Chapter Five
Running through the park, Lucia checked the time and saw it was still a little before six. She’d woken up from a nightmare, and instead of trying to sleep, she’d just decided to head on out and get in a run.
The park, for some bizarre reason, called to her, so that was why at such an early time, she was running across the route she’s seen on the maps online. Clenching her hands into fists, she ignored the pain in her thighs, or the tightening in her stomach. She wanted to just stop, bend over, and pant.
She ignored those pains, but slowed down so she could last just a bit longer.
Her dream always did this to her.
She was in a forest, surrounded by faceless people. They meant nothing to her, but whenever she was in the forest, she was always terrified. She knew that death was coming.
When the first person started to hit her, she screamed, only no sound came out. For as long as she could remember this dream had been a plague to her.
Each time she had the exact same dream, sleep always failed her. Normally, she got up and watched some television or read. This time, she’d thrown her running clothes on and left the house. It wasn’t like her parents would be overly concerned for her leaving.
They wanted her to lose weight.
Clicking to the next song on her phone, she was so busy looking down at her hip that she collided into a rock-hard, heavy body.
One second she was running—or speed-walking could also be used to describe what she was doing—the next, she was on her back, staring up at the sky, then up at Jack. He pulled his earbuds out, and she realized she was bumping into him a lot lately.
Keep your crush in check.
Don’t embarrass yourself.
“Mr. Parker,” she said, pulling her own buds out of her ears. “Morning.”
She smiled up at him, and he frowned. “You didn’t text me to say you were out running today.”
“It was spontaneous, and I didn’t think you’d be awake this early.”
She lifted up a little, and Jack held his hand out to her to take.
Biting her lip, which she seemed to be doing a lot lately around him, she gave a little yelp as he lifted her up.
He was a lot stronger than she thought he would be.
Also, he hadn’t let go of her hand, and it felt really good for him to hold her. She didn’t want him to let her go.
“I’m always up early. No matter what time or day it is, you text me, okay?” he asked.
She forced herself to look up at him, and nod. “Okay.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yes, of course. It’s not every single day you’ll catch me out here running. This is kind of a new phenomenon for me.”
“I read your poem.”
This made her gasp, and she pulled her hand away from his, only to miss the contact the moment she did it. She cursed herself for feeling anything right now.
Her tits felt heavy, and her nipples puckered.
All that teaching about sex was paying off. It’s too bad she couldn’t go tell her parents.
“Hey, Mom, Dad, remember all that extra homework you made me do when I was twelve? You know, the one about all the teenage sex, hormones, arousal, that kind of thing. Yeah, totally paying off. I can now see that I’m highly aroused by my English teacher, and not just that, having sex with him is hitting high on my fucking list.”
If she was cussing in her mind, she needed to get a grip and fast. She was losing the plot already, and she didn’t have time for this.
“Oh,” she said. She had kind of forgotten about the poem. “I didn’t know the specifications. There seemed to be a lot from short to long.”
“You did exactly as I asked. You looked deep inside yourself, and your poem was raw. Thank you, and I happen to agree with you.”
“About what?” she asked.
“People are flawed. Every single one of them. There is no perfection out there, and the prettiest, even they have pain, Lucia.”
“They don’t need to deal with it though.”
“They still have it. Pretty, ugly, no matter who you are, flaws are out there. You just got to learn to take hold of your own and make yourself fly.”
She nodded and glanced down at the ground. “Thank you.”
“You’re not an ugly person, Lucia.”
“You keep saying that. You really shouldn’t.”
“I know. I’m your teacher, and I can get in trouble.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” she said. She shrugged. “I’m not a tattletale.” She licked her suddenly dry lips, and his gaze focused on them.
Her heart started to race, and she liked this. She liked having his attention focused on her.
“Why are you not on any social media pages?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Huh?”
“Social media? You know the thing that allows you guys to stay connected. Like an active beehive only online.”
“I deactivated my account, why?”
“Why did you do that?” he asked.
“There was a thing a year or so ago. I came to school in a skirt, and it got lifted up. The picture ended up online, circulated, laughed at. Made coming to school really fucking miserable actually. You know, fat thighs, rubbing together, lumps and bumps,” she said.
“Is that why you don’t wear skirts or dresses?”
“Unless I’m with my parents I don’t wear any of those things. It’s no big deal.” Again, she shrugged her shoulders. Glancing down at her watch, she saw it was getting late. “I need to head back home,” she said. “It was nice talking to you.”
“You should wear dresses and skirts again,” he said.
This made her pause and turn to look back at him. “Why?”
