“This is not on your road trip mix.” I can’t help but laugh as Jake notches the volume higher.

He gives me a quick glimpse before turning back to the highway and completely belting out a line of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

“This is a classic, sing your heart out song … and so yes, it is on the playlist. Don’t judge me, you probably have Radio Disney or something in your CD player.”

I sip some of my iced coffee and put it back in the cup holder. “Easy with the mommy jokes, stud. And for your information, when Lennon does get out of the car, I have Notorious B.I.G. on repeat.”

“Of course you do.” Jake rests his right hand on my thigh, his left arm commanding the wheel of his truck in a cocksure, sexy manner.

We pass a sign telling us we’ve just left Pennsylvania, and I’m into territory that I’ve never ventured to before. You would think that growing up on the East Coast, I would have visited the Big Apple, or somewhere close to it. But I’ve never been more north of Connecticut, and the only time I visited there, I was visiting Mystic Pizza because mom was obsessed with the movie and dad wanted to give her the trip.

I placed my hand over his where it rested on my jeans, opening the window to breathe in a little of that northern air. It smelled more like fall up here, the last days of August passing through our fingers. Jake was taking me upstate, to his childhood home in Buffalo. I may have been through a lot of stuff in my life, but I was still as nervous as a sixteen-year-old high schooler going to her crush’s house to meet his parents. His family was opening a new dealership and he was apparently expected to be there.

And while he hadn’t explicitly said it, I could see the tension in the lines on his face. Could feel it in his body language. I was just hoping we could both escape unscathed and spend the rest of the weekend how we planned … at a bed and breakfast on Seneca Lake, touring wineries. Nothing like drunk sex in the last days of summer alone with your boyfriend.

I laugh quietly, thinking about how lucky I am in this moment. I thought I’d had my great love, the one that I’d spent years on and came out with nothing. As a twenty-seven-year-old, I knew that was a depressing train of thought. But when you’re a single mom, sometimes it feels like nothing in your life will ever be normal again. Like you won’t get the traditional happily ever after because you’ve skipped a few steps and life doesn’t like when you veer off course.

“Thanks for coming, babe. I’m just happy to get you all to myself.”

I picked up the magazine I’d brought for reading … some trashy tabloid that I couldn’t get enough of. “I’m happy to have a little vacation, and I guess it’s better that it’s with you. Do you know that this is the first time I’ve taken a trip without Lennon?”

Jake changes lanes. “You’re in dire need of it then, I’d say. Maybe I’ll even show you my childhood bedroom … nothing like fucking on a squeaky twin bed.”

His eyebrows go up and down suggestively, and I can’t help but stare at him. Jesus, he’s pretty. With that strong jaw, that dimple, the hair like a golden Adonis that is rumpled like I just held on tight. Like that night in the kitchen at his office.

I flush at the thought of the way we went at each other, groping and grinding like animals. Shit, it was so hot. Things in the sex department were the best I’d ever had, and when it came to the connection between our personalities, it was like I’d found a spark I’d been waiting a long time for. His relationship with Lennon had blossomed too, and she was getting more used to him being around the apartment. It had been a few months since we’d been seeing each other, and I felt like after this weekend, we were going to take another step. Going away together as a couple was a big deal … add meeting someone’s family in there, and it was huge.

“What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever done in a car?” I ask randomly, bored with already being in the car for two and a half hours.

“As in … sex? I’m not sure how weird you can get in a car but—”

I put my hand over his mouth. “While I am kind of curious what the rest of that sentence might be, I don’t need to hear about any sex besides the kind that happens between you and me. No, I mean, are you one of those people who clips their toenails while driving? Or something else odd or weird?”

Jake snorts, and tilts his head like he’s thinking. “Yeah … okay. This one time I was driving one of the trucks around the neighborhoods, early days of the business, and I got hungry. I typically won’t eat the ice cream on a route, I feel like I’m losing myself money or something. So I saw that one of the guys had left some bread and peanut butter in the middle of the seats … and while driving, I made myself a peanut butter sandwich.”

“You couldn’t have just pulled over?” I smile at his goofy expression.

“Time is money, baby. And I am a good multi-tasker, especially with my hands. I think you have seen that work in action.”

“God, you’re cheesy.” I lean my seat back a little, impatient on long car rides.

“How about you? What’s the craziest car ride story in your arsenal?”

