I sit up, moving as little as possible so not to disturb Jimmy. He still needs to sleep and heal. I’m ecstatic that his road to recovery is almost complete. Watching him with Xander yesterday filled me with such pride. To see him working so hard to achieve his goal is beyond rewarding. He knows the guilt I carry and is determined to prove to me that he’s fine.

I’m sore right now and with each movement the ache intensifies. I know I’m supposed to love this feeling after spending the night with my husband, but right now I just want to roll into the fetal position and lie on the bathroom floor.

The cold hardwood floor makes me feel a little better. I must be coming down with the flu. I rest my hand against my forehead. I’m warmer than usual. I don’t know how I’ll handle being sick and this pregnant. I’m almost unbearable now. A cold on top of this will just make me a raging bitch. Each step I take down the stairs hurts.

“Morning, darling,” Brigette says over her cup of coffee. She went back to London briefly before coming to Beaumont. She’s going to help with the baby when she gets here. I think it’s important for her and Little One to bond, especially since she lives so far away. I asked Jimmy if he thinks his mom will move here and he said no because it was too close to his dad even though his dad is in Los Angeles… playing house with Jimmy’s ex.

“Morning,” I say, leaning up against the kitchen counter. I look out into the backyard and smile. Nick, bless his heart, built Little One a playhouse to match our house. Our house. I still can’t get over saying that. It has everything I never knew I wanted. It’s a two-story colonial with a big fenced-in yard and the necessary privacy we need. As soon as I saw the dark slate blue paint and white shutters I was in love. I didn’t care what the inside looked like because just standing outside, I had my dream home.

“Are you okay?” Brigette asks, coming to stand next to me. I shake my head and lean down to rest my head on the counter.

“Everything aches and I think I have a fever.”

“Let me check.” I allow this because she’s become my second mom even though we’ve just met. I’d give anything to have my mom here and she will be soon, but right now I’m happy that Brigette is with us. “You do feel a little warm. Why don’t you go and lie down?”

“Jimmy’s sleeping and I don’t want to disturb him.”

“The sofa will suffice.” She starts to guide me to the couch, but my stomach isn’t having any of it. I cover my mouth and run off to the bathroom. Brigette follows and holds my hair back as I expel last night’s dinner into the porcelain God.

I heave again and feel a warm trickle run down my legs. “Shit I just pissed myself,” I say through tears. Today is not going to be a great day for me.

“Does your back hurt?”

I nod. “Everything hurts.”

Brigette helps me stand and offers me a washcloth and a glass of water. “Honey, you’re in labour. Sit down and I’ll go and wake up Jimmy and get you a change of clothes.”

“It’s not time.”

“Apparently Little One says it is. You’ll be fine. Now sit, I’ll be right back.”

I do as she says, except the moment I touch the seat a warm geyser rushes out between my legs soaking the floor mat along with my yoga pants.

“Jimmy,” I scream for him. I can hear him coming down the stairs too fast. I close my eyes when I hear a loud thunk followed by a string of curse words. I stand only to be met with an excruciating pain across my stomach. “Oh holy shit,” I say as I bend over.

“Jenna,” he says as he comes running into the bathroom. “Did you piss yourself, Sweet Lips?”

I roll my eyes and am about to give him a dirty look when I see how red and swollen his eye is. “Jimmy, your eye?”

“What’s wrong with it?” He stands in front of the mirror and fixes his hair. “Oh yeah, it looks like I’ll have a nice shiner.” He leans forward, examining himself.

“Jimmy,” I whine as another contraction rolls over me.

He turns and looks at me. “Oh shit, I forgot.”

Great!

He pulls me into his arms. I lean on him, hobbling like I’ve broken every bone in my body. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”

“I need to change first.”

“Jenna, don’t be vain, you’re fine. Besides they’ll give you a gown.”

“I’m not being… ahhhhhh, holy fuck.” I lean against the wall and work on my breathing technique.

“What the hell, Jenna?”

“Oh God, Jimmy, I’m in freaking labor. Where’s your mom?”

