I stand in front of my dresser, close my eyes, and grab the pull. My fingers tremble and my heart aches distantly in the background. The drawer sticks like it always has, but this time it takes a little extra yank since it hasn’t been opened in so long.

Not able to look just yet, I blindly reach inside, feeling around for the pair of cotton pajama pants hidden beneath old T-shirts. The tag pokes the flesh under my fingernail, and I know I have the right thing. I grab it, keeping my eyes up, and go into the living room where Chase is waiting.

“You can wear these,” I tell him, extending the folded pajama pants.

“Are you sure?” he asks softly, fingers sweeping my wrist as he takes the pants from me. “I can stay in this if it’s—”

“No, you’re soaked from the pool. You need to change.”

He gives me a cheeky grin. “I can get naked.”

The heartache quiets and I smile back. “I approve of that idea.”

“Really though…it’s okay?”

I nod and having him care this much helps. “Yes. Jake never wore them, actually. I do a lot of online shopping since, you know, Summer Hill isn’t exactly filled with tons of stores, and these didn’t arrive until after he died. The tag is still on. You’ll have to pull it off.”

Chase’s eyebrows push together, and I know he’s struggling to find the right thing to say. I don’t even know what I want to hear. Six months after Jake died, my mom, Lisa, and Samantha came over to help me get rid of the rest of Jake’s things. I got mad, screamed at them, and even threw a coffee mug at the wall. Having his things here made it feel like he was going to come home. I could close my eyes at night, after looking in on the open closet and see his things hanging up and pretend he was still away at school.

That he was still alive.

They told me I needed to get rid of his things so I could move on. I kept his favorite shirt, his Dallas Cowboys hoodie that I wore more than he did…and those stupid pants.

“What’s with the cats?” he asks, looking down at the black pants, with multi-colored cats wearing party hats printed all over.

“It was a joke. He always called me a crazy cat-lady.”

Chase just nods then goes into the bathroom to change out of his wet clothes. I shake my head at myself and sink down onto the couch. Tinkerbell jumps up into my lap, immediately purring.

“I make everything awkward,” I tell the tabby. “Should I not talk about Jake? He was part of my life, and it’s not like he’s an ex.” I sigh, rolling my eyes. “Fuck.”

The bathroom door opens, and a few seconds later, Chase comes back into the living room. I was afraid I’d get hit with sadness when I looked at the pants that were meant for another, but right now, my attention goes to the perfect “V” of muscles on his torso and the bulge from his cock moving slightly with each step.

I want Chase. I want to move forward with him. I want to have sex with him again because the sex we had just an hour ago was amazing.

Dolly dashes in front of Chase, darting between his feet. Chase comes to a sudden halt so he won’t step on the cat, and to my surprise, she rubs on him. Chase reaches down and she leans into his touch.

“That cat hates life,” I say, blinking rapidly to make sure I’m seeing things right. “I can hardly pet her half the time.”

Chase picks up Dolly—and she’s fucking purring, that traitor. “No pussy can resist me.”

I laugh, finding him all the more attractive. There’s something hot about a guy who can make you scream in bed and make you laugh.

Dolly growls a second later, and Chase sets her down. “She’s a weird cat.”

“She is. At least she’s pretty.”

Chase sits next to me on the couch, slipping his arm around me. “I need a new book to read.”

“Oh, right. You do. And I have one for you. It’s a romance set in the zombie apocalypse.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“It is. It’s a four-book series, and each book is pretty long. I’m a sucker for long books. I love the way a big, thick spine feels in my hands,” I say coyly, narrowing my eyes before smiling.

“I never thought it was possible to get turned on hearing someone talk about a book before.”

“Speaking of big, thick things…” I run my hand over Chase’s chest and onto his abs, feeling every ridge of muscle beneath my fingers. Chase closes his eyes and leans in, kissing me. Feeling his lips against mine not only turns me on but also makes me happy. Ridiculously happy. I have to stop kissing him because I’m smiling.

