Chapter Six
Lee
Why?
It’s a question I ask myself daily. How can someone with so much more life to live forget how to live it?
Forget her past?
Forget me?
I thought I had more time to figure things out. To get the resources together to place her in a home that would be able to care for her. Instead of listening to the doctor, I held on to hope.
I thought if the good moments outweighed the bad, we were fine. We would go days, sometimes months, without having an episode, making it easy to wait one more day.
Then one day became two, and two became a month, and a month became three years.
Three years since Grans had been diagnosed and we were surviving.
Until now.
In the beginning I didn’t understand. I thought if we had a neighbor check in on her daily, we would be fine
I was wrong.
I thought if I held on to the good moments and forgot the bad, that we could prepare not only mentally, but financially. I wasn’t ready to make the arrangements that I’m being informed I need to make. Now, I pull into the only home I have ever known to a driveway of first responders.
“Dammit!” I shout, slamming my palm against the steering wheel.
They’re here because of me. Because of my neglect. I assumed that she would be with me forever.
I need her to be.
Coming to a stop, I put my truck in park and hop out. I’m running to the house when I hear Katie, a retired teacher and our neighbor, shout. “Lee! Over here!”
I jog over to the ambulance where Katie is sitting in back, holding Grans’ hand as they check her out. I can’t help but worry. Will she know me?
When she was first diagnosed, I did a little bit of research before I slammed my laptop shut and pushed it to the back of my mind. Grans is strong, alert and young. There is no way this will happen to her.
But it has.
Is there a way I could have prolonged this if I dug deeper? Maybe I could have found a research study to put her in, or a clinical trial? By ignoring it, did I make it come faster? Is this my fault?
“Grans?” I whisper her name, knowing she can’t hear me.
“Lee, she’s fine.” Katie reaches with her other hand to take mine and continues in her “teacher voice.” “She was boiling chicken to make dumplings, then laid down for a nap.”
“Are you Lee Scott?” The fire chief walks up to me, notepad in
hand.
“Yes, sir.”
“Your neighbor here,” he tilts his head in Katie’s direction, “filled me in on your grandmother’s situation.”
“How bad is it?” I interrupt, asking him a loaded question.
“Well, she’s lucky you had Katie here checking in. Apparently when she went to boil the chicken she failed to fill the pot with water, causing the chicken to eventually catch fire. Katie was able to get your grandmother, who was pretty disoriented, out of the house before she called nine-one-one and went back in with an extinguisher.”
“Katie?” I look up and examine her face, giving her hand a squeeze. I need for her to tell me Grans was just tired, that she didn’t forget what she was doing or where she was at.
“I don’t know, Lee,” Katie responds. “But she fell when I was trying to get her out of the house and hit her head on the corner of the nightstand.”
“Oh God.” I throw my head back, closing my eyes, inhaling the evening air. I try to push back the fear of what could have happened.
“Son, this is not your fault. It was one hundred percent accidental.” The fire chief clasps my shoulder. “You have maybe a couple thousand dollars in smoke and fire damages, but lives weren’t lost. You got to hold on to that.”
“Thank you, sir.” I release Katie’s hand and extend it to the chief. “For all your help.”
“It’s what we’re here for.” He gives me a firm shake and heads back to his crew.
“Mr. Scott?” the EMT calls out, drawing my attention back to Grans.
“How is she?”
“Honestly, she gave us a hard time when we first got here, but once we got the IV in she relaxed and fell asleep.”
“I’m NOT asleep.” Grans pops open an eye. “I was simply resting my eyes.”
“Mrs. Scott, in other words, passed out when she saw the needle, but given the fall, we want to have her checked out.” The EMT is smirking at Grams.
“The hell if you are!” she shouts, sitting up.
“Grans, please lay back down,” I plead.
“Whoa.” Gran begins to lower herself back down. “Lee, you really shouldn’t spin around like that.”
“I’m not.”
