HE CLEARS HIS throat and puts distance between us. Maybe it’s due to the force of my orgasm, but right now I need anything but distance between us. That distance, enough to actually break our connection, makes me vulnerable all over again. I hate this.
He glances around the kitchen and walks to the fridge. He crouches and grabs his underwear and jumps in immediately, not once sparing me a glance. He’s just dressing back up while I’m sitting on the kitchen island, naked and with an ass rendered numb due to the cold surface.
Without a word, Brock gathers my clothes and holds them to me. He’s staring past my bare shoulder.
I take several deep breaths and snag my wrinkled clothes, not caring if I’m putting them the right way or not. All I want is to hide under the delicate fabric and face Brock because that Brock with a cold glare and a tense body isn’t my Brock, the one I’ve always known and cared about. He reminds me of the perfect grade A asshole who once he scratched his itch, he’s good to go and most of all, away from the woman who helped with that itch.
If only sex weren’t so freaking great, I’d have sworn off a while ago.
“We’ll talk in the living room,’’ he says and turns around to walk briskly away.
I gape at his broad back, dumbstruck at the cold shoulder. One minute he’s all cuddly, and now he’s freezing me out like a popsicle. Who does that to their best friend? Of course, not everybody has sex with their best friend and even less on a damn cold kitchen island.
I tug down my blouse, square my shoulders and follow him with my head held high and my gaze steady. His golden eyes glow in the barely lit living room and having them on me doesn’t help my nerves or my jittering. I stop behind one of the two section couches, same as mine but these in a chocolate brown. I either sit in front of Brock or next to him and both options don’t appeal to me at the moment. At least, standing there in the middle of the huge room, I know I have easy access to the front door which is a very enticing escape.
He runs a hand over his left eyebrow and waves at the couch in front of me. I answer by crossing my arms over my sensitive breasts, fighting back the wince that threatens to creep up my face when my lacy bra brushes against the skin.
Overstimulated. My whole body is overstimulated.
“Don’t you want to talk?’’
“Only to my kind best friend, not the jerk that was there in the kitchen a couple of minutes ago.’’
He puts his elbows on his powerful thighs and hides his face in his hands. His fingers tighten in the messy jet black locks of hair on top of his head, and all I want is to go to him and hug him. I’ve always hated to see him distressed.
“Your question was like a bucket of ice water, Addy,’’ he mumbles from behind his hands.
“What? When I asked you what we’re going to do?’’ I groan and round the couch, falling into the lukewarm cushions. I blush when I notice the soreness between my legs and bite back a nervous giggle. So not the time to laugh. “I guess you don’t like your girls to talk once you get off.’’
His head snaps up, and his glare makes me gulp. He clenches his fists tightly and grits his teeth. Even in the weak light coming from the lamp next to the big TV, I can make out the muscle in his jaw jumping fast a few times.
“Don’t ever compare yourself to the women I fucked in the past.’’
I arch an eyebrow and point at him. “Why shouldn’t I? You threw my clothes in my face, Brock.’’ I shake my head at him and look away.
“And the last time, you asked me to leave your place.’’ He grumbles and moves around on the couch, making the fabric hiss under his body. But I don’t look back at him. Instead, I’m watching the glowing lights of the city. “Addy, I don’t know what is going on here. You think that I should have all the answers and maybe I should because I’m the one who threw myself at you, but seriously I can’t explain what is going on.’’
I lick my lips, and my heart lurches. I still taste him in my mouth, and somehow, I can’t ignore what it does to me. I stare back at him and watch his eyes focused on my mouth, and it warms me. But it shouldn’t. “You were jealous.’’
“I shouldn’t be.’’
“You do not deny it?’’
“Why would I?’’ He chuckles and waves in the direction of the kitchen. “With the show, I put on in there, I don’t think I can deny anything.’’
“How come we went from being best friends without any slip-ups in over twenty years of friendship to sleeping together twice and being messed up over it?’’
“It all comes down to your crazy idea of having a kid with the first man to cross your path.’’
I glare at him and push my hair over my shoulders. “You’re exaggerating.’’
He leans back on the couch and gazes at the ceiling. His Adam’s apple bobs a few times on his throat under the dark shadow of his scruff. “It would have never happened if you hadn’t had that idea in your thick skull.’’
I puff and go to defend myself, but I stop. He’s right. I created this mess because Brock wanted to help me like always and somehow it added the sex equation to our relationship. Now that this new unknown is added, it complicates our friendship exponentially.
“It was stupid, and I swear I’m back on the pill. I’m probably not pregnant so let’s just forget about that lapse in judgment.’’
“That doesn’t erase the fact that we slept together twice, Addy. And no matter what you say, you might be pregnant.’’
“I will know soon. If I don’t have my period, we’ll worry about it, but for now, we just keep this out of our way and focus on…’’ I trail off and purse my lips, unsure of how to qualify that thing.
“On not screwing our brains’ out again?’’
I gape at him and stand up to punch his arm when I see his smirk breaking the cold mask on his face. But when I’m standing in front of him between the couch and the coffee table, I can’t even punch him.
Touching him is dangerous.
He’s looking at me, and from his sitting position on the couch and his upturned face, I see more clearly his golden eyes. And his lips still swollen from our previous activities.
His face comes to my chest, and I can’t shake off the image imprinted in my head, the image of his mouth on my breasts, sucking my nipples and drawing out moans that didn’t sound like me at all.
