Chapter 16
Laiken
My body ached in all the most pleasant of ways. I woke up several times last night, and all to the most familiar sound in the world. Jace was breathing in my ear. Down my neck. His arms were hooked around my waist as my leg slithered between his. It was like our bodies sought one another out during the night. Sought out positions to help us become even closer than we already had been. And every time I woke up with his scent underneath my nose, I fell back asleep with a smile on my face.
But when I opened my eyes to greet the morning rays of the sun, Jace was no longer in bed.
“Jace?” I asked.
At first, I didn’t recognize where I was. My eyes were clouded with sleep, and the walls looked darker than I remembered. I pushed myself up in bed and started panning around the room, trying to get my bearings straight while my body cried out for caffeine. Had it not been for Jace’s musky scent still swirling around my head, I would’ve thought I was somewhere else entirely.
Jace’s room looked different now that I’d had a chance to look at it.
The walls were a darker color than I remembered. It used to be filled with pictures and posters, but now the walls were bare. There were curtains on the window that barely let in any light, and the bed was much bigger than I remembered. But it was the bathroom door that caught my attention.
It was the bathroom door that brought back a distinct memory.
It was the first time Jace had ever fucked me against a surface that hadn’t been his bed. He picked me up, and I whispered to him to put me down. I had clung to him, thinking that he was going to drop me or hurt me in some way. And because I had been struggling so badly, we ended up splintering the middle part of his bathroom door.
Wrapping his bed sheet around me, I walked over to the door. I ran my hand along the roughly-patched door, smiling as the memories of last night came flooding back to my mind. The way Jace’s rippling body pressed into mine. The way his hands tangled in my hair. The salted sweetness of the cum dripping from his cock. The way my tongue had been so eager to taste him.
My nipples were standing at attention again just thinking about it.
But where the hell was he? Why wasn’t he here with me? I knew he’d been here all night, so where the fuck was he now? I pushed my way into his bathroom and looked around for him, checking the shower and even looking in the damn closet.
But it wasn’t until the smell of toast and bacon hit my nostrils that I understood where he was.
I cleaned myself up at his sink before I made my way downstairs. I picked up my clothes along the way, pulling them on as I made my way to the kitchen. I dropped his sheet to the floor as I ran my hands through my hair, trying to make myself look a little more presentable.
But it was his half-naked form that stopped me in my tracks.
He was standing at the stove in the kitchen, cooking up some breakfast for us both. He had on his jeans from last night, but they were dangerously low on his body. His torso was completely bared to me, calling out for my hands as I approached him cautiously. I could see the kissable dimples just above his tight ass before my eyes raked up his strong back. It was like every muscle in his body stood at their peaks for me. I could see every ridge and trace my fingers along every divot. The muscles in his arms were expanding and contracting as he cooked, causing me to salivate as his strength was showcased for me.
I sat down on a bar stool at the kitchen island and waited. I could tell Jace was tense. Debating on whether or not he should speak up. He kept moving his body and pausing, moving his body and pausing. It was like he would talk himself into something, then second-guess himself before he could execute it.
And I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t know what to think about any of this, either. On the one hand, I wanted us to go back to the way things were. Before the lying became chronic and before he threw me out of his home. There were so many confusing aspects of this. So many things that were still out of place and unaddressed. Even if I wanted him back. Even if I was willing to forgive him for what happened between us, I didn’t know if I could trust him.
I didn’t know if I could ever trust him again.
I waited for Jace to provide an opening to talk. A grunt or an acknowledgment. A ‘good morning’ or a ‘how did you sleep.’ Anything to show me he wanted some sort of communication prompted between the two of us after all the fuckery that traversed last night. But the opening never came, and I was back to doing what I did for most of our relationship.
I was back to taking the reins on positive, honest communication.
“Last night was fun,” I said.
“I enjoyed it,” Jace said.
“But you know it doesn’t mean anything.”
That was when he turned around, carrying the pan of bacon along with him. I continued to talk quickly so that he would let me finish my thoughts.
“Just because we fucked around doesn’t mean I can forgive you for how you treated me that night,” I said. “That’s… some hard shit to forget. And I can’t. I can’t allow myself to.”
