“Yeah, I don’t think there’s anything they can do about it,” Alice said disappointedly after I called out the order for a tourist couple that had walked into the shop.

I sighed, waiting for Alice to go on her spiel again. “It sucks that we can’t get back at her someway. People like her always get what they want in life, that’s why they end up so bitchy toward people like us. But it’s the principle of the thing you know?”

I swallowed my words. I wanted to give her little jabs about how her investment in the case had nothing to do with Cal. Alice was too worked up and I didn’t have the energy to go down that route. “I really don’t think there’s any way to get her, you know? There’s just no way to prosecute her without any proof.”

I nodded silently, my eyes trained on the entrance of the coffee shop. I wasn’t waiting for customers or trying to escape from Alice’s chatter like I usually did; I was just preoccupied with everything that was going on. Somewhere along the line, everything seemed to go crazy in my life. That wasn’t at all what I was used to. I had no clue how everything sucked me in like this.

The strangest part about it all was that I didn’t think I wanted it to be any different.

I was genuinely upset and frustrated. I liked NotCat. In such a short span of time I developed a soft spot for that dog. He was quiet and had a funny little personality. But even putting aside my affection for him, what Mrs. Christianson did was awful.

“He’s cute,” I said absentmindedly.

Alice rounded on me with a smirk, “Who is? Who’s cute, Cassie?”

I practically glared at her and laughed while shaking my head. She was way too giddy about her ‘gossip time’. She was probably thinking I was finally going to talk about Hunter or something.

I cleared my throat and clarified, “NotCat, Alice. The dog is cute.”

“Oh,” she said, downtrodden.

I laughed again, “You were a little too giddy for a second.”

“Can you blame me?”

I pointedly ignored the question. “He fell asleep in the crook of my knees. You know that night you abandoned me to be with your boyfriend? Well, NotCat-”

“He is not my boyfriend! What the hell,” Alice said a bit too defensively.

“Okay then,” I said without missing a beat, “Anyway. That night, NotCat curled up in the crook of my knees and fell asleep. It was so cute.”

“Was this before or after you fucked Hunter?”

I wanted to play this moment off as coolly as I needed to, “We were on the couch in the living room. I told you, it was after you forgot I existed so you could go have some fun with your-”

“ANYWAY,” Alice interrupted, drawing stares from a couple of the customers. She smiled at them sheepishly and apologized before turning back to me, “That’s a cute story, Cass. Really cute.”

What I failed to mention was that it was on the couch in Hunter’s bedroom. And it was after we had done the deed and had finally gone inside to curl up and get some sleep. It was just before we finally got into bed for the night. I couldn’t tell Alice that, though. She’d never let it go and I really didn’t want to get into all that with her.

“It’s almost as cute,” Alice said suddenly, a couple minutes later, “As you and Hunter.”

“I don’t know what that means,” I said flatly.

I knew exactly what Alice was getting at, but I refused to give in. I was determined to remain tight-lipped about the whole thing and play it cool. I just hoped some facial expression, a crack in my voice, or a blush didn’t give me away. I wasn’t the best liar.

“Right,” Alice mumbled, “You two are cute together, you know that? It’s really like those ‘opposites attract’ situations, but it just works.”

“Alice,” I said, trying to sound uninterested.

“Cass, it’s pretty obvious that you’re not… Look, all I’m saying is you don’t talk about him or to him the way you used to. That kind of change isn’t something that goes unnoticed. What happened? Why’d you finally come around?”

“I guess being forced to keep his company beat me into submission,” I muttered.

“Oh, come on, it’s not even like that. Besides, you two don’t have to become buddies and get all close just because you’re left alone.”

I looked at Alice and, without realizing, my face gave it away. There was a knowing look in her eyes.

There was no use lying to her anymore.

 

Later that night when I got out of the shower my phone rang. I rolled my eyes the moment I saw it was my mother.

“Hi mom.” I said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Hey Cass! How are things going?”

