What am I doing? Grinding on Ethan like some horny college girl at a bar is not my style. Not even close. So, why can’t I stop myself from rubbing my ass on his cock? I love it that Ethan is hard for me, of all people. For the girl who has been in love with him since we were kids. For his best friend’s little sister. His very off-limits sister.

I glance up at the balcony to check for Will. At least he hasn’t caught us. Yet. If we keep this shit up, it’s only a matter of time before Will figures out that the old feelings we once shared are back and stronger than ever.

Moving my hips back and forth to the music, I lean my head back and look up at Ethan. His thick muscles wrap around me, his hands moving down my sides. He stares at me with his mouth open, his teeth gently grazing his bottom lip. I want to bite it, suck it. Girls next to us are screaming at each other. One of them bumps into my arm. But neither of us can take our eyes off the other.

Under the heat from the lights and the steady pace we are maintaining, I am gasping for air. Or maybe Ethan is the one doing this to me. My skin burns from the fire that Ethan leaves in his wake. He pushes his hands down my body, feeling every curve. And I let him. Even though we should stop. We both know this is wrong.

When the song changes to a more techno beat, I work harder, move faster. Ethan dips down to brush his lips along my neck and tastes me. His tongue lightly grazes my skin, and as he does this, his manly scent burrows in my nostrils. I drink him in, allow myself to sense and feel everything about Ethan.

I reach behind me and drag my fingers down his chest until I find his hard cock. Ever since I saw him naked this morning, I wanted him. As much as I try to deny it, I am only lying to myself. He grows harder for me, filling up my hand, and does something I least expect. Ethan bites my neck, tugging at my flesh with his teeth.

At first, it hurts, but then I realize I like the pain. I want more. And Ethan gives it to me. My nipples are like daggers poking through the thin fabric of my shirt, and when Ethan slides his hand up my stomach to feel the tiny buds, I moan. So fucking loud I feel self-conscious. Until I realize no one can hear me. No one cares that we’re practically fucking on the dance floor. Oddly enough, no one has recognized Ethan. Shocking.

Sweat drips into my eyes and down my face, wetting my mascara. With the makeup and lights blinding me, I can hardly see the faces in front of me. So, I close my eyes and rest my head on Ethan’s chest. He’s so much bigger than me that no one can even see me, not with Ethan’s muscular frame covering me. Not when his hands and tongue claim their control over me.

Ethan has his back to the balcony, providing us with some form of privacy from my brother. By now, Will must be busy with his hookup of the hour. At least we have that going for us. I open my eyes to double check, turning just enough to see past Ethan’s shoulder to search for Will. All good. For now.

After the song switches over to a faster, more upbeat tempo, the crowd changes with it. Everyone is moving so quickly that their bodies and faces become one giant blur, a mess of hair and colors and swirled images. I’m not drunk, not even buzzed. Ethan has me high on him. One taste of what it would be like to be with Ethan is all it takes for me to be drunk on pleasure.

Ethan takes both of my arms and holds them behind my back, restraining me. I look up at him, lost in him and the moment and wishing it would never end. But hours pass by whether want them to or not. I have no concept of time. All I know is that my core has been aching with desire since we got on this dance floor. However long that has been.

Now holding my arms with one hand, Ethan pushes the hair off my neck and cups my chin in his other hand. He plants a trail of kisses along my jaw, before making his way to my mouth. As he pulls down my bottom lip with his thumb, Ethan wets his lips. And then he goes in for the kill as if he’s the predator, and I’m his prey.

His lips crash into mine with so much intensity and passion that I almost lose my balance. But Ethan is there to catch me, pinning me against his chest. He takes my lip and sucks on it, tugging at it with his teeth. I like the pain that shoots down my arms. I love the way he makes me crave this closeness. When Ethan sweeps his tongue into my mouth, I melt into him, as if our bodies are fused together as one.

I waited ten years for this kiss. Ten years for this man to touch me in ways I’d only dreamed. Ethan is no longer a dream. But the idea of us together is nothing more than a façade. Will would never be okay with us. So, we have tonight. One night to make up for the last ten years of longing.

We stay that way until the strobe lights go out and the crowd dies down along with the music. Ethan finally lets go of me, holding me at arm's length. He studies my face and shakes his head.

“I wish I would have done that ten years ago,” he says. “I wish a lot of things.”

“Me, too,” I confess. “Why did we wait this long?”

He frowns as if the Ethan I had all night is gone. “You know why.”

I nod. “Will.”

There’s nothing left to say.

Ethan leads me upstairs by the hand, his touch sending shockwaves throughout my body, followed by sadness. Now that I’ve had Ethan, I want more. Reality sucks ass.

When we reach the top landing, we find Will making out with two blondes in the VIP area. Bottles of alcohol are on the table, the floor littered with cups and shakers. What the fuck happened up here? One girl is grinding on my brother with his legs squeezed between her skinny thighs. And they’re both kissing the other girl.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I lean into Ethan and whisper, “Are they having sex?”

He tilts his head to the side as if he’s not sure. “Umm…I don’t think so. But who knows with your brother.”

“Maybe we should leave. This is kinda gross. I can’t stay here and watch my brother fuck random chicks in public. What the hell is wrong with him?”

I turn on my heel, slipping out of Ethan’s grip, and he comes up from behind me. He grips my hips to keep me in place, leaning down to speak against the shell of my ear. “Stay here. I’ll take care of your brother. Don’t move, okay?”

I sigh. “Okay.”

Sadly, this is not the first time I’ve seen my brother with two or even three girls. He’s a serious manwhore, always has been. His popularity with women only worsened when he became a professional hockey player. Will has been in the newspaper with different girls dozens of times. And every time my mom dies of shame. To some extent, so do I.

But that also makes me a hypocrite, because I practically allowed Ethan to fuck me on the dance floor. I would have let him, too. That’s the sad part. Even though he was rough and aggressive, I could feel his restraint. He didn’t want to take things with us too far. His hesitation was evident, and every so often one of us would look over our shoulders to check for Will, reminding us that what we were doing is forbidden. Wrong. So wrong that it felt right.

After a few minutes, Ethan comes back from talking to Will with a smile on his handsome face. “Ready to go? Will is going home with those girls. He said not to wait up.”

“Oh, okay.”

He flashes the cockiest of grins as if he has a hidden agenda. Then, it hits me. We have my apartment to ourselves for the night. And now, I’m smiling like a fucking fool, our expressions mirroring each other.