Chapter 3
Rena
On Thursday I was dressed in my usual office clothes again. Yesterday had been a colossal failure. Brent hadn’t looked at me twice, never mind pulling me over for hot, nasty sex. He’d had the nerve to ask me if I was dating! Like it hadn’t been obvious over the past year that I had been yearning for him.
Some men didn’t know a good woman even when she hit him in the face. I was pissed off and irritated. And sexually frustrated. I wanted a release. I wanted him to take me. I had fantasized about him doing it so many times, I was hot and bothered. But he wasn’t interested, and short of doing something ridiculous, I wasn’t going to get him to notice me.
Maybe it was better for me to move on. I had wasted a year on this guy. Everything I had done had been about him. I had dressed for him and kept myself clean and trim for him. I had dreamed of him and masturbated to him. No, getting over him would be better.
By lunchtime, my mood hadn’t improved at all, even though I decided I was over it. I left the office to meet Holly for lunch. God knows I needed to vent.
Holly Bradford and I had been friends since college. We had studied business together and graduated at the same time. She was polished and sweet and perfect. Her hair was a honey blonde, and her eyes were a bright green. She was voluptuous and shorter where I was tall and slender. We complemented each other, and we didn’t go for the same type of guy, which meant we never fought. She liked cocky and arrogant college boys or those who were only starting to build their lives. She liked the idea of potential and having a gorgeous guy who could be so much more.
I, however, preferred men who were sure of themselves. It was a tall order to find men like that at my age. So I aimed higher. Holly and I never fought about men, and we respected each other’s choices. It was what our friendship was built on. There was only one thing about Holly that I was starting to envy and that was her position in life. It wasn’t about money, either. I knew I earned more than she did. But her career was headed somewhere, while mine was staying on the same track.
Where I had become a secretary, she had become a manager of a tender department for a civil company. Sometimes, I wondered if she was better off. Especially seeing that she wasn’t so damn unfulfilled. But that had nothing to do with our careers; it was personal.
“What’s up?” Holly asked after we sat down and ordered coffee. I sighed.
“I’m over Brent.”
Holly chuckled. “Judging by how you said it, that’s not true.”
I rolled my eyes. “I should be over him. Honestly, I practically threw myself at the guy, and he just doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter what I do—he’ll never notice me.”
Holly knew everything about my conquests. The moment I’d been hired, I had called Holly and complained about my salary and that I thought he would want more from me. She’d been kind and firm. When I started developing a crush on him, Holly had been patient and understanding. Even now when I was complaining, she was willing to listen, though she’d heard the same thing over and over again.
She was a friend in a million.
“You made a move on him? In the office?”
I shook my head. “No, that would have been pushing it. Although, if I could, you know I would.”
Holly nodded. “Oh, yeah. You would have done something drastic, I just know it.”
“I did dress like an office porn star. I put on those heels I got when we went shopping last month. And the skirt with the slit.”
Holly raised her eyebrows. “That’s a statement. No one else complained?”
“I was only in my office for the day. And a statement was exactly what I’d been going for. But he didn’t seem to get it. I swear, for all his good looks, Brent is also slow on the uptake when it comes to women.” Maybe he was married, although according to Margaret, he was the most eligible bachelor in town.
“I respect your choices, Rena, but I still don’t get what you see in him. He’s so much older than you. Is it his money?”
How could I explain it to her? Older men had a way about them. They were settled in who they were. They weren’t trying to impress anyone. And Brent was at the top of the food chain. He was an alpha. No, he was an alpha’s alpha. And that made him desirable. That I couldn’t have him made him irresistible. And that he wasn’t interested in me made me ache for him. There was nothing as sinfully attractive as what I couldn’t have.
“No,” I said firmly. “It has nothing to do with his money. I’m not a gold digger. He’s just so damn attractive.
Holly shook her head. “It’s against office policy to screw your secretary. Maybe he’s being sensible.”
“Or blind,” I said. I knew a lot of men that didn’t care about office policy. As cliché as it was to fuck the secretary, there was the reason it was so popular. I was the woman Brent spent most of his time with, and I wasn’t ugly by a long shot. Surely, there had to be something in him that wanted me?
“What if you go out to drinks with him? Maybe his mind won’t be at work then and he’ll notice you.”