“What?” Chase whispers.

“Nothing,” I whisper back, wrapping my arms around him so my hands are in his hair. “I just haven’t felt like this in a long time.”

Chase runs his hands down my back and pulls me tight against his chest. “I’ve never felt like this.” Still holding me, he lays down on the couch, bringing me with so I’m on top of him. I get comfortable, resting my head on his chest. Chase presses a kiss to my forehead. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Sierra, but I don’t want you to stop.”

“I don’t want to either.”

Chase squeezes me in a tight hug, kisses me again, and then falls silent, running his hand up and down my arm. Tinkerbell jumps up, purring loudly, and settles on the pillow above us, kneading her paws into Chase’s hair. We both laugh, and I reach up, petting the big cat.

“Do you go to church?” Chase asks.

“Sometimes, why?”

“My niece is in some choir thing and wants me to watch her tomorrow. I’m not a church person. Too many rules and stipulations.”

“You’re in the wrong state,” I joke. “I was brought up going to church. Sundays are ‘family days,’ and if I’m not in church, I get the disappointed glares from my parents and grandma during dinner. We all go over to my parents for dinner pretty much every Sunday. And by ‘we all’ I mean everyone.”

“Do you have a big family?”

“Maybe? I’m not sure what’s normal or not. My mom’s family is on the small side, I’d say, but they’re all up east so we rarely see them. My dad has two sisters and they both have kids, so I have five cousins.”

“That’s a lot.”

“Is it? And my sister has three kids—two girls and a boy—and then two of my cousins have kids, and another is pregnant right now. My cousins from my dad’s older sister are a lot older than me, like nearly ten years older and live like an hour away. I don’t see them very often. Lisa and I are the youngest.”

“You two have always been close then, right?”

I nod. “My aunt—her mom—and my mom are good friends. And Lisa’s older sister and my sister are friends. That’s just how it is around here.”

“You said you have a brother that lives in Orlando, right?”

“Yeah,” I say, not remembering talking about Scott. “When did I say that?”

The tiniest bit of panic flashes across Chase’s face for just a millisecond. “The other night.”

“Oh, right. And yeah, he’s one of the few Belmonts who got out alive.”

Chase laughs. “Why’d he move?”

“The farm life wasn’t his thing, and he got an engineering job with Disney. He works on building rides and attractions.”

“That’s pretty damn cool.”

“I know! We used to give him hell every holiday to share all the Disney secrets with us, but he never did.”

“I’ve never been to Disney World.”

“We’ve been quite a few times. I love it. Though the last time I went…” I shake my head. The last time I went was Scott’s idea, thinking it would be good for me to get out of Summer Hill and into ‘the real world’ as he put it. I spent a long weekend with him and his then-girlfriend, ping-ponging between emotions. I’d enjoy a ride only to get off and immediately break down crying.

“Maybe I’ll take you someday,” Chase says, pushing a loose strand of hair back and tucking it into my messy braid. “And you can show me around since you’re an expert.”

“I’d like that.”

“And if you wear your Minnie dress again, I’ll dress up like Mickey,” he says with a smile.

“You have no idea how much I’d love that. You don’t happen to have a tight, red V-neck shirt, brown leggings, tall boots, and mustard-yellow leather gloves, do you?”

“Shit, I did, but I left them behind when I moved. I knew I should have kept them. The gloves were well broken-in at this point too. Whose costume is that?”

“Gaston, the bad guy in Beauty and the Beast.”

“You want me to be the bad guy?”

“Fictional villains can be rather sexy.” I laugh, bringing my face down to Chase’s. “I’ll go with you.”

“I’d like that. But where are we going?”

“Church, to watch your niece in the children’s choir. One of my nieces is in it too. Maybe they know—”

Chase kisses me, and my heart skips a beat. “Sorry. I’m failing at resisting you.”

I keep my face close to his so that our noses are touching. “I don’t mind that one bit.”