“To stop them from winning. Every single day you don’t wear what you want, you’re losing your fight and they are winning.”
“It’s not a battle I care to win,” she said.
“It should be. Your style, it’s who you are. Next time, report them to the principal, or better yet, come to me. I’ll deal with it.”
“You’ll be my personal savior.”
“I’ll make sure you have a senior year to enjoy and not look back with regret.”
“You do this for all your students?” she asked.
“No, it seems I do this for you.”
Her heart started to pound.
“And any teacher who touches you or makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter who they are, you report them too. Don’t let them get away with it. Put them in their place.”
“Yes, sir.”
She saw his eyes flare, and instead of questioning him, she made her way back toward her home.
As she walked up the steps to her house, she saw that she was smiling. She didn’t linger, quickly taking a shower from her run, drying out her hair, and changing into a pair of jeans and a shirt.
Heading downstairs, she found her parents drinking coffee.
“Morning,” she said.
She put a couple of slices of bread in the toaster. For the first time, she didn’t listen to what her parents had to say, but thought about Jack Parker, her English teacher. What would he have done if she had looked at him and said he could touch her anytime?
Biting her lip, she grabbed the jam with no added sugar and slathered her bread thickly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mother watching her. This time, she ignored her. She didn’t give a shit what her parents thought right now. Her only care was for Jack, her teacher.
Finishing off her toast, she licked her fingers, washing up the dishes.
“See you later.”
Before either of them could say anything, she was out of the house and gone, her bag slung over her shoulder as she made her way across town toward the high school. She always left home early, but this was even earlier than usual.
The school was already open, and she saw teachers parked.
She even saw Jack Parker’s car already in his spot. Ignoring the tightening in her gut, she kept on walking.
She went straight to the library and sat at one of the tables. Pulling out her books, she began to study.
“You’re everywhere I go today,” Jack said, taking a seat at her table. Half an hour had passed, and the bell would ring in ten minutes.
She looked up from her books as he took a seat. “I got here early. I wasn’t in the mood for parent drama today.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Then do you want to help me get a few books for my class? I could use the extra hands.”
“Sure.” She quickly packed her stuff away, putting the bag on her shoulder and hiking it up high.
The librarian had supplied him with several copies of William Shakespeare’s complete collection of poems.
Holding several copies, she followed Jack down the long hallway to his classroom. They passed several teachers, who nodded at him.
Once inside, she put them on his desk, placing her hand on top.
“Do you want me to put these out?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She moved up and down the aisles putting books on each table, aware of Jack’s eyes on her. This was wrong.
She knew it was wrong and that if anyone ever even suspected their conversations, they both could be in trouble.
Her parents would freak out.
She’d have no choice but to leave school.
Once she was done, she turned to see him still staring at her.
“I better go,” she said.
She wasn’t even eighteen yet, and this desire she felt for him, it scared her. She didn’t want him to get in trouble, but she liked that he didn’t see her as “the fat girl.”
“Have a good day, Lucia,” he said.
She paused at his door, getting the feeling that he wanted to say more.
“You too,” she finally said.
Leaving the door open, she made her way out toward her locker, and began changing the books that she would need for first period.
“Well, well, well, if it’s not little chunky. Already in school? Have you eaten the cafeteria out already?” Connor asked.
She ignored him, even as his friends who were near burst out laughing.
“The only thing you’ll ever get in your mouth is fucking food. No guy would want to risk his dick going in that mouth. It probably wouldn’t come out.”
Every single time he decided to do this, she took his insults. She listened to their crudeness, and just accepted it.
Everyone is flawed.
She was tired of being everyone’s punching bag.
Her mother.
Her father.
Classmates.
She was completely fucking done, and tired of it.
Spinning around, she smiled at him. “You jealous?” she asked.
“What?” Connor asked.
She had clearly surprised him.
“You seem so obsessed with what I stuff in my mouth.” She stared down his body. “Don’t worry, Connor, when you’re a man you’ll grow balls. But I’m allergic to peanuts, so there’s no way you’ll be in my mouth.” Slamming her locker closed, she patted his chest and walked off.
There was no laughter, and she heard Connor sputtering.
She wasn’t allergic to peanuts.
Far from it.
Her mother just stopped buying the good peanut butter and opted for that horrible, nasty stuff that didn’t taste good.
It felt good to stand up for a change. She liked it, and knew she was going to do it more often. The only power people had over her was what she let them have. She was done giving anyone any power.
****
A couple of weeks later in mid-September
In between random visits to the library, and some bumps in the park, Jack made sure he wasn’t alone with Lucia again. She wasn’t a dangerous student, but he didn’t trust himself. He watched her walk around high school. Most of the time she was with Marie.
