Julia

I’m an idiot. A giant, complete, 100 percent idiot.

What kind of girl interrupts a guy kissing her to go take a shower by herself?

One whose dreams seem to be coming true and is deathly afraid she’s going to do something to ruin it.

In the bathroom now, I swear softly and hit my head against the door.

I still can’t believe Bastian wants to keep seeing me. But sometimes big things like this freak me out, and I have to get some breathing room. Stepping away from the door, I go to the bathroom mirror.

I’m not sure what he sees in me, frankly. Like I told him, I’m not drop-dead gorgeous. I’m not going to win any beauty pageants. I’m not skinny, I don’t have cheekbones that could cut glass, my eyes are a boring shade of brown. My hair is nice-ish, I guess. Studying my reflection, I notice a zit forming on my chin. I sigh. Just my luck.

I begin to undress, but as I stand up, I see red marks on my shoulder and neck. Then I blush scarlet. Bastian gave me hickeys! I twist and turn, and there are even some marks on my back. I’ve never in my life had a guy give me this many hickeys during sex. I’m both embarrassed and rather pleased with myself.

I turn on the water, testing the temperature. I’m about to get in when I hear a knock at the door, and then his voice. “Julia? Are you all right?”

I whirl, get my foot caught in the bathmat, and barely keep myself from falling on my face with a curse. I snag a towel and wrap it around myself. But before I open the door, I gaze at myself in the mirror.

I take a deep breath. Then another. “You got this, Julia,” I tell myself. “You got this. Don’t back down now.”

I open the door, peering out at Bastian. His face is creased with concern, and I feel guilty for making him worry.

“Are you all right?” he asks me again.

I almost tell him that I’m fine and I’ll be done soon. But then I think about my reflection telling me not to back down. You got this. You got this!

I pull the door wider.

And then I say in the sexiest voice I can muster, “Will you join me?”

He stares at me. So I do the next best thing: I unknot the towel from around my breasts and let it fall to the floor, now completely nude in front of Bastian.

It’s one thing to be naked in the dark with a guy. But it’s something else to get naked in the bright light of day. I stand there and force myself not to scurry away like a scared rabbit. And then when I see his expression?

Well, let’s just say I’m definitely not regretting anything now.

In a quick movement, he closes the door and then pulls me toward him. He kisses me, fast and furious, and I moan against his lips. His hands rove all over my body, cupping my ass, pressing me against his hardened cock. He’s in his jeans and shirt from last night, but he quickly strips them off to get as naked as I am.

He pushes me backward into the shower. He kisses me underneath the warm spray, now cupping my breasts and thumbing my nipples, still tender from last night.

“You drive me crazy,” he mutters, licking my collarbone.

“The thought’s mutual.”

He laughs. Then he groans as I run my fingers through his hair and down his shoulders, feeling the muscles underneath his warm skin.

He plays with me, touching me all over. His fingers skim across my belly, down my arms, and along my breasts, flicking my nipples. He kisses down the length of my torso. Swirling a tongue in my belly button, he kneels in front of me, licking my damp skin.

Parting my legs, Bastian places my right leg on the ledge next to me. I tip my head back. I can feel his warm breath against my sex. When he discovers how wet I am, he groans. The vibration shoots up my body, and I have to bite my cheek to keep from crying out.

When his tongue touches my folds, though, I don’t care about keeping quiet. He’s thorough—that’s for sure. He licks through the folds, swirling around. He tastes my juices and laps at me like he can’t get enough.

I’ve had a grand total of two guys go down on me before, and let me say, both times were not ones worth remembering.

This, though? This is indescribable.

Bastian takes his time, making me go insane from wanting him. He doesn’t just expect me to shoot off from a lick and a peck. No, he builds up the pleasure bit by bit, paying attention to each of my responses. I watch as he looks up at me, his eyes dark, and then his fingers part me further. He gazes at me and says in a hoarse voice, “You’re just as pretty down here.”

I want to laugh. But then I can only groan as he thrusts his tongue inside of me. It’s exquisite. It’s too much. He fucks me with his tongue, and then his fingers. One finger brushes against my G-spot, and then he’s massaging that spot relentlessly.

My orgasm builds and builds. It’s a light at the end of the tunnel, one I’m desperate to capture. My body tenses and Bastian has to hold me up because I can’t even control my body anymore. That’s when he adds another finger and starts fucking me faster, his mouth latching on to my quivering clit.

Everything coalesces, and then I’m gone. I shoot off and up and I’m biting my fist to keep from screaming into the bathroom. My legs are like jelly, and I can’t stop trembling.

As I start to come down, I have to hang on to Bastian’s shoulders. He’s risen, and he kisses me. I can taste myself on his tongue. It’s erotic and dirty and like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

I’m about to take him in my hand and push him inside of me, when I realize: no condoms. And the last thing I want to do is get out of this warm shower. So instead, I go down on my knees in front of him, his cock bobbing near my mouth.

