Chapter 12

Talia

I couldn’t catch my breath. I blinked at the ceiling, falling from my own body. For the past hour, I’d been play-acting, thrusting myself onto Fox and fucking him like I was some slut, telling him what to do. And even finding a new way toward pleasure, experimenting with things I’d never done before. “Who did I learn that from?” my mind asked itself, over and over again. “Have I always wanted to do that?”

“Fuck,” I sighed, wiping at the sweat on my brow. I blinked toward Fox, who’d tucked his head onto the pillow. His large hand remained on my stomach, pressing down on it lightly. “That was—fucking incredible.”

“You’re more of a bad girl than I gave you credit for,” Fox said, his voice gritty. “Not such a good community member after all, huh?”

“Just because I’m nice to the world doesn’t mean I always want to be nice in bed,” I said, surprising myself. I lifted my head, leaning against an elbow and teasing him. “You know, you really do have the wrong idea of me, don’t you? You think I’m such a boring person.”

“You do bake a lot,” Fox said, his eyes flashing. It was clear he was teasing. “And all that classical music? Come on. What happened to the girl who’d bang her head to the grunge music I made in high school?”

“You like classical music, too!” I cried, smacking at his bicep. “Besides, I still have a huge collection of grunge records in the basement. I think I stole half of them from your brother after you left.”

“It’s not like he would have appreciated them,” Fox said. “It’s good you took them. I should have just given them to you before.”

“Ah, well. Same difference,” I shrugged, not wanting to drudge up the painful elements of the past. Not again.

Outside, the rainy, grey day had begun to fall into night. Cranking my head toward the clock, I noted the time: 7:36 p.m. Still, Evelyn and Lily-Rose hadn’t made an appearance. A wave of anxiety filled me, making me question everything. Why hadn’t I followed behind them, every inch of the way, instead of coming home and calling Fox? Had I really trusted Chris Campbell’s mother, a woman I did not know, and a woman who’d allowed her son to grow up and become a thief?

On cue, I heard brakes creaking up the driveway. Jumping up from the bed, I pulled another dress from the closet and quickly put it on.

“Who had Lily-Rose?” Fox asked, knowing full-well she didn’t have many friends in town.

“I’ll explain in a bit,” I sighed. “Just don’t come downstairs naked, okay? I’ll get your clothes.”

Fox nodded. It seemed his green eyes were slicing right through me, seeing the weight of my anxieties. But I clipped the door shut behind me, dividing us before diving down the steps.

Evelyn and Lily-Rose’s shadows tittered on the other side of the screen door. I strained myself to hear them, my eyebrows lowering.

“You’re going to look so beautiful in these dresses, Lily-Rose. I can’t believe your aunt doesn’t buy you anything like this,” Evelyn said, her voice high-pitched.

“I told you. I don’t like dresses,” Lily-Rose said, sounding hard-edged and sarcastic. “I’m a police officer! Rawr!”

I felt my heart hammering in my chest. Reaching forward, I gripped the doorknob and tried to bring a smile to my face. Lily-Rose tore through the crack in the door almost immediately, indeed wearing a policeman’s uniform—the very one she’d been begging for at the toy store downtown for months. In Evelyn’s arms, she carried several bags of bright, fluffy princess dresses, along with a firefighter uniform, a set of new plastic blocks, and a boy doll dressed in all blue.

“Wow. Did you leave anything at the store?” I asked, my nostrils flared.

“Ha. We had fun,” Evelyn said, striding into the house. She dropped the bags to the side, shrugging her shoulders. “You have to know, I used to love spoiling my children. I just can’t resist it when they ask me for something. And already, I feel like Lily-Rose has been a part of my life for years! She’s got a glimmer of Christopher in her; I can feel it.”

My eyes flashed. Reaching into the plastic bag, I tore out the toys and the dresses, feeling a wave of rage. Who the hell did this woman think she was, spoiling Lily-Rose like this? Already, she was an emotional child, prone to fits. Now that she knew she could just demand something like a toy truck, and get it, how on earth could I calm her down?

Lily-Rose tore back through the living room, whipping a plastic sword through the air. She stuck it toward Evelyn’s chest, crying out, “Watch it! I will conquer you!” And then, whirling toward the piano, she began to smash the sword against the keys. The banging echoed across the walls.

“Lily-Rose, stop that!” I cried, reaching for her shoulders and trying to tear her back.

“Oh, well. I bet that milkshake we just got didn’t help,” Evelyn said, suppressing a giggle.

Spinning my head back toward her, I leered, my nostrils flaring again. But, before me, I saw the loneliness, lurking like a shadow behind her eyes. The woman dropped to her knees, making them creak, and brought her arms wide. “Come on, Lily-Rose. Why don’t you give your grandma a hug before I go?”

Lily-Rose dropped her sword to her side, blinking at Evelyn. I sensed a strange tension, as if Lily-Rose wanted nothing more with Evelyn than what Evelyn could give her. Pressing my hand on her back, I guided her toward Evelyn, watching as her thin frame fell into her grandmother’s mushy breasts.

“Oh, by the way,” Evelyn said, “someone told me you’ve been hanging around with Chris’ old friend. What was his name? Everyone called him something strange. Like, a wild animal. Wolf? Or—“

“Oh! Fox!” Lily-Rose cried, rising from the hug. “He’s my piano teacher, and he’s the best, Grandma. You should see him play. And he’s helping me perform for the benefit concert.”

Evelyn’s perfectly-drawn eyebrow lifted high as she analyzed me. “Is that so?” she asked. “You really think he’s the kind of influence you want on your niece, Talia?”

My throat burned as I hunted for the right response. My tongue flitted across my lips. In the back of my mind, my thoughts screamed: Your son is in prison. Your son robbed a store. Who are you to judge?

“He was always such a rotten boy. I remember, before I moved out to Tennessee, he was always hunting through my backyard, trying to take out rabbits with a shotgun. Course, they were just hillbilly Indiana boys, I know that. But there was something about the way Fox did it. Like he was eager to hurt. I always said it got into Chris’ blood.”

I wanted to stand up for him. To tell Evelyn, point-blank, that Fox was a man I’d loved, and perhaps still loved. That Fox was a good source of energy for Lily-Rose. That if she thought her son, Chris Campbell, was “better” than Fox, then she was completely delusional.

But I held back, trying to draw a smile on my face. My people-pleasing mentality fell over me, like a false shell of comfort.

“I’ll be sure to watch out for him,” I said. “He’s really not so bad, though. Just like all of us, I suppose he had to grow up at some point.”

Except for Chris, I wanted to say. But I pressed my lips together tightly, watching as Evelyn slowly made her way back to her feet. Lily-Rose tore back toward her bag of new toys and clothes, leafing through the princess dresses and making a face. “I really do not like princesses,” I heard her mumble.

“It really would be wonderful to see her again,” Evelyn said, bringing her hands together beneath her chin. “I know I’m just an old lady. But I really do love seeing her.”

Upstairs, I heard the floorboards creak. Fox marched toward the bathroom, straining to walk slowly, becoming a ghost above us. I nodded my head slowly, souring toward her.

But I couldn’t refuse the old woman. “I’m sure we can find the time,” I told her. “Lily-Rose deserves to have more family in her life. It’s… it’s really good you came along. Truly.”

The lie was bitter against my tongue. I watched as Evelyn walked away from my house, stumbling slightly on the front steps and hobbling toward her van. She inserted the key in the ignition, cranked it, and sped from our little blue house haven. We were left in the midst of fluffy princess dresses and new games and Lily-Rose’s brand-new understanding that, given a moment with her grandmother, she could have whatever she wanted.