“What do you wear to church?”

“Most people our age dress rather casual now,” I explain. “The older crowd still puts on ‘church clothes,’ and I usually wear a dress. But I wear dresses because they’re comfortable. You could get away with nice jeans and a button-up shirt. If you want to be safe, wear dress pants with that shirt. No tie needed.”

“Sounds good. I’m not a morning person.”

“I’m not either. If we each set an alarm, we’ll be safe.”

“I’m going to be tempted to hit snooze and stay in bed with you.”

I groan, feeling heat spread inside me. “I can be easily swayed, you know.”

“Nothing about you is easy, Sierra. And I like that.”

I rest my head on his chest again, listening to his slow, steady heartbeat.

“Are you tired?” he asks.

“I should be, but I’m not. You?”

“Same. Even if I was, I’d stay up.”

I close my eyes, feeling my heart swell in my chest. Chase is everything I ever wanted in a man, even before Jake. The things he says, the unapologetic way he lets me know how I make him feel, the way he’s honest with me, his patience and understanding of my harrowed past, how he makes me laugh…

“I think I hear the chupacabras in the distance,” he murmurs.

“I do too.” I sit up, turning to the window. “Sounds like they got a kill. We can go onto the screened-in porch for a better listen if you’d like.”

“I would.”

We move to the back porch, and Chase takes my hand, listening to the coyotes yip and howl for several minutes before moving on, and the chorus of crickets and katydids envelope us in the night.

“It’s so loud yet so relaxing.” Chase turns his gaze from the dark yard to me.

“I love it. I missed it so much when I was at college I’d play those relaxation soundtracks at night so I could sleep.”

“If I was used to it, I’d miss it too.”

I bite my lip, staring into Chase’s eyes. His words echo in my mind, about how he never stays in one place for a long enough time for it to feel like home, and I’m hit with a sudden desperation for him to stay. I hesitate, scared he doesn’t feel as strongly as I do in this moment. I close my eyes, inhale, and slowly let my breath out.

Three…two…one…

“Maybe you will get used to it.”

He steps in, angling his body to mine, and rests his hands on my waist. I hook mine over his shoulders.

“Maybe I will.” He rests his forehead against mine, and everything stands still. He gently kisses me, then breaks away, takes a fistful of my hair and pulls it to the side, moving my head over and exposing my neck right where I like to be kissed. He bites and sucks at my flesh, and a shiver travels through me. I bring my hands down to his hips and he takes them both, bringing them behind my back. Holding my hands hostage with one of his, he plunges the other hand inside my shorts, deft fingers sweeping across my hot center.

I moan, wriggling against him, and try to free my hands. His grip tightens, and he puts his lips back to my mouth, kissing me like his life depends on it. He rubs my clit and my breath hitches as desire winds tighter and tighter inside me. Unable to move my hands and touch him, my need for a release doubles and I’m panting, desperate for more.

Chase circles my clit with his finger before pushing it inside me, making me gasp. He presses against my inner walls again and again, then moves his fingers back to my sensitive clit, making my knees weak. I’m getting wetter by the second, and when my muscles start to contract, Chase releases my hands. I grab onto his shoulders, keeping myself upright as the orgasm runs through me.

Chase doesn’t let up, and it’s almost too much to handle. He hooks his free arm around me, keeping me from falling to the floor. I loudly moan and curl my fingers into his bare flesh, legs trembling. Not giving me a moment to catch my breath, he closes the distance between us, and his hard cock presses into my belly. I groan again, still feeling the effects of the orgasm running rampant in my body.

His arms go around me and he lifts me up, carrying me back a few paces and setting me down next to the hammock.

“Take your pants off,” he instructs, voice deep and full of lust.

My fingers tremble and I look right into Chase’s eyes as I pull down my fabric shorts. I’m not wearing underwear, but Chase already found that out when he finger-fucked me. Still, the sight seems to take him by surprise and I think he’s going to lay me down and have his way with me right now.