Yeah, erasing the sex in our relationship is impossible and I’m afraid that it’ll be hard to stop thinking about us having sex whenever I see him. It disrupts the balance between us, that same balance, always so complex to find when a man and a woman are concerned.
“Don’t say things like that,’’ I utter in a low voice, my hair falling on one side of my face as I look down at him.
He widens the space between his long legs and brings his left knee on the other side of me. I’m between his legs. Mind out of the gutter, Addy.
“Why?’’ He cocks his head and grins wider. “Because you like dirty talk?’’
I rub at my temples and curse him in my head. “Do you want to ruin our friendship?’’
“What?’’ He shakes his head and frowns. “That’s not—‘’
“Then don’t make it so difficult, Brock.’’ Using the stern voice, I only use at work or with people outside of my family on Brock tightens the knot in my stomach. “Why were you jealous? Why did you come onto me again?’’
“I wasn’t the only one into it, Addy. Don’t put everything on me.’’ His frown doesn’t ease up, but he grabs one of my hands softly, almost as if afraid I’d pull away. But I don’t.
“I didn’t try to push you away.’’ I sidestep his outstretched leg and sit next to him, my hip flush against his. As usual, he winds an arm around my shoulders and brings me back closer to him.
“Have you ever felt attracted to me before last week?’’ he asks me quietly. His fingers on my upper arm freeze and his bicep flexes behind my head.
“I’ve always realized that you’re a good-looking guy and hot, but I never thought about us that way when we hung out together. Not really, at least.’’ I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and watch him fiddle with the hem of his tee-shirt. “You?’’
“I’m a guy, and you’re a beautiful woman. You’ve always been beautiful, Addy.’’
“What do you mean?’’
He curls his arm from my shoulders to my head and forces me to turn to him. His eyes bore into mine, serious and hinting at something akin to fear. “I’ve always wanted a taste of you. Once, just once to know what it was like to have you, to see you and hear you like this.’’ He growls out. His eyes darken then, and I stop breathing.
“You never said anything.’’
He closes his eyes and leans his head against the back of the couch, but he still keeps a tight hold on my face, probably afraid that I’d put distance between us. “You’re my best friend, Addy. I couldn’t treat you like trash when it’s the only thing I’ve ever done since I was a teenager.’’
“Why is it different now?’’
“Because you gave me a fucking opening.’’ He reopens his eyes and traces my lower lip with his thumb while his other hand cups me behind my head, fingers splayed under my thick hair. “And I wanted to help you.’’
“And now that you had your taste?’’
He grits his teeth and lets his eyes wander down my body, stopping a second longer on the opening of my blouse where the swell of my breasts is visible. “Now, I don’t know how to go back to normal when all I think about is being inside you. You fucked me up.’’
I inhale deeply, his words calling out to my primal side, that part of me he unleashed not long ago. But I need to be smart about this because, beyond that sexual completion, my best friend is more important. I can’t imagine my life without him. I just can’t.
“I don’t want to give up on our friendship, Brock.’’
He kisses my forehead, lingering there, drawing shivers out of me. His supple lips against the smooth skin of my forehead warm me. I lean closer to him and let my hands fall on his thighs. His muscles flex under my palms as if every time I touch him, I electrocute him.
“Answer this. Do you want me? Do you want me to touch you, kiss you, thrust into you so hard that it makes you cry out?’’
I close my eyes and nod, part ashamed at my answer and part flustered at his questions and the details he willingly voices. I’m discovering a side of him I never knew existed and it’s unsettling. And hot. Damn, is it hot.
“Then, Addy, I’ll be your best friend by day and your lover by night. I have and need to do so much more to you.’’
“At some point, you’ll have your fill, Brock,’’ I whisper, rubbing his thighs over the soft washed up denim of his old jeans.
“I’m betting on you finding someone better than me first.’’
I put a finger to his lips to shut him up and plant my eyes in his. “You’re worth much more than me, Brock. Don’t ever put me on a pedestal. You will find your match one day, and then you’ll forget your nut of a best friend.’’
He swats my hand away from his face and grabs my waist and boosts me on his lap with both of my legs on either side of him. My skirt hikes high over my legs as I dig my fingers into his shoulders to keep from falling all over him.
“If there’s one thing I’m sure of in this life, it’s that no other woman can compete with you. You’ll always be my number one, Addy. Always have and always will. It’s not even a matter of choice, I never had one.’’
My heartbeat increases in my chest, wild and unstoppable. “Who knew you could be so talented with words. God, you really know how to woo a woman.’’
He runs his hands from my waist to my shoulders, his fingers tracing my spine. “Funny. I never tried to. I’m just speaking my mind. I don’t want you to ever think low of yourself and certainly not because of me. So yeah, I’m talking like a woman here, using all these clichés, but it’s only the truth. I’m trapped in you.’’
I put my forehead against his and keep my eyes open, locked with his. I share every breath with him, feel every breath when his chest rises and falls against my body. “I can feel it in my bones, Brock. It’s going to mess everything up.’’
“Yet, you’re willing to risk it all.’’
“Because I want more of this.’’
He traces my cheekbones with his thumbs and pecks my lips softly. As he’s about to pull away, I wound my arms around his neck and keep him right there, against my mouth. I part my lips and lick his lower lip. He growls and it goes straight to my throbbing sex. Just with a freaking sound.
He nips my lips and then, slips his tongue into my mouth, drawing me into him once again until I’m not thinking about anything else until I willingly relinquish my beloved control.
I have no idea where it’s going, but I know it’s going to be epic, but epicness doesn’t come without ups and downs. These scare me to my core.