2
Ellie
She pulled up, finding a parking space four houses down from her family home in Heaton. Rows and rows of brick terraces crowded around her. It wasn’t a bad place to live; the neighbours were friendly, there were coffee shops and takeaways around the corner, a park near by and a ten-minute metro ride and you were in the lively city centre of Newcastle-upon-Tyne. But today she’d had a taste of something different; a castle brimming with history in the middle of the most stunning countryside, big Northumbrian skies, open space, a taste of freedom. And she wanted to taste just a little more of it, to live it, breathe it, cook in it.
Today had given Ellie a sense of her future. Made her want the job all the more. Yet she wasn’t at all sure how the interview with Lord Henry and Joe had gone. Her inner interview-ometer was registering pretty low.
She got out of the car, walked down to number five, and wandered in for what might have been the thousandth time. Smells of polish and vegetables filled the air. She found her mum, Sarah, in the kitchen, peeling carrots. Onions, parsnips and a hunk of marble-fatted beef sat on a chopping board ready for cubing.
‘Hello, pet … So, how did it go?’ She turned to her daughter with a cautious smile.
‘Umn, I don’t know, to be honest … It was an amazing place … proper castle … big grounds. The people seemed nice.’ Well, Lord Henry seemed quietly intimidating, but he was the sort of person it might take a while to get to know. Deana, she was just lovely. And Joe, hmn, gorgeous Joe, something about him made her feel uneasy, yet he seemed okay, a bit aloof, maybe, but then it had been a formal interview. His questions had definitely been more searching than Lord Henry’s. She’d need to be far more prepared, do some full costings, a business plan and book her health and hygiene course, if there was to be a second interview or anything. If … a small word, massive implications. She plastered on a hopeful smile as her mother looked across at her.
‘Well,’ her mother’s tone dipped into school-marmish, ‘It is a bit out of the way up there. I’m still not sure why you’re looking that far out? Just think of all the fuel. How long did it take you to get there?’
‘About an hour.’ Due north up the A1, then a maze of winding lanes. She wasn’t thinking about travelling every day, she wanted to live there – the ad said there might be accommodation with the lease. But she hadn’t mentioned that yet. No point getting her mum all wound up if it wasn’t going to happen.
‘Are you sure about all this, Ellie? It does seem a bit of a whim. I still can’t grasp why you’re thinking about giving up a good office job with a reasonable salary. What if it all goes wrong? You won’t be able to waltz back into the insurance job again, you know – what with the recession and everything.’ Sarah looked up from chopping carrots, her blue-grey eyes shadowed with concern.
‘Well, thanks for the vote of confidence.’
‘Oh, pet. It’s not that I don’t want you to do well. I just don’t want you to fall down with this. Get caught up in some dream and then realize it’s not all it’s supposed to be. I’d hate for you to end up with no job at all.’ She wiped her hands on her floral apron and gave Ellie an affectionate pat on the shoulder. It was as near a hug as she was going to get.
Her mother was sensible, cautious; she liked order and stability. Sometimes it drove Ellie nuts. Yes, the concern was no doubt born of love, but lately the family safety net felt like it was strangling her. When were dreams so bad, so dangerous? The two of them got on alright, but often Ellie felt very different from her mother. They viewed the world through different eyes. Ellie felt that there was something more out there in the big wide world, something she hadn’t found yet. And so what if it all went wrong? At least she’d have tried.
‘It’s not as though there are jobs on trees at the moment, Eleanor.’ Jeez, her full name was coming into action now. Mum really was toeing the sensible line.
‘I know that. But, I’d find something else if it came to it, Mum.’ She’d waitress, clean loos or something if she had to, if it all went belly-up a few months down the line.
Sarah just raised her eyes to heaven and took the slab of meat to hand.
Ellie sighed. Nanna Beryl would have understood. But she wasn’t here to back her up any more, bless her. A knot of loss tightened inside. She was such an amazing character, hard-working, fun, loving and wise. Nanna had inspired Ellie into this baking malarkey, many moons ago in her tiny kitchen flat – Ellie cleaning the mixing bowl out with big licks of the wooden spoon once the cake had gone into the oven. She had watched, she had learned, had her fill of sticky-sweet cake mix, and she had loved. She kept Nanna’s battered old Be-Ro recipe book stashed in her bedroom, with Beryl’s hand-written adaptations and extra recipes held within it. Her choffee cake was awesome – a coffee-chocolate dream: one bite and you felt you’d gone to heaven.
