This is stupid.”
Agreed, Jackson thought tugging at the tie his sister had insisted he wear. He looked around—hardly any dad at the dance was wearing a tie. “It’s not that bad,” he lied.
“You don’t want to be here any more than I do,” Taylor said, calling his bluff and folding her arms across the front of the light blue dress he knew she’d had no input on. “You’re a fill-in for a stepdad. Have I mentioned this is stupid?” She pulled on the curls around her shoulders, tying them back into a messy ponytail with the elastic band she always wore around her wrist.
“Stop fidgeting. You look pretty.” True, he’d barely recognized his niece as she’d come out of her bedroom under duress, Becky threatening not to buy her the snowboard she wanted for Christmas otherwise. But, it was true; she looked like a little lady that evening and nothing like his star player, which put his protective uncle senses on high alert.
“I look like a girl,” she said, distress etched on her tiny features.
“Newsflash.”
She sighed. “Uncle Jackson, do we really have to stay?”
He hesitated. Becky thought this was important, and he really wasn’t in any position to contradict his sister’s parenting. She wanted Taylor to explore both sides of her personality, though he personally thought his sister was dreaming if she believed her daughter possessed even one feminine bone in her body. “Unfortunately, yes,” he said, taking in the decorated school gym. Green and gold helium-filled balloons covered the ceiling. Tables covered with gold paper tablecloths and balloon centerpieces were placed along the walls, framing a dance floor area. The DJ was set up on a stage in the corner, and the sound of hip-hop dance music filled the air. Strobe lighting and an aluminum foil–covered papier mâché disco ball completed the tacky setup. It brought back too many memories of his own school dances, where he’d felt just as uncomfortable and out of place.
“At least Dani’s here,” Taylor said, looking past him a second later.
He turned to see Dean enter the auditorium as well. So his buddy had made it. Good. He knew how important this was for Dani, even if Taylor had trouble with the idea.
“Let’s go talk to them,” he said. At least he’d be able to catch up with Dean, if nothing else. Though, he may not be able to get through a conversation with his friend without asking him if he’d lost his mind letting Abby go. And of course, he’d probably keep his own recent endeavors to himself. He wondered if Dean had been inside the house when he’d picked up Dani, if he and Abby had spoken…He couldn’t help but wonder how their first face-to-face as divorced parents had gone, or if she’d told Dean anything about them.
Probably not.
Then she appeared in the doorway, looking stunning in a dark blue, knee-length dress that clung to her hips and accentuated her tiny waist. Hips and waist he’d kissed every inch of. Hips and waist he couldn’t wait to get his lips on again. Unfortunately, after their on-display kiss at the fair, she was more adamant than ever to take things slow. He understood but didn’t love it. And how the hell was he supposed to be at this dance with her without being able to dance with her, hold her, kiss her? Yet another sense of déjà vu washed over him. “Actually, you know what? This is stupid.”
Taylor’s eyes lit up.
“Look, your mom wanted photos.” He grabbed his cell phone and dragged her in the opposite direction, over to the balloon archway in the corner. “Smile,” he said, leaning closer and barely giving her time to before he snapped the selfie and headed toward the empty dance floor. He took her hand in his and held the camera out. “Say cheese.” Snap.
By the time they reached the dessert and punch table, Taylor’s laughter was actually genuine. “You’re crazy, Uncle Jackson.”
“Do you want to get out of here or not?”
“More than I want to breathe,” she said, suddenly serious. “What’s next?”
“Pick up a cupcake,” he instructed.
She reached for a vanilla one with blue frosting, but he shook his head. “Not that one. One of the cherry chip ones with the red frosting your mom made.” His sister had instructed him to take at least one picture of her hard work in the kitchen before the kids got to them.
“Hey, buddy.”
Shit. So close.
Taylor stopped mid-bite and looked past him, her eyes wide. Pieces of cupcake fell from her mouth as she gaped. “Oh my God—Dean Underwood…” She pointed.
Dean laughed as Jackson turned to face him. “Hey! Look who made it,” he said, his eyes searching the auditorium for Abby.
“Hi there,” Dean said with a wave at Taylor, who was still frozen, staring at one of her hockey idols. “She okay?” he asked him.
