BROCK EYES ME from head to toes, not missing a single curve, a single detail of the lace of my long black dress. But when he reaches the see-through material from mid-thigh to my feet, I think he’s about to barge in my apartment, throw me over his broad shoulders to lead me caveman style to my bedroom and ravish me.
“Like what you see?’’ I use my best low voice, the one that will drive him nuts.
He nods and clears his throat uneasily before he checks his watch. Then, he groans and leans heavily against the threshold. “Fuck. We don’t have enough time for a quickie. Who knew a charity would cockblock me.’’
I grab my clutch and drape a heavy shawl around my shoulders with Brock’s help, his hands lingering longer than necessary on me. I shrug his hands off me before they can distract me. I don’t need much to convince me to ignore how my mother would ruffle my feathers if we’re late.
“Blame my mother, then. Let’s go.’’ I grab my key from the inside of the door and walk out with Brock, making sure to lock my door behind me.
“She wouldn’t be the only one making our life a living hell. She enrolled my mother too. These two together are evil.’’
I nod my approval and push the underground button in the elevator to go straight to the parking lot. My mother wanted to stop by with the limo to drive us to the hotel where the charity is taking place tonight, but Brock and I made sure to find an excuse and win that small argument that gives us an hour of respite.
“Do you remember when we were maybe thirteen and vacationed all together in Hawaï? We surprised them talking about us getting married one day. They already decided on the colors, the number of guests and even the venue!’’ I cackle and brush away a stray curl from my updo that keeps on tickling my jaw.
He smirks and bumps his shoulder against mine. “I also remember how you freaked out when I said that I’d marry you as soon as we’d be out of college. You wouldn’t look at me for two whole days.’’
“At the time I didn’t know how to take jokes about marriage. I was impressionable. After all, I had never been kissed yet.’’
He groans and glares at the closed doors of the elevator. “You remedied that fast since that same week you kissed the older surfer guy.’’
“He was just a few months older!’’ I watch as his mouth tightens more and a rush takes over me. “Are you jealous of that guy?’’
He relaxes and snickers with me, shaking his head. “Of course not, but I was mad at the time. I was sure that you kissed him just because of what I said about the marriage thing.’’
“I kind of kissed that guy because of that. I don’t know why, though.’’ I think back to that day on the white sandy beach, the sun baking us, the waves of clear water crashing on shore while Brock was patiently waiting for the best wave to ride in the water, floating on his brand new board. I was talking with that guy who would become my first kiss, and before I realized what was going on, he leaned into me, and I didn’t back away when I caught Brock looking at us and not at the coming waves anymore. “It was bizarre and not that great.’’
The ding of the elevator announcing the arrival of our destination cuts short that walk down memory lane. Silently, we stepped to Brock’s car and drove off to the charity event.
I couldn’t get out of my mind how Brock had been cold that time in Hawaï after I kissed that guy. Things had been strained between us for a while then, and for the first time, I realize that it had been probably because of that kiss.
My blood runs faster through my veins as my hands become clammy on my black clutch. I keep glancing at Brock, unsure of how to break the silence, of what to think anymore because I’m starting to realize something. There are always two sides to a story, and somehow, I think I’ve always been blind to one side of ours.
“Addy?’’
Startled, I look around and see that my door is held open by a valet waiting for me to climb out. I smile apologetically while Brock laughs and gives his car keys to another man ready to go and park it. I adjust my shawl on my shoulders and stare at Brock walking to me. He gives me his elbow, and I gingerly take it, my cheeks heating up for an irrational reason.
“What were you day-dreaming about? Did you think about our plans for later tonight?’’
“Do we have plans?’’ I ask as I give the young woman who greets us a smile. She’s dressed in a strict suit, and her blond hair is held tight in a high perched knot.
Brock gives her our invitations and glances back at me immediately, not once aware of the way she’s not subtlety checking him out and taking note of his name on the invite. I glower at her and tug on Brock’s arm to lead him to the room already packed with many people, too many to find our respective parents.
