Bastian

A few days later, I’m sitting at my desk trying to get through my endless list of emails when Lucian knocks on my open door before shutting it behind him. Seeing his grim expression, I sigh.

“What’s happened now?” I ask.

“Ryland Masters is what happened—again.” Lucian sits down and runs a hand through his hair, disheveling it. He looks about as run-down as me. “He found out about you and Julia. I don’t know how, but he’s pissed. Really, really pissed.”

I wince. Of course he found out, what with my behavior at Gary’s. I’m sure Ryland had an inkling, but he also didn’t know we were really together until I basically threw her over my shoulder and carried her into the back.

“That’s my fault, I’m afraid,” I confess. At Lucian’s look, I say, “I ran into Ryland and Julia at Gary’s and kind of lost it. I thought they were on a date.”

Lucian stares at me, and then he grins. “God, Bastian, are you serious? That’s fabulous!”

“Is it?”

“Yes! I know how you are. Know you’ve avoided getting into another relationship because of your lupus. This just tells me how strong your feelings are for Julia.”

I scratch the back of my neck. “Strong is one way to put it. She actually came by last week. Took care of me for a while.”

“Good. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Last thing I want to do.” And I mean it. For the past week Julia and I have spent as much of our off time together as possible, and I swear it’s been the happiest time of my life. “So what do you propose we do now? Because I don’t think sending Ryland a fruit basket is gonna help.”

Part of me almost hopes Ryland will dump us completely. He’s been more trouble than he’s worth, but he’s also one of our biggest clients. I sit back in my chair, trying to think of a plan through my haze of exhaustion. I know I can’t push myself too hard or I’ll relapse again, but at the same time, I can’t slack off on this.

“We have to show him we’re on his side,” I think out loud. “We need to go forward and let him invest his money as he wants. I looked more into his friend’s business, and although it’s not a guarantee, it could be successful in the right hands.”

“So we’re just going to appease him and hope he doesn’t have another temper tantrum?”

I shrug. “Basically. Unless you have a better idea?”

“What do we have to lose?” Lucian lets out a breath. He gets up and is about to open my office door when he says, “I think you made the right decision, for what it’s worth. To be with Julia, that is. I think she’s good for you.”

I don’t reply, but I don’t need to. Because Lucian’s right: she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Julia

After spending a lazy morning in bed (recovering from a particularly active evening in bed with Bastian), I decide I’m going to surprise him by bringing him lunch before my shift at the grocery store. Already I feel excited tingles at the prospect of seeing him, which tells me, given all the time we’ve already been spending together, just how ga-ga I am for the man. I think I can spend the next fifty years with him and it would never get old. I’ve even managed to stop that incessant voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough for him. For whatever reason, Bastian doesn’t agree, and I’ve decided I’m simply going to thank my lucky stars and enjoy being with the man of my dreams for as long as it lasts.

After puttering around my place, I make a yummy turkey sandwich with crispy ciabatta bread, tomatoes, lettuce, and fresh mustard (which I know he likes), and I put together a light salad to go along with it. I don’t cook a whole lot since I work so much and often have weird hours, but it’s nice to prepare a meal for someone else. Placing everything into a lunch sack, I get in my car and drive over to Bastian’s work. I smile at the thought of surprising him.

When I get there, Noah tells me Bastian is in a meeting but will be with me shortly. He’s staring at me like I’m some kind of alien, and I remember how I’d told Bastian to go to hell when last I’d been there. I blush. I almost want to tell him that we’ve made up—and then some—but then again, that could make things even more awkward. So I keep quiet and wait.

I feel a little silly after some time passes, sitting there with a sandwich for Bastian. Maybe he’s already eaten? Maybe he’s out to lunch? I’m about to give Holly the lunch and leave when none other than Ryland Masters walks through the glass doors.

I freeze. I haven’t heard from him since Gary’s, and I wish I could hide underneath my chair so I don’t have to talk to him, but the second he spots me, I’ve become his prey. I grip the lunch bag tighter, the paper crinkling underneath my fingers.

“Mr. Masters,” Noah says, “Mr. Rich is in a meeting right now, but I’ll let Holly know you’re here.”

Obviously he’s here without an appointment. Ryland, though, just waves his hand at Noah. He may not be able to talk to Bastian, but he’s seen me. And I can’t exactly get up and run away screaming.

“Actually, don’t call Holly yet, thanks,” Ryland says to Noah, then he sits next to me like we’re best friends. I’m still pissed at him for being so childish during our not-date, and I refuse to talk to him. He touches my arm, though, and I’m forced to meet his gaze.

He tilts his head toward an open, empty office. “Can we talk?” His voice is soft, hopeful, and some of my anger melts away. He probably didn’t intend to deceive me. And I didn’t help by not recognizing that he’s interested in me. I don’t want to be alone with him, but at the same time, we should probably get this over with before it gets worse. With a tight nod, I rise and follow him into the office. He closes the door behind me.

“How are you?” He stuffs his hands into his pockets, looking uncertain.