She still hadn’t worn any skirts or dresses, but again, he’d been determined not to notice that shit.
The principal had announced a parent-teacher night, and he’d gotten the note to say that Lucia’s parents intended to attend but to write a report card, just in case they didn’t show.
He was pissed off for her, but he kept reminding himself that he couldn’t be. This was not his place to be pissed off.
Instead, he wrote out the report card, ready for the night.
The evening was for a Friday, and most of the students had already left. He’d made his classroom presentable.
“It’s that horrible night,” Beth Bertram said, coming to his room. “I hate these nights. There are some parents who don’t give a shit and are here for the free food and beverages. Then there are those that care too much and want to know why you’re not giving their child special privileges.”
“Every child is special in their own way.”
“Oh, I know, just not in a good way either.” Beth smiled at him. “We’ve not had a chance to talk for some time. How have you been?”
“Busy. I spend most nights grading, lesson planning, that whole thing.”
“Yeah, me too. You’ve got to remember to take some time for yourself, Jack.” She patted his chest, and he didn’t like her touch, not one bit.
“I’m going to get myself a drink before this entire thing kicks off. You care to join me?”
“Certainly.”
He didn’t offer his arm, but she took it regardless. They made their way down the long corridor toward the main cafeteria. Entering the large room, he spotted Lucia up on the ladder. Marie, her friend, was holding it, while a couple of the men and boys were off to the side, displaying the table.
What the fuck was wrong with this picture?
He knew, and saw it, and he was pissed. Marie was in no way capable of holding that ladder steady.
“What the fuck is Lucia doing up there?” he asked.
“Oh, she does this every single year. She always helps out where she can.”
“I’m going to go and help.” He made his way toward Marie. “I’ll hold this for her.”
“You sure? I’m afraid of heights so I can’t go up there.”
“I’ve got it.”
Holding the ladder, he watched as Lucia pinned the large banner to the wall.
“Right, I’m coming down.”
She stepped down the ladder, and he held it.
Her ass came to his face, and the scent of strawberries was intense.
“Step away, Marie, I’ve got to step off.”
“It’s not Marie,” he said.
She gasped and turned to see him. “Jack. I mean, Mr. Parker.”
“What you just did was careless and irresponsible.”
“I do this all the time. You’ve seen me do it before.”
“I didn’t know you then. You don’t do this again,” he said.
“I like to help.”
“You can help, just do it where you’re safe.”
Her gaze moved past his shoulder. “Marie was holding the ladder.”
“She wouldn’t have been able to help you if you’d started to fall. Do not put yourself in danger again. You may not think people care, but believe me when I say there are people who do.”
He didn’t want to move away, but her body was like a flame to him, and he forced himself to step back.
The past few weeks, he’d been able to get his shit together, and now there was no fucking chance of that.
“Your parents are coming?” he asked.
“They said they would. I don’t know if they’ll actually show up.”
“They should show up. You’re worth showing up for.”
She smiled. “I appreciate that.”
“Hey, sorry, but Mr. Parker said that he had that ladder,” Marie said, coming to them. She held a soda out to Lucia.
“Thank you,” she said. “It’s fine. The banner is up, and everything is all set.”
“I want to know why those boys were not the ones up the ladder.”
“They never do it,” Marie said. “A bunch of wimps if you ask me.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind doing it. I can handle putting up a banner.”
He wanted to say more but the principal came in, and it was time for him to get back to his classroom as parents made their way inside.
The night went by rather fast; too fast as far as he was concerned.
He was putting away his notebook as Lucia knocked at his door.
“Sorry to bother you, I don’t suppose you have a report card for me to take home, do you?” she asked.
He’d completely forgotten about Lucia’s parents. “A no-show?”
“It’s not exactly a surprise to me.” She chuckled. “This was something the principal arranged so my help doesn’t go unrewarded.”
“They should be here, Lucia. You’re important to them.”
“I know. I know. It’s just … I was the mistake,” she said. “You know, they both have these amazing careers, and I shouldn’t have been born.”
“Do I look like I give a shit about that?” he asked. “You’re here now. They need to learn to care. To fucking be here for you.”
He saw tears in her eyes. “Thank you for the report card.”
She was leaving his classroom, and he was pissed off.
Closing up his room, he saw Beth waiting for him. “So, I was thinking we could go and get a drink.”
“I can’t. I’ve got things to do. Take Coleman. He’d love to go for a drink with you again.” He’d had to sit beside Coleman several times and listen to how much of a catch she was. He was bored and tired of hearing of the same old shit.