Instead, he has me sit on the edge of the hammock and he drops to his knees, putting my legs over his shoulders.

“Lay back,” he orders, and my heart starts hammering away the moment I do. The hammock swings forward, bringing my core to Chase’s face. His tongue lashes against me and I cry out. Twisting the ropes of the hammock in my hands, I lift my head and watch Chase. Minutes later, I toss my head back as I come again, so hard it makes my vision blackout.

This time, Chase settles next to me, gently stroking the inside of my thigh until my heart stops racing and I can breathe again. I twist in the hammock and kiss him. We’re laying sideways on the hammock, with our legs dangling over the edge. I slide my hand down Chase’s stomach, pushing the elastic band of the pajama pants out of the way. I pump his cock in my hand a few times before I move over, straddling him.

Chase keeps his feet planted on the ground and his hands on my waist to steady me as I position his cock under me. We lock eyes as I move down, pushing his hardness into me. Chase lets out a moan, which turns me on all over again. He slides a hand up under my T-shirt, thumb circling my nipple.

I lean forward onto him, trying to fuck him but not flip us over in the hammock at the same time. My movements are more of a grind than a thrust, but I don’t think Chase minds. His breathing quickens and suddenly he picks me up and moves us to the ground, where he lays over top of me and drives his cock in and out of me hard and fast until he comes.

His head drops against mine. Both panting, we lay there for a minute trying to catch our breath. My wind chimes ring out around us as a cool breeze blows through the night.

“That was fun,” I pant, curling my legs up and giving his ass a squeeze.

“I’d do it again.” He gives me a cheeky grin and gets up, grabbing my shorts and tossing them to me. I clean myself up the best I can before I stand. We go inside and into my bedroom. Chase sits on the bed while I use the bathroom, emerging in a new pair of pajamas.

“Now I’m tired,” I say, sitting on the bed next to him.

“Me too.”

“So,” he starts, putting his arm around me. “I came inside you. Twice.”

“Oh, yeah. Um…” I stopped taking birth control after Jake died. There was no point. I’ve never had a regular cycle, and keeping track of when my period is due has fallen to the wayside with everything else going on. But I do know it’s been at least three weeks. I should get it soon. Fuck. I hope so. “I don’t have anything. And the chances or getting pregnant are against us, right?”

Chase gives a grim nod then shrugs. “I don’t think I have anything either. And probably. Just, uh, let me know. I don’t usually do that. There’s something about you that makes me lose control.”

I look at Chase, the man who just fucked me senseless minutes ago, and feel shy. Do I need to ask him to stay the night? Is it a given? We talked about getting up and going to church together, which implies going to sleep and waking up together, right?

“We can go to bed,” Chase says slowly as if he’s reading my mind.

“Do you mind if I shower first?”

“Not at all.”

“Okay, and I have an extra toothbrush if you need it. I’ll leave it out on the sink. The shower and toilet have their own room in the bathroom, so you can come in and brush your teeth.”

“Okay, thanks.”

I get up, wondering if I should have invited Chase to shower with me. We’ve had sex twice, and he’s been up close and personal with every inch of me already. But in the heat of the moment, it’s hot. When I’m naked and shampooing my hair…not so much. I mentally roll my eyes at myself. I need to stop over-thinking.

I brush my teeth then take a quick shower, then get out and towel dry my hair the best I can before getting dressed. Chase is in bed, under the covers, reading the book I had left on my nightstand from a few days ago.

I’m not sure I’ve seen anything hotter in my whole life.

Chase jerks his head up, looking startled, most likely from the sound of my ovaries exploding.

“This is surprisingly good,” he says, closing the book.

“It’s very dirty.” I throw back the covers and get in bed next to him. My heart skips a beat and nerves tingles down my spine. I’ve spent the night with Chase before, just never in this sense.

Deliberate.

“Now I’m even more intrigued.”

“Quinn Harlow is one of my favorite authors.”

