I look down at my lunch, moving my salad around the bowl with my fork. My stomach grumbles in hunger, but the thought of putting food in my mouth, chewing, and swallowing seems like too much effort. I flip a page on my Kindle and force myself to take another bite.

My lunch break is almost over, and I’ve barely eaten a thing. I make myself eat at least half the salad and toss the rest. My shift at The Book Bag is halfway over, and I successfully made it through the first part without breaking down or showing that I’m sad.

Or showing any emotion at all, really. That part of me is off, and in order to survive, it has to stay that way. It’s Tuesday afternoon, and I sat in the alley behind the store to eat my lunch. It’s hot and sunny today, just how I like it.

“How was lunch?” Janet asks when I get back into the store. She’s only here for a few hours today, helping me log everything in the store and to cover my break.

“Fine,” I say softly and immediately get back to work. Janet hands off her notes and takes off. I keep my mind busy by making a detailed list of every item in the store. Mrs. Williams might need it whenever the time comes to move.

Minutes before I close the shop, Janet comes back in. She left her phone in the break room and came back for it.

“Did your boyfriend ever come back?” she asks, looking down at her phone screen as she walks.

“Come back?” I echo.

“To the store. He came when you were on your lunch break.”

Chase was here. For me. “Uh, yeah. I saw him,” I lie.

“Good. All right, then, night, Sierra!”

“Good night.”

I lock the door behind her, mind going a million miles an hour. It’s clear Chase cares, and I want so incredibly bad to go to him. Is this something we can get past? Can I forgive him for betraying my trust? I’ll have to learn to trust him again. It might take time, but it’s worth it…right?

I mull it over the entire time I put back books, and I have to count the cash in the register twice because my mind is on Chase. Once the money is stashed away, I pull my phone from my purse and lean on the wall, sinking down onto my butt. My fingers tremble and my heart aches.

I have over a dozen missed calls and texts from Chase. I open the voicemails and listen to the first one.

“Sierra,” he starts and the sound of his voice does something to me. Calms me. Soothes me. Turns me on, even now. “There’s no excuse for what I did, and I can never say sorry enough. I kept listening to the messages because I wanted to know you were happy. It doesn’t make sense and makes even less after I met you. It wasn’t right to listen to words that were meant for another. The things you said…they were so beautiful. I fell in love with the Mystery Woman from her words alone. And then I met you, and I fell even harder. I don’t know how to make it right. What you said was personal…not meant for me. I want to make it up to you, and the best way I can think to do that is to leave you messages too.”

The voicemail ends and I play the next one.

“I liked to brag about how I wasn’t afraid of anything, but there is one thing that always freaked me out. I never wanted to die before I was buried.” He pauses and I try to figure out what he means. “I’ve seen too many people live but not be alive. I thought I was living because I took risks and was surrounded by a certain level of daily danger. But I was wrong. I never felt alive until I met you. And right now…right now I feel like I’m dead inside but my body refuses to die.”

I replay the message, soaking in every one of his words. I play the following one, which was left only half an hour later.

“When I was sixteen I purposely ate lobster so I could get out of a math exam I wasn’t ready for. I ended up in the hospital for a week and missed my junior prom. I would have been pissed, but my mom stayed with me most of that week I was in the hospital. It was the most time we’d spent together since she legally wasn’t allowed to leave me unattended. And when I looked at the test and saw those two pink lines, I knew you’d be a good mom, giving our baby everything I didn’t have but wanted from my mother. Any child you have will be lucky.”

I find myself smiling at his words, and my heart longs to beat against his. There are more messages. I play the next.

“If you asked me a year ago if I believed in love, I would have laughed. The last thing I thought I’d find when I came back here, was a reason to stay. Maybe that’s the reason for all of this, and I keep thinking about the reason I came here, and how our paths crossed. I came here because my dad died. Loss brought us together, and it’s crazy how something so beautiful—even if it was short lived—came out of the darkness. Maybe we were always meant to be.”

Tears fall from my eyes and I get up, yanking my purse from the shelf behind the counter so fast it catches on a hook and knocks down a box of cleaning supplies. I hastily shove them back and race to my car, driving as fast as I can to The Mill House. My heart is beating outside of my chest.

Chase hurt me.

He didn’t mean to, but he did.