“Okay, twirling. Why are you twirling?” She chuckles.
“I’m not twirling either.” I’m irritated.
“Maybe you should.” She taps her IV. “Hit me big boy.”
“You gave her morphine?” I pull myself up into the truck then help Katie get down.
“No, but I told her I was since that was the only way she was going to allow me to get close with a needle. She needed fluids,” he says defensively.
“I live with her. Trust me, I get it.” I let out a much-needed laugh.
“We are going to take her to the hospital to get her head checked out. You riding along?” He jumps out, and his partner climbs in.
“Yeah.” I holler out to Katie, “You around later?”
“Whatever you need, Lee. You got my number. Call and I’ll come up.” Katie gives me a weak smile.
“Wait! I need Biscuit!” Grans tries to push herself up, but the EMT beside me settles her down.
“We can get you something to eat when we get there. After the doctor checks you over.” He winks.
But I know she’s not talking about food. Biscuit was the Yorkshire Terrier my grandfather gave her. Her baby. The problem? He died two years ago.
“Grans, Biscuit…” I swallow the word I dread to say. “Died.”
“Presley Aaron Scott!” She uses my full name as a curse. The name I have tried for so long to forget. “I may be getting old, but I’m not senile.”
“But you asked for—”
“My pillow?” She stares at me wide-eyed like I’m the idiot, and right now, I feel like one. “The one with a picture of Biscuit on it.” She rolls her eyes at me, something she has been doing more frequently. “Don’t tell me you thought…” She examines my face. “Presley, you’re telling your grans that you thought…” She shakes her head. “You did! I just need it to sleep. The pillow. Not my dead dog.”
Thank God.
Each time she forgets something, I cringe knowing what’s to come.
Obsession.
Is it normal? Is it the disease? Is it my imagination?
“Presley? Your grans needs Biscuit,” she begs.
“Guys, can you give me two minutes? This pillow…it’s
sentimental,” I plead.
“Sure thing,” they both agree.
Jumping down from the ambulance, I hurry into the house. On the way back my phone begins to vibrate in my back pocket. I pull it out and see it’s Drew.
Crap!
So much for the promotion. Between me and Justin we had the site almost prepared for the landscapers, but then I got the call from Katie about the fire.
I left Justin with strict orders and tried to call Drew, but he didn’t answer. I had no choice but to leave him a quick voicemail about what is going on, hoping that he understood.
Being on the phone with Drew while riding in back of an ambulance with Grans…what to do? It’s a no-brainer. After sending him to voicemail, I shoot him a quick text saying that everyone is fine, and I’ll fill him in tomorrow.
This is beyond my control. If I lose a promotion or hell, even my job, over this, then I do. Reaching the truck, I hop up and the EMT shuts the doors one at a time.
“Is this what prison feels like?” Grans wonders.
“I wouldn’t know.”
“How about you?” She nods to the EMT sitting next to me. “You have all those markings all over your body. You been to the slammer?”
“Grans!” I reprimand.
“What? I was watching this show—”
“Forgive her.” I cut Grans off before she can tell us about some show she saw on the ID Channel.
“I guess you really should have given me morphine.” She winks to the poor guy. “That’s it!” Her eyes light. “You were a drug dealer or wait, maybe you were a supplier? They all have those things.” She points to his arm.
“Apparently, I’m your drug dealer.” He winks, making Grans smile.
“Not yet.” She winks back.
“Am I in the twilight zone?” I bring my hands up and rub my face, trying anything to rid myself of the memories of today. I feel the phone vibrate and when I pull it from my pocket I see I have a text from Drew.
Drew: No worries. Family first.
Four words is all it takes to ease my mind. I still have a job. Whether or not I get the promotion…I can’t let that bother me. Right now, all my free time will be going to finding a place for Grans when the time comes.
I’m going to check into home health care. What happened today will not happen again.
Losing more time with Grans is not an option.