Chapter Three
Ellie
“Miss Hawthorne?” I hear the fragile voice of Maggie, our housekeeper and former nanny, through the door.
“Come in.” I sit up in bed, waiting for her to come in and bring me my hot tea. “You can set it down over there.” I throw the covers off and pad over to the dresser to tie my hair up.
“I’m sorry, Eloise.”
Here we go again. She is using the same sad tone Malcolm used on me.
“I didn’t bring tea this morning. Your father is requesting your presence downstairs,” she says, her eyes watering. “Eloise, my dear.” Maggie takes a couple steps toward me, tucking a loose hair behind my ear. “He knows. He knows about the gigs. He knows you haven’t been at school and you have been staying down the road with the Bowens.” She shakes her head, before dropping her hand. “Sweetie, he knows you dropped out of school.”
“Shit!”
“Maggie, I thought I told you to send Eloise down.” My father’s voice echoes down the hall.
“Eloise, sweetie, this is it. Now is your time. Prove them wrong.
Prove them all wrong,” she whispers before she heads out. “She’s coming!”
“The hell she is,” he says angrily as he barges into the room. “Maggie, you may leave.”
“Father, I-I can explain.” I reach for my robe, slide it on and tie the belt, trying to occupy myself so I won’t have to look my father in the eyes. “I couldn’t do it and honestly why would you want me to keep on going, wasting your money like that.”
“We made a deal. You finish this semester and we would discuss your future.” He moves to stand in front of the window, pushing the curtains back and gazing outside. “One month. You only had one goddamn month. Was that so hard?”
“I was losing who I am. I was suffocating,” I plead.
“Don’t give me that shit. Now you are sounding like a spoiled little rich girl.” He tries to yank the curtains closed but pulls the rod down instead. “Fuck!”
“Daddy—”
“Father,” he spits out.
“Father, I know I told you I was going back to school after that night at Java Talk, but I couldn’t. I really did try, but I couldn’t.”
“I’m not going to lose you to that life. I love you too much.” He plops down on the bed, hands on his knees, a look of defeat present. It’s a look I have rarely seen on his face.
“Daddy, you won’t lose me. I promise.” I move to stand beside him, placing my hand on his shoulder. “I just want to do what I love.”
Raising his head, he just looks at me. The look of defeat gone, his fight back. “Love?” He takes his hand and flings mine away, standing up
so quickly I almost fall back. “Little girl, this is reality and I’m afraid that your mom and I have catered to you for so long that you have become delusional.”
“Daddy?”
“Eloise, this is your last warning. Address me as Father.” He storms past me and into the walk-in closet, and comes back out with a small, carry-on suitcase. “You want to live this life? Make a living playing bars and coffee shops?” He throws the suitcase on the bed. “Everything you have I have provided it for you. So, I like to think I’m being pretty generous by letting you take this.” He nods to the suitcase and continues. “Whatever you can fit in there, you can have.”
“Father?”
“You want that life? No questions asked? You can have it, but you will not have our support.” He turns and walks out.
“Father?” I run to the door and call after him. “This isn’t what I want.”
“You should have thought about that before you dropped out of school.” He doesn’t look back as he takes the stairs one by one. “You have thirty minutes.”
Thirty minutes.
“You got this,” I say to myself, wiping away the tears that threaten to spill over.
I’m suddenly thankful for those sleepless nights where I fell through the Facebook rabbit hole of video tutorials; I know how to pack for thirty days in a tiny carry-on.
Looking down at my phone, I mentally jot down a list.
Pack.
Shower.
Get dressed.
Get my guitar
Head to Nashville.
Five little tasks and not quite thirty minutes is all that’s between me and making my dream a reality.
Bring it!
This isn’t what I wanted or how I intended for this moment to go. I would have never dropped out of college if they would have opened their eyes and seen that I never belonged there in the first place.
I just wanted what everyone else wants: approval and support from two loving parents. What I received was a short leash and a list of demands and expectations.
Now I’m standing by the door, bags in hand, waiting for someone to come and stop me. They don’t.
As I open the door, I blindly reach for my keys on the entry table.
“Are you looking for these?” My father’s voice grabs my attention.
