Chapter Twenty
Sam hadn’t been to a wedding in he didn’t know how long. He couldn’t even begin to think about the last time he’d worn a suit, because he was pretty sure it had been Abby’s funeral.
It was odd how that pang could change. Something about being around more people, talking—not just to Hayley, but with Tori, and about wedding plans—this sort of odd half-forced, half-chosen re-entry into the actual living of life dulled the sharp edges of that pain.
It still hurt that Abby was gone, he still suffered from a heavy dose of guilt, but it was more sad than angry. More wistful than damaging. When you actually lived life, you had to come to grips with the fact you couldn’t change it. Not anything that had happened.
There were definitely some mixed feelings about the prospect of watching Brandon and Lilly get married this afternoon, in that it made him think about Abby never getting the chance, but celebrating the marriage and love of two people who were very important to him was important in its own right. Special.
All things he’d never say aloud, but would ruminate on all by himself.
He finished packing the little bag to take down to Mile High headquarters, where he would be getting ready with Will and Brandon. Tori sat at his kitchen table, watching him with an eagle eye and an expression Sam couldn’t read.
She hadn’t bolted when he’d told her that Will and Brandon knew she was here, but neither had she said anything about actually talking to the Evans brothers. She had stayed hidden at Sam’s cabin, and her days were running out. Sam got the feeling she didn’t believe that he’d actually kick her out once the two weeks were up, but he was going to have to draw a line in the sand. Because he owed some loyalty to Will too, and because he was tired of sharing his tiny cabin with the small but noisy woman at his table and the giant dog who sat at her feet.
“You could come, you know. I think it’s a gesture Brandon would appreciate.”
Tori didn’t say anything, and in the end she shrugged. She didn’t offer one word, just shrugged. Sam sighed.
“Well, there will be signs all along the trail to get you to the wedding if you change your mind. Ceremony starts at four, the reception will directly follow and goes as long as it goes.”
Not an iota of a reaction, she looked at him blankly, moving to idly pet Sarge.
“I know you don’t want to tell me what’s really going on, and that’s fine. But you came to Gracely for a reason. You’re here for a reason, and after what? Seven some years? As someone who . . . didn’t deal with their shit in all that time, I can tell you, it’s not going to get easier.”
A knock sounded at the door and Sam knew it would be Hayley, with Lilly’s nephew and Skeet, to move the arbor to the wedding site.
“Because you’ve dealt with all your shit, Sam?” Tori muttered disgustedly.
“I’m getting there,” Sam returned, opening the door to the woman who had flicked that particular domino.
It was an odd trio. Hayley, Skeet, and a ten-year-old boy. But Sam had no doubt they would figure it all out. If only because Lilly was somewhere, willing it so.
“Morning, guys,” Sam greeted. “I’ll help you get the arbor onto the truck, and then it’s up to you guys from there.”
He slung his bag over his shoulder and followed Hayley, Skeet, and Micah outside.
They worked together to walk the arbor down the pathway and into Brandon’s truck, which Hayley had borrowed this morning.
“So, how many times do you think Lilly will come check in on us?” Hayley asked with a grin.
“Well, if she had her way? Approximately forty-two, but I think her sister will tie her to a chair if at all possible.”
“Yeah, my mom already told Aunt Lilly she’d do it happily,” Micah piped up. Clearly the boy was getting some enjoyment out of being counted among the adults. Although he was only ten, he was a tall kid, strong and eager to help.
“If you have any problems, call down to Mile High. One of us will do what we can.”
“We will,” Hayley said, and although she talked as cheerfully as she usually did, Sam was getting adept enough at reading her that he knew something was wrong. She wasn’t her exuberant, happy self, especially on the day of the wedding that she had been pretty excited about.
“Everything okay?”
Her smile widened, still not its normal wattage even if it was its normal size. “Everything is great.”
Sam had the unrelenting urge to do something as simple as brush a kiss against her mouth. Just a simple I’m here. It was still disorienting to want to offer those things, but Hayley always made it easy.
Still, he didn’t move. This was complicated. Skeet was no great conversationalist, but Sam knew he’d tell everyone in a heartbeat if he saw any signs of romance between him and Hayley.
A romance which just . . . wasn’t going to fly. Not today and probably not anytime soon. A lot of things needed to be worked out first.
So, he said his goodbyes and went to his Jeep. He drove down to Mile High headquarters knowing he needed to screw his head on straight. Which meant not worrying about Hayley. She was a grown woman. She could take care of herself.
The plan was for Lilly to get ready at her house with her sister, along with the florist and photographer. Brandon, Will, and Sam were supposed to get ready by themselves, wait for the photographer to arrive for pictures, and then they would head up to the ceremony, then do some pictures all together afterwards.