Yet that doesn’t mean we need to walk away. We can start again, right? My fingers shake when I get out of the car.

Chase isn’t working tonight, and Corey hasn’t seen him. I go up the stairs, taking two at a time, and knock on the door to the apartment. When Chase doesn’t answer, I try the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked. Chase always got on me for not locking my doors.

“Chase?” I call and step inside, feeling along the wall for the light. Right away, something is off. The air conditioner isn’t blowing out freezing cold air. “Chase?” I hold my breath, waiting for him to wake up and rush out of the bedroom.

He doesn’t.

I set my purse down on the kitchen table and cross the room, going into the bedroom. The bed is neatly made, and all of Chase’s personal items are gone. I whirl around desperate to find something that proves he’s still here.

Then I see it, leaning up against the large windows in the living room. Chase’s phone. Jake’s phone. My heartbeat echoes in my ears and my hand shakes as I pick it up. I hit the home button, and see there is one missed call and a voicemail. Chase set this up for me to find.

I start to feel sick as I unlock the phone and open the messages. All my old voicemails have been erased, and the only message left is from three hours ago. I don’t recognize the number, but I press play anyway.

“Sierra,” Chase starts. “Hopefully you found the phone and knew to listen. I know you will, as weird as that is. It’s a feeling, I guess. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. All I ever wanted was for you to have your happy ending, but I’m starting to think you won’t get that with me around. I still love you. I will always love you. I promised you that I would, and I’ve never broken a promise.”

The message ends and I press the phone to my ear, waiting for more. There has to be more. Because if not, then that was goodbye.

“No,” I whisper, and my words turn into sobs. Chase is gone. Moved on to the next town, searching for somewhere to call home. I fall to the ground, crying. I cry and cry until there is nothing left. Until I fall asleep. I wake at dawn, cold and stiff from lying on the ground. I sit up, and movement outside the window catches my eye.

It’s the deer. She’s creeping toward the shallow part of the river for a drink, and she’s not alone. Her baby is close behind, curiously sniffing at the water. I watch them, transfixed, and know seeing them is some sort of sign. I just wish I knew what it meant.

* * *

“Hey,” Lisa says and apprehensively steps into my bedroom. She’s holding a coffee and has brought me one every morning as a peace offering. It isn’t working. “Rob told me he was on patrol this morning and saw you leaving Chase’s house wearing the same clothes you had on last night. Does that mean you guys—”

“No,” I snap, and pull the blankets tight around my shoulders. I don’t have to be at work until later this afternoon, though right now I’m not sure I can go at all. Getting out of bed is too much effort. I have no energy. No drive.

“But you were at his house.”

“He wasn’t there.”

“But you…what do you mean?”

I sit up. “I mean he wasn’t fucking there. He’s gone!”

Lisa’s face breaks and I almost feel bad for snapping at her. “He’s coming back, right? He has to.”

“Why would he?” I shake my head. “You all have made it abundantly clear he’s not welcome here and I…I…I pushed him away.”

“No. Don’t you dare blame yourself. Call him. Tell him you miss him and he’ll come back. I promise you, he will.”

“I can’t. He left his phone. The messages are all gone. He left it so I could see he really did delete everything.”

“Sierra,” Lisa says and sets the coffee on my dresser. She climbs into bed and puts her hand on my shoulder. “Let’s not fight. Be mad at me later, okay? I just want to be here for you.”

“Okay,” I say and the anger leaves me, immediately replaced by raw, painful grief. I cry into my pillow, and Lisa tries to soothe me by running her hand over my hair. She wears rings on every finger, and they catch on loose strands, which pull and snap.

“You’re going to be late for work,” I hiccup.

“That’s okay. Being with you is more important.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and steady my breathing. “I’m okay.”

“You’re not, and it’s okay to not be okay, Sierra.”

“I know. And you’re right. I’m okay enough for you to go to work though. You’ve been late enough this summer already.”

“Yeah. Write-ups for being tardy don’t count. If they did, I would have been fired years ago.” Lisa hugs me. “I don’t want you being alone. Maybe we should get your mom or your sister to come over. Even Gran.”

I shake my head. “No. I’ll call Scott. I haven’t talked to him in a while anyway.”

“He’ll try to get you to fly out to Orlando again,” she says with a half-smile.

“Maybe I’ll go.”