Chase puts the book down and turns off the light. He takes me by the waist and pulls me close, then spoons his body around mine. Physically, I’m exhausted. I haven’t had that many orgasms in one day in, well, ever. I haven’t gotten much sleep the last few days and my body longs for it, but my mind won’t shut off, though tonight, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Because after over a year of living in the dark, I’m finally starting to see the light. And the sunshine on my face feels so damn good.

* * *

“You’re still getting ready?”

I turn away from the mirror, hair wrapped around my curling iron, and almost burn my forehead. I blink. Once. Twice. Three times.

“Not everyone can just throw on a suit and look as good as you,” I finally muster, still taking in the sight of Chase. His button-down shirt is tucked into gray dress pants, belted around his trim waist. His normally messy hair is neat and right now he really could pass for that mega-rich CEO he pretended to be the first time we met. The transformation from rugged bad boy to sexy-man-in-a-suit is making my brain turn into mush.

“You’d look good in anything,” he tells me, crossing his arms and leaning on the doorway to the bathroom. He got up this morning and went home to shower and change before church.

I pull the hot iron from my hair and smile at his reflection. “Thanks, but I think we have to agree to disagree.”

He raises his eyebrows and crosses the room, stopping behind me with his arms wrapping around my waist. His lips find my neck and I close my eyes, leaning into him. And then I feel the heat of my curling iron not a moment too soon, and jerk it away from my arm at the last second.

“You’re distracting,” I murmur.

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” He slides his hands down my thighs and inches my skirt up.

“It’s not.” I set the curling iron down inside the sink and hold onto Chase’s arms. “What time is it?”

He looks over me and down at his wrist. “Seven thirty-two.”

“Shit.” I’m nowhere near ready and I still have to feed Marley.

“I’m going to take that as you need me to stop distracting you.”

“Yeah,” I groan, not wanting him to step away. “We don’t want to be late. Walking in late is worse than not going to church. If you’re not there, you have the chance of the whole ‘out of sight out of mind’ thing and people might not notice. But if you walk in late, everyone sees you.”

“Makes sense.” Chase shakes his head. “This town is weird.”

“It is. Which is probably why I like it. I fit in.”

“You do fit in, but you’re not like some of the others.”

“What do you mean?” I wrap another section of hair around my curling iron.

“You’re not judgmental.”

I meet Chase’s eyes via his reflection in the mirror. “I’m the worst. I judge everyone and I judge hard. I just don’t say anything.”

Chase laughs. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

I smile back at him and quickly curl the rest of my hair, and then we rush out of the door, swing by my parents’ to feed Marley, and then speed to church.

“If lightning strikes me, you’re going down with me,” Chase says, looking at my hand in his as we walk through the parking lot.

I laugh and shake my head. “You’re not going to get smote. Smited? Smoted? Whatever. The worse thing that’s going to happen today is a lot of questions and a little bit of gossip.”

“People gossip at church?”

“All the damn time.”

“I don’t feel as bad about not going to church now.”

We make it halfway through the parking lot before someone stops us, asking how I’ve been and who Chase is. The same thing happens three more times before we make it into the chapel, and I swear I can feel eyes on us the entire mass. Being the subject of gossip and stares is nothing new to me. I’m well aware that being born a Belmont makes me interesting—to the people of Summer Hill at least. But today it’s bothering me. Are people thinking it’s too soon for me to be with another man? Jake’s been gone for a year and a half. When is it socially okay to get on with my life?

And more importantly, why do I care?

Chase and I take a seat in the back minutes before the service starts. Lisa and Rob come in not long after we do, and slip into the pew next to us. Rob is in his uniform and is either on the clock or going to work right after this. Most of the town, including its police officers, attend church on Sunday morning. It never dawned on me until right now that this is the perfect time to commit a crime.

Chase and I walk out of church hand in hand, and his brother waves him over as we get to Chase’s car. Lisa is fast approaching, so Chase goes over to see Josh while I wait by the Mustang for my cousin.