But bless her, she had died just over a year ago. Ellie still felt that awful pang of missing her. Hopefully she was up in heaven somewhere still cooking cakes and keeping all the angels cheery and plump. Yes, she was sure Nanna Beryl would have supported her in this, told her to go out there and give it a try. She could almost hear her voice, that golden-warm Geordie accent, ‘Go on canny lass, diven’ worry about your mam. She was born sensible, that one. It’s your life, your dream.’
And she needed this change, especially with everything that happened six months ago with that tosser Gavin. Nah, she didn’t want to even think about that. He wasn’t worth spending thinking-time on.
Ellie popped her jacket in the understairs cupboard and came back to the kitchen offering to make the dumplings for the stew. She asked her mum about her day, glad to divert the attention and questions from herself. Sarah had a part-time job at the Co-op around the corner, as well as doing a couple of mornings’ cleaning at the doctor’s surgery. They chatted comfortably. Mixing the dumpling ingredients took Ellie’s mind off things. She added dried herbs to the flour, then the suet and water, rolling the dough between her hands, circling broken-off lumps in her palms into neat balls ready to float on the stew.
Ten minutes later, the front door banged open and Keith, Ellie’s father, appeared with a loud ‘Hullo’ and a broad grin, returning home after a day plumbing and handy-manning. He popped his head into the kitchen. ‘Good day, girls! How did it go, then, our Ellie? Head chef already?’
‘Not quite,’ she smiled. ‘There’s a chance of a second interview. But I’ll just have to wait and see.’
‘Well, best of luck, bonny lass. Best of luck. Better go up and get myself changed out of these work things. Stew is it tonight, Mam?
‘Ah-hah.’
‘Great. I’m starving.’
Things had been slower for him these past few years with the recession biting hard in the building trade, but he’d do odd jobs as well as the plumbing, anything really. He had a trade – he was lucky, he often said. Ellie listened to his cheery whistle as he headed upstairs to change out of his navy boiler suit.
Jason, Ellie’s brother, sauntered in soon after, dumping muddy football boots in the hall. He was nine years younger than Ellie, seventeen to her twenty-six, and still at sixth form. In the main he tried to avoid schoolwork as much as he could, filling the gap with sport, occasionally interrupted by a crush on a new girl. This month it was Kylie of the white-blonde hair and dark roots from down the road. She was still giving out confusing signals, apparently, one minute sitting next to him on the bus to town, full of chat, the next giggling with her friends and hardly giving him the time of day.
‘Jason, boots out the back, please. Not the hall. The house’ll be stinking. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you,’ Sarah shouted, catching him before he drifted off upstairs, and the aroma of sweaty teenage footwear permeated the house.
An hour and a half later, they were all assembled around the kitchen table. Jay was famished, as per usual, and shovelled his stew down like there was no tomorrow. Then a normal night in the Hall household followed: telly – sport or soaps, Coronation Street being Mum’s favourite, the boys swapping channels to any footie that might be going, general chit-chat, cup of tea, off to bed.
Ellie opted for an early night. The trip up north, the interview, had drained her. Lying there under her single duvet, within the four pink-painted walls – one cerise, three blossom (she’d chosen the shades aged twelve) – of her small bedroom, she thought about her day at Claverham Castle. Was there any chance they might offer her the lease? If so – wildest dreams – would they also offer her a room there? What might it be like, working there, living there? Her dreams felt like bubbles, floating iridescent in a blue sky of hope. But, then, wasn’t there always the inevitable pop, then plop, when you came splatting back down to earth?
Her thoughts spun on, sleep elusive. She should have been better prepared, done her homework, thought about it all more thoroughly. And, she hadn’t even mentioned half the things in the interview that she’d mentally prepped in bed the night before. Maybe her mother was right; doing things on a whim was never the best option. But something inside told her she was right to try for that interview today. She’d been so excited reading the ad in the job pages of the Journal, then ringing up, actually getting an interview, taking those steps towards her dream. She could make a go of it, given half a chance. The if dangled before her, her dream on a very thin thread, making her feel queasy in the pit of her stomach.
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