I’m not even sure how to answer this question. For one thing, it’s none of his business, not to mention he has no right to press about my personal life. We’re not dating. Yeah, sure, maybe I could’ve handled things better, but he also made a lot of assumptions and then got upset when those assumptions were wrong.

I’m still clutching the lunch I brought for Bastian. I set it on the desk, not wanting to smash the sandwich accidentally.

“I’m fine,” I reply with a shrug. My polite side pokes me for not asking how he’s doing, but I’m feeling petty right now and don’t want to be polite.

“I haven’t seen you around much. Are you still working at Cooper’s?” He takes his hands out of his pockets, crossing his arms.

I’m not really sure where he thought he would be seeing me, as our circles don’t intersect much. I also don’t remember telling him I work at Cooper’s. Maybe I did, but it feels overly intimate anyway.

“Yeah, I’m still working there. Speaking of which, I need to get there soon and should probably get going—”

As I’m about to leave the office, Ryland touches my arm, stopping me. I resist the temptation to rub the spot that he dared to touch. When I look up at him, he’s looking at me with such naked longing that my heart sinks to my toes.

“Look, Julia,” he says, “I know you’re mad at me. I’m sorry for what I did at Gary’s. I wasn’t clear about my intentions, and it made things awkward, didn’t it?”

I just nod tightly.

“But I have to tell you—I have feelings for you. Real feelings. I have ever since we met in this office weeks ago.”

I’m stunned. Well, okay, not stunned. I’d known Ryland was interested in me, but I guess I thought he just wanted a quick fuck and then he’d move on. He’d always been so flirty that I’d never thought he’d gotten his heart involved.

I stare at him, uncertain how to respond. I know I can’t just stomp all over his feelings, while another part of me wants to reject what he said and forget it ever happened. And he’s saying this when he knows I’m with another man? How am I supposed to take this confession?

I look away finally, because his gaze is too intense. I stare at the floor and at my chipped red pedicure, rather wishing I’d taken the time to repaint my toenails last weekend. “I’m not sure what to tell you,” I say in a soft voice, “but I’m with someone else right now. So I can’t give you any news that’s going to make you happy.”

When he doesn’t say anything, I look up. I wince a little at his expression.

He’s still silent for a while, and I take that as the moment to leave. But once again, he stops me. He catches my wrist, stroking the tendons, and I shiver despite myself. It’s not a shiver of desire, but one of anxiety. He isn’t going to give up without a fight, and I automatically brace myself for the oncoming storm.

“I know you’re with Bastian right now.” Ryland says Bastian’s name with such rancor that I’m momentarily startled. “But that doesn’t mean you’ll be with him forever. I know about his history. I know he’s a playboy and he never sticks around for long. I hate to say it, but do you really think he’d change his stripes for you?” He grips my wrist a little tighter. “People don’t change that easily, if at all.”

It’s like he’s slapped me in the face. I know about Bastian’s past, and I won’t lie and say that I haven’t been afraid that he’ll realize I’m not that great and leave me in the dust. But hearing the words come out of Ryland’s mouth sends a wave of anger through me. I wrench my arm away from him, backing up.

“Is that supposed to make me come running into your arms?” I ask. “Because if so, it’s the worst pickup line in the history of the universe, in case you were wondering. You’re a freaking rock star, Ryland.”

“That’s right, but I’ve never been a playboy. And I’m not the one who has dick pics posted online. I see on your face that you know I’m right. He’s not the man for you, Julia. But I can be. Won’t you give us a chance?”

“You’re amazing. I never knew anyone could be this arrogant, but you’ve blown away all of my expectations on that front.” I’m shaking my head, as though I can shake off the words that Ryland had the nerve to say to me.

He steps closer to me, his eyes narrowed. “I also know that he’s not such a great catch as you may think. Did you know he’s constantly sick? I haven’t seen or heard from him in weeks, and I come to find out that he’s often at home, sick as a dog. How can you want to be with a man who can barely get out of bed in the morning? He’s half the man I am, and you know it.”

Since Ryland moved closer to me, I step back. I step away farther and farther. I’m feeling a mixture of disgust and incredulity, so completely at a loss as to how to respond. But I know I can’t stay in this office one more second. Dodging Ryland, I grab Bastian’s lunch, holding it up like a shield, and dart to the door.

“You’re wrong, Ryland,” I say in a low voice. “Bastian is more than enough. You’re not even half the man he is—you’re not even one-millionth of the man he is, and you can never, ever compare to him. So you can shove your self-righteous attitude up your ass and go to hell.”

Ryland narrows his eyes at me, and then to my surprise, grabs me and kisses me. I’m so shocked that I freeze, and I feel his mouth moving against mine. After a second, though, I wrench away and slap him on the face with all of my might. I’m breathing hard, and he’s breathing hard, and now his cheek has a hand-shaped mark marring its lightly tanned surface.

After that, I leave before he can open his mouth and say something even more offensive. I’m not going to listen to his excuses; I don’t want to hear how much he supposedly loves me.

All I want—the only man I want—is Bastian.