Chapter 21

Fox

Midway through Andrew’s tirade, I thrust myself toward the door and burst it open, stepping onto the porch. Anger ripped through my heart, making it difficult to breathe. Andrew looked at me in that disgusting, judgmental way, the way he always had back in high school.

“I knew you’d be here,” he said. “And look at you. You look like you’re dressed for a PTA meeting. Looks like you’ve got Monica here fooled. Hey there, Monica.”

Monica – this sadsack social worker – flung her hand in the air, waving. It was clear they knew one another well. I felt a horrific force, suddenly up against Talia and me. I wanted to smash my fist through the door window. I wanted to scream at Andrew until his ears bled.

“Monica, it’s good I caught you while Fox was still here,” Andrew said, now speaking firmly, as if he was filled completely with good sense. He smirked at me. “My brother here, James –

otherwise known as Fox – is possibly the worst influence on a young child like Lily-Rose that you could find. He’s got a temper that, when we were growing up, nearly destroyed our father. And then, he moved to Los Angeles and became a member of one of the most sex-crazed, druggie rock bands in the country.”

Monica’s eyes were heavy toward me, then. With a click of her pen, she began to scrawl across her clipboard, her nostrils flared. “Care to explain what he means, Fox?” she asked me, sounding every bit the prim asshole I’d taken her for since I first saw her.

“It’s true that I have a past,” I said, my voice low. “But over the past month, I’ve gotten to know Lily-Rose very well. I’ve gotten to know her aunt all over again, after dating her in high school. And I’m changed, really. I live in the woods. I don’t hurt a fly. It’s been fucking ages since I last lost my mind.”

At the word “fuck,” Monica’s eyes grew wide and bug-like. She began to whirl her pen across her pad of paper, looking furious. Andrew splayed his hands wide, gesturing toward me. “Do you see what I mean? He can’t even control himself in front of Lily-Rose. It’s disgusting.”

“Come on,” I said, smashing my fists against my thighs. “I’ve done everything for this kid.”

“Dressing up in a pair of blue jeans doesn’t mean you’re ready to be some kind of father figure, Fox,” Andrew scoffed. “It takes a bit more than teaching her how to tickle the keys, too. And Talia, you should be ashamed of yourself, trying to fool this social worker.”

Talia looked absolutely inconsolable. Her face was stricken, her cheeks blotchy and red. She stammered, hunting for words and staring at Monica. “I didn’t… I never meant for him to affect Lily-Rose.”

Monica snapped her pen into her pocket and sauntered toward the door, sniffing. “Lily-Rose, it was marvelous to meet you. And Talia? I’ll be in touch.” She snuck from the house and down the steps, leaving us with thick tension, with rage.

“Lily-Rose, run up to your room, please,” Talia said, her voice strained. “The adults need to talk. Okay?”

Lily-Rose didn’t complain. She rushed from the piano bench and tromped up the steps, leaving the three of us in a kind of stand-off. I glared at Andrew, who glowered directly back. His lips drew a small smile, as if he’d already sensed he’d won. I felt my biceps pulsing with desire to rip my fist directly through his skull.

“I can see you want to do it, Fox,” Andrew said, leering at me. “I know you want to hit me. Toss me around like you used to back in the day. Why don’t you do it? It would just make my point even more simply. Especially in front of Talia. Maybe she needs to see just how much of a monster you can be. Didn’t you see the way Lily-Rose ran away from you, just now? She’s frightened of you, Fox.”

“I’ve changed, Andrew,” I told him, almost grunting it. “I came to Bilkington to escape my demons, yes. That’s true. But, how the hell would you know what I’ve been through? You read a few tabloids about Marissa? Great. You never even came out to LA to meet her. You haven’t been present in my life in fifteen years, and now, you’re trying to sweep back in and ruin the little bit of life I have left?”

I reached to the side, mid-speech, and punched at a collection of fine china plates. They swept to the floor, clattering and crashing. The noise was alarming, echoing against the walls. Andrew pointed to me, looking giddy.

“Didn’t you see what he just did, Talia! He’s destroying your house! He can’t control himself! He’s not right for you, for Lily-Rose.”

Talia’s eyes were far away.

“She’s so frightened of you that she can’t even speak!” Andrew called. “And imagine what Lily-Rose is doing upstairs, listening to you yell and break things. Goddammit, Fox. You were never cut out for any kind of life, except the druggie one. Hell, I peeked into your car on the walk in. You’ve got a bottle of whiskey in the passenger seat, all ready for when you abandon Talia.”

Unable to control myself, I thrust myself forward, bringing my arm around Andrew’s neck and holding him against the wall. He huffed, his smile growing wider. This was what he wanted me to do. He tapped his skull against the wall, whispering. My hand cut deeper into his wind pipe.

“Show her your true colors, Fox. She’ll know you aren’t cut out to be any kind of boyfriend, any kind of father for Lily-Rose. You don’t want that anyway. I know you want to go back to your druggie life. I know you want to go back to fucking random women—whatever you asshole rock stars do. You think you own the fucking world.”

I couldn’t handle it. Anger filled my every pore. Knowing I would snap my brother’s neck if I remained, I tore toward the door and strutted down the front steps toward my car. I heard the screen door bang shut behind me. Inside, Talia had begun to wail. But my head was racing, stirring, making me crazy. I had to calm down. I had to find a space to breathe.