Sam was looking forward to precisely none of this, though he had determined that he wasn’t going to complain. He was going to force his best happy face and do whatever Lilly or Brandon asked of him.
He doubled that determination when he walked in to see Will slumped in an armchair looking extraordinarily hungover.
Brandon was dressed in his suit, talking with someone on video chat.
“Will and Sam aren’t dressed yet, so you cannot okay them. I would also like to point out this is insanity and we know how to dress ourselves.”
As Sam approached he could see the screen of Brandon’s phone. Apparently he was video chatting a wall.
“The arbor is being delivered as we speak,” Sam offered, figuring the mystery figure on the other end of the chat was Lilly.
“I wonder if I should run up to check and make sure—”
“Hayley and Skeet have it covered. You know they wouldn’t let you down.”
There was an exhaled breath.
“Do you know how creepy it is to talk to a blank wall?” Sam asked.
“Get dressed if you would, please,” Lilly said with a kind of fake cheerfulness. “You too, Will.”
Will grunted something and lurched to his feet, muttering disgruntled curses as he walked down the hall. Sam followed Will into the office-slash-bedroom that was Will and Brandon’s. Sam tossed his bag on the bed while Will glared at the suits that were hung up in the open closet.
He collapsed onto the bed. “You know, I thought we had more time to, I don’t know, not get dressed in these monkey suits.”
“Lilly wants pictures before. She told you that.”
“This is why you elope to Las Vegas,” Will grumbled, crossing his arms over his face.
Sam gave Will a doleful look that Will couldn’t see but he certainly had to feel.
“I get it didn’t work out for me, but I married a lingerie model. That wouldn’t have worked if I got married in the Vatican.”
“You know you have to get your shit together, right?” Because Will kind of frayed and hungover at his brother’s wedding . . . it was more than slightly concerning.
“Don’t push me right now, Sam,” Will said in a low, serious voice.
“I’m just telling you. As a friend. If the situation were reversed, you would tell me the same thing.”
“If the situation were reversed, would I be poking my nose—and possibly other extremities—around my newly found half sister?”
Sam froze. “Excuse me?”
“You’re not very covert about it. The least you could do is pretend like you don’t want to get in her pants.”
“The last time I’ve been near anyone’s pants was about a millennia ago, so maybe you want to back off.”
“I see the way you look at her. I see the way she acts around you. I’m just letting you know, friend, you better be damn careful where you step.”
“If this is about Tor—”
“Nothing is about that b . . .” He trailed off as his eyes went wide, his gaze stuck on the doorway.
And there was Tori. Somehow, out of the blue, standing there, her arms crossed over her chest.
“That what?” Tori asked, eyebrow raised. As if she had a damn right. Well, Tori had never been very good at knowing when to back down from a fight.
The look on Will’s face made Sam regret he’d ever kept Tori a secret. This was bigger than he’d understood, and he could only see it now in the violent shimmer of air between two of his best friends.
“When I said you could come to the wedding, I didn’t quite mean this,” Sam murmured.
“I wanted to make sure I had Brandon’s seal of approval before I crashed his wedding. He was surprisingly ecstatic about it. Unlike some people.”
“Tori. Come on. Don’t push.”
“Oh, what? Can’t Will take it?” She gave the silent man in question a fake sad look. “Is he so fragile he can’t take a little push? Needs big old Sam to protect him?”
Will slid off the bed and took a few steps toward Tori—slow, measured, predatory steps. Tori didn’t back down, and Sam could only stare, frozen. He should break this up, but at the same time, was it his business to break this up? He might have a little inkling of what had happened between them, but surely there was something he was missing for them to display this much animosity.
Will towered over Tori, who stood there taking his blazing fury with her chin up, giving back her own fury tenfold.
There was nothing but a potent, angry silence. Sam didn’t know how to interfere without making everything worse.
“If you’ll excuse me,” Will said, his voice sharp as an ax blade. “I have to use the restroom. And you are in my way.”
“That’s quite a greeting.”
“Maybe if you disappear for another seven and a half years and come back, I’ll have a different one. But for now, stay the fuck out of my way.”
He took another step forward and Tori finally gave in, moving her shoulder out of the way so he could pass. They carefully avoided touching one another.
Sam let out a breath, rubbing his fingers against his forehead.
“Did you really have to do that on Brandon’s wedding day?”
“You’re the reason they know I’m here, and you said I should come. Brandon did welcome me, regardless of his idiot brother’s feelings. So I’m going to be at the wedding.”
