Chapter Thirteen
Kaylee could see the tension in her husband by the tightness of his jaw and the way his shoulders were set, so stiff and unyielding. They’d been on the road for about an hour and a half and he’d barely spoken a word except to Logan and Jared. Constantly on alert, he’d kept checking his rearview mirror as their vehicle was the “tail” of this small parade. Mike and Amy were in the front, Jared right behind, and Logan, Ava, and the twins next. From this distance, Kaylee could see the outline of her best friend in the passenger seat, her hands gesticulating in the air. Logan and Ava were having a lively discussion. Or maybe they were simply singing a song with their kids.
Giving up on the book she’d been trying to distract herself with, Kaylee gave all of her attention to her husband. She loved looking at him, studying his chiseled profile and enjoying the strength and integrity she saw there. Reed was a handsome devil and he only seemed to get better with age. There was silver at his temples and a few new lines around his eyes, but they only served to make him more interesting.
Why wasn’t it the same with females? Men became more fascinating and women became…older.
Except that Kaylee didn’t always feel just older. She’d walked through fire, and although the flames were still lapping at her heels she just might make it to the other side, scarred but alive. Ava had reminded her that she was strong and could handle this.
I’m going to be okay. Somehow. Eventually.
Either with Reed or without him. Kaylee would prefer it to be with her husband, but she was so tired of apologizing for something she couldn’t control or fix. This was who she was and if he didn’t want her this way she’d have to find a way to deal with it. They were both hurting and instead of moving toward each other, they’d both curled into a ball and turned away. Finding each other in the dark wasn’t going to be easy but she was willing to reach out and so was he. They had a chance and for that she was grateful.
“Are we being followed?” she asked as he glanced in the rearview mirror again.
His head jerked in her direction, his brows pulled together in a frown. “No. Hell no. Why do you ask?”
“Because you keep looking in the mirror. I assume you’re concerned about being followed.”
Sighing, his shoulders relaxed for the first time that morning. “Yes and no. There was a concern that Wade was watching the house and might follow us when we leave but we haven’t seen any sign of that. I think we got away clean.”
“Got away clean,” she repeated, amusement in her tone. “Such a charming expression. Like we just knocked over a bank and are on the run from the heat.”
Reed smiled, showing off his dimples. “Baby, I am the heat.”
Remembering last night, she could only agree. “Yes, you are.”
His hazel eyes had darkened to almost black. He too was thinking about last night.
“When we get home I am going to make you scream my name over and over. The neighbors will know I’m back.”
They hadn’t discussed Reed that but she wasn’t against it. They couldn’t work this out separately and they were both miserable apart.
“Our closest neighbor is over three miles away, Reed.”
Chuckling, he shot her an evil grin. “You’re going to be screaming pretty loud.”
Something to look forward to, but…
“We still have a lot to work out. It’s not all fixed because we had sex last night.”
“I know. But we’re not solving anything with me living in the apartment above the station. We need to be together. Or rather, I need to be with you. I hope you feel the same.”
“I do.”
“But?”
Kaylee shook her head. “No buts. I just know that we have a lot of work ahead of us. There are still things we need to talk about. I’m so tired of crying. Everyone talks about how cleansing it is and I know it can be, but lately I don’t feel any better after a good cry. I just feel…”
“Sad?” Reed finished for her. “Exhausted? More confused than ever?”
“That about covers it. How did you know?”
“You’re not the only one who has cried.”
Reed had cried? She’d certainly seen her husband shed a tear or two but an actual crying jag?
“I’m sorry I made you cry.”
“I’m sorry too, although it wasn’t so much what we did to each other, was it? Life isn’t going to let us have the fairy tale and that hurts like a bitch, but we have so much else to be thankful for. That’s what I want us to concentrate on. What we have, not what we don’t.”
It sounded so easy but doing it was far more difficult.
