Chapter 25
Rena
Today was the day. I was going to meet the sister I hadn’t even known I had until about two weeks ago. This was crazy. It was a stupid idea, a mistake. I should turn around and go home.
But it was too late now. I was headed to the bistro where I was going to meet Morgan and Zoe. Standing them up now wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t take away my curiosity about a life that could have run parallel to mine, about a woman who was related to me, whether I knew about her or not.
If I didn’t go now, I would never know the answers to all the questions I had, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to live without that knowledge.
My stomach was bunched into a fist of nerves. I felt like I was going to throw up. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was nervous or if it was morning sickness. There was a possibility it was both.
I had thrown up again this morning. I hadn’t even gotten around to eating yet before my stomach had thrown all its contents out. I had only had a cup of coffee, and it had set everything off.
When I arrived at the bistro, Morgan and Zoe were already there. I walked up to them, recognizing them right away. Morgan’s face was familiar because I had seen her once before. Zoe’s face was familiar because it was the face I had been looking at in the mirror every day of my life. She looked almost exactly like me. It was unsettling.
No wonder Morgan had known who I was the moment I had stepped into Dunkin’ Donuts when we’d met last week.
When the two women spotted me, they both stood up. Morgan introduced Zoe to me. My sister held out her hand to me, and I took it. We sat down at the table. They each ordered coffee, but I was scared I wouldn’t be able to stomach it, so I asked for a glass of water.
“Thank you so much for agreeing to meet me,” Zoe said. “I know this must have come as quite a shock. I struggled to wrap my mind around it when I first found out, too.”
I nodded, studying Zoe. Her hair was also a light brown, but hers was long and she had bangs. Her nails were long and manicured, where I always wore mine short and sensible. She looked like she had stepped off the cover of a magazine. She looked like the “after” photo where I would be the “before” photo of a glamorous makeover. But I didn’t feel threatened by her. I was aware of how different we were, but the longer I studied her, watched her expressions and mannerisms and the way she talked, the more I realized how similar we were.
We hadn’t grown up side by side the way we should have, but despite our different upbringings, and most likely different beliefs, morals, routines, and all the rest of it, we were almost exactly the same. It was strange.
“What do you do?” I asked after we had made small talk for a while. I didn’t know what to ask her. How did you go about getting to know someone from scratch? How did you make up for twenty-three years?
“I don’t have a career if that’s what you mean. My husband, Chris, is an inventor. He goes to the office every day, but I stay home and take care of local charities. I’m involved with the school, and I like to draw the other mothers into groups where we do activities to socialize.”
Zoe sounded like she belonged on those television shows where they follow the lives of the rich and famous. She explained how Chris had developed a simple household item that they had patented and made a lot of money from. It explained why she wasn’t working or anything.
She told me about her daughters. “They’re twins,” she said. “They’re only eight months now. It’s a handful. It was thanks to my pregnancy that all of this came about,” Zoe said. “We had to test for certain diseases, and my family history was a question. I had a difficult pregnancy, you see. So I did a little digging to find my birth parents, for the sake of my children. And then I found you. It made sense why I had twins, knowing that we were triplets.”
I nodded, understanding it now. It was bizarre that this had happened, but in a way it was exciting. It was like discovering a new world, getting to know my sister and the life she’d led.
“What about you?” Zoe asked. “Husband, kids?”
My stomach turned when she asked.
“No,” I said. “I was involved with someone for a short while, but I don’t see it working out. We’re in a rough patch.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
I shrugged. “What should happen, will. Look at us meeting as an example.”
Zoe nodded. I told her about my job at the office, my degree, where I’d started, and how it had turned out. I left out the part where I had slept with my boss, fallen pregnant, and how I was going to quit my job. No one needed to know that. Especially not Zoe, who was so polished and sophisticated.
“Tell me about your parents,” I said. “What was your life like, growing up?”
Zoe smiled. “My parents were both great to me, growing up. I grew up with two siblings. We’re all adopted. My parents were foster parents, but they decided to legally adopt us and get out of the system. My dad died of cancer a few years ago, but I’m still very close with my mom.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I hesitated. “How did your mom feel about you finding your birth family and meeting me?”
