When Mia walks through the front door at Boyds, her mouth opens as wide as her eyes that rake over every inch of the high-end department store. The sight of Mia out of her element excites me. Every experience she has had with me puts her further out of her comfort zone, which suits me perfectly. I want to be the man to give her everything she needs.

“Wow!” Mia squeals. “This place is fancy. I probably couldn’t afford a tube of lipstick, let alone clothing.” She turns to the side so that our eyes meet. “I feel stupid having you pamper me. Between you and Will, I don’t know who’s worse. I don’t need things to make me happy.”

“It would make me happy if you had these things.” My tone is firm, but not enough for her to give in to me. No, my girl likes the challenge. She always did.

“Clothes and jewelry are material possessions. Just stuff to collect dust in my bedroom. I don’t like you or my brother wasting money on me when I don’t see the point in any of it. I have everything I need.”

I slide my hands up her arms and guide her toward Alanna, a pretty brunette who is waiting for us with a bright smile in the women’s shoe department.

“Don’t fight me, lamb. The wolf always wins.”

Her body trembles but not out of fear. She likes this side of me. My girl craves it. I can see the lust in her eyes, the way her heartbeat speeds up with each authoritative word that slips from my lips.

“Mia, meet Alanna, my personal shopper. Alanna, this is Mia, my…girl…friend.”

I have no idea what to call Mia, but girlfriend seemed easier than fuck buddy or my best friend’s little sister who I sneak around with behind his back. She’s so much more than both of those things. How do I even classify our relationship?

Mia peeks up at me with wide-eyed curiosity and a smile that illuminates her entire face. She likes the word that I loathe—girlfriend. But it doesn’t sound as bad when used on Mia. I nod to give her some form of comfort.

Maybe over time, the word won’t feel so bitter on my tongue. It’s not like I am letting Mia go. The only problem I have to sort out is Will. But that can wait for another day. Another month. Maybe when we win the Stanley Cup. If that ever happens.

Alanna’s eyes widen in shock. She signed a non-disclosure agreement. And if she wants my money, she won’t make a big deal of the revelation.

“Well, it sure is nice to meet you, Mia.” Alanna holds out her hand for Mia to shake.

“You, too,” Mia says, pulling back her hand.

Alanna glances at Mia’s face for a few seconds, before taking in her body, trying to guess Mia’s measurements. A good personal shopper can figure these things out without much instruction. She knew mine from the time we’d met. Of all the women in my life, Alanna was never anything more than someone who works for me. We never had sex, and I wouldn’t let Will go near her either. Because good help is hard to find.

“I have a room ready for you upstairs,” Alanna says, holding out her hand to show Mia the way. “How about you two get comfortable, and I will bring everything to you.”

Mia smiles. “That would be great. Thank you.”

“Would you like a bottle of water, champagne, coffee, or tea?”

“Coffee would be nice.”

Alanna looks up at me. “I already know what you want.”

I smirk. If it were any other day, that would be true. Today, I want nothing more than to watch Mia undress for me.

Once we reach the large private room reserved for special customers, we take a seat on a long padded bench, Mia with a cup of coffee and me with the usual bottle of water.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Mia says, setting her cup on the table next to her. “I feel so out of place here.”

“Stop worrying about what people think. You have just as much a right to be here as anyone else. A woman as beautiful as you should feel comfortable anywhere she goes.”

“People were looking at me strange like I don’t belong here. That I don’t belong with you.”

I set the bottle in my hand on the table and scoot closer to her. Lifting her chin with my hand, I force her to look into my eyes. “No one has ever fit into my life the way you do, Mia. No one. Not a single fucking woman. Ever. You act as though you are the only lucky one here when I’m the bastard that doesn’t deserve you.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “You’re not a bastard.”

“No?”

“Nope, not at all. I don’t date bastards, and I sure as hell don’t let them fuck me.” She says the last part under her breath so that no one can hear her.

“I’m a bastard for fucking you like I do. But I couldn’t stop myself. Your pussy is too fucking sweet. I can’t control myself with you.”

“No one said you had to. Keep fucking me like that. In fact, never stop.”

The corner of my mouth turns up into a wicked grin. I grab my crotch and adjust my growing erection. “This conversation is making me so hard. Hurry up and try this shit on, or I will have to fuck you in this room, and I don't care who hears us.”