Jackson wrapped an arm around her shoulder, drawing her forward. “Dean, this is Becky’s daughter, Taylor,” he said.
“My friend I’ve been telling you about,” Dani said, linking her hand in Dean’s. The look of pride on her face to be there with him made him glad that Dean had finally shown up for her. For his own sake that evening, not so much. Dean being there would no doubt have Abby on edge, and she certainly wouldn’t allow herself to be dragged into the equipment room for a quick kiss.
“Right, Taylor, the best left defenseman on the team.”
His niece blushed. Actually full-on blushed. He’d never thought it possible. “Th-thank you, Mr. Underwood…I’m a huge fan,” she said, finally finding her voice.
Dean smiled. “Call me Dean. Any friend of Dani’s is a friend of mine.”
“Dean,” his niece whispered, still in a fangirl trance.
Jackson shoved her shoulder. “Why don’t you take my phone and go get some shots of you and Dani doing stuff so we can get out of here,” he said, handing her his cell.
She frowned. “What’s the rush, Uncle Jackson? The dance just started.”
Wow.
“Come on, let’s go take a picture in the wacky photo booth,” Dani said.
Taylor hesitated.
“I’ll be right here,” Dean reassured with a wink.
Taylor looked ready to faint as she nodded and allowed Dani to drag her toward the rented photo booth, where dozens of kids were lined up waiting for their turn to put on crazy hats and glasses and get their photos taken.
So much for getting out of there.
“So, buddy, how’s things?” Dean asked, sliding his hands into his pockets.
“Good.” His friend’s ex-wife was driving him to distraction, but other than that…
“The business? Still doing well?”
“Yeah. Just bought a place over on…” He stopped. Dean obviously had been to the house to get Dani. Did Abby tell him she was renting and possibly buying his house? He wasn’t about to say anything. He knew Dean thought he despised Abby. Admitting that they’d gotten friendly—understatement—wouldn’t be a good idea. “It’s going well.”
“Good to hear. I tried calling you about the Colorado Eagles tryouts. Did you hear about them?”
“Yeah, I got a call from Coach Turner last week.” He shrugged. He’d yet to return the man’s calls, and tryouts were coming up fast. He just wasn’t sure going back was the right move. Especially not now with things progressing—painfully slow—with Abby. Being two hours away in Loveland wouldn’t help, with a training and game schedule keeping him so busy.
“That’s great. These are closed tryouts, man. I know a bunch of guys who were hoping to get that call. You’re going to try out, right?”
At first, he’d been tempted, but the more he’d thought about his odds, the less the idea appealed to him. Making a fool out of himself by not making a team he’d once been a part of was the last thing his ego needed. “Ben’s been harassing me every other day about it, but I don’t think I will,” he said with a shrug.
Dean stared at him as though he’d lost his mind. “Why the hell not?”
“I’m almost thirty, man. The minors are full of nineteen-year-old kids. They’re younger, faster, more skilled…I’d look pathetic trying out for a team I quit three years ago.”
“Look, I’m telling you, these kids may be quick, but they aren’t more skilled. And with all of the players getting injured this season, all the teams are bringing guys up from the farm teams.”
“Ben said they brought four guys up last game.” He’d never seen a season where so many new players were getting their shot.
“Exactly my point. Guys are getting called up, leaving the minor teams scrambling for players. The thing is, if they bring in a few other men like yourself, they can keep their nineteen-year-olds, so the kids don’t have to feel the pressure of going up and down. You have to go for this, man.”
“I appreciate your confidence, I really do. I just think that part of my life is over.” And he hoped a new chapter was beginning. His gaze landed on Abby pouring glasses of punch behind the drinks table and his heart raced. Definitely hoping life was taking a new, better direction.
“It doesn’t have to be,” Dean was saying, “Six months on the minor team, and I guarantee, you’ll get called up and get a chance to play this time.”
Jackson shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s what I want anymore,” he said, but he had to admit talking about the opportunity with his buddy had gotten him slightly hopeful. Maybe he could succeed this time. Either way he knew he had to make a decision soon. If he decided to go for it, every waking minute of the next week would be spent on the ice. And if he made the team, he’d be living in Loveland…He glanced at Abby again. But damn, even twenty feet away was proving too much. “I’ll think about it.”