“That’s fine, but could you at least remain scarce until the ceremony?”
“I don’t get why we need to protect poor little Will. He’s a big boy. He can handle himself.”
“You don’t know what Will has been through since you disappeared.”
“So enlighten me.”
“I don’t know what Will has been through, but I know it wasn’t good.”
“What? The lingerie wife not rubbing his feet and making him dinner every night? Must be tough.”
So, Tori didn’t know Will had gotten divorced. Another thing that wasn’t his place to talk about. God, life with people was complicated. Why on earth did he want to come back into it and get mixed up in all of these emotions again?
But here he was, and he couldn’t go back.
It was quite the realization. He couldn’t go back to the man he’d been. By stepping incrementally forward, bit by little bit, he had made progress he couldn’t undo. No matter what happened. He was here. He was alive. He was participating.
Little half steps wouldn’t cut it anymore. Because he wasn’t dead. He’d punished himself in grief for years, and now was the time not to timidly ease his way out, but to climb. Certain and confident this was where he belonged.
“You’re going to have to find something to wear,” he offered in light of not having anything else to say.
“I’ve got something to wear. Just keep that asshole away from me.”
“Tori . . .”
“What?”
“You are all important to me.” He struggled with the next words, but he knew he had to say them if he was committed to this change in himself. And he was, more every day. “I love you all, no matter what happens, or did happen. But if you’re going to force me to take sides, I have to take the side that saved my life. Not the side who disappeared.”
Tori didn’t say anything to that, she just turned around and left, much like Will had.
Sam let out a long breath. It was going to be a hell of a day.
* * *
Hayley had been nervous a lot of times in the past year: being in Gracely, the few attempts she’d made to approach Brandon and Will in the past few months. Nerves had assaulted her then, and most of her life.
She wasn’t sure why the nerves were even bigger right now, when she was supposed to finally be settling into this life.
Okay. Maybe that wasn’t true. She wasn’t clueless. This was her first family function as a partial member of the Evans family, and that had to be tied up in why she felt nauseous.
She was going to watch her half brother and his fiancée promise themselves to each other. In a very intimate ceremony that only a few people were invited to.
Hayley wasn’t sure what the dress code for an outdoor wedding was, but she had seen the florist putting the flowers on the arbor and chairs that were elegantly lined up. Even though it was outdoorsy and rustic, it was super classy. Lilly had obviously planned it to the last meticulous detail.
Hayley didn’t want to look out of place. She’d bought a dress in Benson a few days ago, probably the most expensive item of clothing she’d ever owned. She’d purchased a pair of heels to match. Heels. Which she’d only ever worn when forced by her mother. She’d spent too much time trying to apply makeup, even longer trying to tame her hair.
When she looked in the mirror, she didn’t even recognize herself. She looked like someone sophisticated and classy. She looked like an adult and . . .
And someone who could absolutely earn the attention of Sam Goodall.
That thought only made the nerves flutter harder. She wanted to impress too many people, and accomplish too many things. But there wasn’t time to dwell on it. She got in her car and drove to the parking lot of Solace Falls.
Hayley was downright giddy at the thought of Sam seeing her like this. She knew it would surprise him, and he would have a reaction, and she was beyond eager to see what it would be.
There was still an underlying strangeness to everything, because she’d had that weird kind of fight with Will. Plus, she wasn’t quite sure how she should act around Tori, considering she’d received only the most superficial explanation of how they all knew each other.
She didn’t know how she fit into this circle of family and friends. Luckily Brandon had assured Hayley that his mother wouldn’t be there, and though Hayley felt a little bad, she was relieved. She wasn’t sure if Brandon and Will’s mother even knew about her existence.
She parked her car, noting only a few others. It was probably the smallest wedding she had ever attended, and there was something really cool about that, that Brandon and Lilly were going to make their vows in front of the people who truly mattered to them. People who cared about them as individuals, and as a couple. People who would be there every day to support them as they became parents.
Hayley so desperately wanted to count herself among those people. It was like a physical ache.
But she tried to ignore that as she parked her car and got out of it. This was Brandon and Lilly’s day and she wanted to celebrate it.
A cute wooden sign was posted at the beginning of the trail to Solace Falls, which read Evans–Preston Wedding in pretty painted script, with an arrow at the bottom, pointing to the trailhead.
A man sat in a little ATV that would take guests who didn’t want to walk—or like her, couldn’t in their heels—the short way to the wedding site. She thought Skeet was supposed to have been the driver, but the man sitting in the driver’s seat looked nothing like the grizzled old member of Mile High.
