CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Scarlet fought against the cold November wind howling down her street. If she’d been smart, she would have taken her car to the grocery store instead of walking the ten blocks. If she’d been even smarter, she would have ordered in pizza.
But she’d been too restless to stay cooped up in her apartment any longer. During the work week, she managed her restlessness by taking on extra projects and staying so busy she had no time to brood. The weekends were different. She had too much time to think and to wonder how Cameron and Tessa were doing. Their happiness was always on her mind, and she wondered if they missed her, even half as much as she missed them.
She’d needed this walk, even though the wind was biting cold and her two bags of groceries were getting heavier by the minute.
A block from her building, she noticed a truck parked in front that looked like Cameron’s. Her heart lifted in joy before she told herself there were probably hundreds of trucks like his in the city. She had to stop seeing his face in the crowds, seeing reminders of him everywhere she looked. She had to stop thinking about him, dreaming of being in his arms again. If she didn’t stop loving him, she’d lose her mind.
But when the truck door opened and Cameron stepped out onto the sidewalk, she stopped walking, incapable of putting one foot in front of the other. Her lungs threatened to explode as she stood on the sidewalk staring at him. She reminded herself to breathe.
He walked toward her. “Can I carry your groceries for you?”
She hadn’t spoken to him in two weeks and his first words to her were about groceries?
“Why are you in Chicago? Is Tessa sick? Is she all right?”
“Tessa is fine.” He took the bags from her cramped fingers. “She’s barely mentioned her mother since she got home. She seems very happy to be back in Minnesota.”
Scarlet let out a relieved breath. “Good. I’m glad she’s happy.” If Tessa was okay, why was Cameron here?
He cleared his throat. “I have a message from Harper and Maggie. They thought it should be delivered in person.”
Sudden panic swirled in her gut. “Is Harper all right? Maggie? What’s happened?”
“Everyone’s fine, Scarlet, honestly.”
Her heart fell. So, he was here on an errand from her sisters, not because he wanted to see her. Why did they think this message needed to be delivered in person? And why by Cameron? They knew how hard seeing him was for her.
He nodded toward her building. “Do you think we can go inside? It’s cold out here.”
“Yes, of course.”
She fished her keys from her purse. If he was coming all the way from Solace Lake with a message from her sisters, she could at least let him deliver it in the warmth of her apartment.
Scarlet opened her door and turned on the lights. Cameron followed her inside with the grocery bags, and she pointed to her kitchen. “You can put them on the counter. Would you like some tea?”
“Sure.”
She filled her kettle with water and set it on the stove to boil. As she was pulling cups from the cupboard, her hands shook. He unnerved her, making her tiny apartment seem even smaller with his large presence. And she didn’t yet know what he came all the way to Chicago to say to her. It must be important.
He emptied the bags and put the milk and other perishables in the fridge.
“Where does this go?” he asked, holding up a can of chicken noodle soup.
“You can leave it on the counter. I was going to have that for supper. What about you? Are you hungry?”
“Starved,” he said. “I didn’t stop to eat.”
It was almost an eight-hour drive from Solace Lake to Chicago. Maybe he’d been in such a hurry to see her he hadn’t stopped to eat.
She pushed the wishful thinking from her mind. “We can go out and get something. There’s a great little Italian place a few blocks from here.”
He shook his head and smiled. “I’d rather stay here. If it’s okay with you.”
“Of course.” His smile appeared nervous and she wondered at the reason. She hid her anxiousness with a smile of her own. “Luckily for you, I recently laid in a few supplies.”
While the soup heated, Scarlet filled her teapot with hot water and loose tea and set it aside to steep. She found a can of tuna in the back of her cupboard and made them each a sandwich. For dessert, she set the cookies she’d purchased on a plate. It didn’t seem like much.
“I always said Maggie got the cooking gene in the family. Are you sure you don’t want to go out?”
He set his hand on her arm. “It’s fine, Scarlet. Really.”