“I am grateful for what we have. I know how lucky we are. And yet–”
Kaylee broke off, loath to put her thoughts into actual words.
“You’re still upset that we can’t have it all.”
“Yes,” she admitted, her voice shaky with emotion. Her throat had tightened up and she had to swallow hard to be able to speak. “I know that’s selfish. We have so much and so many have so little that it feels petty to be like this. To want more.”
“It’s not petty. It’s human.”
“It still feels wrong.”
“You’re so hard on yourself. Far harder than anyone else could ever be. Cut yourself some slack. You’re only human. We both are.”
To lighten the atmosphere, Kaylee tried to crack a joke. “This is why I don’t read my reviews.”
“I’ve read them. Readers love you.”
“I bet they don’t all love me.”
Shrugging, he glanced in the rearview again but this time much less tense. “Probably, but they don’t matter. Not everyone is going to love you, honey. Life doesn’t work like that.”
“If I remember correctly, that’s how you and I met. Nasty letters from a so-called fan. I know that everyone isn’t going to love me, but it would sure be nice.”
Kaylee still read all of her emails – good and bad. Most of them were good but a few were blisteringly awful.
“You wouldn’t want that. If everyone loves you, you’re kissing somebody’s ass. And you’re no ass-kisser.”
Neither was he.
“Interesting theory you have there. I never thought about it that way, but you have a point.”
“I’m a wise man.”
He’d said it with such a straight face Kaylee had to laugh. “That you are. Now can the wise man shed some light on a question that’s been bugging me?”
“Absolutely.”
Kaylee pointed to the vehicle in front of them. “What’s going on there? Ava looks animated.”
Reed gave a heavy sigh and then groaned. “That poor dumb bastard. I bet Ava took one look at Logan and knew exactly what he’s up to. He’s screwed.”
“What is he up to? Is he thinking about going after Wade again?”
“I wish it were that simple. He’s got an idea that’s not going to make Ava happy. You won’t be, either.”
“Then you better tell me all about it.”
* * * *
Kaylee stretched her cramped legs as she exited the car. They were stopping for gas and to grab a bite to eat. The twins were complaining that they were hungry and her own stomach was growling angrily. Even the fast food smelled amazingly delicious and she couldn’t wait to sink her teeth into a cheeseburger and fries. Maybe a chocolate shake, too. She hadn’t eaten much for breakfast, too anxious about their road trip.
The store they’d stopped at was one of those supermarts with gas, food, and a huge store with everything and anything they could ever want. Reed and Jared were going to follow the women around the grocery area while the others picked up camping gear. The cabin they were going to didn’t have enough room for all of them to sleep inside. Luckily it wasn’t January.
Not knowing how long they would be stuck there, Kaylee and Ava piled the cart high with food – some healthy and some nothing but junk.
“Never go the grocery store hungry,” Kaylee said, tossing two bags of chips into the cart. “Which is why we’re going to spend a small fortune in this store. I’m starved.”
“I am, too,” Ava declared. “And I don’t care how much crap we eat. If I’m going to be on the road like this, I’m going to have s’mores.”
Reed and Jared flanked the women but stayed back a few steps, always watchful and on alert. For a short time, it was rather peaceful as the twins had whined until they got to go with daddy to look at tents. They’d thought that was the coolest thing ever.
“When we were driving behind you…well…it looked like you were upset about something.” Kaylee kept her voice down so Reed and Jared wouldn’t hear. “Reed said that Logan wants us away from him.”
Ava rolled her eyes and sighed. “Yes, he does. I’m shocked he let the twins hang out with him in this store, but I guess he thinks that Wade isn’t following us and that he wouldn’t start a shootout in a superstore in Montana where everyone is packing heat.”
“He’s just worried about you and the kids.”
For some reason Kaylee felt the need to defend Logan. Every time she looked at him, he appeared to be a man tortured by the current circumstances.