“Right here, darling. Come on let’s go and get you changed. Jimmy, by the door is Jenna’s hospital bag. Take it to the car and bring the car around so we can leave.”

“Um…”

“Now, Jimmy, or Jenna will be delivering Little One on your floor.”

“Okay, mum, but you’ll stay with Jenna?”

“Yes, now go.”

The back and forth with them is dizzying. I lean on Brigette for support as she walks me back to the bathroom. She leans me against the counter while she picks up the soaked floor mat.

“I’ll take care of that later. Now let’s get you changed.”

That awkward moment when your mother-in-law is seeing your lady bits and you don’t care. I don’t even care that she’s running a warm wash cloth up my legs. I want to be clean before having this baby.

“Thank you.”

“For what, darling?”

“For being here and accepting me.”

Brigette stands before me. “You make my son happy. That’s something I haven’t seen in a very long time. I should be the one thanking you.”

I try to smile in return, but another contraction washes over me. This one is harder and longer. “I think we should go.”

“I agree.” Brigette washes up before dressing me quickly. She holds my arm as we walk to the door. Jimmy’s pacing in the yard with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

“Jimmy!” The both of us yell. He looks at us, shocked.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Waiting for you,” he exclaims.

“Why are you smoking?” I demand.

He pulls it away from his lips and looks at it. “It’s not lit, innit?”

I brow beat him until he sets it down. “You’re going to kill yourself.”

“I wasn’t going to light it. Come on, Sweet Lips, let’s go have a baby.” Instead of walking to the car, Jimmy picks me up and carries me. He shouldn’t be doing this, but I feel so much better being in his arms. He sets me in the car and even puts on my seatbelt. Brigette climbs in the back as Jimmy gets behind the wheel.

“I need to call my mom.”

“Already taken care of, I called her when I was getting your clothes. She’ll be on the next flight out,” Brigette says. She starts rubbing my shoulders, easing away some of the tension building. I close my eyes and try to relax and breathe through my contractions.

“We’re here,” Jimmy says, slamming the car into park.

“Take her in Jimmy and I’ll park the car.”

Before I know what’s happening my door is open and I’m in his arms. “Put me down, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Bollocks, I don’t want the baby to fall out.”

Only my husband would think that.

“Hi Mrs. Davis, ready to have your baby, I see.”

“Yep, she’s like a burst pipe, she’s leaking so much,” Jimmy blurts out.

“That’s normal. Follow me.”

Still in Jimmy’s arms, we walk down the hall into a room that is decorated in passion pink. Jimmy groans and I want to bleach my eyes. Who, in their right mind, decorates like this? Do they think all women are the same and just want to stare at pink flowers while pushing out a watermelon?

“This room looks like a bottle of Pepto threw up.”

The nurse looks at me and smiles. Jimmy sets me down on the bed and stares at my feet. “You’re not wearing any shoes.”

I look down, he’s right. “Imagine that. Guess I would’ve known had I walked to the car.”

The nurse laughs. “Put this on and get comfortable. I’ll be back.”

Famous last words.

* * *

“OH my God it hurts so much,” I whine to anyone who’ll listen. I’m uncomfortable and tired. I’ve been walking up and down the hall dozens of times. I’ve sat in every position ever created. I’ve rocked on a ball through my contractions and nothing… nothing is making them go away.

“It’s almost over, babe.”

“How the hell do you know, Jimmy? Do you have some magic spidey sense telling you that the baby is almost here?”

“No, I just thought —”

“Stop thinking.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? Nothing is okay. I’m in pain and your daughter is stretching me as far as the Grand Canyon. How is this okay?”

Jimmy closes his eyes and rests his head next to mine. I want to push him away, but he gives me the coveted ice chips that are like crack. I know he’s holding them hostage and waiting for me to say nice things to him, but that’s not going to happen. I’m angry with him right now.

“I love you, Jimmy.”

“Love you too, Sweet Lips.”

My body tightens as a contraction works its way through my abdomen. “It hurts,” I whine. Tears or maybe just sweat, roll down my face.

