“I’m sorry,” Hunter blurted out immediately.

I looked at him blankly, but at least he had my attention. If he had any shot at this working, I needed to know why he was there. I looked at my ticket and then at the train before turning my gaze back to him.

“I’m sorry,” Hunter repeated, “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for all the nasty things I said. I’m sorry for getting carried away when we argued. I’m sorry for yelling and insulting you and not listening.”

“Hunter,” I said, unsure of what to do.

He took a step forward, “Cassie, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry because I didn’t mean those things. You deserve better. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve someone who will make you laugh and listen to the things you have to say. The last time we saw each other was awful. But it was also one of the best nights of my life. You can’t deny you didn’t feel it too. I’m scared that I’ve ruined everything. I shouldn’t have let things escalate to that point. And now, now you’re leaving. Now you’re going back to North Carolina and you won’t get to see how sorry I am that we didn’t get to know each other better. I want to see where this can go,” Hunter drew in a trembling breath, “and I think you do too.”

I was completely torn. My mind told me to get on the train and never look back. But something deep inside of me made me want to stay. I wanted to ignore that feeling and turn my back on him, but it was too hard.

Hunter stepped forward and pulled me into an embrace, knocking the wind out of me. My mind felt like it was short-circuiting. I didn’t know what to do because I never wanted to lose the feeling I had now. The warmth that enveloped me just from being in his arms was unlike anything else.

“Hunter, that’s- that’s a lot to take in. Especially after last time, I just don’t know. I don’t know.”

“I know,” he told me, holding me tighter.

I sighed and buried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. It made me feel like I could melt right on the platform. I could turn into jelly in his arms. I shut my eyes as a snowflake landed on my cheek. I remembered how thrilled he made me feel and how I had questioned things I never had before. I remembered my frustrations about him and how overwhelming it was to realize I started falling for him. I remembered how his lips perfectly melded with mine.

All of these thoughts and the surge of emotions made it feel like the ground was slipping out from underneath me. And I realized—maybe I didn’t want to get into something that made me feel so uncertain and out of control. It was too risky. It was too much.

“I know we’re two different kinds of people, but every time you’re away I can’t stop thinking about you. From the moment I saw your serious face in the coffee shop, I knew I wanted to know everything about you. I know I’m asking a lot of you right now. You always want to play things safe. But just this once…leap before you look.” Hunter was fighting back the tears as he spoke.

He was right. I always wanted to do things safe and by the book. And Hunter was the opposite of safe. He was wild and unexpected. He didn’t really care about the rules and lived life the way he wanted to. He was everything I was afraid of and everything I thought I hated. But he also made my knees tremble and my breath stop. He made my heart lurch every time I thought about him.

I was completely confused. I looked up at the giant clock at the top of the train station.

10:57

Any minute now, the train would be pulling out. I needed to decide if I was going to be on it.

“All aboard!” An attendant yelled, looking directly at me. The entire platform was nearly empty now with everyone on the train.

The attendant’s yell sent a jolt through me and I sprung back, away from Hunter. He looked at me longingly and I felt my breath catch in my throat. My gaze lingered on his lips and I wondered, just for a moment, what would happen if I decided to kiss him. There was a loud sound that pulled me back to reality.

“Miss?” The attendant said as he stared at me.

Everything about Hunter turned my world upside down. I wanted order. I wanted normalcy in my life again.

I had to make the safe decision.

“I have to go,” I said. I turned around and handed my ticket to the man just before he closed the door.

Without looking back, I got on the train.