“This is Chase’s car?” Lisa asks incredulously.

“It is. You seem surprised.”

She purses her lips and looks from the car to Chase. “What did he do before he moved here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s never come up.”

“Interesting.”

“Why is it interesting?” I ask.

“Because I know how much a car like this costs, and the fact that he’s wearing a designer suit and an expensive watch makes me wonder what the hell he used to do.”

“His suit is designer?”

“Yes. I might have taken a minute or two to check out his ass and saw the label. His ass is very fine, but I’m sure you’re aware.”

“It is,” I say and force a smile. I have asked Chase about his previous line of work, and he’s declined to comment. In fact, he told me it was a long story. My mind races and I can’t come up with anything rational. He said he moved around a lot. He could be a traveling nurse for all I know.

“So,” Lisa goes on. “You guys came together. Does that mean you spent the night together?”

That brings a smile to my face. “Yes. And before you ask, yes. Twice and it was fan-fucking-tastic.”

Lisa beams. “I’m honestly feeling a tad jealous you got to hit that.”

I laugh at her and turn my head to look at Chase. He’s crouched down, smiling as he talks to his niece.

“And everything went okay?” Lisa asks, and she doesn’t have to explain for me to know she meant emotionally, not physically.

“Yeah. It felt right, and we were very much caught up in the moment both times. He’s easy to be around, as lame as that sounds. We haven’t known each other long, but it’s like I can just relax and be myself around him. It’s hard, sometimes, not to compare him to…to Jake though.”

“I bet that’s normal.”

I nod. “Yeah. It’s a little weird. It’s not like we broke up and I have negative feelings toward him. It’d be easier if that were the case. Chase has been really understanding. I think that’s the biggest part of why this feels so right.”

“Is this more than just a fling?”

“I think so. It feels like it’s more.” I shake my head. “If it doesn’t come up, I’ll ask him.”

“No, you won’t,” Lisa says point-blank, raising an eyebrow.

“Fine. I probably won’t because that’s one awkward conversation waiting to happen. But…” I trail off and look back at Chase. “I think he feels it too. He’s coming back over today. We don’t have plans other than to lounge around until dinner.”

“Fucking, you mean.”

“Oh, for sure. I probably want it just as bad as he does.”

Lisa laughs. “He’s into you. More so than a fling. I can tell by the way he looks at you.”

I can’t hide my smile. “Good,” I say shortly, not comfortable with gushing over Chase like a teenage girl.

“Are you bringing him to family dinner tonight?”

“No, not yet. Mostly for his sake, though. Having your sister, my sister, and all of our parents in one room is overwhelming even when you’re part of the family.”

“That is the truest thing you can say about our family.”

* * *

“How was your date?” Mom asks as soon as I’m through the door that evening. They just got back into town a few hours ago, but since my mom doesn’t actually do the cooking—or the setting of the table, or the cleaning up after dinner—having us all over for dinner isn’t an issue.

“You went on a date?” Sam asks, turning around so fast she almost bumps into me.

“Didn’t you see them together at church this morning?” Vanessa, Lisa’s older sister asks, handing off her sleeping toddler to her husband. “I thought Lisa said you went out with that Henson guy.”

“That is him,” I tell her.

Vanessa makes a face of surprise. “Really? He looked so…so…”

“Not like a Henson?” Lisa supplies and her sister agrees. “You’re such an asshole, Nessa.”

“Lisa,” Gran scolds, voice coming from across the foyer. I swear she has better hearing than I do. I take off my shoes and take my phone from my purse before the housekeeper takes it to hang up. I look through the sea of my family members for my mother, whose hair and makeup are perfectly done. You’d never guess she stepped off a plane hours ago. Her eyes, more blue than green like mine, sparkle and she’s trying not to smile. My mother might be ridiculously posh at times, concerning herself with more than what others think than with what’s going on in the world, but I know she cares.

“It was fine,” I say simply, but my smile gives it away.