But the closer Hayley got, the more she realized that’s exactly who it was. He’d cut off the gnarly white ponytail he usually sported, and though he’d kept his beard, much like the Mile High boys, he’d trimmed it.
He was even wearing a suit. A really nice one. He looked like any kindly grandfather might.
“Stop staring at me, little girl. Never seen a man clean himself up before?”
Hayley grinned. He might look different, but he sounded the same. If a little less grunty. “Not so well. I barely recognized you.”
Skeet preened a little bit and Hayley tried not to giggle.
“You’re looking quite fancy yourself. Get in. I’ll take you down to the ceremony.”
Hayley slid into the passenger seat. The ATV had clearly been cleaned very well to accommodate guests in nice clothing.
“I’m sure he told you, but as someone who’s been with these boys since they started Mile High, I wanted to make sure you knew that it does mean a lot to Brandon that you’re here and part of this.”
Hayley blinked at the man who she’d pretty much only ever heard grunt before today. “Thank you. That . . . that actually means quite a bit coming from you.”
Then he did what she was far more used to Skeet doing: He grunted.
They bounced along the short little drivable trail to where the wedding would be held. It looked even more beautiful than it had when she’d left this morning. The arbor, which was gorgeous in its own right, was draped with big white flowers and dramatic greenery. The mismatched chairs that somehow looked perfect were lined up on either side of an aisle covered with a beautiful white runner. On the edges of the aisle chairs were more of the big white flowers and greenery.
A few people sat in the chairs. Hayley waved at Patty, her old boss at the café, who’d flown in from Denver. She knew the man sitting next to her ran the Gracely Lodge. There was the baker from town, who had been in charge of the cake, and the florist from Benson.
Brandon, Will, and Sam were standing toward the front in their suits, looking . . . She didn’t even know how to explain how they looked. Still bearded, but a little bit more clean shaven than usual. In their fashionable, dapper suits. It was nearly incongruous—nice clothing on these men who were more like the mountains behind them and the sky above them. Big and strong and vibrant. They had certainly been made for these mountains that they loved so much.
Good men with good hearts and painful pasts. She wanted to give them each a big hug . . . Maybe a little bit more than a hug to Sam, but that was beside the point.
She tentatively climbed out of the ATV and smoothed down her dress before taking a few nervous steps toward the cluster of chairs.
She’d sit down and wait for the ceremony to start. She’d let everyone else set the tone for how involved she should be. But before she could take a seat, all three of the Mile High men approached her.
“Thanks for getting the arbor here. Everything looks great,” Brandon greeted cheerfully. She could read the nerves and excitement in him, and she went with that first instinct that she’d tried to fight. She reached out and gave him an incredibly awkward hug. He patted her back and whispered a thank-you, and she knew that even though it was awkward, the gesture meant something to him.
“Who knew you three could clean up so handsomely. And Skeet . . . I’m surprised Lilly doesn’t just run away with him.”
She was gratified when they laughed at her joke, even more gratified when Will smiled. Whatever tension had been between them was forgotten, at least for today.
“Oh, there’s the minister. Things should be starting soon.” Brandon excused himself, and the easy smile on Will’s face immediately disappeared. When Hayley glanced at where Brandon had gone, she noticed Tori was getting out of the ATV that had just brought the minister as well.
Hayley wished there was something she could do to fix this or ease things. It didn’t have all that much to do with her, but she’d also been the one to spill the beans about Tori, so she felt a kind of responsibility for the situation.
“I’ll go sit with Tori,” she offered, hoping that it would ease Will’s mind. She’d sit with Tori and he could stay away. But Will didn’t say anything, just scowled and turned around and stalked to the arbor.
Hayley gave Sam a pained look. He squeezed her shoulder, the briefest of touches, though it was soothing for that brief second. “I think you should sit with her. She’d probably appreciate that.”
Hayley managed to smile. Even though it was silly and beyond selfish, she was bummed he hadn’t said anything about how she looked. Which was not fair. He was preoccupied. How she looked was beyond the point of today.
Besides, he liked her when she was wearing her ratty workout clothes. At least, she thought he did. Probably. He’d kissed her when she’d been in hiking clothes and all.
Oh, she really had to get over herself.
She walked toward Tori, plastering a smile on her face. Though she had talked to this woman, she still hadn’t gotten a sense of the type of person she was. Tori was definitely . . . prickly. She wasn’t easy to talk to, by any means, but if this was how Hayley was going to give Brandon and Will something for the wedding, as their familial guest, well, then that’s what she was going to do.
“Hi, Tori.”
“Hayley.” The woman smiled thinly if at all. “Sam send you over here to keep the fireworks at bay?”