“I understand,” he said, sighing.
“Do you?” I asked.
“Yes. I do, Laiken,” he said. “And I want to explain things. You think I don’t, but I do. I just… don’t know how right now.”
“Are you serious?” I asked. “We fucked one time-”
“Two times,” he said.
“Two times over the course of one night, and you’re already keeping secrets?” I asked.
“It’s not a secret. I mean it is, but now you know there is.”
“I knew there was from the beginn-... Jace? Do you even know why I’m fucking angry with you?”
“You’re still angry with me?” he asked, grinning. “Because I could’ve sworn with the way you were holding me last night that we had made some progress.”
“See, this is why women don’t fuck around with men like you. You think your cock can heal shit like grabbing my arm and tossing me out onto a concrete fucking porch.”
I watched the smirk fall from his face before he set the sizzling bacon on the counter.
“Hungry?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said.
“Want some toast?”
“Sure. Got any butter?”
“I want to tell you,” he said as he grabbed the butter dish, “but it’s hard.”
“Letting someone into your life isn’t supposed to be easy,” I said.
“I never said anything about letting you in anywhere. I was only talking about explaining the lies I told you while we were dating.”
“At least you admit they were lies,” I said, murmuring.
“Laiken, there’s a good reason, I promise.”
“What is with you and all the secrets?” I asked. “Are you part of some super-secret CIA black ops team or some shit?”
“Depends. How sexy is that to you?” A slow smirk spread across his beautiful face.
Even though I didn’t want to, I grinned. No matter how angry I got with Jace, he always had this way of breaking down my exterior. That was one of the reasons why I hid myself from him. When we ended, I was three weeks away from graduation. I cashed in my sick days, finished up my work, and only came in to take my final exams. I skipped out on walking with my classmates altogether and opted for them to mail me my diploma. I was on the road to Los Angeles the morning of my graduation, and I didn’t look back. I knew if I did, I would go looking for him. And I knew that if I found him, he would talk me into staying.
Between him grabbing me the way he did and my mother spiraling into endless oblivion, I knew I couldn’t stay.
It would’ve eaten me alive had I stayed.
“This isn’t funny,” I said. “This is serious.”
“I know it is. And trust me, when I can find a way to tell you what’s going on that protects you in the process, you’ll realize how serious I was, too. How serious I still am.”
“Protect me? Do you know who you’re talking to?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said as he looked straight at me. “I do.”
His gaze was stern and unwavering. Usually, I found solace in his eyes. Comfort when I needed it most and understood when I least expected it. But this time his eyes were angry. Silently dripping with a warning call. They were buzzing with unspoken words and fiery fears, and my stomach dropped to my toes as I took a bite of my bacon.
What had Jace gotten himself into?
“Jace? Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yep,” he said.
“Jace, you’re lying to me. What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Laiken. For once in your damn life, I need you to drop it,” he said.
I was about to strike up another fight with him before I heard my phone ringing out. I felt around in my pockets for it, but it wasn’t there. Looking around, I was about to hop off my chair before my phone was slid across the kitchen island and right into my lap.
“I put my number in it. You know, just in case,” Jace said.
“In case… what? I needed the help of a man I don’t trust?” I asked.
He turned his back to me quickly, and I knew my words had stung.
“Officer Riley.” I jumped down from the stool and walked into the other room to take the call. I looked back and saw Jace staring at me, his gaze hard on my body. I furrowed my brow at him and shooed him away, forcing him to turn back around to tend to whatever the hell it was he was cooking now. My work conversations were nothing he needed to be privy to.
Especially if he was still fucking keeping secrets.
My captain told me to get my ass into work, so I hung up the phone and sighed. I walked to the front door and grabbed my bra from the floor, shoving it into the waist of my jeans.
“I need to go home, Jace,” I said. “Got called into work.”
“Officer Riley,” he said.
“That’s me.” I looked up into his eyes as he grabbed his leather jacket, his stare hardened and his gaze curious.
“Congratulations,” Jace said.
“Just get me home,” I said.