“You don’t…”

I shake my head. “I want to. Besides, do you want to get out for a condom?”

He laughs a little. “Be my guest,” he growls.

His cock is gorgeous—there’s no other way to describe it. Thick and long and hard, and I can see a bead of pre-cum at the tip. I lick it, and he shudders.

I take him in my hand, my fingers barely able to close around him, and begin lightly fisting him. I know the pressure isn’t enough, but I want to tease him as much as he teased me. I swirl my tongue around the tip. He tangles his fingers into my hair.

Most guys would take control and start fucking my mouth, but not Bastian. He lets me play. He doesn’t make me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Instead, he just curses and groans and says my name as I take him into my mouth, hollowing out my cheeks as I suck him. He tastes like salt and man and I love it. I fist him harder.

I can sense the tension in his body. He’s close. I take him farther into my mouth, until he’s almost touching the back of my throat. He gently thrusts in rhythm with my sucking, but he still gives me full control.

I wrap my arm around him for leverage. Then I use my other hand to lightly caress his balls, which I can feel have drawn up tightly against him.

“Jesus Christ,” he grinds out. “Julia, I’m about to come. Do you—?”

I suck him harder.

I can feel him coming. His body shudders and he curses, and he comes and comes, filling my mouth. It’s honestly one of the most erotic moments of my entire life. I’ve never really enjoyed blow jobs, but this has made me a convert.

To see a man like Bastian lose himself completely? It’s the best thing ever.

I lick him one last time before swallowing. He’s breathing hard, and he wipes water droplets from his face. “Damn, I think I blacked out from that,” he says.

I grin. “That good, huh?”

“So damn good I can’t wait to do it again.”

The water’s getting cold, so Bastian shuts it off and begins to towel me off. It’s a surprisingly tender gesture, and my heart contracts. Geez, if I’m not careful, I could fall in love with this man.

He dries off as well. Then he picks me up, swinging me effortlessly into his arms. I can’t remember a man ever carrying me before, and though I’m tempted to make a joke that he’d better be careful of his back, I immediately stop myself. Fuck that, I think. I’m a goddess. At least, that’s how Bastian makes me feel and I’m hanging on to the feeling with everything I have.

Even as he lays me on the bed, he won’t stop kissing me, touching me, and I’m the same. I don’t want him to leave. I want to stay in bed with him all day and learn everything about his body. I want to know what other position can make him lose his head, how many orgasms he can give me in one session, and maybe talk to him about his life. His hopes, dreams, future.

I almost laugh at myself. I guess having a guy go down on you and give you an orgasm like that makes you get kind of sentimental.

But as I start to come back to earth, that initial anxiety starts flooding back. Dammit, can’t I just enjoy things without getting all antsy?

Turning over onto my back, I sigh out loud.

Bastian turns over, arm propped up beside me. “Why the sigh?”

I stare at the ceiling. Should I be honest? I glance at him, then back to the ceiling. “You mentioned you want to do this again. I’m just wondering what that means.”

“It means I enjoy your company and want to spend more time with you. In bed and out.”

“So you want to date?”

“Yes.”

“Casually?”

Unease flickers over his face, and I assume it’s because he definitely wants to keep things casual, but he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings or insult me by saying so. I sit up, clutching the sheet to my chest. “Because that’s what I want, too,” I blurt out. “I mean, it’s not like I think this is going to go anywhere serious, right?”

“Julia…”

“I just want us to be honest with one another. And exclusive for as long as we’re sleeping together. If you want to stop seeing me an hour after you leave here, that’s fine. Totally fine, Bastian. Just tell me. Can you give me that? Casual but exclusive for as long as it lasts?”

“I can give you that, Julia,” he says.

“Good,” I murmur, then lie down next to him, sighing when he readily pulls me in his arms and kisses me.

A few hours later, Bastian tells me he has plans with his father and brother, but will see me soon. When he’s gone, I fall back into my bed but then my phone sounds, and I make a grab for it, thinking it’s Bastian. But it’s just Kevin, who’s asking what happened last night. I vaguely remember telling him I’d text him when I got home, but obviously that didn’t happen…

I don’t want to tell him everything, but I end up replying, Bastian stayed over last night. I add an angel emoji at the end and hit send.

The response is immediate. Tell me everything! You slept with Big Sexy? Oh my God, Julia, I can’t believe this!

I laugh out loud. I don’t tell him the exact details—that’s between me and Bastian—but I hint that it was good. Very good. And that he wanted to keep seeing me.

I knew that red dress was perfect for you! Kevin replies.

I get dressed and go rifle through my refrigerator, thinking that I should probably make a trip to the grocery store. Samson comes up to me, curling about my legs. “Where did you hang out all night?” I ask the cat. I vaguely remember him coming into the room at some point, but probably with all of the activity, he slept somewhere quieter.

“What did you think of Bastian? Good, bad?”

Samson purrs.

I take that as a very good sign.