Lisa squeezes my arm. “A change of scenery is nice sometimes. Are you sure you’re okay by yourself?”

“Yes. I’m exhausted and want to sleep before I go to work.”

“Okay. I love you, Si. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

I just nod, trying hard not to be mad at her. She didn’t mean to set off the shitstorm, and it all goes back to Chase anyway. It was only a matter of time before I found out.

Lisa leaves, and the cats jump up in the bed, meowing until I get up to feed them. My eyes are swollen and red from crying. I hope a few hours of sleep will give them enough relief. I don’t want anyone to ask me what’s wrong. There’s no way I can keep it together then.

* * *

Wednesday night comes and passes with no word from Chase. Josh called, asking me if I’d seen his brother, which makes everything seem so much more definite. Chase is gone.

Scott was working when I called during the day and called me back late Wednesday night. I poured myself a big glass of wine, drinking it fast to give me the courage to tell Scott everything.

And I did. We stayed up until three o’clock talking. I miss my brother. He has this cool calmness to him and is always able to see things rationally without being too cold like Sam. He’s the middle child and is literally the perfect blend between Sam’s uptight personality and my sometimes-over-the-top free-spiritedness.

The moment I told him about the miscarriage, he wanted to get on a plane and come here. I’m still not sure he’s not on a plane right now. Scott didn’t give me infinite wisdom, but just talking about everything made the weight on my shoulders a little lighter.

I fell asleep on the couch around four in the morning, and got up just an hour or so later and dragged myself into my room. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and light rain starts to fall.

At eight-thirty, my phone rings. It’s on the nightstand next to my bed, and it wakes me up. There have been many times where I’ve slept through phone calls, but my hyper vigilance to hear from Chase wakes me from a dead sleep.

Only, it’s not Chase. It’s Mrs. Williams.

“I’m sorry to wake you, dear,” she says when I sleepily answer. “And I’m sorry to ask this of you since it’s your day off.”

“Ask what?”

“If you could open the store today. It might be the last time.”

“The last time?”

“The real estate agent just called. We got an all-cash offer and the buyer is willing to pay more if we can get everything settled today.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“It’s sudden, honey, I know.”

“Yeah.” I close my eyes, feeling guilty that I’m not sharing any excitement. “I’ll be at the store.”

I’m tired, but I know trying to sleep for another half-hour is pointless. I can’t shut off my mind either. What am I going to do when the store closes? The family business has always been a backup plan, just one I never thought I’d have to execute.

* * *

The for-sale sign is gone by the time I get to the store. Fat raindrops fall down in a fury, and storm-thick clouds gather overhead. I take my usual spot behind the counter and look around. Being inside a bookstore on a stormy day is heaven. I’m really going to miss this place.

With the rain, business is slower than usual. I’m okay with that because I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone. I’m teetering on the edge of bursting into tears, and I’m starting to get annoyed with myself.

I don’t like being sad.

Around one o’clock, Mrs. Williams and Jackie Lewis, one of the two real estate agents in Summer Hill come in. Mrs. Williams is beaming ear to ear. I guess that buyer paid the extra cash to get this place today.

“Everything is taken care of, I see.” I notice the stack of papers in Jackie’s hand that she’s keeping dry inside her raincoat.

“Almost,” Mrs. Williams tells me. “I sold the building. In two days. For more than my goal. I never thought I’d see the day…” She trails off, laughing.

“That’s great.” I force a smile. “So, what does that mean for the books?”

“That’s up to you dear.”

“What?”

Mrs. Williams looks at Jackie and smiles again. “The buyer has a proposition for you. He’d like to know if you’d be interested in buying the building from him.”

I cock an eyebrow. “But he just bought it.”

“Exactly.”

Jackie steps forward and slides the paper in front of me on the counter. The confusion leaves me when I look down. My hand covers my open mouth.

“My client is very motivated to sell,” Jackie tells me, sounding professional as if this is an everyday occurrence. “As you can see, his asking price is very reasonable. He’s covering closing costs as well.”

Thunder crackles above us and the lights flicker. I blink and look down at the paper again. The building is for sale for a dollar. One. Dollar. My eyes scan the paper, heart skipping a beat when I see the seller’s name.

Chase Henson.

“Is he here?” I ask, voice nothing more than a hollow whisper.