“They involve no clothes and some recreational games only authorized for eighteen and older.’’ He smirks and grabs two flutes of bubbly Champagne on a tray. He offers me one and we clink our flutes together, all the while keeping a tight hold of my gaze, mesmerizing and rendering me a panting mess.
“Our mothers are here, and if they get wind of this, we’re doomed so refrain yourself.’’
He shrugs and sips his Champagne, his eyes now gliding over the different faces before he groans. “And it begins. Two o’clock, Mr. Goldman and the new Mrs. Goldman.’’
I turn around abruptly and watch as the couple threads through the crowd toward us, already offering us fake smiles.
Mr. Goldman is one of our newest accounts, and while he’s a fairly good client, he’s also a real pain in the ass, thinking too highly of his company. At almost sixty, he doesn’t want to open his eyes to the fact that his business is suffering from the recession and is in high risk if he doesn’t open up to the new way of communication and modernized products. Old school to the end.
“Miss Cox, Mr. Lowe, it’s a pleasure to see you tonight,’’ Mr. Goldman says, shaking our hands with a flourish that earns him a smirk from Brock and a harder handshake from me.
“The pleasure is all ours, Mr. Goldman,’’ Brock replies and kisses Mrs. Goldman’s hand which has her blushing. She’s ten years younger than Goldman, too plump to be called pretty and yet she has a girlish charm quite endearing. Coming from me, it’s something considering how I tend to feel better interacting with men than women.
“It’s good that you’re both here because I’d like to talk more about my next—’’
“Mr. Goldman,’’ I interrupt him with my business voice, falling back on the front I keep for all clients and employees. I can feel Brock’s eyes on me, and I push away the sensations that it gives me, such as my nipples tightening brazenly under my black bra. “I don’t think a charity is a right place for such business talk. Moreover, some of your competition is present tonight, and it’s not wise to let on some of our ideas, or else it’ll negate the effectiveness of the campaign. But rest assured that we’re taking your campaign with the utmost seriousness.’’
Mr. Goldman opens and closes his mouth a few times, obviously not used to being interrupted this way, even less so by a woman over twice younger than him. He shouldn’t be that surprised, though. After all, I’m known not to be a suck up. “I heard Mr. Zann signed a new contract with Cox Company.’’
I tilt my head to one side and narrow my eyes on his chubby face. “You should understand that I don’t discuss other clients, Mr. Goldman. If you want to know if the latest rumor is true or not, you should probably ask Mr. Zann himself.’’
“I’m worried that Mr. Zann will be your top priority, Miss Cox. You’re new in our world, but I’ve known many Mr. Zanns in my career, and these men are always asking for sole attention.’’ Goldman’s eyes turn cold, assessing me, testing me without being very inconspicuous.
I shake my head and force a laugh out when annoyance fills me. Right this instant, I could strangle my mother for forcing me here tonight.
“Cox Company is currently the largest advertising company based in Chicago, and we’re the third largest one combined with Chicago, New York City and L.A. Believe me, we have all the resources necessary to be available at all time to our clients and no matter how much our clients are paying us. We believe in quality, nothing else.’’
“And if I dare step in, Mr. Goldman,’’ Brock says, invading Mr.Goldman's personal space discreetly by leaning over him, towering above us all. “If you signed up with us it’s because we’re known for our privileged relation with our clients. Miss Cox herself meets every client, overview all campaigns and partake her ideas to benefit all accounts.’’
“I think you worry for nothing, sweetie,’’ Mrs. Goldman interrupts before her husband says another word. “Excuse my husband, but his company means so much to him, and with the current economy it’s difficult.’’
I nod and readjust my clutch on my wrist. I take a sip of Champagne, weighing my words to drive home both my impatience and how limited it is when it comes to such bullshit. As the adage says, time is money.
“Believe me, we’re all thriving to make our company work. We all have a duty to our employees and family. I’d do anything to see Cox Company successful over the next few decades and I make sure nobody downplay the importance of all our accounts. Am I clear enough?’’