Zoe shrugged. “She wasn’t very happy with the idea, but she understood why I needed to do it. And she’s curious about you. They all are. If we keep in contact, they would love to meet you.”
It was a bit much for me to take in. Zoe seemed to know how I was feeling.
“You don’t have to meet anyone if you don’t feel comfortable with it,” she said. “But I’m so glad you agreed to meet me.”
I nodded. “I’m happy, too.” And I was. I hadn’t known what to expect. I had wanted to turn around and run away. I had been terrified it was all a big mistake. But now that I was here, talking to my sister, getting to know her and sharing my life with her as well, I was glad I had pushed through and taken this step.
And I had done it all alone. Brent had been with me to meet Morgan. I had hoped I could ask him to come with me to meet Zoe, but after how I had kicked him out of my house, I doubted he would want to be there for me. I had treated him wrongly even though nothing that had happened had been his fault. He had only been trying to help.
But I had my reasons for pushing him away, which were still valid. So, I would go through this alone. I had been alone my whole life. I knew how to do it on my own.
A part of me was jealous that Zoe had grown up with siblings. Two of them. She had had the siblings we were supposed to have had, even though they weren’t her siblings by blood. I had grown up alone. I didn’t know how I felt about everything. I would need to think about it a bit more, but I knew I didn’t feel amazing about everything.
Zoe and I talked more. We talked about her dreams and goals and hobbies. We talked about what schools we had attended. We laughed about how things had been so similar for us, even though we had never known about each other. It was because we were twins, of course. Or rather, because we had been part of a trio.
When we spoke about the third sister that hadn’t made it, we both fell quiet for a moment. What would it have been like if we had had her here, too? How would it have been different? We would never know, but I didn’t want either of us to forget that there had been a third sister. Even if we had only known about her for a very short time.
“We should do this again,” Zoe said when it was time to leave. “I really enjoyed spending time with you.”
“I enjoyed it, too,” I agreed. We exchanged contact details and agreed that we would arrange something in the near future. It was still awkward between us. Despite the facts we had found out about each other, we were strangers. It would take a lot of time with Zoe before she would feel like a friend, a sister.
We finally left after hugging awkwardly. I thanked Morgan for setting up the meeting, and the PI smiled.
“It’s wonderful when things work out this way,” she said. “I very often have cases that don’t end well, and it’s so sad.”
We parted ways, and I headed home. I had so much on my mind. Zoe had been a great person to meet, but the whole thing was disconcerting. Meeting someone that I was so closely related to, finding out how our lives had been different and how we were exactly the same, it was all so much to swallow.
But I was glad I had done it. I liked that I knew Zoe now. I didn’t know if we would keep contact or if we would become friends at all. We hadn’t grown up together. We lived different lives. We could have been on either side of the world, for all we had known about each other until now.
Now that we knew about each other, though, we could test the waters and explore the idea of a relationship.
When I arrived home, I listened to the messages on my machine. Brent’s voice filled my apartment.
Call me when you get this. I’m not going to let you push me away. We’re in this together, and we’re obligated to talk about it, at least. Meet up with me. Anytime, anywhere.
That was it. Nothing romantic, nothing emotionally charged that would make me feel like I had made a mistake pushing him away. And he still thought he could tell me what to do.
I deleted the message, shaking my head. He was my boss, and we’d started this affair with a bunch of rules, but that was over now. It had ended the moment I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t a game anymore.
I texted Brent instead of phoning him back. I wasn’t going to let him try to persuade me.
I’ll see you at work tomorrow. We can talk there.
After getting the delivery notification, I opened my laptop. I had to start looking for a new job. I had to think about my future. I had considered adoption until now, but after meeting Zoe, I was painfully aware of what it could mean to give up my baby. And I realized I didn’t want to do that. Searching for a job meant I had to find something that would give me the kind of benefits I needed when I had a child. I needed to find something worth my while.
I had another life to consider above my own now.