He got it.
Beth was a total babe, and kinky as fuck in the sack. Again, he didn’t care.
He had a lot of other things on his mind. Important things.
Leaving the school, he went to his car, and saw Lucia up ahead, walking.
She was always fucking walking.
It pissed him off.
She shouldn’t be walking this late at night.
Just because it was a small town didn’t mean she wasn’t at risk of being hurt or worse.
Climbing into his car, he drove the short distance toward her. “Get in,” he said.
“You really don’t need to do this.”
“Do I look like I’m fucking kidding right now? Get in.” Yes, his anger was starting to get the better of him, and he needed, really needed, to control his shit right now.
She stared at the car then at him. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“I swear, Lucia, do you want people to witness me picking you up and dumping you in my car? Right now, I’d even put you in my trunk. Don’t even get smart with me either.” He saw the attitude coming from her. “You’d fit.”
She glared. “It would be a tight fit.”
“You’d fucking fit so don’t start with me.”
“It’s not fitting for you to use that kind of language.”
“Bite me. Get in the car. I’m not arguing. I will make you.”
She rolled her eyes and moved toward his car. She opened the door and climbed inside. “There, happy?”
“Not completely, but for now it will do. Strap in.”
“You’ve not got far to go.”
“My car. My rules.”
She strapped on her seatbelt, and as he tapped on his steering wheel, he had several choices. The right choice was to take her home, and not listen to this need calling inside him to do something.
He ignored that, and instead, he spun the car around, going in the opposite direction of her house.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m not taking you home just yet.”
“Why not?”
“They should have come to your parent-teacher night. You shouldn’t be returning cards for them to read through.”
“They’re really busy, Jack. They don’t have time.”
“Don’t have time for their own kid? My parents were fucking useless at giving a shit. Their careers were the most important thing to them, and guess what, they still had time for me. They still went to my school and dealt with all my problems. That is bullshit.”
She was silent, and he kept on driving.
He headed out of town.
It was a Friday, so a lot places were packed full. He knew a nice little diner and drive-thru that sold burgers and fries.
“Do you want to eat in or in the car?” he asked.
“Eat in.”
He saw the challenge in her eyes. “More than fine to me.”
Climbing out of the car, he took several steps toward the diner. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
Jack stopped and turned toward her. “We won’t.”
“I can eat in the car.”
“We won’t get into trouble. We’re out of town. I’ve never seen anyone else even come here. We’re both safe here. So long as you don’t mind being seen with an old man, that is.”
She smiled. “Then sure. Why not?”
Taking her hand, he made his way into the diner. He found the booth and slid the menu toward her.
“Pick something.”
She opened it up and scanned the menu.
“You’re sure?”
“I’ve brought you here. The house special is pretty amazing if I do say so myself.”
“Then I’ll have that.”
He ordered for the both of them, and sat back in his seat, watching her. The scent of strawberry was still heavy in the air, and he loved the smell.
“You have two career-obsessed parents?”
“Yes, both of them are lawyers.”
“And you’re not.”
“Much to their annoyance, yes. Law didn’t appeal to me. I don’t like it, never have. They assumed my passion for teaching was just some lame-ass excuse. It wasn’t. I was very fucking serious.”
“You do love teaching?”
“I do. I think education is important, and I’m not giving you some bullshit here either. I’m telling you the truth. We can learn a lot by learning, by understanding, by thinking. Some teachers are naturally gifted and can have every single student eating out of the palm of their hands, and others, they’re useless. They can’t even hold a classroom together.”
“But you love it?”
“Yes, I love it. It’s … magical. Especially when you find a student who is passionate or special. They have a talent for writing and telling stories. I’d love to find that person.” He watched her and smiled. “You’re not special at writing.”
She burst out laughing. “I didn’t think I was. That poem took me hours to write. It was so hard. I didn’t want to just do something stupid.”
He chuckled. “Well, we’ll see if your story-telling is any better soon.”
“I have no talent for writing. I know that.”
“What do you want to be?” he asked. “Have you gotten a focus point? Do you see where your passion is?”
“I don’t know. It has been a weird couple of weeks so far. Everything seemed to have tilted on its axis, and I’ve been stuck in a rut on what to do.”
“And now?”
“And now, I’m still in the same place. It’s just not as tilted, if that makes sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.”
“I had so many hopes and dreams for senior year. I imagined people would let go of pettiness.”
“No one lets it go. It stays with you everywhere you go, Lucia. You’ve got to learn to fight those feelings.”