Both Goldmans nod with wide eyes, mouth barely holding closed. I coldly smile at them and walk away, Brock on my heels. We find our seats at the same table as our respective family, and I fall on mine, sighing. Fortunately, our parents aren’t seated yet, or else I’m sure my father would have questioned why I’m so tense and ready to bite someone’s head off. He’s more old school and tends to freak out when he hears about how harsh I am on our clients. Though, he’s starting to warm up to my method since it seems to work well for us and it gives us a certain reputation that awakes curiosity.
“Do you know it’s a turn on when you’re mouthing these men off?’’
I snap to Brock’s attention and arch my eyebrows. I soften immediately upon seeing his hot eyes on me and the pink hue on his unshaved cheeks. “You’re nuts.’’
“Believe me, it’s hot,’’ he replies in a whisper, leaning closer to me, draping his arm on the back of my chair. “It’s ballsy.’’
I chuckle and shake my head. “Basically, a woman with balls is turning you on? Are you trying to tell me something about your sexual inclination?’’
He smirks and is about to say something when my mother’s voice clear as crystal rings to our ears, bringing our teasing to a brusque end.
We both straighten up, and Brock pulls his arm away from my chair.
“I looked everywhere for you two! Did you talk to people at least, Adeline? There are many clients from what your father told me.’’ My mother sits and my father kisses the top of her head before he follows her. Something similar happens with Mr. and Mrs. Lowe, along with a hushed talk with their son. All three of them are smiling.
“I’m not anti-social, Mom.’’
“Calm down, Lou. I saw Adeline and Brock talking with Mr. Goldman. He’s not the easiest man.’’ My father says and smiles at me.
I can see in his eyes the underlying fear, but he’s trying to let me do my thing, and I respect him more so for it. I put a hand over his and squeeze it, trying not to pay too much attention how his veins are more visible and how his wrinkles deepened over the course of the past year. I’m sure his last professional trip wore him down, but as a proud man, he’s not going to ever admit it aloud.
“His wife is charming, and I’m sorry if I worry. I heard many things about how she’s butting heads with the clients.’’
Brock turns back to us. I can see him in the corner of my eye, scowling at my mother. He hates it when someone criticizes me, more so when it comes to work related topics. I clench my fists under the table.
“She landed another contract, Lou. Our daughter knows what she’s doing.’’
“Lou, with all due respect,’’ Brock breaks in, toying with his watch. “You’ve never seen Addy lead a meeting or negotiating. She’s damn good and at only twenty-seven she’s renown. Clients might complain about her attitude, but they’re still running back to us, almost begging us to let them sign with us.’’
My mother deflates and stares at me with a small smile on her thin lips. “I’m just worried and it’s not just about the company. This is all foreign to me, and I know you’re talented honey, but you’re always so cold and distant that sometimes I’m afraid it also invades too much of your personal life. It’s been a while since you last dated.’’
I would have never seen this one coming. I blink at her, try to find some help from Mr. and Mrs. Lowe who are strangely quiet, or Brock whose eyes are crinkling with silent delight. Even my father is pretending not to be paying attention when I have no doubt that he does.
“I’m still young, Mom.’’
“I know that honey, but it’s time to date, enjoy your life. Use your weekends to go out with men.’’
“As in plural?’’
She takes a bite of her fancy appetizer—a trio of carpaccio salmon, tuna, and scallops. “Don’t be cute, Adeline. What I’m saying is that you should go out more. Take Brock’s example.’’
Brock and I both choke on our wine at the same time, garnering questioning looks from our parents, except for my mother who is more assertive than anything else. I break in sweat, unable to put another bite of raw fish in my mouth when I’m feeling so queasy.
She’s baiting me, us. I’m sure of it.
“No offense, Brock,’’ Mr. Lowe says, breaking the strange atmosphere with a calm voice that slowly soothes me. “But I don’t think Adeline should follow in Brock’s steps. He should be the one taking more of your daughter’s example.’’
“I’m sorry, but talking about Addy or my’s personal life in a room packed with a bunch of people we’re working with isn’t such a great idea. Moreover, we’re both adults, we have our life. I don’t think it’s open to discussion.’’