Hayley blinked. “No, I offered to sit with you. I wasn’t sure if you knew anyone who isn’t in the wedding party. I don’t, really.”
Tori tried to smile and failed. “Thanks. You seem really nice, and I’m sorry that, well, I’m not. At all. This is . . . a lot, actually. Though please tell no one I said so.”
“Yeah, I understand that. I mean, not because I have any idea what’s going on. But, you know, things being a lot, I definitely get that.”
Brandon walked by with the minister, but he paused briefly to give them each a squeeze on the shoulder. “Wedding is about to start.”
Hayley smiled, and Tori grimaced, but they took seats next to each other as Brandon, Will, and Sam arranged themselves at the front with the minister.
“They sure are a good-looking group of assholes,” Tori said grimly.
“Well, I’m related to them, so I guess I’ll have to agree objectively.”
“Only two of them,” Tori said with the closest thing to a real smile Hayley had seen, and then a wink. It was the first time Hayley had felt particularly friendly toward her.
When the ATV came again, it was carrying Lilly’s sister—Cora. And then the nephew who’d helped move the arbor this morning.
The boy went down the aisle first, acting as ring bearer for the ceremony. He handed the rings to Will, who was standing as Brandon’s best man. Cora followed her son down the aisle, clearly emotional.
There was no music aside from the sounds of wildlife and the rushing of the falls not too far away. Hayley was surprised at how effective it was, this soundtrack of mountain life. It made the wedding all that much more personal. Hayley might not know much about how Lilly and Brandon fell in love, but she knew that it had been in these mountains, and this setting seemed so incredibly fitting.
Even though Hayley knew she shouldn’t, she glanced up at Sam. He was standing in the front next to Will, his hands clasped in front of him. He was ridiculously handsome with the blue of the sky above bringing out the blue in his eyes. Here was a man who was caring despite himself. So strong and so . . . He was so certain of the changes he’d made. For as strongly as he’d resisted them, he stood there looking like he knew exactly what his life was supposed to be. She envied him. And she really, really liked him.
Not that she knew what to do next. Wait, maybe. And hope.
* * *
Lilly hadn’t expected to be nervous. She’d agreed to marry Brandon with her eyes wide-open. She loved him, and she knew they would work so hard together to make their marriage work. Their parents were crappy examples, and they wanted to be so much better.
But nerves assailed her anyway. She was promising to commit to and cherish someone for the rest of her life. How could that not be scary and nerve-racking?
She was sitting in a beautiful dress, with a bouquet of beautiful flowers in her lap, a man named Skeet driving her in an ATV, and how had this become her life? Her wonderful, amazing life.
She pressed a hand to her stomach, because even though she still couldn’t feel anything going on down there, except the gradual swell of a bump, the baby was part of this too. Just another thing she’d never expected, but she wanted.
The ATV came to a stop and Skeet looked at her. “Ready?” he asked gruffly.
She blinked at him, noting that he looked a little teary. Which prompted her very-close-to-the-surface tears to get even closer. “Don’t you dare cry, you old troll.”
His bleary blue eyes twinkled as he grinned at her. “Thank you for asking me to do this,” he said, far too seriously, before he hopped out of the ATV.
He came around to her side to help her down, then offered her his arm.
“Thank you for being you,” she managed to say, though her throat was tight. He was a strange old man, but he’d fussed over her when no one else had. As her father wanted even less to do with her than she wanted to do with him, it was nice to have . . . someone. Someone to walk her down the aisle.
His bushy white eyebrows furrowed together. “I don’t think I’ve ever been thanked for that.”
They walked with linked arms to the beginning of the runner that would lead her to Brandon. Lilly’s tears started to dribble over. She tried to dab at them with her fingertips so she didn’t ruin her makeup, but she was walking up the aisle to the sounds of the rushing of Solace Falls, which had been the soundtrack to so many big, important moments with this man she was going to marry.
Skeet led her up to Brandon and gave her arm a little pat as he let her go. “I know you two will be good for each other,” he said, and he couldn’t have said anything to her that would possibly mean more.
Then she had to step forward to Brandon. He wasn’t crying of course, Brandon was too strong and determined for all that. But there was a sheen to his eyes and he swallowed as though there was a lump in his throat as he took her arm.
Even as the minister began to speak, Lilly couldn’t take her eyes off of Brandon. Those beautiful hazel eyes that she may have fallen in love with before she fell in love with the rest of him. She didn’t look away as she promised to love him forever. Because they were standing in front of their friends, in this beautiful place, with their baby growing in her stomach.
For the first time, with absolute certainty, Lilly knew that she could do it. She could love this man forever.