I shook my head. “You’re trying to make me feel better. But it’s not working. I’m done with this shit.”
Holly smiled and nodded. “Yeah, maybe that’s better. He’s just a guy.”
Just a guy who was so hot I had sex dreams about him. A guy who was so good-looking I wanted him to strip me naked and have his way with me. He was my boss, he was in charge of the office, and I knew what authority looked like. And it was hot.
Brent was just a guy, but he was the guy I wanted.
I sighed and shook my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts. He shouldn’t matter.
But he did, dammit.
Our salads arrived, and we were silent as the waiter placed our salads in front of us. After he left, Holly looked at me with bright eyes.
“We should go out,” she said. “We should get dressed and get wasted and find some guys to take home with us.”
I nodded. “You’re right. We haven’t done that in the longest time.”
Holly nodded. “And it will be good to get Brent out of your system. There’s nothing like another dick to distract you from the one you can’t have.”
I laughed. “You have such a way with words.”
Holly shrugged. “Friend in need and all that.”
Holly was right. What I needed was to get out and find someone else to fuck. I had saved myself for a man who didn’t want me for far too long. It was time to put myself out there and get it on again, to clear the plumbing. Getting with someone in a bar or a nightclub would prove to me that I still had what it took. Just because Brent didn’t want me didn’t mean there was something wrong with me—there was something wrong with him.
“When do you want to do it?” I asked Holly. “This weekend?”
Holly shook her head. “I have to work this weekend. Boss’s orders. But we can do next weekend.”
“It’s a date,” I said. Holly often had to work overtime for her boss, but he paid her accordingly. Sometimes Holly spent hours over the weekend with her boss. What I wouldn’t give to have the same with Brent. But some people have all the luck. And Holly wasn’t even interested in her the boss the way I wanted Brent.
We changed the topic and talked about trivial things, catching up, joking and laughing and having a good time.
After lunch, I made my way back to the office. I felt better about the situation with Brent now that I’d had a chat with Holly about it. She was right; I had to get out there again. If Brent didn’t know what he had, then it was too late.
Back at work, I sat down behind my desk and focused on what needed to be done. I answered emails and labeled packages that Brent wanted to send personally to select clients. There was a new product he was launching, and we had a list of favorites that were offered the first taste as a marketing strategy.
Brent returned to the office after his lunch break. I was concentrating on my work and only glanced up when he walked through the door.
“In my office when you have a chance please, Rena,” Brent said.
“I’ll be there as soon as I finish this.”
Brent continued to his office. I wasn’t sure what he needed from me, but I had to finish the document I was working on. I hadn’t committed to anything right away. I was still a little irritated that Brent only saw me for what I did there. In any other circumstance, I guess it was normal. Why should he see me as more than a secretary? But I wanted him to see me as more, and I had hoped and tried for more. I had dreamed of more. And now that I hadn’t gotten it, I was sour and pouting like a child.
I had thought the document would be quick, but it had taken me an hour to get everything ready before I could send it off. When I was finally done, I saved a copy of the document and sent a copy to Brent before sending it to the client.
When I stood, I stretched after sitting hunched over for so long. I glanced at Brent’s door and walked to the kitchenette first to get him a coffee.
I knocked on his door with the coffee in hand, and he called me in.
“Lock the door,” he said without looking up at me. I frowned. Brent had never asked me to lock the door before. His voice was deep when he said it, too. I shivered. I did as I was told and walked to Brent’s desk, placing the coffee in front of him. His eyes flicked to the coffee before he looked up at me.
“Sit down, Rena,” he said. He had a quiet command about him. Brent wasn’t one to shout as a rule, but this calm was different than what I had seen before. What could be happening? I had no idea what to expect. A locked door could mean that he wanted something from me, but I was too scared to hope for that. He hadn’t even looked at me since I’d walked in. For him to have decided that he wanted me now was crazy.
It had to be something else. Did I have to be worried?
Brent finally looked at me, his expression impossible to read. His eyes were cornflower blue and his gaze hot on my skin. I swallowed hard. This wasn’t the man I worked for. Brent very rarely made eye contact with me. He certainly never stared at me like this. The intensity was hot, and I wanted more. I wanted him to take me.
Again, I stopped myself from thinking about that. I couldn’t be disappointed again. But with the way he looked at me now, maybe I wouldn’t be.
Maybe.