Chapter Thirty-Three
Porter and his dad wore their first-place medals everywhere, even to church on Sunday. It was nowhere near as obnoxious as the four-foot trophy with a gold volleyball that was proudly displayed on the kitchen table. I caught Porter and his dad kissing it. Natalie didn’t mind one bit that it didn’t match the decor. That trophy represented hope. Hope that the fences would be mended and that Porter would stay.
I watched Natalie throughout the Easter services. Her head was bowed often. There was no doubt in my mind what she was praying for.
Porter too seemed to be contemplating life as he held my hand. I couldn’t remember the last time I went to church. It was probably with Jaycee and her family. And Jaycee happened to be there with her new husband, George, recently returned from their honeymoon cruise. She looked beautiful with flowers braided in her blonde hair and the tan she’d earned on her honeymoon. She waved to me before the service started with wide eyes. I’m sure she was shocked to see me there, even more surprised with who I was with. She called out that she would come find me after the service had ended. I look forward to talking to her, but my focus was on Porter.
Porter whispered in my ear, “Do you believe in God?”
He’d been asking more of those questions from that list we never got through during our dinner at Kouzina Anatolia’s. Last night he had asked me if I wanted children and how we should handle conflict and money. Big questions. Meaningful questions. The kind of questions you asked somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. I told him I wasn’t sure about children. I was afraid of what kind of mother I would be, given the way I had grown up. The thought frightened me, to be quite honest, and I definitely wanted to finish my doctorate before I considered it.
Though Porter wanted children eventually, he too was afraid of what kind of father he would be. We both decided it was a subject we would have to discuss more as our relationship progressed.
As far as conflict and money went, we were on the same page. We felt like honest communication was important. No passive-aggressive behavior, ignoring, or belittling the other person. We both had excellent credit scores and believed that you should only go into debt for houses and cars, or a really fine education.
Now here he was, asking me one of life’s biggest questions. Did I believe in God?
I leaned into him so that I could whisper in his ear. “As a scientist, I’ve never been able to prove his existence one way or the other. But the night I was caught in that house fire, I felt like there was someone beside me, helping me, almost guiding me to that bathroom window.” I was finding it hard to choke back tears. I hated remembering those days. Days where I felt so helpless and small. Where books were my only friends. “And when I was younger and frightened with no one, there was this voice inside that always calmed me. Sometimes I felt it beckoned me on, telling me things wouldn’t always be this way. I don’t know if that was God or if I should get a CAT scan.” I tried to end on a lighthearted note.
He laughed low while pulling me closer. “You amaze me. You’re stronger than I’ve ever been.”
I didn’t know about that. “Do you believe in God?”
His gaze caught mine. Sincerity pooled in his blue eyes. “You make me believe in God and miracles. And that’s no line.”
A rush of warmth spread through me that even I couldn’t give a name to. I’m not sure what that meant, but I liked it. Perhaps even loved it?
I couldn’t have told you one thing the pastor said other than amen, but I wasn’t opposed to going to church if this was what it was like.
We’d hardly stood up in our pew before Jaycee was to us, dragging along George. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’re in town!” She gave Porter a long stare. “And you two are together again?” She didn’t let us answer or take a breath. “My parents said they’d heard Porter was home, and he had a girlfriend with him. I had no idea it was you. How did this happen? And you.” She poked Porter in the shoulder. “You cheated on her.”
That had people stopping and staring, and Charlotte giggling.
Porter cleared his throat. “I would never cheat on Holland, but what I did was worse.”
Jaycee and George both squinted their eyes in confusion.
“It’s a long story,” I said. “Maybe we could have lunch this week and catch up.” I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth. It was too normal for me.
“Let’s make it a double date,” Jaycee suggested.
Porter looked a little wary but nodded his head and George seemed to be of the mind that he did whatever his wife wanted him to.
“I’ll text you later.” Jaycee gave me a big hug. She took George by the hand and they were off.
The rest of our Sunday was spent on the Clairborne’s boat before we had a traditional Mexican Easter feast. Natalie made molotes, which are empanadas filled with chorizo and potatoes. She also made tres leches. Since it was Easter, even Mr. Clairborne got to eat the sinful cake and fried empanadas. That put him in an even better mood than he already was. It was great to watch father and son laugh and joke throughout the day. They even did some fishing on the boat. Their actions that weekend gave Natalie and me a lot of hope that the coming week wouldn’t be our last together for a while. I knew even if Porter stayed permanently he would have to go back to Tahoe to settle his affairs there.
Neither one of us was really broaching the subject. We both knew it hinged on whether he would have a job here or not. And it’s not like he could work for another resort around here. He would never compete against the Clairborne.
It wasn’t only on our minds. Jaycee decided we shouldn’t wait for our lunch date. She asked Porter and me to meet her and George at one of the seafood restaurants near the wharf on Monday. Porter tore himself away from all the work he had to do for both the Clairborne and the Bristol. But I’d noticed he had decided we shouldn’t spend any time apart this last week. I woke up this morning to find him typing away in my bed. He said he couldn’t sleep so he thought he would watch me sleep. I knew that meant he still wasn’t sure which way things would go. I was preparing myself for the fact that this could be a long-distance relationship.
During lunch with Jaycee and George, otherwise known as the Buchanans, George inevitably asked what Porter did for a living. Jaycee was awfully interested to know as well.
Porter had no problem answering. “I’m the social media director for the Bristol. It’s a ski resort in Tahoe.” He said it with pride. You could tell he loved his job.
“So how long are you in town?” Jaycee looked at me, though she spoke to Porter.
Porter rubbed the back of his neck while squeezing my hand under the table. “I have to go back this weekend.”
Jaycee gave us both an uneasy smile. “Long-distance relationships work out all the time. I mean, George and I had to spend an entire month apart once when I went to Europe with my parents.”
I appreciated the sentiment, though that didn’t sound too awful, but I had already looked up the statistics. Most long-distance relationships only lasted four and a half months.
I decided we should change the subject. “Tell us about your honeymoon.”
Jaycee was happy to oblige, she pulled out her phone filled with dozens of pictures of their Caribbean cruise. Porter and I did our best to be attentive while we listened to Jaycee narrate their entire honeymoon, leaving little out, even the parts she should have, like where some of their intimate pursuits took place. Poor George downed a whole beer while his wife embarrassed him. Meanwhile, Porter and I shared meaningful glances that had nothing to do with sex on the beach. It had everything to do with what our future held.