Dean slapped his back. “Good. I wouldn’t want to have called in my favor to Coach Turner for nothing.”
What? His buddy had gotten him the invite to the tryouts? He’d thought his past playing record had secured the spot. It was good enough. “You talked to Coach Turner?”
“I just got you the invite. The rest is up to you, and I know you’ll kick ass.”
His friend was still trying to help him with a hockey career, still believing in him…and he’d slept with his wife. He felt like a complete asshole, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret his actions. And he hadn’t asked Dean for the favor.
Dean’s gaze fell across the room. “Abigail looks like she’s doing well. New house, new job…” he said.
Jackson shifted uncomfortably at the mention of her. Time and distance must have weakened his bond with his friend because he couldn’t detect the underlying meaning in the words. Was he happy for her? It was hard to tell. “Um…yeah.” He nodded, staring at her and hoping the truth about his feelings wasn’t written all over his face.
“She looks amazing.”
Yes, she did.
“I think I fucked up.”
Think? But it was too late now, wasn’t it?
“I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, especially since signing those divorce papers. I made some mistakes, you know. It’s the game. It’s being away so much.” He ran a hand through his beard. “And then seeing her tonight. She looks amazing,” he said.
“Yes, you said that.” Jackson’s voice was hard as he turned to face him. Was Dean for real? He’d put Abby through hell and now, because she looked amazing and was doing fine without him, he wanted her back? “Dean, you’re not serious, right? I mean, you hurt her a lot.”
Dean’s eyes narrowed, then he pat him on the shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, buddy. It’s not your problem.”
Damn right it was his problem. He wasn’t sitting on the sidelines while Dean tried to take what he wanted—in that moment—only to hurt her again when another set of long legs walked past. “Well, actually…”
“Dad, come on, let’s get our picture taken under the balloons,” Dani said, running up to them.
“Okay…Hey, why don’t we ask your mom to join us,” he said, his gaze locked on Jackson.
A brief flash of disappointment registered on the little girl’s face but Dean didn’t notice.
“Okay,” she said.
“See you later, man,” Dean said as they headed off toward Abby.
There’s no way Abby will agree to it. He watched as they spoke, saw the look of terror in her eyes come and go before finally nodding and following them to the balloon arch.
Damn. This was bullshit.
Unfortunately, they looked like the perfect, beautiful family smiling for the camera and his heart fell into his stomach. Was his buddy too late realizing his mistake? Or was the history they shared and the fact they had Dani enough for them to try again? Did Abigail want that? He stared at her, trying to determine what might be going through her mind—and her heart—at that moment, but he couldn’t tell. All he did know for sure was this familiar scene in front of him wasn’t something he could continue to put himself through.
“Can we go now?” Taylor asked at his side, as though reading his mind.
“Yep.”
* * *
As she watched Dean and Dani dancing to a hip-hop song among the other father and daughter couples, Abigail smiled. Her daughter looked happier than she’d seen her in a long time. Maybe they would all be okay. Dean could swoop onto the scene when he would, and between those times, she and Dani would make a new future together.
And hopefully someday she’d be ready to include someone else in their lives. A certain someone in particular. Her gaze scanned the gym for Jackson. She’d seen him earlier with Taylor, and he’d looked so amazing in his suit, filling in for Neil, that her heart had melted. She’d also seen him talking to Dean, but now he was nowhere in sight.
So much for a sneaked kiss in the equipment room.
Despite telling him that they needed to go slow, the urge to go fast—very fast—hadn’t faded. In fact, in the few days she hadn’t seen him, he’d been constantly on her mind. She’d missed him.
“Hey, sweetheart, would you mind if I danced with your mom for this one?” she heard Dean ask Dani as they approached, and her heart stopped.
“Oh, no…” She shook her head as she glanced at her daughter. How could he not see how disappointed Dani looked right now? How could he not realize how much she missed him the last few months or how excited she was that he was there? And why on earth was he acting as though they were all still some big happy family? The ink on the divorce papers was certainly dry by now. She was moving on. And her growing feelings for Jackson had a lot to do with her healing heart.
“Come on, Abby. For old times’ sake,” he said.