Mia chuckles. I love the sound of her laughter.

Being with her reminds of what we had when we were younger. When she trusted me with her secrets. When she looked at me as if I was her entire world. She still does. That part scares me the most because that means I have the power to hurt her. And I never want her to feel the kind of pain I have endured for the past eleven years. I never want her heart to ache from the loss of someone she loves. I know she loves me. Some part of me, even the sick and tortured parts, has always loved her.

I get up to help Alanna when she walks into the changing room with clothes in her hands and draped over her shoulders. “I got a little bit of everything,” she says in her singsong voice. “I wasn’t sure what kind of mood you were in, Mia, but go ahead and pull out what you like. If there’s anything you need that I forgot to pull, give me a shout.”

I lift a stack of dresses, skirts, and tops from Alanna’s shoulders and place the hangers on the metal hooks. She exits the room with a gentle wave, promising to check on us in five minutes.

“What do you want to try on first?” I turn around to face Mia, holding up a short, sleeveless black dress with an open back. “I think this would look hot on you. My mom always said that every woman needs a little black dress. You should have one, too.”

Mia pushes herself up from the bench and closes the distance between us. “Are you trying to turn me into the woman you want me to be?”

“Of course not. You are the woman I want you to be. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”

She throws her hands on her hips. “Except for my clothes.”

“This has nothing to do with the clothes or how you dress. You could wear a pair of beat up Chuck’s with ripped jeans and a Warped Tour shirt for all I care. You would look good in anything.”

“Then what difference does it make if I have a little black dress or a new shirt?”

“It doesn’t. I want to take care of you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give you everything. I was also hoping to take you somewhere nice for dinner, and it’s a black dress kind of place.”

She snatches the dress from my hand with a cheesy grin. “Fine. I will wear the dress as long as you pick a good restaurant. Something Italian.”

“That I can do. I thought we could go to Luciano’s. What do you say?”

“Am I your girlfriend?”

I suck in a deep breath and look away from her. “I’m not sure what to call us. We only had sex last night.”

“That’s not what you told Alanna. You said girlfriend.”

“I have to talk to Will, remember? We already talked about this.”

“Maybe I should tell him. I could soften the blow. If I tell him that I want to be with you, he will understand.”

I shake my head and move in front of her. “No, he will not. Will has asked me if I liked you on more than on occasion, and I denied it every time. He was pissed when I accidentally touched your knee or told you that you were hot.”

She smiles. “You think I’m hot?”

I smile back. “That’s another thing I like about you. You are gorgeous, smart, and incredibly sexy and don’t even know it.”

“So, what do we do with my brother?”

“I have no idea. Ever since the night we kissed, I have been asking myself the same thing. I wish I knew the answer. Let’s stick to our plan and see where this takes us, okay? We don’t need to get ahead of ourselves.”

“Either way, we are lying to him. I hate all the secrets.”

“Will is like a brother to me. I met him not long after…” I stop myself from saying more, out of fear Mia will want to rehash my past.

“Not long after you lost your brother,” she finishes for me.

I narrow my eyes at her. “How did you know about Erik?”

She frowns, staring at me as if I just asked the dumbest question in the world. “I am a reporter. Duh, silly. Did I ever tell you why I wanted to become a journalist?”

I shake my head. “No, never.”

“Because of you.” She digs her pointy finger into my bicep. “All because you left me without saying goodbye. You broke my heart that day. I thought that if I could learn how to track down information that I could find you. Then, you showed up, right after I was accepted into college. I was a few months into the semester when you came waltzing back into my life as if nothing had ever happened. But you were different, much darker than the boy I talked to on the swings in my backyard. The Ethan I knew was long gone.”

“You know about Erik, then.” Bile rises from my stomach, choking me once it reaches the back of my throat.

She bobs her head. “Yes, but the newspapers were limited in their details. I only know that he died in a car accident. You were dreaming about him this morning.”

It had taken me years to tell Will about my brother. Sometimes, a reporter has the nerve to ask me about Erik, and every time I shut them down. I thread my fingers between hers and guide her to the bench. She drops the dress beside her and turns her body to face me, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Yes, I have nightmares about my brother. I hate the fact that I lived and he died. I feel guilty. We were twins. Losing Erik was like slicing off a part of myself. It left me hollow. I still am. Your brother came into my life at the right time. He reminded me so much of Erik. I started to smile again, after being unable to do that for a very long time. I felt alive around Will.”