“It would be nice if for once you’d let us meet a girlfriend, though,’’ Mrs. Lowe counters with a soft voice and a twinkle in her eyes at the prospect of a potential future daughter-in-law.
Brock cringes and stops eating too. “Mom—‘’
“It’s true! At least Addeline introduced a few boyfriends to all of us. You never have.’’ She defies her son over the rim of her large glass of red wine.
Both husbands exchange a meaningful look while the wives nod, seemingly on the same page.
Being on the receiving end of mothers’ nosiness isn’t agreeable, and I never expected such a turn of event. It’s not that often I don’t know what to say. At least, in a boarding room, I’m always in charge, ruling the meetings.
“Maybe it’s because I’m waiting for the woman who would be more than a casual girlfriend. Once I’m with a woman I deem my match, I’ll introduce her, believe me.’’
“I’m wondering what you’re exactly looking for in a woman, Brock.’’
He tenses further and suddenly stands up. He throws his napkin on the table and wordlessly walks out of the room and back to the lobby. I watch him leave, frustrated beyond belief and worried about him. I want to follow him and make sure he’s going to be alright, but one look from my mother freezes me on the spot.
“I don’t know what his problem is,’’ Mrs. Lowe mumbles sullenly, her eyes downcast on her plate.
To be honest, I wonder too. He’s more laid-back usually when his mother is grilling him about his personal life. Not tonight. Maybe it’s because I’ve been sitting next to him and we’re secretly sleeping together. I don’t know, but it’s awakening more questions in me, pilling up with the ones I already have since Brock and I talked about that time in Hawaï and the other few times when he went off on me because of the intensity between us and his jealousy.
“Is he seeing someone, Adeline?’’ Mr. Lowe asks me. My parents and his wife perk up, perched on my lips.
I shake my head. “Not that I’m aware of, but you shouldn’t be hounding us about this. We’re working countless hours and we’re only twenty-seven. Right now I don’t see why it’s such an issue if we’re focusing on our professional life and less so on our personal life.’’
“Balancing both is the key to happiness, honey. We’re just worried.’’
“Next time you should approach the subject differently. It’s starting to get tiring.’’ I stand up, put my napkin next to my half-eaten plate and walk out, making sure to not lock eyes with the disappointment I’d be sure to see in my mother’s eyes.
Another fiasco tonight. I should know by now that these charity events are not for me. Next time, I’ll make sure to have other plans and send a fat check to the charity. It’ll be as well.
In the big lobby softly lit, I look for a lonely figure, but I don’t see Brock. I sigh and go for my clutch to find my cell phone and call him when someone clears their throat in front of me.
I look up and internally groan.
Mr. Zann.
Of course, I needed just him to put the last nail in my coffin. “Mr. Zann, I’m sorry I didn’t see you.’’
He nods stiffly, his eyes trailing down my body slowly, shamelessly appraising me.
Strangely, I don’t know how it makes me feel. He’s such a troubling man, cold and hard that it’s difficult to understand all the signals my body is sending. But I’m sure of one thing; I’m not disgusted by his look and it’s enough to worry me. Usually, that man makes me want to run in the other direction. Right about now, dressed in his smart navy blue suit with navy tie and a snow white dress shirt, he’s oddly intriguing.
“Miss Cox, I wasn’t expecting you tonight. I must say that you’re absolutely dashing, but I’m sure your CFO already told you that.’’
I purse my lips and stand taller. Every time I talk with that man, it’s like a mind game. He’s testing me, assessing my words and body language and adjusts according. I both hate and love that in business, but at the moment, I’m mostly wary.
“Mr. Lowe is my childhood friend, so I’m afraid it’s ingrained in him by his mother to offer me a compliment.’’
“Your childhood friend wouldn’t mind if I asked you to dinner, then, Miss Cox, would he?’’
I take a step back, physically backing out, afraid to let his dark charm ensnare me.
I’ve never met such a man, someone without a doubt dark and cold and yet quite mesmerizing in his own way. Also, his handsome look is playing in his favor, but I can’t let it get to me. I promised Brock I wouldn’t let Zann seduce me and I won’t. Moreover, there’s another thing called ethics that will prevent me from making any mistake.