“Things are going good. I-”

“That’s great honey!” She cut in me before I even had a chance to continue. It wasn’t completely unlike her to run my sentences over when there was something she wanted to talk about. “Listen dear, your father and I were talking today.”

My eyebrows shot up as I gave a sarcastic, “uh huh”. I wasn’t looking forward to whatever this was going to be.

“He would have called you instead, but he’s at a meeting at the school.”

“Okay…”

“He was wondering if you’ve accomplished any of your goals in Vail?”

I hated hearing that word. Goals. It gave me anxiety. I considered myself a goal oriented person. I was always hyper focused on punctuality and professionalism, but when it came to real life goals—I froze up.

“Yea, mom. I think I’ve been learning a lot about myself.”

“That’s good honey. I told him not to worry about you, that you needed time to experience life and the world without your parents breathing down your neck.” I rolled my eyes yet again at her. It was ironic that she said that, even though she called me every night. “He’s just concerned that you might be wasting time in Vail.”

“I’m not wasting my time.” I scoffed. It was believable that my dad would say something like that.

“I know you’re not honey. I told him that no one waists their time if they’re actually living, you know?”

“Yea…” I said as if I knew what she was talking about. My mom always said things like that and before I just shrugged my shoulders and forgot about it. But now, For the first time in my life I thought I actually understood what she was saying. Everything I experienced with Hunter felt alive and thrilling. But it terrified me at the same time. It felt unstable. Almost like it was a burning building and at some point, everything would come crashing down.

“Have you made any friends other than Alice? I know one of the reasons you wanted to leave Boone was because your friends here weren’t as serious about life as you.” She chuckled.

“Yea, I’ve made some friends.” I gulped as I thought about all the reasons I came to Vail in the first place. It was to get away from the college kid nonsense of drinking every weekend, sleeping around, and not taking life as seriously as I did. My heart felt like it dropped.

I left North Carolina to escape that kind of stuff and I ended up right back in it. Even in Vail I wasn’t safe from people like that. Hunter, Cal, even Alice were those types of people.

“Your dad was telling me that you could easily get in for the spring semester here in Boone if you wanted? We know you’ve played around with the idea of medical school.”

“I don’t know if that’s right for me.” I said looking down to the ground.

“I know honey. And that’s okay! I know you don’t really know what you want to do in life yet. But don’t worry, you still have time.”

I cringed. I hated when she said out loud that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life. I hated it because it was true. I was already twenty-one years old—three years out of high school. I had only gone to college for a year before dropping out because I didn’t know what career path I wanted to take. I just couldn’t figure myself out. I always made good grades. I always showed up to class on time and completed assignments before anyone else, but I was too scared to get three or four years into a degree that I didn’t want. So, I just quit and moved to Vail in an attempt to ‘find myself’.

But deep down I knew the truth.

I was running away from it all.

What hurt even more was coming all the way to Vail and meeting somebody like Hunter. He looked like a slacker. He looked like the typical college guy who grabbed the nearest pair of jeans off the floor and made his way to the coffee shop. He initially came across as an inexperienced jokester who didn’t have his life together. But that was just the service. Underneath he had accomplished more in several years than must people would in a lifetime.

And there I was—the total opposite.

I was totally put together, always on time, and always acted with the utmost professionalism. If people met me, they’d think I had my shit together. But I was a wreck underneath. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life. I just acted like I did.

I said my goodbyes with my mom, hung up the phone, then stared at the wall for a while as I re-examined my life.

I came all the way to Vail to hide from the fact that I didn’t know what I wanted in life.

I had to go back to North Carolina, pick a life path, and stick to it. The people in Vail weren’t right for me.

Hunter wasn’t right for me.

“He’s not right for you Cass. He’s not the same kind of person you are.” I said out loud to the wall. It made logical sense. But when I said it out loud, it hurt inside.

I pushed my feelings down and tried to ignore them.

I knew what I had to do.