She holds her free hand up to her mouth, and her eyes well up with tears. The pain on her face slices into my chest.

I swipe a tear from her cheek and decide to keep going. After telling her this much about my past, she should hear the rest of the story, even though I would rather not tell it.

“The doctors told my parents that Erik had a blood clot that traveled to his brain, causing a stroke. It was a ticking time bomb living inside his body, one no one ever knew he had. I was driving the car. I tried to help him when he began seizing and ended up hitting the guardrail. It all happened so fast. I woke up in the hospital. The last time I saw my brother was when the car flipped. Almost everything after that is a blur.”

She tightens her grip on my hand. “You were you hurt too?”

“Yes. I had some short-term memory loss for a few months and a broken leg. I hit my head hard on the steering wheel. When the airbag broke, I cracked my thick skull on the window, and well, that’s how I got this souvenir.” I point to the scar above my left eyebrow. “This is not from a hockey game, even though I tell everyone that’s how I got it. At the time, it sounded cooler to say it was a battle scar.”

“I understand you so much more now. Your brother is the reason Will is so important to you, why you need his approval.” Mia swallows hard and wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. “I don’t want to be the one to take him away from you. I can’t…Not after you have lost so much.”

I silence her with my lips, the simple act causing her to still. “We will figure this out,” I promise.

“E, I don’t want to end your friendship with Will over us dating or whatever we are doing. He would be pissed if he found out we were having sex behind his back and that this is nothing more than an experiment to see if you are capable of something long-term.”

Before I can respond, my cell phone rings, the obnoxious sound interrupting our conversation. I fish it out from my pocket and glance at the Caller ID. Will. Of course, it’s Will. It’s as if fate is sending me a reminder that I am a horrible best friend and roommate.

“Hey,” I say, holding the phone up to my ear. “Yeah, I’m here with Mia right now.”

He asks about our shopping adventure and tells me to put it on his credit card. Alanna has the information on file. I’d prefer to buy Mia the dress for our dinner, but Will insists on doing something nice for her.

“The association called me,” he says. “Did you hear from them?”

“Nope, not yet. What did they say?”

“We can move back in next Thursday. The contractors are moving faster than they had expected. Only one more week of sleeping on Mia’s sofa. You coming back to her place or what?”

I glance over at Mia and wink. “Yeah, sure. I guess I can rough it out with you for a few more days. Unless you want to come stay at the Ritz with me.”

“Nah, Mia can use the company. When are you guys coming back? I thought we could grab dinner down the street at the Mexican place that just opened up.”

“Umm…okay. We should be back in the next two hours.”

We say our goodbyes, my heart sinking into my stomach when I see the look on Mia’s face. She looks deflated.

“We’re not going to dinner now, are we?”

“No, but I will make it up to you this week.”

“When Will is not around,” she adds.

I sigh. “I didn’t want to tell him no.”

“I’m not mad, E. I get it. Keep it casual. Friends with benefits don’t go to fancy dinners with each other. So, I guess I won’t be needing a dress.” She releases her grip on my hand and pushes herself up.

I slide my hands up her legs, stopping at her hips. “We will find a way, okay? Tonight is a small bump in the road. Get the dress because you will need it and your brother will get suspicious if you don’t come home with a bag from Boyds.”

“Right. Good point.” She bites her lip, the subtle gesture causing my cock to harden.

I pull her onto my lap, planting soft kisses along her collarbone and shoulder, before making my way to her lips. She tastes like coffee and smells of her flowery perfume. Drinking in her delicious scent, I burrow my face into her neck. A chill runs through her body that causes her to tremble in my arms. I love having this effect on her. If only I could have her all to myself every day. Every night.

“You two doing okay in there?” Alanna asks from the other side of the door.

Define okay.

“Yes,” I say. “We need more time. I’ll come find you if Mia needs anything.”

“Oh, okay. Perfect. I’ll be in the women’s department if you need me.”

The second Alanna disappears my mouth is on Mia’s, and my tongue is parting her lips. We need this time alone before we have to go back to Mia’s apartment. Before we have to face Will. If only I had the balls to come clean to him.