Old times’ sake? The man had to be crazy.
“Go ahead, Mom. My feet hurt anyway,” Dani said.
“No,” she said firmly, staring at Dean. Then turning to Dani, she added, “I still have to finish up here before I can leave. I’m sure your feet can make it through one more dance,” she said with a wink, ignoring Dean as she continued to toss empty paper plates and cups from the tables into the garbage bag she held.
She released a breath as the two headed back onto the dance floor. What was going on with Dean? For months he’d ignored her, dealing only through the lawyers, and when they did talk, they hadn’t exactly been friendly. Now he wanted family photos and a dance with her? She’d caught him staring at her so often that she’d actually been uncomfortable. Whatever his new motive was, she didn’t like it. And she hoped Dani wouldn’t get caught in the middle of any more tension between them. Just get through a few more minutes.
She finished cleaning, fighting the knot in the pit of her stomach, and twenty minutes later, she hugged Dani in the school parking lot before her daughter set off to spend the night with Dean at his hotel.
“You’re hurting me,” Dani croaked.
“Sorry…Okay…” She reluctantly let her go. It was just one night. No different than when she slept over at Taylor’s.
Who was she trying to kid? This was so much more stressful. An hour away in Denver, with Dean. Why had she said yes? The court document clearly stated she had all the say in the custody arrangement, but she couldn’t deny her daughter this time with her father. Even if she would be up all night worrying and thinking the worst.
“You have everything?” she asked.
“Yes, Mom,” Dani said, wiping her lipstick off of her cheek.
Still she held on.
“Mom, let go,” Dani said, peeling her fingers from her arm.
“Okay, sorry. You’ll have a great time.” While she lay awake worrying sick about her. She forced a smile as Dani climbed into the rental car.
Dean closed the passenger side door and walked toward her. “She’ll be fine.”
She nodded.
“I’ll have her back tomorrow by noon.”
She nodded.
“You know you’re welcome to join us,” he said.
Her eyes narrowed. Suddenly she was seeing this visit with Dani, the perfect father act, for what it was. “You came here to spend time with Dani, remember?”
He frowned. “I just thought all of us together again might…”
“Might what, Dean?” she hissed, lowering her voice so Dani wouldn’t hear. Lord knows the little girl had already heard and witnessed enough of their fighting.
“Look, I realize I messed up. After signing the papers, I’ll admit, I panicked a little. I miss you…and Dani.” He touched her arm.
She backed away. He couldn’t be serious right now.
“I really think I want my family back.”
Really thought he wanted his family back? Not definitely wanted his family back, but maybe? Well, she was completely certain that she didn’t want him back. Her hands clenched at her sides. “That’s not up to you.”
He stepped forward. “Don’t be so angry at me that you refuse to even think about it. Look how happy Dani was tonight, the three of us together,” he said, handing her the photo of them under the balloon arch.
She took it and tucked it under her arm. Allowing the picture to happen had been a mistake. One she wouldn’t be repeating. “Have a good night. Don’t let her stay up too late, and have her home by noon, please.”
“I know about the kiss with Jackson,” he said, his expression suddenly unreadable.
She gulped. Fantastic. She felt her higher ground start to cave beneath her feet, but dug in her heels. She had no reason to feel guilty or make excuses. She was a free woman, and she’d do as she pleased. “Dani told you?”
“Yes. And I forgive you.”
Her eyes widened. “You forgive me? For kissing a man after we were divorced? How big of you.”
“I forgive you for kissing my best friend in an attempt to get back at me,” he said.
That’s what he thought? She was tempted to let him think it since it was none of his business anyway, and it was a much easier explanation. But she shook her head as she moved closer. “I didn’t kiss Jackson to get back at you.” She hadn’t had sex with him for that reason, either. “I kissed him because I wanted to. You never even crossed my mind. In fact, you never cross my mind anymore, Dean.”
He stared at her a second longer, as though weighing her words, before turning and getting into the car.
Forcing a smile despite her fuming anger at Dean, she waved at Dani as they pulled out of the lot. She couldn’t believe the way the evening had turned out. He thought he wanted them back. He thought they should give it another try. He must be insane. There was only one man she wanted. And it wasn’t her ex-husband.