a steal. She was guessing not a whole lot over his cost.
“Oh, Mark. Are you sure?” Charlotte asked.
“Very. Now are we in business?”
Dean nodded and stuck out his hand, which this time Mark took. “Thank you, Mark. This means a lot. Really. And Alex will love your work.”
“Of course she will. And I want lots of photos, dear,” he said in Charlotte’s direction.
“Absolutely. And maybe some new canvases for the store.”
“Now we’re talking,” Mark said.
They said their good-byes and Charlotte led the way outside to the sidewalk. As soon as Dean joined her and the door shut, she turned. “Ready to explain yourself?”
“For what?” He tried looking confused, but she knew Dean was no dummy. He sidestepped her, making his way into the street and crossing toward the green space at the center of the square.
“Don’t make out with Jake?” She repeated his words back to him while following close on his heels.
“Charlotte, just forget it.” Dean stepped around a parked car and onto the sidewalk.
Once she caught up, she grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. He turned, a scowl on his handsome face.
“You do not get to make that comment and then walk away. Do you really think I make out with my models? I thought I was pretty clear about that.”
He sighed. “You were.”
Charlotte held up her hands in exasperation. “Soooo, your words were coming from a place of bitterness or jealousy? Or maybe regret? Just get it out there. Be honest with me, because I’m really over how ridiculous things have been between us since that day.”
“You want me to get it all out on the table?” he asked. Charlotte nodded, ignoring the few passersby walking through the park. “Okay, fine. When it comes to you photographing Jake? Yes. I’m jealous as hell.”
She swallowed and stared up at him. Here they went again, back and forth. “Why? It won’t be the same.”
Dean glanced around and then lowered his voice. “He’ll still take off his shirt. You’ll tell him to look … sexy, or hot, or whatever the hell it is you’ll want him to do.”
“That doesn’t mean I’ll like it.”
Dean gave her a long glance. “I’m not an idiot, Charlotte. And you’re not immune to a guy who looks like that.”
“Have you ever heard of self-control? Or loyalty, or even trust?”
“You don’t owe me anything. This is my issue. I shouldn’t have said anything, okay? I’m sorry.” He ran a hand down his face. “God, I keep apologizing to you, which is exactly why what we did was a mistake.”
Her heart sank. “Was kissing me that big a mistake?”
“Damn it.” He jammed his hands into his hair and then dropped them with a heavy sigh. “This is what I wanted to avoid. I didn’t want to feel this way. Didn’t want things to change between us.”
“But they did, so what now? How do we go back?”
“I don’t know if we can.”
“Then which way do we go? Forward? Sideways? Upside down? Because this weird thing we’re doing is bullshit.” Charlotte stepped closer to him, her neck bending to meet his gaze. “Dean, I liked kissing you. I don’t regret it. After all these years of flirting, it was totally natural for us to kiss. And if that’s all it’s going to be, then … we’re both adults. We can move past it.”
Dean shook his head. “It’s more than that, Charlotte, and you know it. If it was merely curiosity, this wouldn’t be a problem. I wouldn’t want to rip one of my best friends into shreds when I imagine you seeing him naked.”
Okay. Maybe they were getting somewhere. “He wouldn’t be naked,” she said with a smile.
“You know what I mean. I’ve always liked you, Charlotte. I’m a possessive guy and after kissing you … I’m just having a hard time reminding myself that I have no right to be that way with you.”
“But what if I want you to have the right?”
Dean stared down at her, his neck bulging as he swallowed. “You shouldn’t. It’s a bad idea.”
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re afraid of?” she asked quietly.
His lips pursed and he looked away. Charlotte watched as the wind blew the tips of his hair, the lightest bit of gray sparkling in the sun. His silence told her that Lauren had been close to the truth. Their age difference was a real problem for him, but if he couldn’t see past that, then why was she wasting her time trying to convince him she was worth the risk? It was starting to become apparent that he was being a real dick about the entire thing. If he couldn’t even admit his fear to her, there really was no use.
“I guess I’ll let you off the hook for that one. I have a lot of work to do,” she finally said. If he wanted to put up boundaries, she wasn’t going to beg. “We have two appointments next Tuesday. Both cake tastings. I’ll pick you up here since I know where they are.”
Dean nodded. “Sounds good.”
So she was right. He was willing to leave things like this, with him admitting he liked her and was jealous, but also unwilling to act on it or even speak about it. Fine. She had better things to do than wait for him to get over himself.
“All right. See you then.”
She began to turn and head for her car.
“Charlotte, wait.”
She turned back to find him watching her, hands in his pockets. “Thanks again for today. Getting us that deal on the flowers. I appreciate it.”
She gave him a pinched smile, because it was really tempting to tell him to go to hell. “Yeah, sure. What are friends for?”
And she walked away.