It was the first time he’d touched her since he arrived. His warm fingers burned a hole through her thick sweater. A trail of fire ran straight to the apex of her thighs, as if he’d touched her in her most sensitive spot, the way he’d done so many times before.
She stepped back, afraid if she let herself bask in his warmth she’d do something to embarrass herself, like jump into his arms. Turning away, she busied herself filling two bowls with the soup and bringing them to the table.
“Everything’s ready. Why don’t you sit down?”
They ate in silence. Scarlet nibbled at her sandwich, her stomach too tied up in knots. Cameron obviously didn’t have the same problem. He wolfed down his food and then reached for a couple of cookies. Scarlet poured tea for them both, using a strainer to catch the loose leaves.
Cameron swallowed a bit of cookie and sipped his hot tea. “You’re not eating.”
“I’m fine.” Time to end this charade so he could leave. “What message did Harper and Maggie send you to deliver?”
He set down his cup. “It’s about your mother’s letters. They said they weren’t only letters from her teenage boyfriend. It looks like their relationship resumed about three years before her death. They were having an affair.”
Scarlet sat back in her chair, shocked, though not sure why. She’d known all along her mother was having an affair. “They’re sure?”
His eyes were steady and calm. “Yes.”
He told her what Harper and Maggie had told him about the letters. “I’m sorry, Scarlet. There’s more,” Cameron said.
“More?” She sucked in a breath and turned her face away, tears burning behind her eyes. She couldn’t take much more.
“I told them,” he said. “I told them about what you saw and heard on the day your parents died. They don’t blame you, sweetheart. They want you to know you had nothing to do with their deaths. Nothing.”
She clapped her hand over her mouth to stop her sob but tears spilled over onto her cheeks. She shook her head. “You shouldn’t have. You shouldn’t have. You promised.”
Cameron came around the table to kneel beside her. He caught her hand and placed a kiss in the palm. “I had to, sweetheart. I couldn’t let you suffer anymore. All these secrets that the two of us have been carrying around inside for so long, they’re killing us. We both have to let them go. We can’t let the past have power over us anymore.”
Scarlet wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “What do you mean?”
“You need to forgive yourself for the role you believe you played in your parents’ death, and I…” He stopped and took a deep breath before lifting his gaze once more to look into her eyes. “I had to forgive myself for being a drunk. I was so afraid of hurting you that I walked away, but I realize now there are no guarantees in life. We have to love each other and hope our relationship weathers all the storms.”
He got to his feet and pulled her up with him. “I love you, Scarlet. I want to spend my life weathering those storms with you. I promise you right here, right now, I’ll never leave you again. I’ll never push you away. I’ll always stand beside you.”
She was thrilled to hear him say he loved her. But they needed so much more than love.
They needed trust.
“Cameron,” she whispered. “I love you, and I’ve dreamed of having you say those words back to me. I know you think you mean what you say right now, but how can I be sure? Before, when things got rough, you turned away from me. I can’t do that anymore. It’s too hard.”
He cupped her face with his big hands. “I won’t go anywhere, Scarlet. I’m not scared to love you anymore. I believe in you, in us. Yes, I was afraid of hurting you, but I was more afraid of being hurt again, rejected. All this time I told myself I was doing the right thing, the noble thing by leaving you. I was saving you from living with a drunk. But what I was really doing was saving myself. I was leaving you before you had a chance to leave me. But I’m not scared anymore. I need you, and I want to be the man you need me to be.”
She looked into his dark eyes and knew he’d stand by her no matter what life threw at them. In that moment, she knew she could always trust him. She gave him a tremulous smile. “Can you say it again?”
“I love you.”
She wound her arms around his neck. “Maybe once more.”
He grinned and the beauty of his smile made her heart sing. She vowed to make him smile every day for the rest of their lives.
“I love you, Scarlet.”
She’d never get tired of hearing him say those words. And she’d never get tired of saying them back to him.
“I love you, too, Cameron.”