“I’m getting that, which is why the other day I stood up to Connor. I insinuated he had tiny balls and dick. It was weird, but it felt really good. Who knew insulting someone could actually make me feel better.” She winced. “Nope, it didn’t. It was just nice to see him shocked that I stood up for myself for a change.” She paused. “I don’t ever stand up for myself.”
“You should.”
“What were you like in high school?” she asked.
He chuckled. He couldn’t help it. “You really want to know?”
“I wouldn’t ask.”
“Be careful what you ask for. I was the rebel. The bad boy.”
“You were?”
“Yes. I did what I wanted when I wanted it. I didn’t care who stood in my way. All that mattered to me was getting what I wanted.”
“Wow, really? That doesn’t seem who you are now?”
“It’s not. I’m different now. I know what I love.”
“Teaching?”
“Yes. It is a passion of mine, and I never want to give it up.”
“You’re a pretty good teacher.”
“Well, I have some pretty awesome students who listen.”
She smiled, and those dimples were back again.
The food was brought to their table, and he watched her grab her burger and take a bite. “Oh, wow, you know, I didn’t know I could miss actual food.”
“What do you mean?”
“My mom has got me on a vegan diet right now. So falafel, cauliflower pizza, stuff like that; tofu, tahini. Yuck. I mean seriously. It’s not real food.”
“That does suck.”
“Yeah, add into that I’ve got to join this gym that she keeps going on about.”
“Why don’t you say no?” he asked.
“It’s kind of hard to say no to your mom.”
“You’re going away to college soon. What are you going to do then?”
“I don’t know. I guess you’re right, but it’s just easier to do what she wants.”
He wanted to say so much more, but he couldn’t. His hands were tied on this one. Picking up his own burger, he took a large bite, relishing the taste as the juicy meat rolled over his tongue. It had been a long time since he’d come here, and it was one of his favorite places in the entire world.
“I suppose I could tell her I’m running,” she said.
He glanced over at her, and her cheeks were flushed. “You are running.”
“Not really. I try, but I get a stitch in my side.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
She picked up a fry, taking a bite. “I like this.”
“The food?”
“No, your company. Besides Marie, I think you’re the first person to treat me like an actual person, and I do like that.”
“You are a person, Lucia.” Just one with a few extra curves.
He shouldn’t have taken her to his diner. This was the place where he liked to come to in order to think.
Taking a student to dinner wasn’t what he was supposed to fucking do.
Even as he was all over the place inside his head, he smiled so Lucia didn’t realize that anything was up.
“I appreciate this,” she said.
“What?”
“This, taking me out. I mean, not taking me out, out, but just, you know, giving me some company before I head home. It’s nice.”
“I’m sorry your parents were a no-show.”
“Not your fault. You don’t have to say sorry for them. I didn’t even expect them to come. They never did any other time of the year, why now?”
“You’re alone a lot?”
“They work a lot and travel.”
“They do that together?” he asked.
“Most of the time. I told you, I was the mistake child. They weren’t supposed to have me, and I think if they both believed in abortion I wouldn’t be here.”
He didn’t like that one bit.
“Don’t think like that. They’re your parents. They love you.”
This made her laugh. “No law says they’re supposed to. Take care of me, yes. That’s what any normal person is supposed to do. Love me, they don’t have to.”
He stared at her for a long time, not really sure what to make of her statement. “Do you think they don’t love you?”
“Most of the time I don’t know.”
They finished their food, and he turned the conversation to safer topics, school, upcoming projects. He asked her about her science assignment, and a few other things. Time flew by so fast that it seemed within a blink of an eye he was already parked outside of her home. The lights were on, but the curtains were closed.
“They’re home,” she said.
“I can see that.”
“Thank you for tonight. I really do appreciate it.”
She opened the door and climbed out.
“I enjoyed it, Lucia.”
She bent down, giving him a smile. “Me too, Jack.”
He watched her close the door and waited until she was inside.
It was the first time he could ever recall not wanting a woman to leave his company. He’d never had a long-term relationship. He’d always found women particularly boring, and they weren’t worth his time after a few fucks.
“You shouldn’t have taken her to the diner. You shouldn’t keep giving her lifts home.”
There were a lot of things he shouldn’t be doing, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from doing all of them. She called to him, and he knew that was wrong.
It was all wrong.
Every single part of it.
She was his student.
Underage.
Forbidden.
Wrong.
He shouldn’t be anywhere near her.
The best thing he could do was ask for her to be transferred to another class.
Entering his home, Jack knew he couldn’t do that.
There was a trust between them, and he didn’t want to be someone else in her life that ruined that trust.
Fuck.
He couldn’t hurt her.
He didn’t want to.
He was screwed.