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be. It’s your demon sperm that did this to me.”

“Jenna —”

“Don’t Jenna me. I let you stick that thing in me and now look at me.”

“You’re having a baby,” he says as if he’s trying to sweeten me up.

“Babies aren’t this evil.” I try to turn away from him, but he holds onto me. It should piss me off, but it doesn’t.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I say as the pressure increases.

“I’ll call the doctor.” Jimmy stands but I pull him back to me.

“You can’t leave me,” I cry out.

“I’m not going to, don’t worry.” He reaches over and presses the call button. The door bangs open, causing me to jump.

“How are you feeling, Jenna?” the nurse asks.

“I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Let me have a look.” Say what? The nurse lifts my blanket and puts my feet into the stir-ups. How in the hell is she going to check and see if I have to go to the bathroom? Is there some monitor I’m not aware of? “Looks like we’re ready to start pushing.”

What’s this we shit? Is she pushing too?

The nurse leaves me with my legs wide open on this joke of a bed only to return with the doctor. He sits down and smiles.

Creepy.

“Jimmy, do you remember what they taught you in Lamaze?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, it’s time. Okay, Jenna, on the count of three I want you to push.”

“How the hell do I do that?”

“I thought you said you had to go to the bathroom?” he asks.

“I do, but you won’t let me up,” I beg.

“Jenna, it’s your body’s way of telling you it’s time to push. Push out your little girl so you can meet her.”

Easier said than done in my opinion, but it’s clear no one cares what I think.

Jimmy helps me sit up. He holds my hand as I bear down.

“It burns.”

“Again, Jenna.”

I do this again and again. Over and over. Each one is more taxing than the one before. Jimmy feeds me ice chips in between the contractions and pushing. He also wipes my forehead for me and moves my hair away from my face. He’s doting when all I want to do right now is punch him in the junk. I never want to do this again.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I say, out of breath.

“Yes, you can, Sweet Lips. Just one more time.”

“Oh, what do you know? You’re never touching me again with that evil penis of yours. It’s bad news.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? What, am I not sexy enough to have sex with now? Is it my fault my vagina is going to be as wide as the Atlantic?”

“With proper exercises you can decrease the stretching,” the nurse by my head says. Jimmy and I both look at her. He shakes his head and mutters, “not cool.”

“Jimmy it hurts.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Okay, Jenna, she’s almost here. Take a look,” the doctor says.

Jimmy and the nurse lean me forward and I can see the top of her head. She has dark hair – it’s slimy now but I bet it’s beautiful.

“Look, that’s our baby.”

“She’s going to be gorgeous like her mum,” he says, kissing me on the lips. “One more push, Sweet Lips, and you’ll get to hold her.”

I nod and bear down again. I scream, hoping that the exertion will move her along. I cry when the pressure releases and fall back against my bed. Jimmy stands there looking at the doctor as he’s handed a pair of scissors. Wailing starts immediately and while I should be concerned that he’s cut our child, I’m not. I’m falling in love with someone I haven’t even seen yet.

Little One is set on my chest while the nursing staff and doctors finish up with me. Jimmy sits down beside us. He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips.

“I’m afraid to touch her,” I say.

“I know, me too. We might break her.”

Little One opens her eyes briefly before closing them again.

“You should hold her,” the nurse says.

I run my finger down her nose and over her cheek. She reacts by moving her head to where my finger is going. I try not to giggle, but I can’t help it.

“She’s fucking beautiful, Jenna. Thank you so much.” Jimmy stands and kisses me before kissing Little One.

“She is, isn’t she?”

The nurse takes her from us to run all the necessary tests to make sure she’s okay. To me, she looks perfect, but I’m her mom; I’m going to be biased.

I hold Jimmy against my chest, my tears wetting his hair. “I’m sorry for being so mean.”

He shakes his head and pulls away. His eyes are filled with tears, and one is definitely bruised giving him the bad boy vibe. “I love you so much, Jenna. As long as you never tell me to leave you, I don’t care what you say to me.”