“If those are my keys, then yes,” I snap as I turn around and see him standing with my keys dangling from his index finger.
“You mean my keys.” He removes the Bob Dylan guitar pick my mother gave me with my guitar. A little secret we kept between us.
“Hey! That’s mine.” My eyes go wide at the thought of him just throwing the pick away. That little pick was the only support I have ever received from my mother, Anna Hawthorne. The one-time
singer/songwriter. That is, until my father gave her an ultimatum.
“This little thing.” He holds it up, examining it. “You can have it.” He tosses it at my feet. “But these.” He holds up the keys I have called mine since I graduated. “Are mine.” He smirks as he tucks them in his perfectly pressed pants pocket.
“It was a graduation gift.”
“My name is on the title.” He strides toward me, hands still in his pockets while he looks me over, his silent judgment making me feel dirty. “You see…” He tilts his head to the side and crosses his arms, bringing a hand to his chin as he makes his statement. Because with my father, Nathaniel Joseph Hawthorne, every word is carefully thought out. “If you would have paid attention in your business classes, you would have learned all about assets, and how it’s important to have them.” He nods, trying to sell me on his statement, a move I have seen him do a hundred times in the courtroom.
My father is the most sought-after attorney in the Midwest. The problem with this whole screwed up little scene though is I’m not the judge nor the jury. I’m his freakin’ daughter for crying out loud.
“You know what? I don’t need the car. It’s only a material possession, apparently one you own.” I take a couple steps backward. The door is still open behind me. A few more feet and I’ll be out of this prison for good.
“Nate, you can’t just let her go out there with no means of transportation.” My mother walks up behind him with a towel draped around her neck. Probably from morning yoga.
“If this is the life she wants to live, then let her do it.” He wraps his arm around her and my mother leans, looking up at him.
“Nate,” she pleads before she looks back to me.
“Mother, it’s fine. I have a plan. Please don’t worry about me.” I turn to leave.
“And what’s that exactly?” My father reaches past me and slams the door, blocking me in.
Dropping my bags, I begin to unleash everything I have ever wanted to say. The verbal vomit spews from my mouth.
“You know what? Contrary to what you think. I’m perfectly capable of making it on my own. I just haven’t wanted to, but what did I want? My parents’ support. Their love. Their acceptance.” I look between my mother and father. “I wanted you to see the talent that Mom saw. You know, the same talent that she possesses.”
“Eloise!” my mother gasps.
“You think you are so smart. You think you are capable of leaving here and making it on your own?” My dad reaches down, grabbing my designer handbag. “Let’s see you try. It doesn’t matter what talents you think you possess. You don’t have what it takes to make this your business. To create a life.” He opens my bag, taking out my wallet.
“Hey! That’s mine.” I reach for it, but he jerks away and takes out all my cards and the cash I had saved up.
“Correction. These cards were for your living expenses while you were in school.” He counts the cash. “And this, I’m pretty sure, is from
the bank account we provide for you.”
“Nate.” My mother is quickly beside him, placing a hand on his wrist, begging. “You can’t send her out in this world without anything. She’s our daughter.”
At that, he throws his head back and laughs. “That is where you are mistaken, Anna. No daughter of mine would be so stupid.”
“Nate!” She releases his wrist and comes to stand beside me.
Too late, Mother.
“Now we are getting somewhere. You see…” I can’t stop what is about to come out of my mouth. A confession my mother entrusted to me. I know the truth, but I’m not sure if he does. “Maybe I’m not your daughter and that is what scares you. Keeping me locked up so you won’t have to face the reality of your past.” I walk over and pluck a couple hundred-dollar bills from his hand. “You can have the car and you can have the money because I don’t want anything that has to do with you.” I hold up the cash as I grab my things with the other hand. “And this is mine, from doing what I love. What I was born to do. No thanks to you!”
I storm out of the house, tears streaming down my face. My mother screams after me, but my father holds her back. In this moment, I should be worried about where I’m going to go or what I’m going to do. Instead I hold my head high because I know, in my heart of hearts, that I was born to be heard and today, I raised my voice!
This is only the beginning of Ellie Thorne!