“I know and that’s why I didn’t cut off his balls. I simply let him know that I wasn’t leaving him. The kids, on the other hand…”
Kaylee’s ears perked up at her friend’s words. Clearly Ava was having misgivings about keeping her children close. “You’re thinking about sending Brianna and Colt somewhere else?”
Lips turned down, Ava rubbed at her temples. “I don’t want to. My motherly instinct is to wrap them in cotton wool and keep them close to me, but like Logan says that might not be the smartest thing I could do. Being away from us would probably be safer. Evan has a group of former marshals in Florida that could watch over them. Heck, they could take them to Disney World. They’d love that.”
“They’d miss their parents.”
“When Mickey Mouse and all the princesses are there? Not hardly.”
“You wouldn’t go with them?”
It was hard for Kaylee to wrap her mind around the idea that Ava would let her children go. But if it was to keep them safe…
“Logan needs me. But they wouldn’t go alone. They’d be with the person I trust most in the world.”
It took a moment for Kaylee to realize that Ava meant her. She would trust her children to Kaylee even with a sadistic sociopath on the loose.
Overwhelmed with emotion, Kaylee’s eyes welled with tears. “I would protect them with my life. You know that.”
“That’s why I could send them with you.”
“But,” Kaylee said, holding up her hand. “They would want their mom and dad. I’m a poor substitute.”
“They love you,” Ava insisted, looking right and left. The men were still hanging back and busy watching everyone else. “I know that this is a shitty time to discuss this but if anything happens to me and Logan–”
“Don’t even say it. Don’t even think it.”
Ava stopped the cart near a tower of bananas. “No, I need to say this despite this being the worst location ever for a discussion like this. I should have done it long before now. If anything happens to Logan and me, we want you and Reed to raise our children. I should have asked you first but we kind of put that in our will. You have the choice, though. If you don’t want to, then Jared and Misty are up to bat. My mom is getting too old to run after two kids and my sister hates my guts. You’re like the sister I never had but always wanted. I know you’ll do right by Colt and Brianna.”
Tears streamed down Kaylee’s cheeks and she quickly swept them away, not wanting to make a scene right here in the produce section. She bent her head hoping that Reed didn’t see because he’d want to know what was happening.
“You certainly have lousy timing. We’re shopping for oranges,” she replied thickly, trying to make light of a serious situation. It was becoming a habit. “You know that we’d raise them as our own.”
“I know you would, but I also don’t want you to feel obligated to do it. That’s why we’ve given you the option. I would understand if you didn’t want the responsibility and expense. There would be insurance money, of course, and you could sell our houses–”
“Stop,” Kaylee commanded loudly, drawing strange looks from passersby. Jared and Reed were eyeing them curiously as well and looked ready to intervene at any moment. “Seriously, stop talking about this. Nothing is going to happen. You and Logan are going to be fine and we’re going to catch Wade and everything is going to be wonderful.”
It sounded a little bit fantasy-like, but it was the outcome Kaylee was hoping and praying for.
She couldn’t even fathom the alternatives. It all made her problems seem so small in comparison.
Reed sidled up to Kaylee and placed an arm around her shoulders. His gaze was searching, questioning, but this was far from the place to tell him the content of the conversation. “Is everything okay here?”
Both women nodded and smiled, Kaylee wiping away the last stray tear. Her heart felt too big for her ribs and her stomach tumbled in her abdomen. Ava was the closest thing she had to family and she would do anything for her.
“We’re fine,” Kaylee assured her husband. “We just had a moment. We’re both hungry so we’re going to hurry up here so we can eat.”
Reed didn’t believe a word out of her mouth. He’d always known her so well but to his credit he didn’t call her out today. “Sounds good. We’re hungry, too. What all is left?”
“Produce and meat,” Ava pronounced. “Then we’ll be finished.”
Reed checked his phone. “The others are done too, so let’s hurry. We need to get back on the road. We’re too out in the open here.”
Because they could never forget why they were all here together. Wade Bryson.