“You’re a client to Cox Company. I’m making sure to keep a certain distance with my clients, Mr. Zann.’’
“I always get what I want, and in this instance, this is not only a figure of speech.’’
I swallow with difficulty due to the lump the size of a tennis ball in my throat. “You can’t have me, believe me.’’
He smiles his tight-lipped smile and nods once. “I think I’m going to love the chase, Miss Cox. It’s not often I meet a challenge and it’s quite…’’ He lets his eyes wander over my body, making me feel oddly exposed. “Interesting. I’ll see more of you very soon, Miss Cox.’’ He turns around and walks to the packed room, not once looking back over his shoulder.
Baffled, I release a breath I haven’t realized I was holding and jump when a hand settles on the small of my back.
“It’s just me,’’ Brock says with a tight voice and I immediately curse mentally. He probably saw the exchange.
“Are you going to say something about Zann?’’
“There’s nothing I can say, Addy. The man was fucking you with his eyes and you enjoyed it. Don’t think about denying it.’’
I push his body away from mine and glare at him. I don’t care if we’re in the middle of a lobby and high profile people can see us and probably hear us. I let the tingles of anger invade my legs and arms, like every time I see red.
“We’re not dating, Brock! I did nothing wrong and it doesn’t mean anything. I can’t stop men’s eyes if they want to check me out. Damn it!’’
He points at me, and his eyes narrow. “I’m the one fucking you. Not him!’’
“So what!’’ I slap his hand away from my face and cross my arms over my heaving chest. “There’s nothing to talk about because you know I’d never go after a client.’’
“He’s going after you.’’
“But I don’t give a shit, Brock!’’ I yell in the lobby. My voice rings in the vast space, and people turn toward us, some openly glaring while others seem quite interested in gathering enough to gossip later.
“It didn’t look like it.’’
I shake my head and without a word walk toward the front door, ready to find a taxi and go back home. Without Brock.
But of course, the man doesn’t know when to stop. He follows me and grabs my elbow tightly, leading me to the man who took his car key earlier tonight. The young valet quickly walks away to fetch the car.
“Leave me alone, Brock.’’
“Dream on,’’ he bites back, jaw clenched and fingers almost painful on my arm.
I shiver under the assault of the cold breeze. My shawl is still in my hands instead of covering my bare arms and barely covered shoulders.
“I don’t want to talk to you.’’
“Then I’ll just fuck you until you remember I’m not going to let you go to Zann.’’
“What?’’ I try to pry my arm free, but it’s for nothing. “You’re delusional if you think something will happen tonight. Right now, I’m close to hating you, which never happened before. If you know me, you’ll let me go before things go from back to downright awful between us.’’
The car stops in front of us. Brock doesn’t waste a second. He walks to the passenger door, still tightly holding my elbow. He opens the door and not so gently pushes me inside. I humph and gather my long dress before he closes the door. Otherwise, the fabric would stay trapped half in and out. I watch him angrily stomp to the other side, and take the driver’s seat.
He drives away too fast, but I don’t care. I cross my arms over my chest once again and don’t look at him. At least, we live in the same building, so he’s not going to lead me on the other side of Chicago and away from the safety and calm of my apartment.
“Believe me or not, Addy, but I’m going to fuck your brains out. You better realize now that I’m not joking around.’’
“Submission by sex? Are you on a Fifty Shades trip or what?’’ I snarl, not once betraying my surprise at his words and the darkness lacing them. There is a part of him I still don’t have access to.
“Shut up and listen to me, Addy.’’ He presses harder on the accelerator and I suck on my breath. “I am not going to let that slide and yes I’m going to fuck you, but not to have you submit. All I want is having you addicted to what I do to your body. I want you to need my cock deep inside of you at least once a day. I want you to dream about how I fuck you and waking up horny as hell. I want you to beg me to fuck you whenever we have free time. I want you only to see me and not want another man. So yeah, I’m going to fuck you. You better get ready for the ride.’’