“He might still be at the bank,” Jackie starts. She pulls a pen from her purse and extends it to me. “If you could just—”

I don’t hear the rest of what she says. If there’s a chance Chase is in town, I need to take it. I push open the door and step into the pouring rain. Life doesn’t hand out do-overs. You don’t always get a second chance. Sometimes, it’s now or never.

I close my eyes as thunder claps loudly above me.

Three…two…one.

“Sierra!”

I open my eyes and see Chase standing across the street. Rain pelts down on me, and lightning flashes above us. The whole world stops and everything fades. The wind. The rain. The pain.

I have to get to him. Now. My heart lurches in my chest and I take off, feet splashing in puddles as I leap off the sidewalk. Chase runs for me too, and we collide in the middle of the street. He takes me in his arms, lifting me up off the ground. My arms go around him and he puts his lips to mine.

I melt into him, bringing my hand to his cheek, cupping his face and kissing him with everything I have. He kisses me back even harder, slipping his tongue into my mouth. My heart swells in my chest and tears are falling from my eyes, mixing with the rain. Chase holds me tight, and the feel of his muscles under his wet T-shirt sends me over the edge.

“Chase.” I move my head back just enough to look at him, needing to see into his hazel eyes and make sure this is real.

“Sierra.” My name pours from his lips like velvet, and it’s suddenly my favorite thing for him to say. He looks into my eyes, and so much emotion plays on his handsome face.

Sorrow.

Love.

Regret.

Passion.

Rain comes down in sheets and the wind picks up. Chase pulls me to him and kisses me again, and jolts of electricity shoot through me. Time stops, and we forget that a storm is raging on around us. Lightning strikes the stoplight near us, sending sparks flying down onto the pavement.

“You came back,” I whisper.

“I never left,” he tells me. “Not really.”

“I went to your house and you weren’t there. I found the phone. I thought you were gone forever.”

Chase’s brow furrows and he kisses me again. We’re both soaked from rain but neither of us care. It feels so good to be in Chase’s arms again. He moves his mouth from mine to my neck, kissing and sucking my skin. We’re standing in the middle of the street, surrounded by the wind and the rain, as thunder and lightning loom directly overhead.

None of that matters.

Chase is here. The dark abyss inside me fills with light. He sets me down and runs his hand over my arms, feeling the goose bumps on my skin.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No,” he says. “It’s not.”

“You’re right.” I move closer, fingers curling under the hem of his white T-shirt. It’s rain-soaked, and I can see his tattoos through the wet fabric. “I’m mad and I’m hurt, and it feels like you went behind my back listening to those messages. But I don’t want it to tear us apart. We’re going through something hard and painful together, and I need you, and I think you need me too.”

“I do, but it’s more than that. I never believed in fate or things being meant to be before, and I still don’t think I do. No matter what is thrown at us, how many people keep saying we shouldn’t be together, I keep going back to you. And I always will. I choose you, Sierra. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He grabs me by the waist and kisses me again. Another clap of thunder booms, this one louder than before. We look up, noticing the broken wire from the traffic signal swaying in the wind.

“We should go in,” he says and takes my hand. “That doesn’t look safe.”

“Right.” My fingers go between his. “We have paperwork to fill out.”

Chase puts his arm around me and we hurry to The Book Bag, stopping under the awning in front of the door.

“You bought the store.”

“Yeah,” he says. “I did. But I’m in the market to sell.”

“Why?”

“You’ve already lost so much. I didn’t want you to lose anything else. You deserve a happy ending, even if it’s not with me…I still want to do whatever I can to give it to you.”

“I want it to be with you.”

The wind picks up, blowing rain into our faces. Chase pulls me to him, shielding me from the storm. “I fucked it up, didn’t I?”

“No. Not so much we can’t get past it.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Sierra.” He bends his head down, resting his forehead against mine. His fingers press into my waist.

“I forgive you. It might take me some time to get over it, but I forgive you.”

Chase kisses me again, and I shiver. “Let’s go in.” I nod and he opens the door for me. The bell rings and the calming scent of books surrounds me. Mrs. Williams is sitting behind the counter, smiling.

“That’s one way to thank him,” she says with a wink. “You found one of the good ones, Sierra.”

I turn to Chase, taking in everything about him, flaws, mistakes, and all. “Yeah. I did.”