I know exactly what the tale is, but blush before I go into it. “Okay, you should know that it was bumper to bumper traffic, and even though its unsafe, I was totally being as careful as I could.”

“Why am I worried to hear this story now?” Those green eyes meet mine briefly.

I wave him off. “So this one day in Seattle, I got caught in the worst traffic. I’m talking not moving for hours at a time. And at first it was okay, because Lennon was asleep in the back peacefully. But then she woke up, and she started wailing. Crying bloody murder … I thought she was going to shatter my eardrums. And I knew she was hungry so … so I went back and unbuckled her and brought her up front. And I … I started breastfeeding her. She quieted right down! That was all she wanted, and we still hadn’t moved. But then I made eye contact with the guy in the car next to me, and I swear, he was staring so hard at my boobs that my nipples might as well have turned to him and waved hi.”

Jake begins to laugh, the sound high and loud. "You really gave him a show? It was breast-to-breast traffic!"

I crack up too. "I swear, he was so interested in my breastfeeding that he almost hit the car in front of him."

"A tit and run!" Jake slaps the steering wheel, and we dissolve into a fit of laughter.

"So yeah, that's my weird car story. I totally topped yours, we need to have you do something strange on this road trip."

He adjusts his body in the seat. "I know one thing I haven't gotten while driving ..."

Glancing down, my eyes grow bigger when I see the tent he has going in his pants.

“If I put my mouth on that, it might be a moving violation.”

We both laugh, the song changing on the radio to “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.”

“You planned that, didn’t you?” I take another sip of my coffee.

“If Meatloaf insists …” He winks, taking an exit for another highway.

We fall into a contented silence, both of us singing a few words here and there. I read my magazine and text Mom for a while, her sending me half blurry pictures of Lennon running around.

“So tell me again about your family … how many siblings do you have?”

Jake sighs, and I know I’ve broached a subject that he’s been trying to avoid. “Three siblings, two brothers and a sister. I’m the youngest, so of course I was always the one who got picked on.”

“And they all live in the same town? I’ve always wondered what that would be like, to live one place your whole life, surrounded by family.” At times, I thought it actually sounded pretty nice. Everything was familiar, people knew your family and your name.

“It’s boring and settled, trust me. Sure, I guess it could be comforting in some sense, but none of my brothers or sister have ever worked for anything. They graduated, were paid for to go to college, and then handed a position in the family business. When it came my turn, I just … I couldn’t do it.”

I’m not sure what to say, because clearly this is a sticking point with him. I want to be supportive, but I also want to give his family a chance.

Jake clears his throat, apparently done with talking about the family we are driving almost seven hours to go see.

“How about you, are you an only child? I’ve never seen anyone else at Molly’s house for the couple of years I’ve been driving around her neighborhood.”

That makes me sad … and a little guilty that I was away on the other side of the country for so many years. I took her for granted sometimes, but Mom was probably thrilled that we were living back in the DC metro area.

“My brother, Charlie, is actually in Africa, saving lives. Little bro always did have to outshine me … just kidding, I love him, but we haven’t seen each other much in the last couple of years. And then my dad … he died when I was a teenager. I don’t think Mom has really ever been able to completely move on from it, although I would absolutely be supportive of her finding someone to make her happy.”

“Oh shit, Samantha, I’m … I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be, he was an amazing dad. I was lucky to have the time I did with him.”

Jake clears his throat, his hand finding mine where it rests on the other side of the car. “If it makes you feel better, I can commiserate. I lost my mom when I was ten.”

Tears fill my eyes, and I blink them away. All this time we’d been seeing each other, and neither of us knew that we had way more in common than we’d imagined.

“I guess that just makes us two members of the same club no one wants to be in, huh?”

He nods, and I can’t help but lean over and kiss his cheek, my lips lingering there, my nose soaking in his clean, minty scent.

“It’s weird, but ever since we met … well, again, I’ve felt a deeper connection with you than almost anyone I’ve come across in my life. Maybe there is a truth to saying that souls seek out other souls they find similar.”

Now emotion clogs my throat. “That is beautiful. And I think you’re right.”

I kept his fingers laced in mine but sat back in the passenger seat, content to know that I was with someone who, even before I knew him, already shared so many of the same life experiences.

And now I was thinking that maybe it wasn’t just happenstance after all that led me to moving back home.